He felt a chill creeping up his arms but he didn't make a move to gain any warmth. Thoughts and memories fogged up his brain as the sound of an engine starting squeezed its way through.

He checked the time, the numbers he got from his car were a few minutes ahead but he figured it would be okay to leave out the math.

According to his car time, he had 20 minutes to get to his house which was only 10 minutes away. He figured he could drive around for a while to try and clear his mind. The cafe parking lot began to strangle him.

He couldn't stop thinking about Doyoon, and the amount of pain he must be feeling.

-

Seungcheol stuck his tongue out at his group of friends and left the kitchen station. He glared at them from afar, particularly at the new kid. They wanted to make him feel welcomed, having come from China and all. He wondered to himself why someone else couldn't have left. He was usually always there. He remembered Jeonghan pointing out that was exactly why he needed to leave.

In kindergarten, Jeonghan was always the 'mom' when they played and Seungcheol would be the 'dad' with Wonwoo as their 'son'. When Joshua moved to Tailka in the middle of first grade Jeonghan wanted him to play the father role. Seungcheol fought about it for a moment, he was older than both of them and it didn't make sense but Jeonghan stressed that they were just pretending anyway.

Seungcheol got a few other 'brothers' over the years. In second grade, Joshua and Jeonghan 'adopted' Hoshi and Jun into the family. Around the start of third grade, Seokmin came. The maximum number of people that could play in the home setting was reached, which now explains Seungcheol's situation.

He was kicked out of the play area, the new kid from China met Jun on the way to the daycare center and Jun demanded they were to let him play with them. The teacher overheard and told them the six-person rule still applied so someone had to leave.

Seungcheol looked around the daycare center. He didn't want to color, and if he painted he would get it on the shirt and he did not want to relive the time his mother saw the stain from his sandwich, he never had another grilled cheese in his lunch after that.

There were Legos but those were always hard to clean up, he obviously wasn't going to read or do his homework, it was boiling hot outside, blocks were the only answer.

He asked the daycare worker if he could go to the other room, they led him through two doors. There were beanbags and carpets, Seungcheol wished he took naps when he was still young enough for them.

There he saw Jihoon, whom he never knew stayed at the daycare. He smiled even though Jihoon didn't see him, he was in the far corner building something by himself. He made his way over after thanking the worker.

"H-Hi Jihoon," he stuttered. The other hummed but never looked at Seungcheol. He was trying to set a red cube over a blue rectangular prism so there would be no sides hanging over. He seemed to be concentrating hard.

"What are you trying to build?" The other shrugged, still focusing on the building blocks, he stacked all the foam ones before using the wooden ones.

"I think it'll make that-" The sentence was cut off by the sound of wood clanking together and Jihoon's whine. "Don't glare! I'm sorry for disturbing your focus, the blocks will keep falling if you put the wooden ones on top, though. You should put them on the bottom, like this." He cautiously reached for the wooden blocks, nothing stopped him from taking it. He set it up exactly how Jihoon did with the foam.

He observed the way Jihoon saw the sculpture. He seemed pleased with it, he brought his hand up and he sent an ask to Seungcheol, wondering if he could knock it down.

"Go ahead, it's your turn to build something." The blocks fell to the ground once again but this time on purpose. Seungcheol didn't say anything else to the younger, he just watched him figure out how to balance things out. He was able to help once in a while, holding parts of the bottom blocks so it would be more stable.

-

"Have you heard about the new kid?" Two chairs down from where Seungcheol was sitting, he heard his fellow classmates whisper. The class started a few minutes ago but the teacher hadn't entered the room yet.

"What new kid?"

"There's a new kid being transferred to Tailka. I heard he has this class."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"The girls have been talking about it."

"They gossip about everything-"

"Class, please take your proper seats and pay attention to the new student we have today. Would you like to introduce yourself?" Miss Lastina came through the door, crouching a little to ask the new boy the question. When they made their way to the front of the room Seungcheol made eye contact.

"My name is Jang Doyoon, I moved here from Noko Elementary and I'm the newest student at Tailka." The student smiled brightly at the rest of he classroom.

