We sat in the car for most of our time together and that was alright, for me. Chen looked very uncomfortable and I was worried if it was me. We listened to old songs and lost indie bands over the radio as we sat together in the car. We had been silent for a while. On the first day, we'd attempted to just "hang out" at a cafe but that had been impossible and within an hour, we were in the confines of the car. 

We were, on the fourth day, sitting together inside the car because of the fans who'd seen us at the nearby coffee shop. That meant that we fled and were now sitting in a little bubble of uncomfortable silence. 

"I promised to protect you. I came through, right?" I said. 

"Yes, you did. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I am really sorry." 

"You keep saying that and I keep telling you that it's okay." 

"It's not okay." 

"I like spending time with you, here." 

"It's a hot, sweaty car. What's so fun about it? We should be out doing... stuff."

I giggled. "What stuff?" 

"I don't know. Random things that friends do together." 

"It's okay. I like this. Usually with my best friend, we just sit in a room and talk continuously." 

"That's wonderful." 

"Then, what's different, right now?" 

"I don't know... it just feels different." 

"I think it's because we're not friends yet," I told him, jokingly and that earned me a great nudge. 

"That hurts," I murmured, rubbing my arm. 

"Good." 

"But, we're not friends. Why does that matter?" I joked and he gave me another nudge.

"It hurts, dummy." 

"If we're not friends, how can you call me dummy?" 

"Ok, I won't call you dummy."

"Why'd you call me that before?" 

"You're going to be petty about this?" 

"Of course, I am," he said, and his expression seethed with faux anger, causing me to crack up. 

"OK, fine, we're friends." 

"Good." 

"Should I be honest?" 

"Yeah." 

"I don't know anything about EXO that's happened in the past two months." 

"Because of your job?" 

"Yes, that's why i feel that someone else should be here. Someone who deserves to be here." 

"I wanted to spend time with you because of how good your story was. And... because, I remembered you quite clearly from two months ago."

"Because of the dino charm?" I asked him, motioning towards his car keys.

"I don't know what it was, Ari. I think you're very pretty. But... it was your voice I remembered more than anything else. It's soft and melodious and... now, I sound like a psychopath." 

"That's kinda sweet," I told him, unsure if he really meant what he was saying. I had barely said anything to him back then, what was special about my voice? 

"I liked your letter, too." 

"Oh my god, believe me, I tried so hard not seem like I was entirely... in love with you," I whispered the last part. To be honest, I totally was but... saying it to someone's face is the hardest thing that you could possibly do. 

"Mostly, you sounded like you were ordering me to stay safe, be healthy, eat a lot, take care of Xiu hyung and Lay hyung and sleep a lot and not stress. You almost sounded like an eomma." 

"I am your eomma now," I joked and stuck my tongue out at him, like a five year old. 

"You're not even a noona. Don't exaggerate," he said. 

"So what? I can still take care of you," I told him and he smiled, leaning in really close. 

"You have taken care of me, haven't you? For the past few days..." he murmured before his lips were on mine. 

I would push him away, if I wasn't kissing him back and if my hands weren't already on his shoulders, pulling him closer. I would not kiss my ultimate bias if I really wanted not to kiss him. I felt his tongue gently press up against my teeth and I parted them. It wasn't the fairytale kiss that most fan fictions had told me about. It didn't feel like he was the only one for me. I didn't see the stars or feel myself get loopy. I'd kissed people before and the thing that set this kiss apart was that it was Chen. It was the person I'd always wanted to see, touch, feel. That was the only reason I was super excited. I swear. 

He pulled away and I leaned back, trying not to look like a wheezing seal. I joined my hands on my lap begging them not to pull him close again. I begged myself not to look over at him or think about anything other than the fact that this felt awkward as hell now. I looked out of my window and realized that there would be no coming back from this. I would never just look at him again. 

"I'm not sorry," he whispered.

"What?" 

"I'm not sorry I kissed you and I'm not sorry that you kissed me back."

I didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't sorry? Does that make sense? 

"Ari, do you regret it?" He asked me and I turned to look at his puppy dog face.

"No, I don't regret it but it's sad to know that nothing will ever come off it." 

"What does that mean?" 

"Nothing... I think I should get home." 

"Ari..." 

"And, let's not meet anymore, ok? Let's not talk about this, ever. Don't contact me or anything," I said, moving to open the door. 

"Ari, you have to be at the concert at the end of the week." 

"I'll be there. Just... that one last time, ok?" 

"Why are you doing this?" 

"Come on, Chen, you and I both know that SM will chew me up and spit me out