The darkest nights were the most restless; thunder rumbled in the distant clouds while the smell of rain promised a storm in the later hours, and Jinyu stood at the bow once more, looking down into the deep and feeling immensely confused. The sea waters stirred, as if it could sense her distress. Jinyu closed her eyes against the fury of the wind and tried her hardest to listen closely.

She wanted to hear the music of the ocean again, the deep chorus of the unseen parts of the world, and she wanted to know what she had to do in order to make everything right again. The wind bit its frosty teeth into the back of her neck, sending shivers down the column of her spine. Tonight was not going to be like other nights.

There was a thickness in the air, oppressive and damp, that clung to her lungs every time she breathed. Jinyu’s knuckles turned white as they gripped the railing of the yacht. She must have been standing out in the night for hours; everyone else had gone to their cabins to sleep.

But tonight was her last night on land, and sleep wouldn’t come to her. She came out onto the bow to see the ocean, and to beg for some kind of help. Jinyu doubled over and pressed her forehead to the cold metal of the railing. She could hear them again, the wistful echoes of female voices, carried across the sea on the same oppressive winds that stung her skin.

These were grieving voices, she thought. These were cries of help and desperation, wails of mourning.

Come home, they called. Jinyu swallowed back the bitter tears. She wished she could sing her pain back to them, but she’d lost the ability. Traded it in for a pair of pretty human legs and 365 days that had gone to waste.

Come home, golden one, the songs moaned. Jinyu closed her eyes against the haunting beauty of their voices, swallowing the pain that came with their songs. You know what you must do. You mustn’t turn into foam. Come home to us.

Jinyu looked down at the depths, swearing to herself that she could see ominous blue eyes looking up at her through the darkness. Ominous creatures with smooth heads and large eyes and tails not unlike her own. Come home they beckoned, and Jinyu slowly shook her head.

We’ve made a great sacrifice for you, they sang. Kill him, your beloved. Kill him and rejoin us.

Jinyu opened and let out a gasp as she shook her head again. There was a single, ringing noise in her ears, mixing with the haunting choir of mermaids and thunderclaps. Jinyu’s ragged breaths expressed her anguish over the decision. She shook her head again and again, swearing to herself and the wind and the sea that she could never kill Luhan. Even if he would never love her, she could never kill him.

The wind suddenly died down and the thunderclap stopped. The water was still, the stars veiled. Jinyu’s weak form shook at the sudden change in atmosphere. Slowly, she straightened her posture and looked out over the sea once more. The voices prevailed, continuously beckoning her home, calling for the completion of fate.

She wasn’t sure what had possessed her to do so, but Jinyu felt a cold chill to her left. And when turned to look, an ornate dagger had been laid on the flat surface of the bow. Curved, sharp, and as long as her hand, it was pointed in a certain angle. And when Jinyu followed its point, she found herself looking at the cabin area. More specifically, to the cabin where Luhan slept.

Jinyu gasped and moved away from the dagger. But when the thunder came back and its light hit the brilliance of the blade, fate pushed her towards it. Her heartbeat was set into a driving rhythm that rocked her entire core. A seeming trance washed over her, and she reached out and grabbed its handle.

Cold and heavy, Jinyu could feel the gravity of tonight pressing into her palms.

How does one go about killing? She’d seen it on television screens countless times during her stay on land: humans killing each other with knives, with weapons that spout thunder, and even with their bare hands. But Jinyu could not see where anyone could have the courage to commit anything.

Her bare feet carried her to the stairs that led to the cabin area. At the top of the steps, she looked down at her hands. These were siren hands, she thought to herself. These were the hands of a siren that protected others. Sirens guarded lives, they weren’t meant to take them. This truth was the very fiber of her being. And how does one go about defying their very identity?

Twenty-three steps. There were twenty-three steps on the staircase that led to the lower deck of the yacht. Jinyu had counted them, hoping that the activity would distract her. Her heart beat was so loud that her chest felt like it was continuously growing and then shrinking. Her stomach churned. She could feel herself becoming sick.