"You can sit next to Seungcheol. Seungcheol, please raise your hand."

Five fingers appeared into the air, catching the new kid's attention. Footsteps made their way toward those five fingers as they descended back to the pocket of a sweater.

"Nice to meet you Seungcheol."

"Nice to meet you too Doyoon, why'd you move?" He put the small notebook he was working in away.

"My parents like to travel, they said we'll be staying here for a while. I don't know how long. What were you writing?" Seungcheol blushed and mentally scolded himself for not being able to hide it fast enough.

"Just a letter." He successfully stored the supply away and got out the one for class.

"Was it a love letter?" Doyoon reached into Seungcheol's desk to retrieve the old notebook but his hand was harshly swatted away as if it were a fly nearing a piece of pizza. "Ow, I just wanted to see it."

"It's not for you!" Seungcheol made the statement clear by tightening his hold on Doyoon's wrist. It wasn't tight enough to hurt the other but it did scare him a little. They spent the rest of class in silence.

They were allowed to go to lunch and before Doyoon could get onto the playground a hand pulled him back. "Look I'm sorry for grabbing your things without permission. I just wanted to see what you were writing."

Doyoon didn't want to look into Seungcheol's eyes. The hand around his wrist left but neither of them made a move.

"No, I'm sorry. You're new and curious, I could have handled it differently. I usually don't act out like that but-" he stopped mid-sentence and dug through his pockets. "Please accept my apology." Seungcheol held a poorly torn out and folded sheet of notebook paper and handed it out to Doyoon.

"What's this?" Doyoon unfolded the sheet and smiled at the acrostic poem spelling out his name.

"J. Just because you reached for my personal things, I shouldn't have acted like that. A. After all, it was probably hard to move here right? N. Now I'm making this and I feel horrible because I'm pretty sure you hate me. G. Gee, I hope you know I really want to be friends and I hope you're not scared of me. D. Did you know you dress really nice? O. One more chance is all I need I'm really sorry for my horrible deed." He looked up at Seungcheol, amused with the only rhyme.

"Y. You don't have to. I know I did wrong and you have every right to hate me. O. Oh, I have a friend named Wonwoo that I usually hang out with and he doesn't talk much so if you forgive me and hang out with me then don't get scared of him, he's friendly. O. One day, I'll show you what's inside the notebook, I promise. N. Now, please tell me if you want to be my friend or not." He looked at Seungcheol, seemingly unamused with the ending of the letter.

Once Seungcheol but his lip, he broke out into a smile, laughing at his hearts content. "Yes, of course, I thought you were just having a bad day. I would have tried again tomorrow, if you didn't like me tomorrow, then the next day. You seemed lonely. I wasn't going to leave you like that." He tucked the note away into his backpack and held out his hand for Seungcheol to take. "Let's go to lunch, where does that Wonwoo guy usually wait for you?"

-

It was the second day of sixth grade, Seungcheol was walking towards the spot he and his friends agreed to hang out in. When he got to the spot and dropped his backpack near the tree Doyoon took his arm and asked him to follow him towards the hallway.

"Seungcheol, I know you like Jihoon, I know how much you like Jihoon, but I like you. I like you a lot really." He scratched his head, embarrassed even though no one was inside the bathroom.

"Are you asking me out? I'll say yes. I don't think anyone should be rejected, I've experienced it and I don't want you to feel that way." There was sincerity in his eyes, he truly cared about Doyoon's emotions, he liked Doyoon but he knew what kind of like Doyoon was talking about. The like he has towards the other is definitely different, but Doyoon doesn't need to know what rejection is.

"You're willing to go out with me even though you don't like me?" Doyoon looked offended in a way, he didn't want a fake relationship, he thought that confessing to Seungcheol would somehow cause his feelings to change about Jihoon and move towards him.

"I do like you, I care about you a lot. I promise I'll treat you like we are in an actual relationship. I really do want you to be happy." He took a step closer but the door to the bathroom opened. Wonwoo came to check up on them.

Paying no mind to the other, Doyoon finished the discussion, "I want to date you when you want to date me. I don't want to date you unless you're the one asking. I'll wait for you, I'll wait till then. Thank you, Seungcheol." He left the bathroom after giving a look towards Wonwoo.

