Kyuhyun’s eyes wandered out the thick windows, unveiled from the pale curtains, revealing the dark icy colors of night.

The white areas of his eyes were like maps, red lines like routes and streets and highways crossing over each other, a clear sign that he had been crying.

“Kyuhyun-ah, this is the sixth day you’ve went without breakfast. You can’t possibly go a week without the most important meal of the day.” Ryeowook sighed by the door and Kyuhyun echoed him.

“It’s alright, hyung.” Kyuhyun replied and Ryeowook stepped back, mouth dropped in a perfect ‘o’. It was almost the first time he’s been called hyung by Kyuhyun, whom was normally stubborn and very well won his way with his informality.

“I-Kyu-alright,” Ryeowook collapsed with helplessness and returned to the kitchen.

Leeteuk looked at him with hopeful eyes and he shook his head, pulling out a chair. The silly TV talked to itself in the living room, creating the only sound in the packed dorm.

Tired of the drowsiness circulating the room, Leeteuk supported himself up and pulled himself to the doorway of Kyuhyun’s room.

He stood quietly and watched Kyuhyun return to his break-down, his heart aching for Kyuhyun, whom he had finally gotten used to and now care deeply about.

“Kyu-ah,” he called gingerly and Kyuhyun’s face slowly emerged from the mountain of blankets.

“Y-yes?” he hiccupped cutely, a hand wiping across his red eyes. Leeteuk could, so close, hear his heart shatter.

‘Why don’t you go to the office and practice? It’d do you some good,” he added, sizing Kyuhyun. The younger latter paused and pondered, then broke into a wide smile.

“Thanks, I will,” he whispered and wobbly got up. He tripped towards the washroom to get ready and Leeteuk smiled a little, accomplished.

The ride towards the office was awkward, even more than the last time Kyuhyun was inside the van himself with the manager. When he hopped off the van, the manager cleared his throat and smiled gratefully.

“Thank you, Kyuhyun.”

Confused, Kyuhyun paused and looked back at his manager with a questioning look. He hadn’t done anything in the past week except for mop around and attend music shows occasionally because they were promoting. He didn’t deserve being thanked at all; he personally felt that he should be scolded, over and over.

“Why?” his eyebrows furrowed.

The manager’s megawatt smile didn’t dim and he nodded his head wisely, “For being strong. For recovering so fast, and not thinking only of your personal life but for everyone behind and supporting you. Thanks.”

With that, the windows to the van rolled back up and the door slid closed, sealing the manager inside the vehicle and Kyuhyun was left in dust, his heart slightly touched by the mini-speech he had received.

Kyuhyun locked himself up inside the room with the cloud backdrop. He knew that the clouds were supposed to make the artists feel more relaxed and no matter what time they’re practicing, feel like they’re under the strict gaze of the sun and simply cannot slack off.

He started off singing, just randomly parading the room climbing the scales of different keys and majors, practicing his solos in their promotional song, and as he entered a stage of a better, happier mood, he started singing the other members’ parts as well, imitating Yesung’s sharp inhales, Ryeowook’s quiet voice, and Eunhyuk and Shindong’s paced raps.

It was noonand he was enjoying his free practice time, all the debuted artists were either doing their own schedules and concerts, and the trainees wouldn’t be at the main practice room anyways.

Kyuhyun would even bet his silky voice that Leeteuk probably scared the members into not coming near the practice room.

He tried to polish his dancing, but was restricted by his stiff limbs. Tired of flinging his arms and legs around, he stopped and started singing again, pretending he was onstage at the MadisonSquare Garden, his dream concert hall.

He knew that pop was not the most suitable genre for his smooth voice but stereotypically, he had thought that if he must perform in America, he must know some music. Flipping through the albums that SM Entertainment had oh-so-nicely provided, he found old-school Britney Spears and began throwing his short hair around, acting like a fool.

He practiced his choppy Japanese and English, and then spoke Chinese to the bored mirrors.

Having a blast, he looked through more and more albums until he came by an untitled grey CD that was almost completely blank except a perfect line of calligraphy.

Ecstatic and like a child, he peered closer and read the words.

Debut Album- So Nyeo Shi Dae

He had never heard of such group as So Nyeo Shi Dae and figured that it was probably a new group SM was planning. Girls’ Generation? He bitterly thought. Sounds like a cheerleading team though. Shrugging it off, he tried to insert it into the CD player but it displayed in bold robotic lettering: could not read-locked.

His brain whirred to life. He was not the evil maknae for nothing, and he put his fingers at the keypad, thinking of possible passwords the company would lamely use as the passcode.