She tried to hold her breath to keep from whimpering and to keep herself from bursting into sobs as her feet brought her closer to her destiny. Jinyu held onto the knife tightly, her fingers turning pale and cold. Moonless nights used to be nights of celebration; she and her sisters would go to the surface to sing and play and listen to the elders recite the legends. But tonight, there was no singing. This moonless night was silent and frozen, every sound reducing into the deafening beats of her heart. Tonight was not a night for celebration or ceremony. Tonight meant the difference between life and death.

Her feet touched the cold hardwood and she felt like walking on glass. Arriving at the front of Luhan's cabin, she clenched her teeth and held the dagger close to heart. The click of the lock as she turned the knob sounded louder than the thunder in her muted world. Slowly, carefully, and full of regret, she entered the room. 

The air inside the room was thicker and warmer than it was outside. Jinyu thought she might suffocate in it. But the pull of the dagger was too strong, and against her better judgment, she found herself standing at the foot of Luhan's bed. Slwoly, she walked over to the side of it. She stood silently, listening to the sound of his breaths. Even, slow, measured. Jinyu tensed at the sound of it.

When the lightning struck again, Jinyu caught sight of his face. When he slept, he looked like an angel, like a slumbering Cupid and she felt like a traitorous Psyche betraying him. Jinyu slapped a hand over when the sobs threatened to break out. She closed her eyes and used one hand to raise the dagger above him, hovering over his chest.

This is your fate, she heard the songs again. Plunge it. Save yourself! You must come back to us, sister! Don't let our sacrifices go to waste!

Jinyu's grip on the dagger was as tight as death, but her arm faltered. The weapon felt like a curse in her fingers. Her heart beat drummed against her ribs. The ringing in her ears was as sharp as ever. Pure adrenaline coursed through her veins. Every cell in her body was telling her to do this, but her will wrestled with her instincts. Her eyes looked down at Luhan, carried off to the dream world, unaware of what was happening. Could she do it? Could she kill? Could she really kill her beloved?

Jinyu let out a low gasp and snatched her arm back. Her beloved? She looked down at Luhan once more and realized how utterly wrong this was. She shook her head in disbelief and felt the stinging threat of tears once more. No, Luhan wasn't her beloved. Luhan was... just a friend. Nothing more. Jinyu retreated backwards, suddenly terrifief of herself and what she'd almost done. No, her beloved wasn't Luhan at all. Even if she had the courage to do it, she'd have committed a wasted murder. Her true beloved was—

Jinyu gasped again when the back of heel suddenly hit something hard and she accidentally fell backwards onto another bed. 

"What the—?" said a groggy, slightly angry voice. Jinyu panicked and pushed herself off the bed. Her eyes wide, she turned and met Yixing's sleepy eyes. She'd absolutely forgotten that he and Luhan were sharing a room.

Recognition broke like a wave over Yixing's tired eyes. "Jinyu?" he whispered. His eyes darted from her to Luhan's sleeping form and then to the dagger in her hands before his eyes widened. Startled and panicked, Jinyu dropped the dagger to the floor with a clamor and then sprinted out of the room. Jinyu ran down the corridor until she reached her cabin. She twisted the knob and then slammed the door shut behind her, locking it. Once inside, Jinyu let herself become engulfed by the darkness. She leaned against the door and sunk to the floor, holding her head in her hands and sobbing violently.

This is it, she thought to herself. The end had finally come. There was absolutely no escaping it now. Jinyu pulled her knees to her chest and hugged herself. 

I've ruined everything, she thought.

There was a light knocking on the door suddenly, but Jinyu refused to move. 

"Jinyu?" said the voice on the other side, slightly muffled. "It's me, Yixing."

"Go away," she answered with a shaky voice. "I don't want to see you."

On the other side, her words startled Yixing; even if she was struck by the worst of moods, hearing her say it still hurt a little. But he pushed his offended feelings aside and focused on the matter at hand. Yixing pressed his hand against the door and somehow sensed that she had sunk down to the floor. He knelt down and knocked at the lower part of the door, and the sound was heavier; she was leaning against it, he guessed. 