Wonwoo sighed and watched Doyoon walk down the ramp before closing the door. "You know, we're only in sixth grade, we're too young to be thinking about things like this, too young to date. You shouldn't date a person just because you don't want them to be rejected."

"Wonwoo you don't know how it feels. I don't blame Doyoon for saying he'll wait, you know how long it's been since I've started waiting for Jihoon and I'm not going to stop waiting anytime soon. I can love Jihoon while taking care of other people. It might not make sense to you, but I know what I'm doing." He put his hand on the shoulder of his best friend before exiting the bathroom as well.

-

Back in the car Seungcheol finally set it into reverse. He exhaled through his mouth louder than he usually would and inhaled in broken breaths. He was mad at himself and wondered why he was like how he was. He wondered why he had to fall in love with Jihoon. Most of all, he wondered why he couldn't keep everyone happy even if he never rejected them.

He hit every red light, it was calming, in a way, Jihoon was at Friday Frenzy right? So he wouldn't be waiting right at the moment, maybe he could catch the other while he was entering his apartment.

There was a ding coming from his phone, his heart rate sped up faster than he could set the car into park again. He searched for the source of the chime, the message was telling him that Jihoon went home early but he could take his time. Just remember to knock instead of ringing the doorbell because his parents might be sleeping.

-

"Seungcheol when are you going to shut up about Jihoon?" Doyoon was already bored with the topic for the day, it's been the same topic for weeks. Today Seungcheol was talking about how he was able to see Jihoon at lunch this year because he had the second schedule but now he'll be leaving and he swore he was willing to get held back a grade if his mother lets him.

"What? Doyoon I thought you said you were okay with it." Seungcheol sat down next to the other on the couch which caused the other to lay on their side and rest their head on the plush armrest.

"I was." Doyoon sighed and to his back, trapping Seungcheol with his feet. "I was until..." He ran his fingers through his hair, covering his eyes with his arm, he couldn't face Seungcheol, he was ashamed of himself for feeling this way.

"If you don't want me to talk to you about Jihoon you could have always told me, I would have been glad as long as you're happy." Seungcheol tapped his fingers on the bare kneecaps uncovered by Doyoon's jeans.

"That's exactly what frustrates me." Doyoon let his arms fall, he felt the tips of his fingers brush against a shoulder and apologized if he had hurt him.

"You didn't hurt me. I'm frustrating you because I care about you?" Seungcheol's fingers stopped and he looked at Doyoon while the other looked at him.

"You met Jihoon when you were, what, five?" He waved his hands around, acting as if it made everything make more sense.

"Jihoon was three, I was four." Seungcheol corrected. Legs swung off of his and feet met the carpet, Seungcheol had to scoot away a little so Doyoon could sit comfortably.

"Okay, you were four, now you're fifteen. That was nine years ago. When was the last time you spoke to him?"

"You mean like, he responded back to me?"

"Yes, you had a conversation. The whole, you were talking to him and he was talking back to you ordeal. When was the last time you did that with him?"

"... When he was three and I was four." Seungcheol felt ashamed after admitting it, he was beginning to feel a little foolish for his actions.

"Wait really? I thought you were talking to him even after that? Not even text?" Doyoon stood up and walked across the room, fingers threaded through his hair. "Seungcheol this is even worse than I thought it would be."

"What do you mean? I don't think there's anything wrong with me liking Jihoon, there are things that you don't know about him. He's a secretive person so you wouldn't know him the way I know him." Seungcheol stood as well, fist clenching at his sides. He wondered what caused Doyoon to act this way.

Doyoon was acting as if Jihoon was planning a murder on Seungcheol, like Jihoon was out to get him but he knows Jihoon isn't like that. Jihoon's a shy person with high standards of what has to be done. He's hard on himself and overthinks everything which leads him to become insecure.

"How do you 'know' him Seungcheol?" Air quotes were being used and it added fuel to the rage bubbling up inside Seungcheol. "You just told me that the last time you had an actual conversation with the guy was when you were four. How do you even remember that early in your life? If you don't have conversations with people how do you know what they are like? What they are thinking? How they take in something? How do you know all of these things Seungcheol?"

