He inhaled the fresh Spring breeze of Osaka, Japan.

Well, it wasn't really fresh, it was still polluted, but it was better than nothing.

Mingyu had slept throughout the flight and the ride to his hotel probably took about 20 minutes, though it felt shorter than that, because for the first time in years, he actually felt calm. No family, no people, no media. Nothing.

Mingyu turned of the air conditioning and slides open the cab window. The air outside was much more refreshing.

It was Spring alright, but the flowers were not blooming, probably to make Kim Mingyu more miserable, and it was already noon, but the mist in the air fogged up the window and the screen of his phone.

The Sakuras were not yet pink, but he can see the tip of the branches turning a light red. He touched his forehead, it was aching. He was dizzy from not eating the whole day. The flight food was spectacular, maybe it was because he was in first class but nevertheless it was still spectacular. Medium cooked beef topped with kimchi gravy and red wine on the side, but his stomach couldn't accept it, the first bite seemed heavy, it was like the fork was made from osmium.

He was definitely nervous on what to come after his death, and he actually questioned himself if he made the right decision, but he wanted to die, he really did.

He couldn't feel his fingers, or his knees for that matter. Mingyu was not sure if it was a good idea to die. Sure, he was suffering here but would it be worth it? Would he regret it? He didn't get to do stuff he wanted yet, skydiving, bungee jumping, camp out, or even find love. He shook his head at the never ending thoughts, and started walking to the hotel lobby.

The dusty rugs were pale red in colour, if people looked closely, they could actually see dust floating whenever someone walks on it, but the workers weren't really bothered. Even the wooden chair seemed so old that Mingyu was sure that if he sat on it, it would break in half, just causing more humiliation. Under the rugs, the floor was wood, too. So when people walked on it, there would be a horrible, annoying, creaking sound.

"Hello, I made a reservation online here this morning, my name is Kim Mingyu," he lifted his chin so the receptionist could hear better of what he said. She was talking on the phone, her hair was tighten into a bun, her uniform colour was fading, turning from what he believed was dark blue to a light one, she was about his age.

"Thank you Miss Adams I will call you back immediately," she sighed a really relieving sigh, and looked up to Mingyu's face.

"Kim Ming-," her words faded like her clothes. "I'm sorry for asking you such a personal and silly question but, could you be Kim Mingyu from Seventeen? As in Pledis Seventeen?" her eyes lit up and her smile was so wide that he could see her pink gum, it made Mingyu felt wanted when he managed to make someone smile, it made him happy.

"I am," he smiled back. "I mean I was," his smile turned to a frown. It was kind of depressing to think about Seventeen. They made so many memories, but it was all torn apart because of greed, the cause of this waa overall greed.

"Sorry," she lowered her voice. "I will check your reservations now," she turned towards the computer screen, her cheeks flushed a shy red. "No it's fine," Mingyu said, smiling once again. "I have reservations for Kim Mingyu for," she paused.

"For 3 months? Is that correct sir?" she asked in a shaking voice. From the way she talked to him, to her gestures, he could tell that she was a fan, a Carat, so he gave her the widest smile he could and nodded. "Your room is on the third floor number 374 here is your key," she spoke again. Mingyu intentionally took the key slowly so their hands would touch. "Kamsahamnida," he replied.

Then he walked towards the stairs, ignoring the elevator. Even from afar, he could hear the receptionist squealing. It was long ago since he had heard one, and he was glad that he did today.

It was such a hassle for him to get open the door. He did not have a good experience in unlocking. About 7 years ago, he spent an hour unlocking his and Lee Jihoon's luggage, two days before the MAMA Awards. Back when people cared about his existence, people still do, but it was not as exciting as before.

Room 376 was much bigger than others, well according to their website, at least. The bed was covered with a thin layer of white sheet and half of it was covered with a blanket that smelled like old sock. The tv was a flat screen but Mingyu didn't take any interest in it. The view outside was not as interesting either, but it was much better than the tv. Blooming Sakura trees were clearly seen, there were pink spots everywhere around Osaka. He unpacked and settled in before making his way back to the lobby for free internet.

Time seemed to go by slower when travelling alone. He usually travelled with the boys, Hansol woul be by his side most of the time because if he doesn't, he will probably get lost. Seungkwan cracking weird jokes, Jisoo teaching them how to pronounce stuff in English, and theres Wonwoo. There was not much to say about Wonwoo, except for the fact that he was the most beautiful human being he had ever seen, he had a heart of gold, his laughter was addicting. He was wrong, he had a lot to say about Wonwoo. They would have inside jokes, Mingyu would fix Wonwoo's hair, it was not even messy, he just wanted to find an excuse to stand as close as he can to him without being creepy.

Between the creaks of the elevator flooring, he swear he could hear a familiar voice standing outside of the door and when it opens, even under the fluorescent lightbub standing a meter away he knew who it was, his mind just couldn't fathom the fact that the person who he wasnt seeing was, the person.

He was wet from head to toe, and he was sniffing. Even in the blinking bulb which was the only source of light inside the lobby, the twinkle of sadistic amusement gleaming from his grin is distinct.

"Jeon Wonwoo," Mingyu half shouted, making the person to look up from wiping his nose. The tingling feeling in his stomach was enough for him to run towards Wonwoo and pick him up like in the telenovelas his mom used to watch, but he needed to control himself, so he clinged his hand in his pockets to pull himself back.

But Wonwoo didn't.