"Jinyu," he whispered. "What's wrong?"

There was no answer, but he could hear her labored breathing, plagued by sobs. 

"Come on, open the door," he said softly. "Talk to me."

"I can't," Jinyu said, more to herself than to him. How could she tell him that she was about to stab Luhan with a knife but then realized that she was supposed to be killing him? Who would ever accept such a thing? 

Yixing frowned. He let out a short sigh. "Jinyu, you can tell me anything," he said. "If there's something you want to get off your chest... well, tonight's the last night. Open the door, let me in." Yixing paused a moment. "Please," he added.

Jinyu bit down on her lip to keep from crying again. But she felt so afraid and so confused and she had to admit to herself that the only times she'd ever really felt safe was when Yixing was with her. And he was right; if this was to be the last night on land, she didn't want to leave without seeing him one more time. Hesitantly, Jinyu stood up. Feeling the weight of the door suddenly shifting, Yixing thought she'd walked away. But as he stood, the door suddenly opened, and Yixing smiled even as Jinyu met him with red-rimmed eyes and a sad frown. He stepped into the room slowly, closing the door behind him.

Jinyu took cautious steps backward, putting some distance between them. She breathed heavily, both standing tense and awkwardly. Yixing waited patiently for her to speak first. 

"Start with the dagger," he whispered, and he outstretched his hand and let the dagger fall to the floor between them. Jinyu closed her eyes for a moment before beginning to explain. She told Yixing about what Luhan had said to her at the bow, and then explained about how her sisters had planned to save her and bring her back home only if she could kill her beloved. Yixing listened closely, afraid of what might have happened had she been further tempted. He took tenative steps toward her as she explained. Jinyu choked back a tear.

"I never had meant to let things get as far as this," she said. "You can't think that I seriously meant to kill anyone. I tried to kill the scientist at the lab, but I couldn't do it."

"Of course not," Yixing said. He wanted to hug her but he wasn't sure whether he should or not. "What counts is that you fought it and won."

Jinyu turned away sadly. "I thought long about this by myself," she said with a shaky voice. "I thought I was ready to face the consequences. But I realize that as brave as I want to be, I don't want to die."

She covered her face again. "I don't want to die," she repeated. Yixing reached out finally and took her by the shoulders. 

"I know you don't," he said. "No one ever does." 

"I'm a weak, wretched girl," Jinyu whispered. Yixing tilted her chin so she could look at him.

"You're the bravest girl I know," he said. "You knew what you had to do in order to escape death, but you chose to give Luhan his life instead. You rescued him from the wave once, then you refuse to kill him now. You rescued Mei from a falling beam, you refused to kill that scientist at the lab, and all this time you spent away from home, you wanted to protect your family. You're a protector. Having respect for life doesn't make you weak. It takes tremendous courage, Jinyu; choosing someone else over yourself."

Jinyu tried to smile but it was lost once more to a frown. "I didn't choose Luhan," she said between hiccups. "But that's why its so much worse than it is."

Yixing furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?" he asked. "If you'd killed him it would have overridden the spell, right?" 

Jinyu shook her head. "I had to kill the man I love," she whispered. "But I love you."

Yixing let his hands slide down to cup her elbows, his eyes glazing over at the announcement. Jinyu couldn't control her crying anymore, and she darted forward, wrapping her arms around his torso and burying her face in his shirt.

"You understand now, don't you," she asked, "Why I couldn't do it? Because it had to be Luhan or you; Luhan's love or your death, and I don't want either of them! This was a trap from the beginning and like a fool, I fell for it! I led you into a trap, and I'm sorry. And now it's too late. I love you, but it's too late. I realized too late." 