Doyoon's hands were flying around his head, around his body, and down to his sides. He let out his frustrations through his questions and probing, he wanted Seungcheol to feel just how irritating it all was. "Why won't you just love me? You met Jihoon before you met me, I get that, but Seungcheol you've only had a real conversation with him when you were four. You've been talking to me, every day, since the day I moved in fifth grade."

The statement made Seungcheol soften, he suddenly knew how Doyoon felt, ignored and helpless like he wanted to let go but something just held him back. "I do care about you Doyoon, I want you to be happy. Just ask me out and I'll be your boyfriend."

"See this, this is why I like you so much. When you say that," he made a swatting motion without actually hitting anything, "When you say stuff like that and it feels like it'll come true but I know, Seungcheol everyone knows, that when you say you love them, it's different from what you really mean."

"What are you trying to say?"

"What I'm trying to say is, you don't romantically love me. You romantically love Jihoon. Your heart basically belongs to Jihoon. Jihoon only. That's why I can't ask you out right now. Maybe I'll reach my breaking point, I don't know when that will happen but I doubt it'll be soon." By this time, Doyoon's tears fell and spread across his cheeks from failed prevention.

Seungcheol stayed quiet for a while, thinking over everything Doyoon said, he questioned his logic, what he was doing. He knew he would never be able to ask someone out when he loved Jihoon, but he also knew he could never reject someone knowing how it felt.

"Doyoon I-" He looked at his friend, they were promoting out of middle school and they were becoming freshman in the next year. There were always sayings about how high school changes you and how they are the best four years of your life but Seungcheol wondered if they were really going to be the best if they're ending this year on a bad foot.

"Seungcheol just get out... I'll see you... I'll see you." Doyoon opened the door to let Seungcheol out.

-

He cursed as he hit yet another red light. He just wanted to get home so he could finally talk to Jihoon again. Sure he's seen the other around and greeted him with a smile but the shorter boy never replied. Seungcheol learned to be content with it, as long as Jihoon knew Seungcheol was always going to be there.

He smiled at his own actions and excitement to see Jihoon. Guilt from his fight with Doyoon still lingered but as he got closer and closer to Jihoon's requested destination he couldn't help but feel giddy. Right as the light turned green he stomped onto the gas pedal and sped off.

He didn't know there was a speeder going down the right lane until it crashed into the back of his car. He lurched to the left and felt the impact of the glass window, his vision blurred for a moment and he blinked, trying to focus on not letting his car tip over. Something was dripping down the side of his face, he was sure it had to be blood but he ignored it. Just as he tried to grab the wheel again the airbag let out and sent his chest and body rushing towards the back of his seat.

His head met the seat rest harder than he wanted it to and it was suddenly very hard to keep his eyes open. The searing pain running along every surface of his head and emanating from the open wound on the left side made him hiss. He took deep breaths, trying to focus on something other than the pain. The world was spinning and Seungcheol tried his best to relax.

He didn't know how long it had been since he's been resting, there were sirens and people talking. His eyes weren't open but he could see the flashing light from behind his eyelids. Rolling his head to the side he pleaded for someone help, several people came rushing toward him.

"He's alive! Get him out and check any injuries quickly." A calm commanding voice instructed the paramedics. Seungcheol felt for the button that unlocked all his doors. He felt the pain in his head come back in a tenfold and screamed in pain.

"The door..." he panted, grunting in pain with every word. "Unlocked." The door swung open and the weight of his arm pulled him down as it fell. The sudden movement caused him to scream again.

"Sir, please relax, we'll get you out of here. The movements will be painful but we're bringing you to the hospital to get treated. If you understood and heard me squeeze my hand twice." He tightened around the hand set in his twice, glad they weren't making him talk.

With shallow breaths, he groaned every time they shifted him onto the straight board. "It hurts." He said although he was sure they already knew that, admitting it made the pain slightly more bearable.

No one replied to him as he said it several more times, he felt them lift him up and set them onto the stretcher. "It hurts so much."

