JungK ook POV :

When we reached the college, Hana and I were welcomed by that girl … Yerin in front of the school gate; she stopped walking when she caught sight of us, her eyes held questionable gazes and mixture of both guilt and anger; I ignored her and walked ahead when Hana was about to go to her until while passing by her, she stopped me as she called: “Hey there!”; Had I heard right? Was it actually directed to me, I thought before turning slowly to her and she was smiling brightly looking at me; I zoned out gazing at her like that and by the next second she was bowing 90° to me. Stunned, I stood there without saying a word until she spoke out: “I am sorry for the trouble I gave you yesterday and I apologize for being loud” I thought to myself –Could she be trolling me or something? -- for awhile. “Ah…” I sounded a breath in reaction when Hana went by her side and said: “It’s fine! And this guy here is really hot-tempered but kind if you see through him! My name is Hana and this is JungKook, unfortunately my twin brother.” She proudly introduced me as well then headed inside with her completely ignoring me; I cracked a little smile and decided to follow along when suddenly I happened to recall a memory of 8 years ago when we first met Minah in Middle School. Back then, Hana and I had no friends mainly because the rest thought we were arrogant; so each time we’d stuck to each other and never befriend others until one day, Minah was an exchange student and like us, she had no friends to start with. She was the one to approach Hana and eventually became in our circle.

When I shifted my back from reminiscing the past, I noticed the boy who was with Yerin yesterday coming in, unlikely he didn’t even eye me and just passed me by. For some reasons, that guy doesn’t give a great impression and he seems introverted and reticent, he has that sensation of a mature adult in his eyes.

It was kind of odd to me but I decided to just keep on going and get through my parents death just like that, I was already too late to go to the funeral though. I didn’t feel as if I’d regret it yet I drew conclusion to forgive them for the time when they never even visited or called in months or years; for never watching me grow up and sharing my pain with me. The first thing I promised to do was to apologize to those I have to apologize to and thank whoever I had to thank because apparently time doesn’t wait for others eternally and I’m not supposed to leave without paying off my debt--That’s the only thing I would have said to my parents if I once had the time, a second or a minute before. The first one I got to meet that morning was the rude guy who helped me yesterday, I wasn’t even pleased to see him but I felt the urge to thank him; after all, he had saved me. He could have just ignored me the moment he bumped me with the car but he helped until the last second which made me resent the fact that I’ve blamed him and caused him disturbance with his parents whilst I had taught him manners just yesterday in front of everyone. But apparently, through that his sister --what was her name again? – Hana—appreciated that and tried to approach me as a friend. We went together inside to the class; the teacher wasn’t there yet so I took a seat in the first line, Hana sat next to me and asked “Do you feel better, yesterday you weren’t feeling that well” “Yes! It wasn’t that severe!” I replied awkwardly and she added: “Yes, nevertheless, Kookie shouldn’t have done that, it was so irresponsible” “Kookie?” I questioned. “It’s JungKook! You mustn’t tell anyone that I call him like that, he’ll be angry; so angry!” I chuckled hearing that. Evidently, I misinterpreted her personality and who knows maybe even JungKook. Just then Taeyong got in, I was anticipating his reaction when he sees me because after all, I had ignored him yesterday. As soon as he spotted me, he walked towards me and asked with a smile: “Do you feel better?” “Yes, Thanks to you-” I declared willing to thank him until he cut me off: “You don’t have to say it! I did what anyone else could have done if he had some humanity” I could tell he was pointing out to JungKook right away; I looked Hana’s way and her face showed signs of guiltiness and bitterness, somehow one could tell she was embarrassed of what she thought was her brother’s fault. I directly commented: “Yes! After all! Our country still has generous people, thanks to someone else I was able to survive yesterday too; even though we weren’t connected anyhow he welcomed me in his house and took care of me.”  

Taeyong probably didn’t get what I was alluding to so he didn’t say anything back whilst Hana stared in awe and I smiled to her. “Hi! I’m Hana, do you remember me?” She seemed more confident hearing what I said so she greeted him and he answered slightly taken aback: “Yes! I wasn’t able to introduce myself properly yesterday, I’m Taeyong” Right at that moment both Binnie and Jihyo got in, as usual, Jiho was loud enough to bring energy to the whole class as she walked towards us and greeted: “Hello world” “Good one Ms. Kim Jiho, now go sit” Just then the professor got in, he was a man in his 30s; and apparently he was the outgoing and fun type of a teacher. “That’s my cousin” Jiho commented in a mutter as she slothfully took a seat together with Binnie behind me, while Taeyong sat alone in the third row. The lecture started off when the teacher introduced himself: “Good morning everyone; I’m Professor Kim KiBum and I’m in charge of this module! I hope we’ll have a fun year” He neatly greeted and we replied with “yes” then he added after chattering his teeth at us: “You guys seem so soulless in this age; or is it that you’re not close yet?” We laughed slightly and he announced: “This can’t be! First of all…so that you get much closer; I’ll be giving you a project to do! ” “NO!!” Jiho yelled. “What is it? Don’t you like the idea?” “No…” “Really?” She nodded so he teasingly replied: “Ok! You’ll be in the same group with those 4 here, good luck” He said pointing at Hana, Taeyong, Binnie and me. Everyone else chuckled at her continuously and he continued: “For the rest, you’ll be divided in 4 groups of 5 according to your seats, any objection?” “Well… What is the theme?” Binnie asked this time so he answered: “I’ll write that in the board along with the group members and by the end of the lecture you can check it out”

2 hours of the lecture went by like that, then at the end; the whole class went to check the assigned subjects. For us, it was * * In short, we had to go study about some plants and write about it; Considering that, there weren’t much places we can visit for researches and it would be a harder fight to even get access to it. Thus, I breathed a sigh when Jiho whined continuously on our way out of class.