Yixing raised his arms and returned her embrace, but truthfully, he was still a little dazed just from hearing her say that she loved him, too, and he secretly hoped that she'd say it again just for him to hear. Jinyu's crying was staining through his shirt, and he could feel the heat of her tears against the skin on his shoulders. She was hugging him so tightly that breathing was a little hard to do, but he stood still and let her melt into him hoping that it was comfort enough for her. Death changed a person tremendously, and Jinyu only came to know her love for him when faced with the option of death: hers or his. To her, dying was inevitable, because after all, killing him simply wasn't an option. But Yixing held her close and thought about what she'd said. He chewed the inside of his lip and sighed.

"Just pretend it isn't me, then," he suddenly whispered in her ear. Jinyu opened her eyes and pulled away from him to look at his face with a puzzling expression.

"Pretend?" she said. "What are you talking about?"

Yixing bent down and picked up the dagger he'd dropped, and when he faced Jinyu again, she was shaking her head in mute refusal.

"No," Jinyu said.

"Jinyu," Yixing said. "You know that my heart has been yours from the beginning anyway." He approached her slowly and Jinyu backed up. He held onto her wrist and tried to hand her the dagger. 

"Don't be afraid," he said. "Even though our time together has been short, there's no doubt about how I feel about you. And... now that I know that you love me, too, well... that alone is enough for a whole lifetime. And if I've lived long enough to hear you say it, then that's enough for me. But you... you don't want to die, don't you? I don't want you to, either, you see. So go on, don't hesitate. If it's too painful just pretend I'm someone else or pretend that this is just... just some melodrama scene in a movie, anything."

"Stop it," Jinyu said bitterly. Yixing had put the dagger back into her hand and guided her to hold it over him, but Jinyu fought against his grip. "I'm not going to do it. I can't, and I won't. Not to you, not to anyone. This was all my fault, and no one else is going to suffer for it anymore."

"Don't you get it?" Yixing said. "My point is that I don't want you suffering alone."

Jinyu looked up at Yixing's eyes and held his gaze. Her pitiful tears were angry ones now. How could he? If he claimed to love her so much, why ask her to do something that would break her heart? Jinyu clenched her teeth and shook her head firmly.

"No," she said. Yixing stood still.

"What do you mean no?" he said. Jinyu smiled sadly at him and took her hand away from his, throwing the dagger aside again. 

"I mean no," she whispered. Jinyu walked forward and took Yixing's hand and watched his fingers wrapping around hers. "Do you really love me?" she asked.

Yixing squeezed her hands. "More than anything," he said. Jinyu lowered her eyes.

"You knew all along that I wasn't here to stay," she said. "Why did you start loving me? It was doomed from the start."

"Well, I don't really think I had much a choice," Yixing said, trying to smile. "It just came naturally to me. Like music. When you first came into my life, it was like discovering the first few notes of a new song, not exactly knowing what it's meant to be. But once I was swept up in the music, I caught sight of how beautiful it could be, and I had no choice but to follow it, right to the very end." 

Jinyu smiled at the analogy, and Yixing lifted a hand. He touched her face, and Jinyu and melted against the curve of his hand and let him pull her closer.

"You know the song I'm writing?" he said, and Jinyu nodded. "It's for you. I haven't written a song since Sa Rang broke up with me. I haven't played music in months. Then you came and turned everything upside down and brought out all these new problems and solutions. Made me feel all these things. And then, the music just came back. You make me feel... renewed. Stronger than I was before. There's hope in everything now."

Jinyu started to cry again, and Yixing used his thumb to brush away a tear. 

"Shh," he said quietly. "Don't cry. Not tonight, there's not enough time to be sad."

Jinyu tried to smile again but each time she tried to look at his face, tears came. She didn't deserve someone like Yixing. He deserved so much more than she could offer him.

"Do yourself a favor, Yixing," she said. "When this is all over, just pretend none of it ever happened. Forget me; find a new girl to love. A human girl who can give you everything you deserve. Not me, I'm trouble. You've seen so much of heartache, it's time you had a happy ending all to yourself."

Her words troubled him. "A happy ending for me," he said. "Won't be happy unless you're in it."

"You're not making this easy," she said. 

"We don't have much time left," he answered. "Don't make it easy. Make it count."