"Sir, what is the number lock on your phone?" They asked him inside the ambulance vehicle.

"Phone..." Seungcheol got drowsy once the vehicle started moving.

"Sir please stay awake, can you tell us your phone password so we can get your relatives to the hospital faster?"

"One..." He thought for a moment, the person in the car with him repeated the number back, "One... Two... Two." They nodded.

"Sir we are going to take the lock off your phone, we think you might have lost your memory. Please show a sign you understood." Seungcheol let out a grunt and began to breathe slower.

"Sir does anything but your head hurt?" Seungcheol put his thumb up and tried to say his shoulders but it was getting harder and harder to stay awake." The constant calls became farther and farther away as he drifted into dreamland.

-

There was a commercial on the television, one both Seungcheol, and Jihoon knew by heart at a young age.   Although neither of them could pronounce the words perfectly right, they knew how it sounded and that's all that mattered to them. They laughed together and ate the snacks provided.

Seungcheol saw the way Jihoon's eyes lit up at the melody and rhythm, Seungcheol looked down at the now empty bag of Funyun rings and reached for Jihoon's. Thinking the other wouldn't notice since he was so entertained by the commercial.

Jihoon saw him, though, and moved his bag of chips away from the older four-year-old. "No." Seungcheol lunged for the fried treats, making them spill all over.

Jihoon attacked him, hitting his chest over and over, the little fit didn't stop at the punching. When he saw the mess again he screamed even louder than before. Seungcheol panicked, realizing what he did wrong and he began to cry with Jihoon.

Their parents came in, asking why they were upset. Both the boys pointed towards the mess of chips, making even louder sobs. They quieted the two children. Jihoon went home and Seungcheol's mom consulted him about what happened and why he should have just asked.

-

Seungcheol woke up from his dream when he heard someone trying to hold in their sobs. He cracked an eye open but closed it just as fast. Pain spread from his eyes to the rest of his head and he groaned.

He could faintly hear a gasp and many people standing up, he tried opening his eyes again to see who it was.

From the second brief moment he opened his eyes he was able to see the end of his bed surrounded by many people, he couldn't get their faces but he had a feeling about who they all were.

His mother's voice was the first one he heard after fully waking up. "Seungcheol are you awake? If it hurts too much to talk, move your toes to let us know you can hear us." There were tears in her voice he could tell. He wanted to tell her so it wouldn't seem that big of a deal but the sounds already seemed louder than they actually were.

Thankfully, moving his toes weren't so hard and the pain was bearable. "Seungcheol do you want us to press the buttons for your pain killers?" Another voice in the room spoke up, Seungcheol guessed it was the nurse, he didn't recognize the voice.

"The doctor will be in here any second so it's best he takes the medicine to able to answer all the questions. The doctor is going to ask you to leave. As I've said before, we believe Seungcheol received slight memory loss. We will just ask questions regarding his memory."

Seungcheol opened his eye for the third time and forced himself to keep them open so they would adjust faster. It was easier than how it was before, the medicine was fast. All his friends were there, and his parents. He felt someone was still missing, maybe he did lose part if his memory. He knew all their names, though.

A knock came from the door and all heads turned towards the entering doctor with respect. His eyes went to Seungcheol before he introduced himself.

"Hello, my name is Doctor Nome, I specialize in neurology and sicknesses that have to do with it. If you could all just leave for a moment so I can ask Seungcheol here some questions regarding his memory." He stepped aside so the doorway was no longer blocked. They filed out, Seungcheol watched them with steady eyes trying to figure out what was upsetting him.

"Are you comfortable? Do you want to change your position or have any questions for me?" He sat down in a chair and scooted over to Seungcheol so his neck wouldn't be too strained.

"Was there anyone that came into the room but left? Or anyone that wanted to see me but couldn't?" The doctor thought about all the people leaving the room, there were several of them so it took him a while but he didn't recall someone leaving before he had woken up.

"No, there weren't any people like that, everyone that came in only left when I requested them to. Do you have any more questions for me before I begin my own questionnaire?"