Kyuhyun tried his birth date first, just to be funny to his audience, which consisted of all the inanimate objects in the room.

Then he tried DBSK’s debut date. He tried H.O.T.’s first win date. He inserted the debut date of S.E.S. and the first solo stage of BoA.

None of them worked and he returned to birthdays instead. Knowing enough to not waste his time, he avoided trying the birthdays of the members of Super Junior and tried DBSK’s, since they were main money-makers for SM currently.

An idea popped into his mind and he smirked at the locked door, double checking, before entering the birth date of Lee Soo Man.

The CD player wheezed and the tape began rolling.

As he listened to their sample track he noticed a small sheet of paper slipped into the back and carefully slid it out with slender fingers.

Kim Taeyeon              Lee Soonkyu              Hwang Mi Young

Kim Hyoyeon        Kwon Yuri            Im Yoona

Seo Joo Hyun      Jung Soo Yeon (?) Choi Soo Young (?)

Below the possible member names were the unofficial tracklist but Kyuhyun wasn’t listening to the song anymore, nor was he reading further down. His eyes lingered on the seventh name and he felt all his past hours of happiness drain away, his face turned a pale ash color.

If they debut, that means they have to encounter each other daily, especially as labelmates. He felt his heart sink; how many times did he convince himself to forget her and now here she is, in every corner of his life?

Feeling uncomfortable in the deep pits of his stomach, he stuffed the CD back inside its case, returned the slip of paper and sat down on the floor, sighing.

Tears threatened to trip over the brim of his eyes but he blinked, holding in the shallow salty water.

He had felt such a connection to her and it breaks him to know that they might never be on good terms again because of his reckless mistake and big mouth.

Standing up bravely, he returned all the equipments he had borrowed and exited the door, wandering aimlessly around the huge main building.

Without meaning to eavesdrop, he heard a voice he had gotten used to two weeks ago and stuck his ears to the door. He knew just how thin the doors of SM are. The more money saved the better.

“I don’t think I can debut,” he heard her tearful cry and wanted to knock the door down and hug her, but ignored the feeling of guilt chomping on his stomach.

“Have confidence, Seo. You will debut and become the greatest female singer known to South Korea. Your albums will rocket sky-high even on the Oricon. You will be able to perform at the Tokyo Dome and even sell out the MadisonSquareGarden!” a new unfamiliar voice piped up.

“R-really?” he heard the painful disbelief in her voice and the guilt gnawed him even more.

“Really. We can do it, both of us.” The other girl’s confidence was obvious and he felt a bit thankful that heavens provided her a trustworthy friend.

Just then, the door opened and two girls walked out, linked arms. One was Seohyun, looking a little happier than Kyuhyun in the past week, and the other was the girl he had saw with Seohyun at the café when he first met her.

Kyuhyun, always having late reflexes and unable to blend himself, jumped back and made a loud crash against the floor.

Seohyun’s eyes traveled to him and looked into his guilty eyes. Her eyes were red just like his, but she looked in a better condition in the arms of her friend. She had a bewildered look in her eyes but there was anger, frustration and angst buried.

“H-hey,” Kyuhyun mumbled, shooting her a smile.

“Come on, unnie, let’s go to work.” She grabbed the wrist of the other girl and scampered towards the door.

“Who was that? Cho Kyuhyun from Super Junior?” her voice traveled to Kyuhyun’s ear.

“Nobody, I don’t know him. Probably another loser trying to hit on you.” Seohyun shrugged, looking back at Kyuhyun, shooting daggers.

But they both knew the truth.

Kyuhyun dusted himself and ran after the two girls.

---

Just to clarify, I didn't put question marks beside Jessica's and Sooyoung's name because I dislike them or anything. It's because I heard from a source that they were originally supposed to debut in a three member group called Baby Cat? Not sure.

Not a lot of SeoKyu because I needed a chapter to string things together and also I promised that SNSD would debut soon. Ltos more interactions in the next chapter. *pinky promises*

@kyuseo23286:  thanks for your support! yes, things are gonna get better soon. (: can't bear to dissatisfy the hearts of a shipper/

@meggy15990: hello! thank you for reading! Seohyun is going through hardships but in the end hardwork will pay off. ^-^ thanks for the support.

@jinnie: i hope this chapter answered your question (a little bit). Next chapter would be more detailed and fingers crossed that they'd have more conversation!

@Eririn: your comment seriously made me burst into tears. I sobbed into a pillow for ten minutes. Thank you so much for liking this and I am ever so grateful for your support. <3