Yixing cradled her face and made her to look up at him once again. Once their eyes were meeting, Yixing closed the distance between their faces, pressing his lips against hers in a tender meeting between two souls. Jinyu held her breath at the first touch of his lips, but when his mouth began to move, she surrendered to it, letting go of all her inhibitions and returning his kiss with all the passion she'd wanted to give him earlier. Her hands instinctively rested at his waist while Yixing slanted his mouth against hers, pulling her in for a deeper connection. Jinyu felt the slight, tickling sensation of his tongue against the seam of .

He could feel her heartbeat in the places where his fingers touched the delicate skin on her neck, and for a moment he wondered if it was really her heartbeat he was touching or if it was his own. At this point, it didn't matter. Jinyu let out a soft mewl when his hands accidentally brushed against the stitches that her still behind her neck, and Yixing pulled away for a moment.

"Sorry, sorry," he whispered, but in the next moment, Jinyu had pulled him back down for another kiss. She felt a soft laugh in the back of his throat as her tongue parted his smile. Yixing held onto her waist, holding her against him as though she were a lifesaver. Jinyu felt her heartbeat once more turning into a drumming rhythm as she melted against his warmth, savoring his taste. There was a deep, guttural sound of pleasure coming from Yixing's throat, and the feel of it reverberated through her. A part of her wished she'd accepted his feelings much sooner; there would have been more kisses if she had. But if this was the last memory either of them would have of each other, then so be it. Though they couldn't make their moon stand still, they could make it run.

Jinyu pulled away softly, and Yixing rested his forehead against hers. "What's wrong?" he whispered. Jinyu shook her head.

"Nothing," she said, smiling despite the tears that still threatened to run. "I love you," she whispered. Yixing smiled, his heart swelling once more at the declaration. He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, and just as it was before, Jinyu's heart fluttered more at this contact than it had with the steamy session they'd just come out of. This kiss wasn't goodbye; this kiss was another promise... the promise that tonight wouldn't be the last time they saw each other. 

It was the break of dawn when Jinyu's eyes opened once more. There was a plae light that was beginning to shine through the windows. She sat up quickly, knowing that the time had come at last. Her heart was too full for bitterness now. There was only one thing left to do. She moved to the edge of the bed and swung her legs on the side. But before standing, she looked back. Yixing was still asleep on the other side, fully clothed and probably dreaming. They'd spent the night talking about the future, reminiscing about the past, and yes, kissing, a couple times throughout the hours. With a smile, she wondered if he was dreaming about her, and she wondered if perhaps she was dreaming as well.

She wanted to reach out and touch him, but then decided against it. This was how she wanted to remember him; at peace. She'd no longer trouble him with her demands or her silly spells. He'd be free.

Jinyu walked out of the cabin and onto the sun deck. The air was cold and the world was grey. No one was awake yet. When she looked over the shore, she pressed her lips into a straight line. She could tell that it was going to be a beautiful day, but she'd never see the rest of it. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to the bow once more and close her eyes against the cold, morning air. She was still scared; down in the pit of her stomach, she was terrified. But still, she slowly climbed over to the other side of the railing, and held on for a moment.

She thought about Yixing again, just one more time, mouthing his name before letting herself fall back into the sea. The frigid waters embraced her body, pulling her down slowly. When Jinyu opened her eyes, she saw the light of the morning sun peeking over the horizon, and tears could not be spilt under the sea. As in her dream, she felt her flesh bubbling away, turning into the white, transparent foam that lined the ocean's surface. She was withering away, her body turning into nothingness, just as her fragile mermaid soul would fade into nonexistence. A myth that children grew out of, soon enough.

When Jinyu's body had all but turned to foam, there was nothing left of the mermaid except a small golden ball of light: a siren's fragile soul. From the depths, a chill crept up, and the sea witch appeared, a sinister grin spread across her horrible face. Victorious, she reached out and folded her fingers over the small orb of light that was Jinyu's siren soul. Hers at last, now a siren forever.