"No sir." Seungcheol shook his head. He decided he wasn't going to do that again because even with the medicine it hurt to move his head the slightest.

"You hit your head on the left side?"

"Yes, sir."

"Did anyone from before seem unfamiliar?"

"No sir, I know all of their names."

"Before the crash, have you ever experienced times where you are able to remember days perfectly as if you were reliving them?"

"Yes sir," he paused and took a breath, the doctor waited patiently for whatever he prepared to say. "I've researched before, I was worried because I knew it wasn't normal. Do you think I have hyperthymesia?"

Doctor Nome smiled a bit and nodded. "Yes, I do think that you have hyperthymesia. Usually, it takes a while for people to remember their loved one's names and you told me you were able to recognize all of them?"

"Yes, sir. I know all of their names, I'm positive."

"We are sure you lost your memory, the hit you took to your head was not something that would leave just a scar, it was bound to do something to your brain. When we did a scan we saw there was a part of your brain that was larger than other parts. Do you remember where you were going last night and do you remember why?"

"I was going home... I think it was because my friend wanted to talk to me so I was in a rush. I didn't run a red light, I promise. Then the other car hit me and the ambulance came."

"You seemed to have gotten it all right. Besides the fact your head will be hurting, I think you will be fine. You'll just be remembering things like others will. Kind of like you lost your hyperthymesia."

"Am I getting it back?"

"Unsure for now. It's a fifty-fifty chance but I don't think you have to worry about it."

Seungcheol blinked when there was a sudden pain in the left side of his head. "You're sure I had hyperthymesia? I thought that when people diagnose themselves it's usually wrong because if you had the right if mind to diagnose it then you don't have it."

"That's still a rumor. You can think you have depression, get checked, and have depression. It's one if the ways you can get help, by admitting it. The worst outcome of hyperthymesia is the fact those who have it remember even the saddest events in their life and that can alter everything they do. Since you didn't wake up screaming for someone to get out when you saw them, I think you're fine."

"Thank you." Seungcheol gave a small smile which the doctor returned gratefully.

"I'll be letting everyone in now, do you think you will be able to withstand loud noises? Some of them have been loud."

Seungcheol let out a little chuckle, picturing Soonyoung and Seokmin together, pain sparked through the left side of his head again but he nodded.

The door opened and the stampede came in, all asking him questions of their own. His parents shushed the group of friends and got all of them to take turns.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" He had the urge to roll his eyes at his mother but he resisted.

"Nothing too bad, just my head, neck, and shoulders. The medicine is making it tolerable." A soft buzzing sound came from beneath him and he looked to Jisoo to see what he was up to.

"Doesn't it strain your neck when you're trying to talk to us? I'm just elevating your head a bit." The buzzing continued for a while and Wonwoo asked what happened before the crash.

"I didn't run a red light, and I wasn't drunk, but I think the person that crashed into me was. I was going home, I think Doyoon and I had a fight?" The night before was a bit hazy, usually, it would just come to him but he had trouble remembering now.

"Doyoon and you had a fight?" Jeonghan was the next one to ask a question. By the time he asked Jisoo was at his side again, finished helping Seungcheol with the bed.

"Yeah, I forgot what it was about, I'll have to apologize once I see him again. Thanks, Jisoo." He leaned his head back against the pillows, much more comfortable than before. He saw Jisoo smile and Wonwoo make a face. He was about to comment about it but the door opened.

All head turned to see Doyoon, tears tracks were being traced with new tears once he saw Seungcheol's condition.

"It's a lot worse than it looks you know," Seungcheol grinned, making Doyoon put on a bittersweet smile and let out a small sobbing noise.

"I'm sorry," Doyoon said, walking up to the injured man, "I'm so sorry if only I had stayed longer and tried to solve it maybe you wouldn't have gotten hit and-"

"Doyoon take a deep breath. I'm still alive, my head hurts like hell and my shoulders aren't comfortable either but I'm alive. It wasn't your fault, neither of us knew that guy was going to be running the red light, calm down."

"When is he getting released?" Joshua spoke up, asking for the people also wondering.

"Next Monday depending on how great his pain is. At most two weeks, it shouldn't be longer than that."