“What does it mean?” Hana questioned so Taeyong answered: “It means we’d have to take in account some kinds of plants and study it thoroughly” “So it’s easy” “The fun point is most of the plants stated are dangerous so they are rarely found everywhere” He added bluntly. I smiled: “How is that supposed to be a fun point? I see you are the adventurous type, aren’t you?” I joked and he responded with a nod; Binnie who was silent all along pointed out: “We should first assign a leader; it’ll be full of chaos-I mean the teamwork” “Taeyong will do well, don’t you think?” Hana suggested. “I also think-” Jiho was about to accept until Taeyong cut her off: “No! I disagree! Actually I’m really bad at leading, so-” “Then! I bet on Yerin! She’s the brain of our group as I see” Jiho added. “Huh? Me?- Wait, I-” “I’ve been in the same class as you in high school, I guess you wouldn’t have noticed though-” she continued and I was stunned by her statement because after all I was the center of bullying back in our school days, it’ll be absurd if someone in my class wouldn’t have noticed such a thing; but now come to think, she had approached me first with the excuse of assuming that I outstood in the orientation day. But, deep inside maybe, she wanted to change things; maybe she wanted me to escape the reality of being an outcast so she wanted to become friends with me. Bearing in my mind that she seems such a careless, good-for-nothing a person; there’s much more into her than that. Even Binnie who had been quiet all along, taking into account that she’s her best friend, she had known all along yet she never made it obvious that they lied about knowing nothing about me. Sunken in my thoughts, Hana distracted me as she asked: “Then- Where are we supposed to meet to discuss the process?” “That- Leader?” Jiho addressed me. I hesitated then replied: “Shouldn’t it be in the library?”  “Let’s go check first, but I bet we’ll be able to discuss freely in a library? We can’t be loud” Taeyong added. “Yes, you’re right!” Binnie hummed. “Then, how about we meet in my house, my parents won’t be around anyway this week and I’ll be alone with my brother” Hana recommended. “No!” Taeyong directly rejected. “Why? Do you still hold grudge against him for yesterday?” Hana straightforwardly declared. “That has nothing to do with it! Anyways, it’s lunch time; we can discuss that in the next period, alright?” He escaped the situation as we almost reached the cafeteria. “Should we eat together then?” Hana suggested. Taeyong hesitated: “I’ll pass!” “He’s probably shy because we’re all girls, right?” Jiho ; he cleared from embarrassment so Hana added: “Yes! In that case, let’s go first”.

School was sort of exhausting that day since I wasn’t yet adapted to lectures but I admit it was much more fun than high school, at least to me; maybe because I’ve finally got the chance to experience the university life surrounded by friends. I no longer had to hide, no longer had to be afraid while walking the hall. That day as I remember clearly, we were not able to get hold of Taeyong after the last course; so we decided to just discuss the project tomorrow.

That evening, when I came back home; YeJun wasn’t there yet. I breathed a sigh of fatigue as I mumbled to myself: “Should I call to ask for him?” then headed inside. I grabbed my phone as I lay in the bench of the sitting room; I dialed Yejun’s number and replied as soon as possible: “Rin ah?” “Hello! I mean--How are you doing?”  I stammered continuously and he laughed suddenly: “You shouldn’t be awkward; it will only make it worse, just act like you used to be” He said assuring me which made me smile of relief and asked: “Did everything go well with the funeral?” He paused for a while then responded with a hum: “Mm—Though I wished you would have come!” “When are you coming back to Korea?” “I’ll be there by tomorrow” He replied when I tried to change the topic. “How about Yesoh?” Suddenly, I remember her, she must have felt so lonely like I did; and I won’t blame her. She lost the only people she supposedly had in life; her life would change from that point on unlike me, who never had to rely on them.

“She’s fine! I believe, she’ll be alright! Don’t worry. Now I’ve got to hang up, take care” He directly hung up; I was able to hear the cry of Yesoh and that made feel guiltier as I only thought of myself then and ignored my siblings who were having a harder time.

Without realizing, I slept drown on my tears; and when I opened my eyes, it was already 9pm; I was feeling ravenously hungry since I had nothing besides the light food I had in lunch. After taking a quick shower, I headed to the kitchen slothfully, and when I checked the fridge, there weren’t any instant noodles left, I sighed then decided to make some egg custards with shrimp as I had all the ingredients for it. Usually, it’s Yejun who’s in charge of cooking so if I were to rate my cooking skills from 10 it would be 5(       ?) I started off by whisking together the eggs chicken stock, fish sauce and salt in a pot; Added enough boiling water to the pot, usually that’s the part I’m most confident in. I was next supposed to bring the water to a gentle simmer, cover the pot, and steam until the custards are slightly wobbly in the center, 6 to 7 minutes but my whole body started shivering, I felt my hands moving like jelly for some reasons as I was adding the boiling water and accidently dropped it, I slightly burnt my hands which irritated me even more. “Aish!” I expressed as I left everything as it was and exited the house; at least I didn’t forget to turn off the oven. I grabbed my black jacket with hoodies, that was somehow my most favorite to wear when I’m depressed with something; I had the habit to hide myself from others’ sight or rather from the truth.

Yerin walked her steps to the Han-River and sat in the ground with crossed legs seemingly lost and unstable emotionally, it was so late but there were few people, some riding their bikes and couples as well as families. The world before her was so bright and filled with stars unlike her heart. It was then when JungKook was passing by after riding his bike around the area when she caught his eyes, at first he didn’t recognize her so he was about to walk away; when the vanilla fragrance d him. He turned and took a closer look then directly perceived that it was actually her. He approached her carefully as he whispered to her: “Is it your favorite time to leave home and hide? What a weirdo!” She turned around frightened and sighed in relief when she saw it was him. “It’s not funny, you know?” She frowned and added: “How did you recognize me anyway?” “It’s easy; Vanilla?”  He answered right away but then felt it was a bit off, kind of cheesy when she blinked: “Is it?” “Of course not” He joked it off. “Do you usually come here?” She asked. “Yeah! I exercise here, how about you?” “Once in a while... I like to have a healing time in here” Yerin replied with a gloomy tone. JungKook noticed that and suggested: “In that case, I think I have a better place for healing time; I’m sure you’ll like it too”

Meanwhile, Taeyong finished his part-time job and was heading home after passing by a bakery to buy a cake for his mother’s birthday. He was too excited to surprise her with that. When he reached the house, his mother was in the kitchen busy preparing dinner for him. “Taeyongie! Are you back?” She asked when she heard the sound of the door closing so he replied: “Yes mom!” He then lit the candles and slowly walked to her trying not to make a sound then when he reached her he started singing the birthday song, and she was moved to tears. “You must blow them all” She hardly managed to blow the candles; he clapped to her and mentioned: “It’s sugar-free so you can have a bite” “Thank you, I’m lucky to have a son like you” She said as she hugged him and cried.

In the meantime, and after walking few miles; JungKook and Yerin reached a Karaoke. JungKook stopped walking and declared: “We’re here”, “A Karaoke?!” Yerin questioned in surprise. “Let’s go” He smiled as he brightly entered, they chose a room and proceeded to picking a song. “Do you usually come here?”. “I do whenever I want to have some time alone” He answered while going through the songs. “Em! Then I should be proud to be able to come here with you, don’t I?” She joked but he didn’t even react to that as he chose the song – Just by ZionT- As soon as he sang the first verse, Yerin was already immersed into the song; She didn’t the bit expect him to have such a voice. He sang each line with sincerity and emotions; Yerin just gazed in awe all along until the song finished, she clapped so hard for him as she commented: “You have such a great voice! In this rate you can even become a singer, have you ever considered that?” He gave her the remote as he uttered: “Your turn” She got pissed off: “How come you never answer any questions” then chose a song –Vineyard by OOHYO- and like that they spend the next hour covering songs excitedly. Then they sat in the bench “I think I’ll lose my voice by tomorrow” Yerin commented, whilst JungKook smiled as he drank water. He next spoke up: “To be honest; only until recently, being an idol was my goal. But since I always had high grades, my parents started expecting more and more from me. I once shared my dream with my mother; but each time she’d ignore that and try to convince me to quit it.” “I believe it’s all because she cared” Yerin told looking straight at him. “Sorry, that was a useless story” He looked away as he told.

“You really do remind me of *Hibiscus Mutabilis* somehow” Yerin said after a pause. “What is that?” JungKook asked curiously. “It’s a plant, the impressive thing about it is that it can change colors numerous times a day; that’s awesome, isn’t it?” She excitedly said as she turned to him; when he was holding a brow filled with question-marks as he asked: “And what is the main mutual thing about us?” “That- I think that you have different colors in your personality; you tend to be mean at times, but then turn out to be kind the other minute.” She described attentively. “You know what is the other surprising thing about it? In French, they call it *Caprice de femme* and there’s a French proverb that relates to that: * Souvent femme varie, Bien fol est qui s’y fie* which means that girls vary often and only the crazy relies upon it” She chuckled as she waited for his reaction. “Ya! So you’re comparing me to girl?” He got furious. “No! I never said that” She . He let out a sigh of peeve. “Thanks a lot for today- I had a lot of fun and it was the best way to let my emotions out” She said as she lent him her hand for a handshake. “I wanted to apologize for being rude last night! I’m sorry” He apologized and shook hands with her. “This time, you’re better at apologizing; I bet you got a moral from my lesson” She joked. “Let’s go now” He ignored that and walked off. She laughed at him as she told: “Wait up!"

author's note: