It’s him.

Just ignore him, Sunggyu concluded. He turned his attention back to the shelf, shutting his eyes tightly as he yawned. It’s not really him. It can’t be. I'm just dreaming, Sunggyu reasoned and pulled off a book once his eyes were open again. He opened it up and his fingers worked through it. The sound of the pages flipping calmed him down even though he wasn’t looking for anything in particular in the book. It was a familiar sound though, grounding himself in reality. But he’d feel more comfortable now if he had something more than just a book in his hands, like the guitar or his crutches, both of which were at Kate’s place. Sunggyu winced prematurely at the thought of using his bum ankle (with only a brace to support it) to run. But maybe he wouldn't have to. Sunggyu closed his eyes again and concentrated on the sound of the pages rustling against each other and the feel of paper in his hands. He took in a deep breath, trying to find his reason again. He can’t be here. Why would he be? It’s daytime. Sunggyu lifted his eyes, peering through the shelves. He caught a glimpse of someone on the other side. And there are people around. It’d be too risky, even for him.

Sunggyu snapped the book closed and clutched it in his hands, as he hazarded a glance over towards the end of the aisle. “Ah,” he gasped softly, fumbling with the book in his hand. He’d nearly dropped it when he noticed that the man in black had crept up on him unawares. They were nearly standing side-by-side now. ! He’s actually here!

One step, two step, Sunggyu backed away from the shelf and down the aisle the opposite way. His pace picked up as he hobbled along. He didn’t want to make it obvious that he was running away, or that he’d noticed the man. It didn’t seem like the attacker would make a move. He was just observing Sunggyu for now (and who knows for how long he had been, at least all morning). However, Sunggyu wasn’t about to put down of the hardbound book in his hands just in case things took a turn for the worse.

Also the faster that Sunggyu led the both of them out of the stacks and out into the main study area, the safer he’d be. Surely nothing would happen then. Sunggyu smirked, but it fell half a second later.

!

Except for the fact that in his panic, Sunggyu had started walking the wrong way. Now he was walking deeper and deeper into the stacks. And he wasn’t exactly in the position to turn around and change directions. I’d run into him and then...I don’t know. I don’t want to find out. Sunggyu had to throw together a new plan. What now? His eyes zipped all around, searching. Then he saw red. That’s it! There was an emergency exit, at the end of this aisle. Sunggyu stopped in his tracks. The corners of his mouth quirked up, when he caught sight of it. He then coughed and wiped his mouth, along with the small smile he had. Even that gave too much away.

Before Sunggyu started down the aisle, he continued coughing and glanced behind him, for the attacker. And that glance turned into a full on look. There was no one behind him. Sunggyu turned fully and squinted, scanning for any trace of the man. Did he give up? He could hardly believe it, but that appeared to be the case. Should I just go back now? Sunggyu started, taking a step forward, and stopped again. He spun around the other way. No one was down that way either. Sunggyu rubbed the back of his neck. Was it all in my head?

Even though the attacker was nowhere in sight, Sunggyu couldn’t shake off the feeling of his presence, which made his skin crawl. His fingers brushed against the goosebumps and raised hair on the back of his neck. When he removed his hand from his neck to push his bangs away from his face, it was damp with sweat. No, I still need to get out of here. He wouldn’t feel better until he out of this damned building. So Sunggyu was going to stick with the plan and leave through that exit. He took a step back and began to go down the aisle. I’ll go out that door and then down the stairs. I’ll get out. But...what if the feeling doesn’t leave? What then? He could think of only one thing to do, only of one face. Maybe that’ll help.

“So you did notice me.”

Sunggyu stopped abruptly. His skin wasn’t crawling anymore; it was sprinting, breaking out in a sweat. A shiver wracked through his body. But his limbs were frozen, rigid. Yet he was able to break through it, craning his neck back to look behind him, bit by bit.

The man dressed in black was there, shoulders jostling up and down as he chuckled with a raspy voice. The bleach blonde hair hung limply down, covering his eyes. In the daylight, it looked strange, synthetic. A wig. The man pulled a book from off the shelf. One bigger and heavier than the one Sunggyu had.

Sunggyu whipped his head back around and tried to walk down the aisle again, but the man cut him off.

“Why are you pretending not to notice me, hm?” he asked and took a step closer. Sunggyu continued pretending. The man was trying to intimidate him. But he couldn’t if Sunggyu didn’t notice him. So Sunggyu turned towards the books, now acting as if he was looking for something (other than a reason for not making eye-contact). “Are you that scared?” the attacker asked. Yes, Sunggyu answered in his head and then grabbed another book, one that was bigger than his.

“Do you really think I'll just go away?” the man was hissing in his ears now. Won’t you?

“No,” the attacker raised his voice but it was still a whisper as to not attract attention. He began chuckling again, derisively. “Your sins, Kim Sunggyu, they’ll follow you into the afterlife and so will I. You can't run away.” He then shoved Sunggyu at his shoulder, trying to get the student to turn and face him. “ing with men? Inappropriate relationship with a minor? And now worshipping false icons?” With every accusation, he shoved Sunggyu harder and harder, until Sunggyu did turn around, facing him. Sunggyu screwed his eyes, looking at the other. False...icons? The attacker flicked at the pin on Sunggyu’s chest, the one of St. Christopher. That small pin had offended the man so much. The attacker sneered at it and tore it off. Sunggyu watched it clink onto the floor, wobbling before it settled, but instead of looking back at the man, seeming scared, Sunggyu just sighed and turned back to the shelves. When he did, the shelves suddenly shook. The attacker flung himself against them, trying to take Sunggyu off-guard and to catch his eyes. Unfortunately for him, I have small eyes, Sunggyu smirked at that thought. “It's like you want to go to Hell. I’ll help,” so the man in black tried to get to Sunggyu with his growled words.

If I’m going there, I’m taking you with me. And I’m not the only one who’s afraid, Sunggyu wanted to spit back but he held it back on his tongue. The attacker had touched him, yes, roughed him up a little, but nothing more. His voice was doing the ‘hitting’ for now. If the criminal had a knife or anything of the sort, he would've pulled it out and used it on Sunggyu long before now. Why hadn't he? The criminal was too afraid of witnesses, even this far deep into the stacks. The library was still a crowded, albeit quite place. With one shout from Sunggyu, someone would come. Someone would come and see the criminal. Or the attacker would flee before that someone came. No, Sunggyu wouldn't even have to shout. Eventually, someone would come across the two of them, just by chance, and the attacker would probably leave for fear of rousing suspicious. Sunggyu’s smile broadened. For once, he actually felt safe.

“Smiling? Why?” the man hissed. Sunggyu’s smile cracked wider. He liked getting underneath the other’s skin for once. The attacker was obviously irritated. He couldn't attack nor could he get a rise out of Sunggyu. Now Sunggyu not only felt safe, but he felt like he had the upper hand. He felt powerful. Maybe I can...that thought was cut off. “Oh, is it because your boyfriend is here?”

Sunggyu’s mouth snapped shut. What? Sunggyu’s eyes wavered. What is he talking about?

“Woohyun!” Sunggyu finally spoke, in a low but agitated whisper, when he caught sight of the boy through the shelves. Woohyun was in the next aisle, pushing a cart and putting books back onto the shelves. And he jumped when he heard his name. His head was swinging back and forth, looking for the source of the sound. Hair swishing back and forth. But then Woohyun stopped when found Sunggyu’s eyes peering over the books. And Sunggyu watched his friends’ eyes grow from small, confused to wide with fright, when Woohyun’s gaze traveled over to the pair of eyes next to Sunggyu.

Which were only focused on Sunggyu. “So you can hear me. Then why are you ignoring me?” the attacker growled. He shook the book shelf. Sunggyu stayed still, his gaze fixed on Woohyun who was now looking back at him. He was trembling. Woohyun…“WHY?!” the attacked shouted again, ripping books off of the shelves, trying to get Sunggyu’s attention.

That shout made Woohyun snap up straight and regain his senses. “Sunggyu!”

And before Sunggyu could shout “Run!” Woohyun had already broken out into a sprint. Sunggyu did too. He threw the books behind him and took off.

There was only one way for Sunggyu to go: back the way he came, the opposite direction of the attacker and the exit. He nearly crashed into Woohyun at the end of the aisle. Woohyun was the one to dodge him, swerving himself and the cart to the side. And Sunggyu kept running forward, even though his ankle felt like breaking. He pushed himself, and pushed himself off of the walls to propel himself forward. There was another exit at the very end of the floor. He’d have to pass many, many more shelves and some study tables, which meant many many people would see him running crazily with a limp through the library. But that was exactly what he needed now, for people to see him.

There was a crash behind him. And Sunggyu kept moving forward. Not wasting the time to look behind him. Woohyun must've pushed the book cart into the guy, knocking the cart over (and hopefully the guy too). Seconds later, Woohyun was at his side. That wasn't good. If Woohyun could catch up to him easily, that man could too. Sunggyu tried to go faster, practically hopping forward. With every step, the pain grew. I can't keep this up. I can't…

Woohyun quickly slithered under Sunggyu’s arm, wrapping it around his shoulder and holding onto his forearm. Honestly, it wasn't very helpful. They slowed down. But Sunggyu had a feeling that Woohyun was fully prepared to drag him away from the attacker if he needed to.

Like that, they passed the stacks and the study tables. Lord knows if anyone saw them. Their eyes were fixed on that door.

They reached it and stumbled down the stairs after nearly slipping down a step. It was good that they did. When Sunggyu grabbed the wall for support, he felt something else: a fire alarm. He pulled it. The alarm started blaring as they scrambled down the last steps and out of the door.

Right outside of the exit was a large bush, and they dove behind it. Well, Woohyun pushed Sunggyu into the bush and then he fell on top of him. He was in so much pain, but he couldn't be bothered with that now. They were both squatting behind the bush now. Woohyun was clinging to his back. And the both of them were looking the opposite direction of the door, with their eyes shut tightly. For a few seconds, they strained their ears, listening past the alarm. Sunggyu could only hear Woohyun’s heart thumping wildly (and his own even more so). But then the back door creaked open.

“Is there a fire? Why did the alarm go off?”

“I don't know. Beats me.”

“Ugh! I'm all wet now!”

“Yea the sprinklers went off so it had to be something, right?”

“It was me. I'm so hot that they thought the building was on fire.”

“Ugh, shut up!”

Students were pouring out of the exit now. Sunggyu peeled his eyes open and peered through the bushes. The students, slightly wet, were all looking back up at the library, searching for any trace of a fire. There was none, but Sunggyu still felt like flames were the back of his neck. Something wasn’t right. There was one person who wasn’t watching the building. The man in black searched the crowd, for the two that got away. He pulled up his cap to get a better look, and the wig shifted. Sunggyu screwed his eyes shut again and curled up into a tight ball. He was whispering a prayer underneath his breath, fervently, praying to every god that he could think of and whatever of Kate’s saints that could get him out of this situation.

What made him stop was that he felt the weight shifting off of his back. “Sunggyu,” Woohyun whispered softly. The leaves rustled as Woohyun shifted and moved away from the other. But Sunggyu still wouldn’t open his eyes. He shook his head and curled up more tightly. Now only a hand laid on his back, not moving. It seemed only to be there to show that Woohyun hadn’t left him. “Sunggyu, he’s gone now. It’s alright.”

“R-really,” Sunggyu stuttered, no louder than the leaves.

“Really.” Woohyun’s hand moved up and down his back. “It’s okay now. It’s okay. You can relax.”

Sunggyu scoffed at that. Relax? Sunggyu could barely breathe properly now, but in spite of that, he was laughing softly, until he started coughing because he wasn’t getting enough air. Woohyun’s hand fell away from his back, as if that was what was making his friend cough. Sunggyu continued coughing and laughing until he unfurled and scooted back to lean against the wall. Woohyun followed him and pressed his back against the wall too. But he was watching Sunggyu curiously, unsure of what to do. Now Sunggyu knocked the back of his head back against the wall and let out a deep breath, not making eye contact with the other. He wasn’t sure of what to do either.

So Woohyun tried talking, which they both did best: “I can't believe he came here. I can't  believe he came here to find you.” Sunggyu whined. He really didn’t want to talk about it, but Woohyun didn’t pick up on the hint (or cared to) because he continued, “Why? You’re not the only gay in Seoul.”

“I don’t know,” Sunggyu grumbled out an answer. He’d hope that that answer would put the matter to rest, but then he himself was awake to that question. He could not lay it back down as it harassed him. Why? Why me? Sunggyu pulled at the strings of his hoodie. Maybe because I got away. No, no, there has to be more to it. Sunggyu tucked his lip into his mouth as he thought back (even though he didn’t want to) to earlier, when the man was talking to him. Back then, Sunggyu honestly thought he had the upperhand. He was waiting for the attacker to accidentally divulge something, his motive or a part of his identity, so that Sunggyu could catch him. And the attacker did reveal something: inappropriate relationship with Myungeun? Sunggyu cocked his head as he tried to work that out. It had to be Myungeun. He didn’t know any other minors, but Sunggyu did know that he never once did anything inappropriate with her. “I don't know,” Sunggyu concluded aloud. He couldn’t unravel a twisted, erted mind.

“He talked! Sunggyu! This time he talked!” Woohyun exclaimed. Sunggyu looked over at the other, wondering why the younger was so excited. There was nothing nice about being berated by that guy. Woohyun held his gaze and asked, “Do you recognize it? Do you know him?”

“I...I don't know,” Sunggyu stammered. He didn’t even think about that. He didn’t even look out for that at the time. He’d only concentrated on what the guy was saying. And now, going back and trying to remember how the attacker sounded, it was difficult. “It sounds vaguely familiar...but it could be anyone,” Sunggyu tried to brush the matter aside. But he couldn’t. Sunggyu was already beating himself up for being cocky earlier. He actually tried to toy with a psychopath, and he lost, of course. Sunggyu assumed that he wouldn't get hurt. He assumed that the other wouldn't try anything in such a public place.That was a mistake. He trusted a psychopath to act rationally. Sunggyu’s mind raced back to the man shaking the shelves and knocking books off, when he became unhinged. Sunggyu lowered his head and raise his hands to the side of it. They were trembling as they touched his temples and as Sunggyu mind was slowly breaking down, piece by piece, crumbling into ash. Sunggyu had truly lost to the attacker. The attacker had gotten under his skin, and he felt like he was on fire. What was I doing? “I don't know,” Sunggyu whined out loud. I put us both in danger. Woohyun, I dragged him into this.

Woohyun slid across the wall, leaning against Sunggyu. He pulled the hand closest to him away from Sunggyu’s head, slowly and gently, acting as if it were that hand that was keeping Sunggyu together. But it wasn’t. Sunggyu flipped his hand around and held onto Woohyun’s, tightly. He thought it would be fine, judging by how much Woohyun was pressing onto him, so it didn’t seem like a risk, not at all. No, it was something that he needed right now. And maybe Woohyun could sense that. Woohyun wrapped his other hand over Sunggyu’s cradling it. Sunggyu felt the fire, the panic in him dying down as Woohyun’s thumb caressed the back of his hands. But then his friend’s words stoked the flame again. “How does he even know about you, I wonder?” Woohyun’s comment seemed to be more to himself (and rhetorical) than to Sunggyu. It was low and he barely moved his lips. His eyes were on their hands. Woohyun probably didn’t even know that he said it outloud, but Sunggyu answered it anyway.

“Hell if I know,” he grumbled as he pressed his back up against the wall (and Woohyun too). An amusing theory flew across his mind, making him laugh. Woohyun stopped and looked up at him. Sunggyu explained, with a slender smile on his face, “Well, there was this club I went to a few times. Maybe he saw me there.”

“Why would he be there?” Woohyun asked. His brows furrowed in confusion until they flew up in surprise. “YOU went to a club?!”

Sunggyu hit him in the arm with their joined hands. “Yah, I do more than just study,” he retorted. “I do things. I’ve done things, but...I don’t know how he knows. I honestly don’t know.” It grew into something more than just that, very quickly. “He’s a psychopath, Woohyun! I don’t know what he thinks! I don’t even want to try to understand him.” Because every time he tried to, he lost; Sunggyu would get lost, dragged down into a mouth of charybdis, buffeted by waves of regret and fear, so much fear. He was scared that he’d drown. I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna think about this. Stop! Just stop! Sunggyu...

“Okay. Okay,” Woohyun muttered as he moved away from the other, one hand slipping away and the other one trying to.

“No.” Sunggyu held onto that hand.

“Alright.” Woohyun moved his hand as much as he could in Sunggyu’s grip, and the elder let him when he realized that he just wanted to lock their fingers together. Meanwhile, Woohyun turned towards him and laid a hand on the other’s back. “Just breathe. Breathe.”

Sunggyu stared at him, drawing in a shaky breath through a clenched throat. He had no idea that he wasn’t breathing, or not doing it right. It all happened so quickly, without Sunggyu being aware of it. And all of the sudden, his body didn’t feel like his own. But it was, and he needed to regain control of it. Soon, the drags were longer, steadier, in sync with the other’s. Sunggyu’s eyes never left his. And it helped. Sunggyu was in control again. Right as his chest felt looser, Sunggyu dropped his gaze. His fingers tapped on the back of the other’s hand. Chewing on his lip, he debated about whether he should tell Woohyun this. But in the end, no matter what excuse he tried to come up with, Sunggyu knew that he had to, even if it meant risking losing him and himself.

“He knows about you too.”

“What?” Woohyun replied.

“He thinks...you’re my...b-boyfriend,” Sunggyu stammered. It felt weird to say, and all too soon.

“O-oh,” it was obvious that Woohyun was trying hard to remain stoic, but his voice cracked. Sunggyu would’ve found it funny, if he wasn’t in this situation (having panic attacks behind a bush). And both of them kept facing forward, staring through the branches. The alarm had turned off and the crowd of students began to thin. And all Woohyun could say was, “I guess I can see how he’d think that.”

Sunggyu didn’t want to think too much about it, about why his voice sounded dead or why their hands were still together. So he let go and dug his finger into the ground instead. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “He could go after you next. You...”

“Don’t be. Don’t be sorry,” Woohyun cut him off. “It’s not your fault.” He paused, swallowing something down. Sunggyu didn’t know what it was; he just heard it. Woohyun kept going, “This whole thing. You've done nothing to deserve it. You've done nothing wrong.” That was followed by a sharp intake and a muted whimper, so Sunggyu knew what was going on before he’d looked over at the other. But he was still shocked to see it.

“Woohyun, you're crying,” Sunggyu declared, saying it outloud to make the realization to sink in. He didn’t think Woohyun could or would ever, not in front of him, or even over him (if that’s what Woohyun was really crying about).

“That’s right. I cry. I cry a lot. And I'm sick of pretending like I don't anymore,” Woohyun grumbled as he roughly rubbed his eyes, pressing more tears out in streams. He drew his knees up to his chest and lowered his head. Another sob cracked through his throat after he admitted, “I'm scared.”

“Me too,” Sunggyu confessed too, and he reached over into the small opening that Woohyun left and wiped one of the streams with his knuckles. But as he dabbed that one up, another one formed, down his own face. Sunggyu sniffed. He was crying too? But why? Woohyun raised his head and seemed to be asking those same questions to himself. Sunggyu wiped the other’s cheeks with his thumb, avoiding looking into Woohyun’s red and lost eyes. But as usual, Woohyun had his ways to trap the other. The younger grabbed at Sunggyu’s hand, pressing it harder onto his cheek. And Sunggyu gaze flew up to his, seeing Woohyun turn his head slightly, into the hand and about to...

“Oh hey guys! What's going on?”

Both Sunggyu and Woohyun jolted away from each other and shook at their friend’s voice. But Dongwoo just laughed, probably revelling in the fact that he’d just given both of them the fright of their lives, and crawled behind the bushes to join them. Sunggyu had to scoot down to make room for Dongwoo, and the new arrival managed to squeeze himself between the two, which was for the best. Dongwoo then threw an arm around both of them and brought them close to his sides. “Who are we hiding from?” he asked.

“Ah,” the other two muttered, nearly speechless. Sunggyu didn’t know about Woohyun, but he himself was too busy getting rid of any trace of crying on his person to make sense of Dongwoo or what he was saying.

“Oh!” Dongwoo exclaimed and released the both of them from his hold. “I see. He’s right there!” Sunggyu stiffened at that, eyes stuck to the ground. He’s right there. He’s right there! He came back! Sunggyu looked around Dongwoo, towards Woohyun, and the younger was already staring right back at him, just as equally freaked out. And the both of them yelped when Dongwoo jumped up. “I say ho you say…”

“Yaaaaaaaah!” Hoya, who had been innocently walking by the bushes at the time, screamed and flinched. But as soon as he saw who it was who scared him, Hoya rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. “Aish, Jang Dongwoo,” he swore at the other.

“It's not just me!” Dongwoo declared and he bent down to pull the other two up with him. Sunggyu and Woohyun both got onto their feet and awkwardly waved at Hoya, barely following along with what had just happened.

“Should've known Woohyun would be behind this!” Hoya retorted. But then his mouth fell open in shock. “And Sunggyu-hyung?” Hoya clicked his tongue and shook his head, not at Sunggyu but at the wolf. “Woohyun, you're becoming a bad influence on him.”

“Me?” Woohyun sounded hurt by that comment and pointed to himself. “Me?” he repeated more loudly to Hoya who once again refused to answer and just kept walking by the three of them.

“I think our little hyung is more mischievous than we give him credit for,” Dongwoo spoke to Hoya’s back. And Hoya just raised his hand, acknowledging it, but kept walking along. Dongwoo once again started laughing. He patted his friends on the backs. “Good prank, guys. I'll see you at lunch.” And with that, Dongwoo jumped over the bush and began running after Hoya.

“Prank? What prank? Where? I want to help!” Sungyeol exclaimed and came up to his friends, bounding with excitement. But Dongwoo passed him by, and Kate too, who was only a few steps behind her long-legged boyfriend. So he turned to the other two, who were still standing behind the bush. “What prank?” he repeated, less excited than last time. In fact, the excitement drained from Sungyeol as he kept looking at the other two, as did the color from his face. He was pale now and his eyes wide. “Oh no,” he muttered. Kate now was at his side. She’d slowed down when she caught sight of Sunggyu. She walked up to them with dread in her step and on her face. Sungyeol begged, “Guys, don't tell me.”

“He was here,” Woohyun told him anyway.

“I'll call the police,” Kate offered. She then patted Sungyeol’s arm. “Tall person, keep watch,” she ordered him before she pulled out her phone and stepped away from the three of them to make the call.

Sungyeol, on the other hand, leapt in front of the bushes with his arms outstretched. “I'll protect you,” he declared and began punching the air, knocking the ‘criminal’ away.  He then lowered his fists and glared at all directions. “I’ll spot him with my eyes.”

“I'm getting out of the bushes now,” Sunggyu announced as he pushed past Woohyun and finally scrambled out of the bushes.

“Me too,” Woohyun was only a few steps behind him and now was laughing, which made Sunggyu break out into a smile too. Sure, he felt embarrassed but...his eyes flickered over to Kate who was giving their location over the phone as calmly as she could even though she was anxiously pacing then to Sungyeol who had known at a glance that something was wrong and then to Woohyun who’d been with him through it all...it was endearing. And funny too. Sungyeol was still searching for the attacker out there and had barely noticed that the ones he was trying to protect were leaving. And when he did, he looked betrayed.

“Wait! Guys!”

Sunggyu’s perception of time was distorted. It felt like hours since Kate ended the call with the police and the four of them sat down on a bench alongside of the library, as close to the ‘scene of the crime’ as Sunggyu was willing to get. But it had to be under an hour before the car came and the officers came running up to him.

It was the silence that made the time drag by and the awkwardness too. Sungyeol was sitting in between him and Woohyun, and Sunggyu didn’t know whether to be thankful for that or not. He and Woohyun needed to talk, but now was hardly the time for it. And Sunggyu had no idea when would be a good time. But they needed to have the conversation, the same one that Sungyeol and Kate had, although Sunggyu wasn’t so sure how this one would turn out. Just last night Woohyun had shunned Sunggyu’s hug, but back then, when they were hiding, Woohyun almost...didn’t he? Am I making this up? Either way, Woohyun was here with him now, skipping class to give Sunggyu support. Oh wait...I guess he needs to give a statement too. And that thought confused Sunggyu all the more.

Almost as anxious as Sunggyu was Kate. She hopped off of the bench a minute or two after sitting down. And she began pacing again in front of them. The silence wasn’t settling well with her either. So she began filling it by lecturing Sunggyu, which made the time pass by even slower. She was reprimanding him for leaving her apartment without his crutches. It was bad for him to keep stressing his ankle, and now ‘he’d be lucky if he could walk.’ Sunggyu rolled his eyes. He thought he was running a short errand last night. He didn’t expect to end up at Woohyun’s house or to be stalked at the library. When he said that, Kate huffed but didn’t have anything to say in response. So Sungyeol pulled at her sleeves and got her to sit back down. But she sat down next to Woohyun, mumbling to herself, and he mumbled right back to her. Sunggyu strained his ears, trying to catch their lowered voices. And right then was when police decided to come, blasting their sirens and covering their conversation.

If waiting for the police felt like hours, then talking to them felt like days passing. The officers were just as fascinated with the fact that the attacker talked to him as Woohyun was. He tried to describe the voice to them the best that he could, but it was hard. A voice that was familiar but was it familiar because it was rather ordinary or because he’d heard it before? Sunggyu wasn’t able to say. He also revealed that the blonde hair was a wig, which did nothing but broaden their list of suspects. Sunggyu felt utterly unhelpful, and even more so when the police assigned protection to him. It wasn’t safe for Sunggyu to walk around without one. The attacker had form an attachment with him, for whatever reason. He ‘liked’ Sunggyu, that was what one officer said, and Sunggyu scoffed at that. Yes, the attacker ‘liked’ him to death.

Also the police had a lecture of their own for Sunggyu. It was their job to mess with the criminal, to take risks with him; it wasn’t Sunggyu’s. It was Sunggyu’s job just to survive and be a student, try to live life as normally as he could and to contact the police if problems were to arise. But now Sunggyu didn’t even have to call for the police anymore, not when he was constantly being tailed by one. Even now, when he left the officers and his friends, a rookie cop was escorting him to his lecture. The man didn’t sit besides him in class, but waited outside of the door. Sunggyu didn’t know how to feel about it. It was strange, and he was starting to realize that maybe his situation was more dire than he thought it was.

“What am I going to tell my parents?” he wondered.

They were coming up for a few days tomorrow. They had wanted to come earlier, but Sunggyu had convinced them to stay home for a bit longer. They had commitments tying them there until now. Sunggyu’s father couldn’t get out of work easily, and his mother was watching his cousin’s kids because (to top it all off) Sunggyu’s grandmother (who normally watched them) was in the hospital, but was now discharged. Sunggyu thought it wasn’t a big deal if they’d come a few days later. He thought he was safe. He told them that he was. But now things had gotten worse, and the officer outside of the lecture hall right now was proof of that.

He wasn’t even paying attention to Professor Kang right now. He was tapping his pen against his notebook. What am I going to tell them? What can I say? They’ll probably force me to come back home.

And right now, Sunggyu didn’t think that was a horrible idea.

Thank you, Namu. I don’t know how I could’ve gotten through all of this without you.

Woohyun threw the rag on the table that he was wiping down and put his hands on the table, bowing his head. Why did I have to think of that again? Woohyun groaned. He felt guilty for fooling Sunggyu. It’s not like that at all. He knew that Sunggyu used to think of him as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but it was just the opposite. Inside, Woohyun was a little lamb in wolf’s clothing. He was no savior. He wasn’t the pillar of strength and fortitude that Sunggyu needed to rely on. Woohyun was just a little, scared lamb.

Ever since Woohyun fought with the attacker that night, he’d been having nightmares, and his paranoia was growing with every passing day. Even just working at his parent’s place, he felt so overwhelmed. His heart was racing and his hair was standing on their ends. He had looked out the window countless times, and right now he just needed to not look at anything. Would he actually come here? There’s a chance...a chance that he knows me as well as he knows Sunggyu. After all, the attacker chose to prowl around at the library. Was it because he was following Sunggyu or was it because that’s where Woohyun worked? It could possibly be both. What am I supposed to do?

He didn’t know. He didn’t know what to do at all, and everything he did was wrong. Like when the attacker ran off and Woohyun went to comfort Sunggyu, and Woohyun got f***ing punched in the face because trying to squeeze the life out of someone having a panic attack wasn’t the best idea. But it was what Woohyun had wanted to do at the moment. He was just so grateful that the both of them were alive. He couldn’t help himself, just like Sunggyu couldn’t help shoving him off and crawling away. Then there was the time Sunggyu crashed at his place. First of all, Woohyun was scared less too at the thought of the attacker being nearby. His hand was shaking so hard that he had to hold his house key with both hands to unlock the door. And he felt just as safe and secure in that bathroom as Sunggyu did, or at least he did until Sunggyu hugged him and said, “I don’t know how I could’ve gotten through all of this without you.” Woohyun felt his wolf’s clothing slipping off of his back as tears slipped out of his eyes. Pillars of strength don’t cry, and so Woohyun ran out of the room before Sunggyu could see him break down into tears. And boy, did he cry that night, bitterly too. He wasn’t really sure why he was, but in the end, he was just overwhelmed by everything. And so he wept about everything, about how unfair this all was, how scared he was, and because Sunggyu was grateful for a dependable friend (when Woohyun felt like he was barely holding himself together).

Woohyun scoffed. He wasn’t so dependable now, after breaking down into tears while hiding behind a freaking bush. And ever since then, he and Sunggyu haven’t really talked. They barely saw each other these past few days. Kate said it was because Sunggyu was spending time with his parents, and Woohyun really hoped that was all it was. Maybe he doesn’t want me anymore, he couldn’t shake that thought off his back just like how he couldn’t shed his paranoia.

Before then, when he was still playing at the ‘savior,’ Woohyun had an inkling that Sunggyu liked him, although the elder hadn’t said that much. But Woohyun could tell by his actions, like how Sunggyu often went to him for help and the fact that Woohyun could calm him down. And that inkling alone gave Woohyun the strength to fulfill his role. Why? Because he liked Sunggyu too. But the timing now was horrible for either of them to do anything about it, especially when he hadn’t seen Sunggyu these past few days. It only brought that thought cycling back through his head, Maybe he doesn’t want me anymore. Maybe he doesn’t like me. All because he showed his true, weak self.

But then again, Sunggyu did try to wipe away his tears. Yet on the other hand, they haven’t spoken to each other in days. What am I supposed to make of this?

What am I supposed to do? Woohyun thought as he turned around and made for the kitchen. And it was a good thing that he did. If he hadn’t, he would’ve seriously been injured.

A brick flew through the window, hitting Woohyun in the back and knocking him onto his knees. Glass soared around him and cut through him as they glanced off his skin. At that moment, the world slowed down as he fell down onto his knees and then his hands. But he kept his head up, watching the glittering pieces of glass fly past him.

Woohyun screamed out in pain, when time came back up to speed, and the reality hit him. The cuts seared his skin, and his back, it felt broken. He crawled away and hid behind a counter, slithering along the floor. Once hidden, he looked at his hands which were dripping with red. “Ah, ah,” Woohyun whimpered as he tried to wipe the red away, but only more came out. “Ah, ah.” That was how he was breathing now. “Ah, ah.”

“Wha-WOOHYUN-AH! Oh my god! What happened to you?”

“Mom!” Woohyun cried out, looking up from his hands and at his mother who was rushing towards him right now.

“What happened?” she repeated. She kneeled down next to him and reached for his hands. But something inside Woohyun turned. It was instinctual. He recoiled, pulling his hands away from her, and he stood up. Craning his next back, he scanned the scene. There was a crowd gathering at the broken window, wondering what had happened there. Just a crowd and nothing more. No man in black. He was probably long gone by now. And when he realized that, Woohyun finally started breathing again..

“I’m fine,” he muttered as he walked towards the window, wincing at every step. The small shock from walking shot up his back. He searched for the culprit, the one that gave him pain. “Someone threw something, and…” as he was explaining it to his mother, he found it, the brick. It had a slur written across it in black. He thinks you’re my boyfriend, Sunggyu’s words rang through his head. Well, that explains that. He tried to flip the brick over before his mother could read the nasty message. But it was too late. He heard her read it aloud below her breath as he flipped it over. “I guess this was it,” Woohyun finished as he pointed to the brick.

His mother wrapped her hands around her son’s arm and pulled him away from the glass. “Why? Why would somebody do this?” she asked.

“It's the guy I told you about, Mom,” Woohyun replied and allowed himself to be pulled away. He spoke in a low tone lest anyone outside could hear him.

She was worried. “The one after your friend?” her voice was as low as his. Her eyes darted over towards the window, perhaps searching for the man. Her grip tightened. And Woohyun swore that he could feel something squeeze out of him.

He inhaled sharply through his teeth. “That's the one,” he responded.

“But why would he…”

Woohyun cut her off, “He thinks that I’m dating Sunggyu.” Mom, just stop it here. I don’t want to, I don’t want to do it like this. Don’t ask anything else.

However she kept going. “But you’re not!” that sliced through him like the glass had. Woohyun flinched. “He's just a friend…isn't he?” there was a lilt. Her voice drifted up in doubt and in volume. Her eyes were now boring through her son, more so the longer that he was silent.

“No, I'm not dating him...but I could be. I might,” Woohyun finally came out with it. His mother’s hands fell from him. And his head bowed, gaze dropped to the floor. There was glass stuck to his shoes and he tried to kick them off as he spoke. “And the guy knows that much,” his lips were barely moving as he spoke. “Mom, this...that’s right,” he said while gesturing towards the brick. “This is what I am. But, aish, this isn't how I wanted to do this.” His chest grew tight again, his eyes hot. He started rubbing his hands together again. It stung. Why was he doing this? Why did he have to do this now?

“O-oh,” she stammered while she was stepping away from her son. She was going back towards the kitchen. “We need to clean this up,” his mother stated and she gestured back towards the mess.

“No, don’t,” Woohyun argued and grabbed her sleeve to stop her. And she turned back towards him, confused. “It’s a crime scene.”

“Oh, then…let me,” her voice was breaking as her shaking hands raised to touch her son’s face. Woohyun could see the tears starting to form in her eyes, which didn’t help him to keep control of himself.

He pulled his face from her hands. “Get dad. I’ll call the police,” he said.

His mother looked hurt, but she did as she was told. “Oh, okay,” and with that, she left in search of his father.

When she was gone, he stared at his hands. Nam Woohyun, you’re in danger now. He didn’t have just the attacker to worry about anymore.

Luckily, Woohyun didn’t even have to call the police. Some good Samaritan among the throng of gawkers did it for him. Sirens wailed in the distance before Woohyun gathered the strength and the breath to make the call. The first responders attended to his wounds first before the police could gather his statement. It was strange. He’d been talking a lot to the police lately, but this was the first time that the focus was solely on him. This must’ve been how Sunggyu felt, like he was underneath a microscope. He was examined over and over again. Photos of him were taken. And for the first time, Woohyun didn’t want to check them to see how he looked. He didn’t need to. He looked horrible. He knew it.

However, the police were already aware of Woohyun and the case, and so it wrapped up much sooner than he remembered it taking the very first time. It was disconcerting though, for all of them. The attacker may have ventured out of the neighborhood when he stalked Sunggyu at the library, but Woohyun was the first victim outside of the neighborhood. The attacker was escalating and expanding his hunting grounds.

For that reason, they stationed a patrol car outside of his house, just in case the attacker would come back. And the Nams closed down their shop for the night. The only fortunate thing about the attack was that it happened before they were open for dinner service, so closing the restaurant was just as simple as posting a notice on the door. When that happened, they sent Woohyun home ‘to rest’ while they cleaned up the place and boarded up the window. Woohyun refused and tried to help, but then his father pushed him out of the door. But Woohyun didn’t leave without pilfering a bottle of soju first, and then he escaped up into his room.

He passed his time drinking by himself and staring at the wall, thinking of nothing much at all. He was just waiting for the other foot to drop and set things into motion. His secret was out. He was out. Now what was going to happen? Woohyun didn’t want to think about it. That was why he was just blankly staring at the wall and drinking the thoughts (or the ability to think straightly) away. Right as he was wishing that he had a second bottle, his parents came home. Woohyun drained his last glass and listened to them stomp up the stairs and go into their bedroom which was next to him. He clambered onto his bed and leaned against the wall, cheek pressed against it. He tried his best to pick up on those muffled voices.

He caught them. “If he wasn’t like this, his life wouldn’t be at risk!” his father’s low voice was loud enough to pierce through the wall. Woohyun didn’t have to strain his ears to hear it. He recoiled, second guessing his decision to listen in, but his ears still picked up on the sounds passing through them. “Not just now but...later too. Can't he just pretend?”

“I don't know,” his mother responded. “And his friend. Do you remember?” her voice was moving across the room, probably following her husband. “We suspected it when Woohyun first told us, but…” When she paused, Woohyun’s heart stopped too. Did they really start suspecting him? When? After the first attack? Or when Sunggyu came to stay the night? His already warm cheeks burned. This was so embarrassing. He covered his face and groaned, which almost drowned out his mother saying, “I wouldn't have ever imagined.”

Woohyun’s breath caught in his throat. He strained his ear, listening in closer. “Me either,” his father grumbled. His voice was fainter now. And Woohyun heard their bathroom door creak open.

“But…” and his mother’s voice disappeared inside of the bathroom. Water was running in full force in there and drowned all traces of their conversation. Woohyun frowned. Did they know that he was listening in? Probably. They knew exactly where Woohyun was, and how thin their walls were.

Woohyun groaned and flopped down onto the bed. He squirmed until he managed to lay his head onto a pillow. But laying like that hurt his back. Laying in any way hurt his back. It was just going to be a thing now, he guessed. Woohyun closed his eyes, contemplating whether he should take another painkiller or not, but his eyes snapped wide open when he heard the water shut off. The door opened again, and a voice grew louder and louder, not only because she was getting closer to the wall but because she was getting more worked up. “At the end of the day, he's still Woohyun,” his mother argued. “We might've not known this about our son, but we know our son. He doesn't take relationships lightly.”

Woohyun sat up in his bed before there was a knock at his door. He didn’t know what to say, so he just grunted. His mother opened the door just a crack. “Woohyun, are you asleep?” she whispered.

“No,” Woohyun answered, playing with the bandages on his hands. His mother then slipped through that crack, with an anxious smile on her face.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as she walked over to the bed. Woohyun brought his feet up closer to him in order to give his mother room to sit down.

When she was slowly lowering herself on the bed, he replied, “Hurt.” He was still too afraid to speak because he didn’t know what she came in to say. And all he wanted for her to do was just to talk about it, but she looked just as afraid to speak as he did.

“I thought so. Here,” she said and offered the pills in her hand and the mug of water in the other. Woohyun was surprised to see them. He’d been so fixed on her expression that he hadn’t noticed that she was carrying anything. Woohyun thanked her and took the painkillers. After he popped them in his mouth and washed them down, his mother pulled at the edge of his shirt. Woohyun raised an eyebrow with his mug still to his lips. “And your back? Can I see it?” she asked. Woohyun nodded, put the mug on his nightstand, and turned around while pulling up his shirt. Judging by the strangled gasp that came out of her, his back looked horrid. With feather-like touches, she caressed his back. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Woohyun flinched. And the touches were gone. “My poor baby,” her voice was quivering.

“Mom?” Woohyun called to her while he quickly pulled down his shirt. She didn’t answer. But he saw why soon enough. When he turned around, he saw his mother quietly sobbing. “It's okay! It's just a bruise,” he relayed what the paramedics told him. “It’s okay,” he tried to soothe her, but with his words only. He was still too scared to do anything more.

His mother shook her head fervently. “No, it's not okay,” she spat back. Woohyun flinched again and shut his eyes. “When someone is threatening my precious son’s life, saying such hateful things, it's really not okay! It's horrible!” she exclaimed. Woohyun opened his eyes again. She now had a fist in . She was biting it in order to restrain herself. But the tears wouldn’t stop flowing and the sobs kept coming. She then gave up and let it all out. “I can't believe...I don't wanna lose you,” she wailed.

Woohyun too couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He scooted down and embraced his mother, hooking his head over her shoulder and swaying them back and forth. “You won't lose me...right?” Woohyun wanted to comfort her, but a small part of him was still worried that he’d find himself on the streets at the end of the night, or have his parents try to fruitlessly convince him to be ‘safer.’ He strengthened his hold on his mother. Please don’t.

“If you stay home, stay safe,” she responded. Her voice was muffled as she was speaking into his shoulder. And there it was: safe. Woohyun hoped that she didn’t mean what he thought she meant by that.

So he pushed it. He pulled away slightly so that he could look at her. “But I can't. I have to go to school, see my friends,” he emphasized the last word, hoping that she could read in between his words.

“I know, I know. It's just that…” she paused and avoided Woohyun’s gaze. So he lowered his head and caught hers. What was she thinking? She looked up shyly at him. “I don't want to see you get hurt anymore.”

“I won't. I'm strong,” Woohyun stayed firm. He might have many tears, and he might be more of a lamb. But he knew how to act like a wolf. He knew how to protect himself, against the attacker and against the world.

His mother lifted her head back up, taking in her son’s face for a few seconds. She cupped his cheek with her hand. Her thumb brushed against a fresh cut. She smiled. “That's right. Stronger than your father and I even know,” his mother replied. Woohyun’s eyes widened. Does she mean what I think she does? A smile began spreading across his own face. She let out a heavy sigh before continuing. “And old too. Old enough to make your own decisions and live your own life. You're not our little baby anymore.”

She did! She did mean it! Woohyun had a full blown smile on his face. Some cuts must’ve reopened because it stung, but he didn’t care. His heart was mending. He embraced his mother again, placing his head back at her shoulder. “I'll always be your baby, mom,” he said in a cute voice. He was the maknae of the Nams and he was more than happy to stay that way.

“Eung.” And his mother was happy to have it that way too. “You’re my baby.”

Woohyun felt his bed shift underneath him, followed by a weight on his back. He could tell by just the smell alone, it was his dad. Woohyun had no idea that his father had even come into his room, but he was here now, joining in the hug. Although his father didn’t say a thing, this hug spoke volumes. His father loved him, still, and probably always would.

And when his father actually spoke, Woohyun knew that for sure. They were now sitting down at the dinner table to eat. “What about your friend? Sung…Sung…” his father struggled to remember his name but was still asking about Woohyun’s ‘friend.’

“Sunggyu?” Woohyun reminded him. He shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m told he’s fine,” he answered, which was followed by a short chuckle. When didn’t Sunggyu say that he was fine? ‘Fine’ never meant much coming from him. And it meant even less when it came from Kate after it came from him. Sunggyu told me he’s fine. “In any case, he has police protection now,” Woohyun tried to comfort himself in that fact, but it did little to settle his nerves. “But I don’t know. I have a bad feeling. I’m afraid that something bad is going to happen to him soon. I just hope that I’m wrong.”

His parents tried to assuage those fears and told Woohyun to trust in the police. But the feeling didn’t go away. Something bad was about to happen. He could practically smell it.

Sunggyu’s parents were worried that something bad would happen too. They wanted him to come home, just like Sunggyu had suspected that they would. And Sunggyu agreed. He’d follow them home in two days. He already bought the bus ticket. But before he left, he needed to tie up a few loose ends. Tomorrow, he’d go to school and pull himself out of classes. Then he needed to say goodbyes. He didn’t want to leave without saying anything. He might not be able to say all that he wanted, but ‘goodbye’ and ‘see you later’ would be good enough for now, he hoped.

He didn’t want to ruin anything by leaving; however, by staying here, he was slowly ruining himself. He couldn’t spend his days in fear anymore. He couldn’t tolerate being watched by a rotating cast of cops anymore. He just wanted to live normally again.

For now, only Kate knew about his plan as he and his parents were staying at her place (and spent the nights at Karen’s). No, that wasn’t right. Sungyeol knew too because if Kate knew, then Sungyeol knew. That was just how they worked. So Kate and Sungyeol knew about the plan. Kate supported it and encouraged it (in fact, at times, Sunggyu wondered if she conspired with his parents on the matter). He suspected that Sungyeol would be the same (because that was just how Sungyeol worked).

But Sunggyu didn’t tell Woohyun yet. He hadn’t talked to him in days. He didn’t have the time to. Sunggyu spent the last few days being doted on by his parents. He was the maknae of the Kims and missed being babied by them. And so their visit was healing. Sunggyu felt safe and quite normal. He slept easier, ate more, and talked cheerfully like he used to. But when they left this morning, all of that was taken away from him. It was almost midnight and he was wide awake. He couldn’t remember the last time that he ate. And he barely said more than three words to Kate all day.

Yes, it was time for him to go home so that he could be himself again.

So he decided to start saying his goodbyes a bit earlier than he intended. And he started with the convenience store near his old neighborhood. Of course, there was a store closer to Kate’s place, but it wasn’t wasn’t the same. This store carried some goods that the others didn’t carry, like Sunggyu’s favorite type of triangle kimbap. And the store also carried memories that no other store had, like the several times he came to buy snacks with the Myungs or that one time he and Woohyun ate ramyun together. When Woohyun was too broke to buy kimchi, Sunggyu recalled with a laugh. Who knew that he’d ever look back on that memory fondly? Sunggyu surely didn’t, not at the time.

He looked back at the rookie cop following behind him now and sighed. This really wasn’t the kind of company he was used to or wanted. But it’s better than being alone, Sunggyu reminded himself as he limped into the store.

“Good evening.”

Sunggyu froze as chills ran down his spine. He tightened his grip on his crutches. “Is everything okay?” the cop asked from behind him. Sunggyu shivered from being startled. It was just the cashier. That was all. He’d just gotten spooked again. The cashier’s greeting took him off guard. This is why I need to go home. I can’t live like this anymore.

“I’m fine,” Sunggyu mumbled as he swung his crutches and moved down the aisle.

Sunggyu assembled a feast for the both of them. Paying for ramyun was the least Sunggyu could do to thank the cop for his hard work. This rookie, Joohyuk, was the one who watched over Sunggyu the most and so the two of them bonded, even though they’d only been ‘together’ for a short period of time. Joohyuk didn’t talk much or invade his privacy. And his long limbs and round eyes reminded him of Sungyeol. So it felt comfortable with him. Joohyuk almost felt like a friend.

While they waited for their ramyun to cook, Sunggyu asked, “Do you want some kimchi? Ramyun without kimchi is like bread without red bean and cabbage wrap without pork and chicken without pickled radish…” he stopped when he was only met with the cop’s empty gaze. Sunggyu cleared his throat. “So do you want some?” Joohyuk answered with a nod. And so Sunggyu grabbed his crutches and lifted himself up to buy some kimchi.

When he arrived at the register with two packets of kimchi, the cashier was nowhere in sight. There was only a black cap resting on the counter. Sunggyu stared at it for a few moments before shaking some nasty memories out of his head and he searched the small store for the cashier, who was found outside of the store, sweeping the steps. Sunggyu didn’t want to interrupt him, so he placed his change on the counter and returned back to his ramyun. He’d just tell the cashier later about it, but now Sunggyu finally found his appetite and his noodles were at risk of swelling.

While they ate, Sunggyu watched the young man outside sweep. He frowned. What did Sungyeol, Joohyuk, and this guy eat to be so tall, and why didn’t Sunggyu get any of it when he was younger? And they all seemed to be younger than him. Life wasn’t fair. Well, at least Sunggyu could take solace in the fact that he was taller than Nam Woohyun. He smirked at that, and then also at cashier. It was obvious that the cashier was sweeping for lack of anything more entertaining to do. He was just sweeping the same spot over and over again. And watching that broom move back and forth like a metronome gradually made Sunggyu feel sleepy. Already, Sunggyu got more than he bargained for out of this trip. It was a good choice to come here.

Joohyuk cleaned up for the both of them. And while he was doing that, Sunggyu made his way outside. The cop would catch up. Sunggyu couldn’t get far with his crutches. He was hardly faster than a turtle now. He wouldn’t be able to out race anybody. Luckily, he didn’t have to.

“I left some money on the counter for two things of kimchi,” Sunggyu told the cashier as he went by him.

“Thank you, sir. Have a good evening.”

Sunggyu froze again. There was a reason why that voice spooked him before. It was a familiar voice. He’d heard it many times before, giving him polite greetings as he came and left the store. No wonder why he didn’t recognize it then! Sunggyu craned his neck back. Those eyes! His mind flashed back to when he was hiding in the bushes and saw the man lift up his cap, brushing his wig out of those eyes! It was him! Sunggyu knew that it was!

His swung his gaze over to Joohyuk and opened his mouth to shout. But that shout became a gargled scream as the attacker dropped his broom, lurched forward, and tackled Sunggyu, pushing him into the street and right in front of a speeding car.

The headlights swallowed Sunggyu whole.

He fell onto the ground. The car ran him over. Bones crunched under the weight and the car came to an abrupt halt over his body. The pain, there was so much of it, searing through his body. But there was also this numbness, as Sunggyu was struggling to hold onto his wits. There was relief too. It wasn't as bad as it could've been. Sunggyu was alive, mostly conscience, and he was going to live through this.

His military training had kicked in. When the cashier pushed him, he wasn’t able to get any footing and ended up falling onto the ground. He then began to army crawl across the road the furthest that he could. The car managed to slow down enough to give him time but it still skidded into him. Well, it skidded over him. The wheels were still crushing his leg, or legs. Sunggyu wasn't sure, and he wasn't going to look. He also wasn’t able to. His strength was leaving him quickly, oozing out into the pavement into red streams. His cheek was pressed into the pavement.

He couldn’t see anything, but he could hear. A woman was wailing. Joohyuk, he was shouting Sunggyu’s name, over and over again. Were those his hands on him? Soon there were sirens, again, those blasted all-too familiar sirens. There were more voices, and then more hands. Questions were asked of him. Sunggyu answered “yes” to all of them, hoping that would get him out from under the car. “Yes, yes, yes, get me out,” was the only thing he had the strength to say. It was getting harder to lift his head from the ground.

But then it was lifted for him. His entire body was being taken away. More hands, accompanied by faces, not a one of them was familiar to Sunggyu. And not a one of them was the attacker’s.

He didn’t get me. It’s all over. All over.

Sunggyu slipped in and out on his way to the hospital. He could barely keep his eyes open, but he was also too afraid to close them, just in case. Once he was admitted, it got easier to stay cognizant. He assumed that things were done to him to help that, like the things around his legs now and the I.V. in his arm. It was easier, but everything was still hazy.

Sunggyu knew that Kate was there by his side after a while. That made sense. After the first attack, she put herself down as his emergency contact. Next to her was a tall looming figure that Sunggyu assumed was Sungyeol or a doctor. Or both? Did Sungyeol become a doctor recently? He couldn’t remember.

Then he was moved onto a gurney. The surgeon finally arrived, and he was being transferred into the operating room. Kate and Sungyeol were by his side as he was quickly rolled down the hall. And maybe, just maybe, he caught sight of someone else, whose lower canine jutted out from his lip, who called out his name but then went away when Sunggyu was pushed through the door to the O.R..

Was Woohyun really there? Or was he just imagining things? Sunggyu wasn’t wondering for much longer. A mask was placed over his face. And after a deep breath, two, three, Sunggyu finally closed his eyes for a long, long time.

“Namu?! You’re here?! Why didn’t you come back to see Sunggyu?” Kate’s voice echoed down the hall as marched up towards Woohyun, getting too close to him. Woohyun had to step back, feeling cornered. And Sungyeol held her shoulder, stopping her from advancing any further.

“He didn’t want to,” Sungyeol answered for him.

Kate doubled back and faced her boyfriend wordlessly for a few seconds before her eyes slowly wandered back to Woohyun. “Why?” her voice was as lost as her expression.

Woohyun slouched and put his hands in his pockets. His eyes were downcast. He couldn’t look at the other two out of shame but he could still answer, “I didn’t think he’d want to see me.” He really didn’t have any intentions of seeing Sunggyu, at least not now. That’s what he told Sungyeol, when they ran into each other in the waiting room outside of the E.R.. That was what Woohyun said, what he intended, but he was still at the hospital. And when he saw Sunggyu being rolled into the O.R., Woohyun’s feet moved to his side before he could realize it. His body wasn’t listening to him.

“Of course he’d want to,” Kate argued with a whine and a stamp of her foot. She really couldn’t understand.

Woohyun shook his head with a small apologetic smile on his face. “I’m not like you,” he retorted. Kate, further confused by that, looked towards Sungyeol for clarification, and he was just nodding along to what Woohyun said, giving her no help. So Woohyun explained, “You two are practically family. Family should be back there.”

“True, but…” Kate was scrambling to find the words. Her gaze was darting all over as if she could catch the right phrase midair, but all did catch was: “You’re not nothing to him.”

Woohyun sputtered. ‘Not nothing,’ how did that figure into relationships? Was it more or less than a ‘some’? Would it even classify as friends? No matter what the answer was, Woohyun was sure that this truth would remain: “I don’t think he would’ve wanted me to see him like that.” And Woohyun didn’t think he could handle it.

“O-oh, maybe…” Kate seemed to be realizing the situation. However she hadn’t fully grasped it yet. “But…” she tried to continue the argument but Sungyeol cut her off.

“Kate, don’t you need to call hyung’s parents? Tell them that he’s in surgery?” he reminded her. His hands were still on her shoulders, and still pulling her away from Woohyun every time that she tried to make a step towards him (Kate could be unintentionally intimidating in that respect. He was only trying to give Woohyun space to breathe and think).

“Yes, but…” Kate couldn’t let it drop.

So Sungyeol took up the matter from her. “I’ll look after things here,” he offered and gestured vaguely around them (or not so vaguely because he was pointing at the O.R.’s doors and at Woohyun).

“Okay,” she gave in with a small voice. Before she left, she got onto her toes in order to place a peck on Sungyeol’s cheek, but that was only so she could whisper ‘covertly’ into his ear, “Tell me everything.”

“Eung,” he grunted softly in response (which made Woohyun scoff. Nothing these two did was as ‘covert’ as they thought they were being), and Sungyeol watched her walk down the hall and turn the corner. Once she did, the two of them sighed, for different reasons. For Woohyun, he felt a pressure lift off of him when she left. Kate was protective of Sunggyu, and maybe a little too much. So when she was starting to question Woohyun, it wasn’t good, especially when he didn’t have an answer yet.

He and Sungyeol went into a waiting room. They were ushered over there by some of the staff. And they sat their in silence, twiddling their thumbs, bouncing their legs, as time ticked by all too slowly for their liking. Sungyeol was the one to lose his patience first: “What’s going on between the two of you?”

“Me and Kate?” Woohyun shot back.

Sungyeol wasn’t distracted for one second. “You and Sunggyu,” he clarified. Woohyun looked down at his lap, at his wringing hands which were now red from rubbing and sore. However, Sungyeol’s gaze never left him. He could feel it burning into the side of his head. Kate wasn’t the only protective one, in the end. “You guys became friends, didn’t you?” Sungyeol asked. Woohyun gave a short nod. “Did you fight?” At that, Woohyun shook his head fervently. “Did he say something that made you mad?” This time, Woohyun barely shook his head, and his head bowed down more. “Then what is it? You two have been weird since the thing at the library,” Sungyeol pointed out. He then pressed his fingers into the side of Woohyun’s head and pushed it to get the other to look at him. And so Woohyun did, but he only answered with a shrug. Sungyeol stuck his tongue in his cheek for a moment, probably holding back some choice words, but then those words began falling from his lips regardless, “You’re being annoying, you know that? You have to know…”

“I don’t know!” Woohyun snapped, cutting him off. Sungyeol set his jaw, peeved. Woohyun dropped his gaze again to his lap. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. I’m still trying to figure it out,” he admitted, followed by a heavy sigh.

“Figure it out soon, okay?” Sungyeol urged him. “I don’t want things to go back to the way that they were. I like the way things are now, with us all being friends.” He pulled his eyes away from the other and faced forward, slumping down in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t want to choose between the both of you,” he grumbled.

Woohyun nudged him. “Eh, I wouldn’t make you choose,” he promised.

Sungyeol looked up at him and spoke with 100% honesty, “You wouldn’t, but Sunggyu would.” And that made Woohyun sputter it laughter. It was ridiculous but it was true. It was so Sunggyu. Sungyeol then started laughing along with him. And the two of them were laughing too much and too loudly. Woohyun didn’t know about Sungyeol, but he felt like he was laughing just to feel happier now. So when he began laughing, he didn’t want to stop. But they eventually both did. Woohyun noticed that they had drawn glares from others in the waiting room. It wasn’t the right time of day for nonsensical cackling, nor the right place.

But maybe if the others were in the same situation, they’d do the same thing. Because now all they had was anxiety and silence.

Then Kate finally came back from her calls, but her eyes weren’t on her friends. There were stuck on the wall next to them. “Guys…” she broke the silence. Lifting a finger bit by bit, she pointed at the wall. “...the t.v.”

The silence came back and their anxiety flew up. Woohyun’s heart was hammering in his chest.

It was the 7 o’clock news. Was it really that late? Or was it early? The sun had risen but everything in here was still dark, and continually darkening. But with the sun breaking over the horizon outside, there was breaking news. The attacker had been arrested, and all three of them relaxed in their seats, but Woohyun was still nervously chewed on the pad of his thumb as he listened to the details of the arrest. This was the first time that any of them had heard the news. They knew, they immediately knew that what happened to him was related to the attacker, but that was it. And now the identity of the criminal was flashing across the screen. It was someone that they all passed by in daily life, never giving him a second glance, and yet he was able to upturn their lives and destroy Sunggyu’s. Woohyun heard Kate mutter something below her breath, probably about how she should’ve known. After all, she was a ‘good judge of character,’ but this guy managed to slip through her fingers. Kate shouldn’t feel guilty, but Woohyun could relate. He was feeling the same. How many times had he handed over money to that cashier? How many times did he touch the hands that tried to kill Sunggyu, and tried to kill him? Oh god. How could I? Woohyun pulled his gaze from the screen and stared blankly at the wall. How could we not have suspected?

“Oh my god!” Kate yelped, which brought Woohyun’s attention back to the screen, and he sincerely wished he hadn’t looked back. But now he couldn’t look away. His eyes opened wide, in shock, trying to take it all in. Unlike her, Woohyun couldn’t make a sound. His throat was too tight as he watched a video clip of Sunggyu being pulled out from under the car. There wasn’t much of Sunggyu could actually be seen, and the parts that could were blurred out to protect his identity. But they watched the first responders surrounding their friend, shouting at each other in a panic. They saw the skid marks on the pavement, the driver trying to prevent this horrible accident from happening. But it did. And now on the screen, their dear friend, writhing in pain, was being loaded into the of the ambulance.

Woohyun tore his eyes away once the footage ended and the reporter was now interviewing the arresting officer. How could they show that? Even though not everyone could tell it was Sunggyu, and not everyone even knew who Kim Sunggyu was or that he existed, how could they? Woohyun shut his eyes tightly and felt tears being squeezed out. Great, now he was crying again. He covered his face and let out a sob. He thoughts drifted from cursing the news program to cursing himself. What the hell are you going to do now, Nam Woohyun?

A loud snivel came from next to him. Woohyun lowered his hands a fraction and wiped his eyes clear as he looked over. Sungyeol was crying too. Woohyun sat up straight and let his hands drop to his lap. Kate was crying as well. Why? They’d already seen the aftermath. But they hadn’t seen that, Woohyun reminded himself. All three of them were now realizing just how much their friend had suffered. And it was breaking their hearts.

Woohyun kept watching his friends. Sungyeol was crying so hard that his nose was starting to run, and that didn’t go unnoticed by Kate either. She pulled down her sleeve, clenching it in her fist, and used it to wipe his nose. Embarrassed by that, Sungyeol took that hand away from his face and then brought it down into his lap, holding it tightly in both of his hands. Kate then whimpered at something else on the t.v. screen and dropped her head onto his shoulders. It wasn’t until then that Woohyun decided to look away and give them some privacy. But his mind’s eye kept replaying what he’d just seen, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it, because he seriously doubted that he and Sunggyu could ever be like that if they got together.

He and Sunggyu had reached a critical point in their relationship. They liked each other. There was potential that they could be something more than friends. But should they? Right now, it was possible to end things at a ‘some’ (or a ‘not nothing’ as Kate put it). Woohyun could even try to enlist in the army and disappear for a few years. That would surely put an end to all of this and give them both enough time to move on (if they could). Would that be better?

Woohyun’s doubts could easily be summed up like this: he didn’t know if he was what Sunggyu needed right now. With the way things were now, Sunggyu would need a lot of care and understanding. It wasn’t going to be easy to deal with. It would be a constant struggle, mostly because Woohyun needed a lot of care too. Normally, Woohyun craved attention and affection, but now, that desire increased. Although Sunggyu had the worst of it, Woohyun came out of this whole ordeal with scars of his own, on his body and soul. What if didn’t get that attention he craved? What if he was neglected? What if he was the only one that gave in the relationship and Sunggyu just took? What if Sunggyu wasn’t what he needed now either?

It felt really risky. And had these things not happen, if they’d been living life as they used to, Woohyun would’ve taken the risk without second thought. He would’ve tried to date Sunggyu. But now it seemed cruel to try, to give Sunggyu support and love, only to take it away if they ever broke up. Woohyun could break him even further. It was really risky. Sunggyu could break him too, if the elder decided that this Woohyun wasn’t what he wanted, that this Woohyun was unlovable for him. It was risky because they were different people now than they were at the beginning.

Woohyun hazarded a glance up at the television screen again. It was just the weather report right now. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. And I’ll be spending all day inside, Woohyun caught himself thinking. Once he realized it, he laughed to himself. Here he was debating if he should be with Sunggyu or not, but he still never left his ‘side’ and wasn’t planning on it. All of this reminded Woohyun of the time when he was in doubt about whether he was gay or not. It was the same bouncing back-and-forth tennis match that he had in his mind. I’m not, am I? Well, he was, and no flood of doubt could wash that fact away. So he followed his heart, and overall, he was happier for it, happier that he admitted who he was and not fighting against it. And now, Woohyun should do the same as he did back then: stop fighting with himself and just follow his heart. And his heart wanted Sunggyu. Even though this Sunggyu wasn’t ideal and was probably different. He was still Sunggyu and was still precious to Woohyun (and probably even more so now because Woohyun was grateful that the other was alive).

And Woohyun was just going to have to take the risk and hope that Sunggyu felt the same way.

They weren't normal now, they'll probably never get back to normal, but they'll find a new normal together.

The first thing he noticed was that it was bright, painfully so. It pierced through his eyelids like daggers, making his head throb. No, his whole body was throbbing in pain, especially his ears. It was so loud, and all Sunggyu wanted to do was sleep. But he couldn’t it, not with those voices yammering in his ears. But at least whoever it was was now looming over him and blocking out the light. Who were they anyway?

“Oh! He’s moving!” Ah, that would be Sungyeol.

“Sunggyu? Oppa?” And Kate too was there, and was surprisingly acting respectfully. She must really be feeling bad for him. “Are you awake?”

“No, it’s another false alarm,” Sungyeol grumbled. He must’ve leaned away because the light was piercing through Sunggyu’s eyelids again.

“I’m getting tired of those.” But who was that? Sunggyu sharpened his ears, no matter how much it hurt. “I can’t believe he got hit by a car.”

“I know,” Sungyeol sounded annoyed. “You’ve been saying that all morning.”

“It doesn’t make it any less...unbelievable,” the other man struggled to defend himself. But then the words came out more easily: “I thought this only happened in dramas. People suddenly getting hit by car.” He let out a sigh so heavy that Sunggyu felt it brush against his skin. “Are you sure they checked him everywhere? Isn’t this taking too long? Maybe he has brain damage.”

“They checked him everywhere, Woohyun.” What? It was Woohyun? He was actually there and  Sunggyu didn’t imagine it? Sunggyu moved his head to the side slightly to hear them better. Kate continued in a tired voice, “His pretty head is fine.”

“I don’t want there to be complications that’ll…”

“Not everyone who gets hit by a car has to die,” Sungyeol cut Woohyun off.

“Not everyone gets hit by a car!” Woohyun spat back, very loudly.

“Too loud,” Sunggyu muttered out of reflex as he winced. He then sensed everything getting tense. Crap, he exposed himself. Sunggyu let out a huff and mumbled, scarcely moving his lips, “Shut up.”

“Sunggyu!” they all exclaimed in unison, not listening to what he just said. And so Sunggyu was finally going to make the effort and open his eyes just to glare at them.

“I’ll go tell someone,” Kate offered. And when Sunggyu managed to flutter his eyes open, he saw Kate already turning to leave the room.

“Oh! His eyes are open!” Woohyun exclaimed. Sunggyu then looked over at him through his eyelashes. Woohyun was the only one sitting down and was the closest to him. And now he was only getting closer to Sunggyu as Woohyun leaned over him to check. “Maybe...oh yea they’re open,” he announced with a smile. He then sat back down and craned his neck back. “Kate!” he called after her. But she was nowhere in sight. So he looked over at Sungyeol. “She already left.”

“It’s okay,” Sunggyu mumbled. “She doesn’t care.” The two others looked down at him, confused. They didn’t realize that Sunggyu was joking. He frowned. Everything was awkward now, and he really did mean everything. Their gazes were burdensome. He could barely make things out in this bright light. He was panting as if he’d finished running a marathon. And he just felt this weight over every inch of his body, pressing him down further onto the bed, constraining him, especially around his hand. So he shook it, and the weight came off. He then also saw Woohyun wiggling in his seat, putting his hands in his lap. Don’t tell me…Wait, his face.

“How are you feeling?” Sungyeol interjected.

“Hurt,” Sunggyu answered curtly. He then focused on Woohyun, narrowing his eyes. “What happened to you?”

“Huh?” Woohyun froze.

“Cut,” Sunggyu replied and raised a finger millimeters from the bed but at Woohyun, not like he could see it, but Sunggyu’s unfaltering stare at the scratches across Woohyun’s round cheeks. Some were even close to his eyes.

Woohyun ignored Sunggyu, or maybe he couldn’t hear him. But then, Sungyeol nudged him and Woohyun glanced over. It was difficult to make out, but Sunggyu guessed that Sungyeol mouthed ‘didn’t tell him?’ And Sunggyu could perfectly make out that slight shake of Woohyun’s head, and he looked over at the patient out of the corner of his eye anxiously. What’s going on? “Hyung, can you feel this?” Sungyeol shouted as he punched the other in the arm.

“Ow!” Sunggyu yelped, flinching. Maybe calling it a ‘punch’ was exaggerating, but damn it hurt like one. “, yes.”

“That’s a good sign, isn’t it?” Sungyeol asked, not even looking at Sunggyu but Woohyun, who nodded back.

“Can you feel this?” Woohyun joined in and poked a finger into his side.

“Stop!” Sunggyu yelled as loud as he could.

“How about we have the professionals do the check up?” Kate couldn’t have come in at a better time, ushering in the doctor and nurse. Sunggyu put his head back down on the pillow and saw her smile at him. He thinks he managed to smile back, but it might’ve just been a slight facial spasm. This was going to take some getting used to. His body really didn’t feel like his own now, even less so with the doctor and nurse performing the check up on his, reading off his vitals as if they were his exam scores (and an exam that he just barely passed too). But all of this was better than the alternative, and much better since he had friends at his side.

When they finished check up, the doctor and nurse left again after giving Sunggyu an incentive spirometer to take in deep breaths. It felt weird using it with his three friends watching, so intently. You’d think that Sunggyu inhaling from that tube was the biggest game of the year because they were a little too encouraging with their words and they all actually clapped when he finished his exercises. Why are they so weird? Sunggyu thought as he put the spirometer down. Now he was actually smiling. The deep breathing also helped to clear his head, even though he was constantly growing more and more tired. It was a struggle to keep his eyes open, but he didn’t want to shut them yet, not when everyone else was still there.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Kate stated. She was now sitting next to him too, but on the other side. She took the spirometer and put it on the table nearby. “You look like you need to sleep.”

Sunggyu whined, “No, not yet.”

His friend caught on quickly. “You want to eat?” Sungyeol asked with a slight chuckle.

“Eung,” Sunggyu grunted.

“I’ll go pick up something for you,” Sungyeol offered and began to make his way to the other side of the bed. There was something else that wanted to ‘pick up.’

“Thank you,” Sunggyu muttered as he shifted up onto his bed.

Sungyeol was now by Kate’s side. He placed his hand onto her shoulders. “Come on,” he urged her, moving his hands up and down.

However, she was reluctant to leave. “But…” Kate began to argue, her gaze flitting back and forth between her boyfriend and her oldest friend. This wasn’t such a huge dilemma as she was making it out to be because...

“Woohyun can look after him,” Sungyeol pointed out. He was astute as always; he noticed that it was time to give the two men some time alone. But Kate was being obtuse. Luckily, Sungyeol knew how to work her. He lifted his hands off of her shoulders with one big pat and then began walking away. Kate then began whipping her head back and forth between the two of them and finally jumped up when Sungyeol called back to her with a grin, “Come on, lackey!”

“Okay!” she responded and chased after him out of the door. “Since when am I your lackey?” Kate asked when she caught up to his side and wrapped her arm around his.

“Ever since you started responding to it,” Sungyeol and then the two of them were gone.

And once they were, Woohyun slumped over onto the bed, head brushing against Sunggyu’s side as he nuzzled into it. “Jesus Christ!” his swearing was muffled by the sheets. He then turned to look up at Sunggyu, with his cheek still pressed into the sheets. “Can you just stop almost dying? I swear, you get into near death situations more than a lead in a drama,” he begged of him. “Can you just stop? I don’t think my heart can take it anymore.”

“I just broke my leg,” Sunggyu replied with a forced smile, acting like that was the only part of his body in pain. Truth be told, only one leg was completely broken. The other one wasn’t much better, but it would heal more quickly.

Woohyun propped himself up and was frowning deeply. “Yea after getting hit by a car!” he argued.

“Not everyone who gets hit by a car has to die,” Sunggyu kept his voice level.

And his calmness (or resignation) was starting to rub off onto Woohyun. The younger fell back into his seat, but he was having a hard time controlling himself. His whole body was practically vibrating from nerves. “Yea, well, but still,” he was stuttering over his words. He then glared at Sunggyu out of the corner of his eyes. “You were lucky.”

“Really lucky,” Sunggyu immediately agreed. Woohyun faced him head on, looking at the elder as if he were crazy. So Sunggyu clarified, “I think they got the guy.”

Woohyun nodded and bowed his head again. “They did. It was even on the news,” he spoke so lowly that Sunggyu almost didn’t catch it.

Sunggyu fell back onto his pillow. “It’s a relief,” he breathed out.

“It is,” Woohyun agreed, but he didn’t sound as relieved as Sunggyu was, as he should’ve been. Sunggyu lifted himself up again and stared at the other. When Woohyun noticed the stares, he turned towards the elder, giving him a one-second grin, and patted his hand, as if to tell Sunggyu that he did a good job.

But it was one of those extremely rare instances when Sunggyu didn’t want praise. He’d much rather prefer to have answers from the younger, especially since Woohyun was being so avoidant and careful not to have his face in Sunggyu’s full view for so long. “So are you ever going to tell me what happened?” Sunggyu finally asked. “To your face?”

Woohyun scoffed but still wasn’t facing the other. “That’s not nice to say. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately. I know I gained some weight, but...”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sunggyu cut him off, even with his raspy voice. It stopped Woohyun, literally. He froze, but melted seconds later. He still couldn’t look at Sunggyu though, his eyes were down at his hands which were playing with Sunggyu’s fingers, but he finally gave an answer.

“He threw a brick at my parents’ shop. At me.”

“What? When?” the questions came out too forcefully and sent Sunggyu into a coughing fit, but he kept his hands right where they were.

“A few days ago,” Woohyun replied and gripped onto those fingers.

Sunggyu did the same and asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Woohyun swallowed harshly before answering, “You were with your parents and…”

“Sh,” Sunggyu cut him off. He didn’t want to hear any excuses, not when he saw the real answer. Woohyun wasn’t planning on ever telling him.

“But...” Woohyun started up again but Sunggyu ended it in just the same way.

“Sh,” he hushed the younger. He fell back onto the pillow. “I'm tired.”

“Then get some sleep,” Woohyun whispered back to the other, letting go of his hand and then patting it.

Sunggyu shook his head on the pillow, rolling it back and forth. “I'm tired of this,” he said to the other as he was still staring up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes. “Woohyun, I thought we were past this.” Or at least they thought they were or should be by this point. Was I really that mistaken? Sunggyu was started to feel rejected again, like he was in the bathroom that night, when Woohyun literally slipped out from under him. “Be honest with me, please,” he growled through gritted teeth. He was fed up.

“I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want you to get scared,” and there it was, the honesty. But it didn’t make Sunggyu feel better like he thought it would. If he was fed up before, now he was fed up to the point of vomiting.

And so the words came out that way: “What if I want those things?”

“You want to be scared?” Woohyun asked with a chuckle, turning this into a joke.

So Sunggyu just gave up. “I don't know what I'm saying,” he mumbled, taking his hand away and crossing his arms over his chest, or tried until he realized that he couldn’t with the I.V.. Sunggyu gave up once more, on the brink of giving up on life, and turned away from the other.

“Rest for a bit, hm?” Woohyun spoke with a groan. Sunggyu heard some creaking too. He must’ve gotten up. Sunggyu frowned. “I'll tell you when Kate and Yeol come back,” his voice sounded strained, so Sunggyu craned his neck to look back at him. Woohyun was just stretching. There was nothing wrong with him, except that weird smile that he was giving the elder now. “Is there anything else I can do for you?” Woohyun offered.

“Eung,” Sunggyu replied and then paused, waiting for the other to come closer, which he eventually did. Good, Sunggyu didn’t want to say this loudly. He could barely just say it in the first place: “Stay.” Woohyun pulled back. Why did he look so stunned by the request? Sunggyu tried not to seem discouraged by the reaction. “Hospitals are boring, and now that Sungyeol’s with Kate…”

“They’re gross,” Woohyun filled in with a bright and actually genuine smile. And mostly importantly, he sat back down.

“Right?!” Sunggyu exclaimed too excitedly and started coughing again. But he kept smiling through it. “I never thought Sungyeol would be so cheesy. I always knew Kate had it in her. But I’m disappointed in him,” he joked.

“Maybe Kate infected him,” Woohyun played along.

Sunggyu scoffed. “If being cheesy is a disease, then you’re patient zero,” he teased. “You’re the worst.”

“But the worst in the best way, right?” Woohyun asked.

Sunggyu paused for a second as he thought it over. “It depends on what you do,” he concluded.

Woohyun chuckled, a bit stiltedly. “Good answer,” he retorted. He then took in a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms up into the air. “You should get some sleep,” he spoke through a yawn. He dropped his arms. “And I’ll be right here, watching you sleep like you wanted me to,” Woohyun said cheekily.

“I never asked for that,” Sunggyu whined.

Woohyun put his hands on the armrest, about the lift himself out of the chair. “Should I leave then?” he challenged.

“No, no, no,” Sunggyu greatly denied. “Stay, but don’t look at me,” he ordered. Woohyun fell back in the chair and covered his eyes with his hands, ‘obeying.’ Sunggyu groaned but it turned into giggles, and then small coughs. “Just sleep too. You look like you need it too,” he suggested through wheezes.

Woohyun lowered his hands. And judging by that cheeky expression, Sunggyu knew that nothing good was going to come out of his mouth now. “Alright, let’s do that. Let’s sleep together.” And Sunggyu was right.

“Go to sleep so that I don’t have to listen to you anymore,” the elder retorted, closing his eyes.

“Okay!”

That nap didn’t last for more than an hour before Kate and Sungyeol came back with their booming voices and food. The first woke Sunggyu up and the second kept him awake. They chatted as they all ate, and Sunggyu was actually enjoying it, maybe too much. Laughing was painful now, but it also didn’t stop. He was just grateful to be alive, and with that man behind bars now, he’d stay that way for a long time. And he was happy.

Before they all knew it, the sun was setting and visiting hours were over. But one of them was allowed to stay the night with him. And that had already been decided for him. Woohyun pulled out an overnight bag and announced to the staff that he’d be staying behind. After that, Kate and Sungyeol left, leaving the other two behind in an awkward silence. Sunggyu and Woohyun just stared at each other for a few moments before Woohyun said that he’d get ready for bed and that Sunggyu should sleep. Sunggyu nodded and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, Woohyun had made a makeshift bed with the chairs and threw a blanket over himself. His eyes were closed, appearing to be asleep. Sunggyu shifted in the bed, trying to roll over onto his side, which seemed nearly impossible and very painful, but he still tried. He wanted to see the younger better.

“Stop moving,” when Sunggyu heard the younger speak, he did immediately freeze. Woohyun wasn’t fast asleep like he thought he was. The younger squirmed in his own ‘bed’ and lifted the blanket up higher. But he continued talking to the other with his eyes closed, “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“I want to see you,” Sunggyu whispered back. And while it did hurt to be on his side, it took him so much effort to get into this position that he wasn’t about to flip over again onto his back.

However, his comment got Woohyun to open his eyes. “Why?” the younger asked.

“Woohyun, do you like me?” Late at night in a shared hospital room probably wasn’t the best time to have this conversation. When had time ever been on their side? This conversation kept being put off over and over and over again. And in the meantime, it seemed like they’d both made their decision about how they should progress. It was now time to finally say it. But the problem now is how to get the wolf stop from barking and take this conversation seriously.

“As a friend? Yes,” Woohyun was ‘barking’ nonsense again and cheekily flashing his fangs.

So Sunggyu asked a more biting question, glaring at the other with his sharp eyes, “What about not as a friend?”

“As a person?” Woohyun asked. Sunggyu nodded slightly. The younger looked down at his blankets as he fiddled with them again. “You’re okay.”

“Forget it,” Sunggyu was annoyed. One more time, they were going to have to push back this conversation one more time. And hopefully then, Woohyun would take this, and Sunggyu, more seriously. For now, Sunggyu would try to sleep and forget about all of this (or pretend like it was all a dream). He rolled onto his back again, groaning all of the while.

After laying like that for a few minutes, Sunggyu assumed that Woohyun had already fallen back asleep, but he was wrong. There was a weight on his bed now, arms brushing up against his, and soft breaths caressing his face. Woohyun had leaned out of his chairs and propped himself onto Sunggyu’s bed. “Are you asleep?” he whispered.

“Well, I’m trying too,” Sunggyu grumbled back, screwing his eyes shut. He was too annoyed with the younger right now and didn’t want to give Woohyun anymore opportunity to test his patience anymore.

“Okay then, keep your eyes closed,” Woohyun responded. But Sunggyu did just the opposite. He opened them up as wide as he could and turned towards the younger, who was seriously a lot closer to him than he thought. Woohyun was so close that almost all that Sunggyu could see was his grin when he reprimanded the elder, “I told you, keep them closed.”

Sunggyu still wouldn’t. “You’re not going to do anything weird, are you?” he murmured back.

“Oh, I am,” the younger answered too honestly.

But it made Sunggyu snort and smile until his eyes were closed. And so he kept them that way. He shifted in his spot. “Okay, but if you do anything too weird, I will hit you,” he warned.

“I know,” Woohyun breathed out along with a sigh. “It’s just...easier like this.” Whatever Woohyun wanted to do must’ve been hard for him. He stayed still for a minute, then two, making Sunggyu feel incredibly awkward. Did he fall asleep? Or is he playing with me? What is he doing? Sunggyu almost opened his eyes to check but then he felt a hand brush against his bangs, moving the hair away from his face. Woohyun was holding his breath (he must’ve because Sunggyu couldn’t feel it) as he leaned in closer and closer. The tip of his nose brushed against Sunggyu’s hair, and he whispered into Sunggyu’s ear, “I like you.” Now Sunggyu held his breath as Woohyun pressed a kiss onto his temple. The younger than pulled away, his hand still moving Sunggyu’s hair. “So stop almost dying, okay?” Sunggyu felt Woohyun move again, and so did he. He moved his head to the side. And they both collided, painfully. Sunggyu’s nose was throbbing now. When he opened his eyes, and after blinking away tears, he saw Woohyun rubbing his own nose.

“Are you okay?” Sunggyu whispered.

“I guess that was too weird, huh?” Woohyun responded with his own question. He lowered his hand and sniffed a couple of times, as if he was trying to see if it still worked.

“What?” Sunggyu mumbled.

“You hit me,” Woohyun explained. He then took one long sniff, which was apparently too much for his sore nose now. He winced and began rubbing it again. “Aish. My nose.”

Sunggyu put his head back down and stared at the ceiling. “I didn’t mean to. That’s not what I wanted to do,” he spoke below his breath.

“What were you trying to do? Maim me?” Woohyun teased and then sneezed a couple of times after rubbing his nose too hard.

“No, I...I wanted to...I was trying,” Sunggyu was stumbling over his words and then decided to drop them all together. He closed his eyes, hoping that this was all just a dream. It wasn’t. When he opened them again, he saw the same drab hospital ceiling and heard Woohyun sneezing again.

“What?” Woohyun sniveled, prodding the other to continue.

“It’s not a good time,” Sunggyu knew that from the beginning and yet he still tried. “People are trying to sleep. We should sleep too.” He settled into the bed again and pulled his sheets up higher. “Good night.”

However, he couldn’t go to sleep because there was an incessant poking at his side. “When will it be a good time? Hm?” Woohyun hissed. Sunggyu opened his eyes again and glanced over at him. Woohyun was beaming. “When will it be a good time to kiss me back?” he asked. Sunggyu groaned and turned away. But Woohyun continued to gloat, “Yea, I knew. Why else would you be turning towards me at that moment?”

“Then why did you ask?” Sunggyu whined a bit too loudly. The other patient in the room began stirring. So he tucked his lips into his mouth and glared at Woohyun.

“I felt awkward. And I wanted to hear you say it,” Woohyun mumbled lowly, pouting. He wasn’t looking at Sunggyu anymore but down at his hands on the bed. Sunggyu watched him, eyes fixed on that pout. His own lips fell out from behind his teeth. Maybe now, he could do things right and...Woohyun raised his head again, “But it’s not the time for it now.” The other patient in the room was grumbling lowly as if agreeing with what Woohyun said. And so the younger just flashed Sunggyu a smile and returned back to his own ‘bed,’ snuggling underneath his blanket.

And Sunggyu watched him settle in and close his eyes. It wasn’t the right time for this. It was probably one of the worst times to do this, but Sunggyu didn’t know when he’d have the courage to say (even though Woohyun said it first). “Nam Woohyun?” he called out to the other in a light whisper.

“Hm?” the other hummed.

“I like you.”

Woohyun kept his eyes closed but grinned with that toothy, wolfish smile. “Go to sleep,” was all he said in response but his smile was more than enough to let Sunggyu go to sleep satisfied.

They were openly going to like each other and he couldn’t be upset by that. No, he was really really happy.

The next day, Sunggyu felt more awake and had more energy, which was good because he was hit with wave after wave of visitors. The police, Joohyuk and his partner, came to brief Sunggyu about the situation so far and of course to check up on him. The prosecution office was compiling a case against the attacker, which was proving to be more difficult than they supposed it would be. The cashier refused to confess and denied being involved with the attacks. So after being discharged, Sunggyu would have to go into the station and give an official statement. For now, the attacker was being held for attempted manslaughter, and everyone was much safer for that.

Next, the Conversational English Club came. It seemed like Sungyeol and Kate gave them a briefing of their own. No one asked what happened. No one talked about the arrest, even though it was the hot topic of conversation recently. They just all happily chatted about mundane things and gave Sunggyu snacks. And they left after a little over an hour so that Sunggyu could get some rest.

The woman whose car hit him came and begged for forgiveness. She’d only learned how to drive recently in order to take her mother-in-law to her doctor’s appointments. And now she was scared to drive ever again. She even promised Sunggyu that she wouldn’t. Sunggyu told her that it was a needless worry. It wasn’t her fault, and he was still alive, just a bit broken. Sunggyu hoped that she left with a changed mind, but he wasn’t sure. However, she did leave with his forgiveness, and that was enough for now.

The final visitor wasn’t as tiring as she was healing. His mother appeared in the doorway and Sunggyu unconsciously called out for her. She came back to Seoul as quickly as she could. She lamented about how Sunggyu couldn’t even stay safe for one more day before coming home. “Seoul is a very dangerous place!” she concluded. She also succeeded in getting Sunggyu to promise to come home once he was discharged. Sadly, given everything, Sunggyu would still have to withdraw from school for awhile. And there was no better place for him to heal than at home, even though he’d be leaving behind some things and people that he would rather not.

When everyone left for him to sleep, Sunggyu called for a nurse to help him into a wheelchair. Joohyuk told Sunggyu that Jinyoung was also at this hospital a few wards away. The cop visited Jinyoung before going into Sunggyu’s room. It was a short visit, given that Jinyoung was comatose. “Possibly brain dead,” Joohyuk added. “But I’m not a doctor, so who knows for sure.” The cop ‘told’ Jinyoung that the culprit had been arrested, and then he left to see Sunggyu.

Ever since then, Sunggyu couldn’t get the image of the neighbor out of his mind, Jinyoung’s warm face, and then that dark alley where he was found. Maybe seeing Jinyoung would put his mind at ease.

The nurse gave him directions to the ward, and Sunggyu wheeled himself over there, by himself. It was the first time that he was entirely alone since entering the hospital. And he kept waffling back and forth whether he liked it or not. He felt like he didn’t have to control his reactions anymore; he felt less restrained. But then again, he was exposed. So many eyes were on him and not a person by his side to deflect them. He found himself wishing that he had his mom by his side again, that she had never left. He thought about turning back, but quickly refuted it. No, I have to go. I have to do this. I have to see him.

He’s like me. He could’ve been me. I need to see this.

And before he realized it, he was in front of Jinyoung’s room. This is it. Sunggyu gathered up the courage to go in, but right as he was about to, his hands froze, hovering over the wheels. Someone in the room was crying. I thought...I thought he was in a coma. Ah, wait. That’s a woman crying! But a woman visiting Jinyoung? Huh? Is there another patient in the room? Sunggyu rolled himself closer to the room to see, but he was stopped again before he was at the doorway. He heard a man’s voice.

“Doctor, we’ve decided to do it,” Sunggyu overheard. “We were waiting for the arrest so that he could pass away in peace. His parents will come by later tonight to say their goodbyes.”

“Oh,” Sunggyu assumed that was the doctor. “Since you were his guardian I assumed that his parents had passed away.”

“No, there were some circumstances that caused a rift between them, but…” the first man sighed. “But they’re coming later today. They promised. So after that…” he couldn’t finish that sentence but the doctor did for him.

“Yes, after that, we will take him off of life support and he should pass away peacefully in his sleep.” What? Sunggyu froze, and the soft crying in the room turned into a wail, which grew louder and louder until a woman came out of the room.

The woman took no notice of Sunggyu, who was trying to back up down the hall. She leaned against the wall, hands to her face as she was trying hard to control herself. Sunggyu knew that he probably shouldn’t watch, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was crying so bitterly. She must be his sister. She must really loved Jinyoung. After a few heaves she lowered her hands and threw her head back against the wall, over and over again. “Get a hold of yourself,” she reprimanded herself. “Why are you like this? He's all yours now.” Wait a second. Sunggyu cocked his head as he glanced down at her hand. There was a golden band around her ring finger. She’s not the sister but...The woman broke into another sob and she covered her eyes with her arm. “But...don’t want Jinyoung to go. Aish! What is this?” With that lament, she rushed down the hallway. She had to get away from the situation, from Jinyoung and her husband.

When Sunggyu rolled himself back up into the room, the doctor left along with the nurse. So when Sunggyu peered into the room, all that he saw was Jinyoung laying in his bed with his lover by his side, the same lover that Sunggyu often caught sneaking out of his apartment. Sunggyu glanced down the hall again, where the woman had gone. The three of them shared such a twisted fate. Sunggyu probably couldn’t begin to understand it. Actually he was having a hard time understanding any of this. Sunggyu peered into the room again. The lover was holding Jinyoung’s hand in both of his and kissed him tenderly on the forehead. If you love him, then...The man was now brushing his hair away from Jinyoung’s sleeping face, probably similarly to how Woohyun did it the night before. How could you do this?

Sunggyu rolled himself down the hall while saying a prayer for all of their souls, for Jinyoung so that he could pass safely and for the lover who’d have to live with this decision for the rest of his life.

I shouldn’t have come. I shouldn’t have seen that.

Luckily for his sanity, he had one more visitor when he came back into his room. Myungsoo was there with a box of red ginseng and a great, warm hug for Sunggyu. He was able to distract his hyung with tales from his training at his company and of the celebrities that he met. His visit didn’t last long though. Myungsoo had a lesson to attend. Before he left, he promised to visit Sunggyu again when he was discharged, more specifically he said, “I’ll see you at home.”

That was right. Sunggyu was going to be discharged tomorrow. He hadn’t thought yet about where he was going to stay. With him behind bars, Sunggyu didn’t need to stay at Kate’s place anymore, but going ‘home’ didn’t sit well with him. Then again, it would only be for a night or two before he’d be actually home, in Jeonju. I can handle that. So Sunggyu agreed to see Myungsoo then. And with that, the actor in training left. Sunggyu was alone once more, with nothing more to do but to dwell on everything that had passed, until someone else came to relieve him.

That someone was his mother. Woohyun didn’t come back to see him.

But Woohyun came the following day, when Sunggyu was being discharged. Or at least he thought Woohyun was there. There were a lot of people in the room. His mother, Kate, and Sungyeol were there, and the other patient in the room was being visited by his family too. His doctor there, giving him instructions and performing one last check-up before sending him on his way. Several nurses came by to give him their goodbye. Before he knew it, Sunggyu was being pushed out the door. He could see Kate, Sungyeol, and his mother in front of him, so the one pushing had to be Woohyun. But why was he being so quiet? Whenever Sunggyu tried to look back to see him, someone in the front would call out for his attention. Those three, they seemed to be more excited about Sunggyu’s discharge than he was. They were talking non-stop and kidding around. Sunggyu tried to take part in it, but he also felt like he was struggling to keep his head above water. If it was possible to be too doted upon, it was happening right now. Sunggyu didn’t know who to pay attention to, what question to answer, or where he should even look.

And now he was being helped into Sungyeol’s car, or gingerly shoved into the front seat. Sunggyu looked about him, watching where everyone else was going. Sungyeol was driving, of course. Kate sat behind her boyfriend. His mother was right next to her, in the middle seat, which Sunggyu thought was weird, until his mother scooted forward so that she was practically in between Sungyeol and Sunggyu, as close to her son as she could get. Sunggyu smiled at her and then looked forward. That would mean that he’s behind me, he concluded and pulled down the visor so that he could use the mirror to check the seat behind him.

Sungyeol flipped the visor back up. “Trust me, hyung. It’s better that you don’t see what you look like now,” he teased and then got ready to back up the car. Sunggyu responded with a glare.That wasn’t what I was trying to do, and I look fine, he bit his cheek to hold that back. Okay, so he didn’t look ‘fine’ per se, but for a man that went through what he did, Sunggyu looked amazing.

But Sunggyu didn’t have much time for glaring. His mother was talking to him again, this time about all of the things that they could do when Sunggyu came back to Jeonju. That’s when he felt a kick hit the back of his seat. Yup, Woohyun was definitely behind him, and this was the first time he’d heard about Sunggyu leaving. He didn’t even know about Sunggyu planning to leave before getting hit by the car. Is he mad? Sunggyu tried to look behind him but was only met with his mother’s smile. He faced forward again. He probably is. I’d be mad too.

No matter how he was feeling, Woohyun mumbled out an apology, and Sunggyu swore that those were the first words that Woohyun said to him all day.

If Sunggyu was struggling to keep his head above water when he was discharged, then he was drowning when he got to his apartment. Everyone was in a flurry to settle him in. Since Sunggyu lived on the upper floors, they abandoned the wheelchair and Sungyeol carried him up the stairs on his back. Once inside, Sunggyu was plopped into a seat in his kitchen, and his mother insisted on showing him all of the dishes that she prepared for him and how to heat them up.

“But I’m not even going to be here for that much longer,” Sunggyu whined. “Why did you get this much food?”

“If you don’t finish it, give it to Kate,” his mother reasoned. “I needed something to do while you slept. So I filled the fridge.”

“Okay,” Sunggyu yielded.

“Auntie,” a loud voice came from the living room. Sunggyu whipped his head around to see who it was, but it was just Sungyeol. “We have to go soon if you want to make your bus,” Sungyeol reminded her.

“Ah that’s right,” the mother mumbled under her breath, but it was obvious that she didn’t want to leave just yet. “Baby, do you think you’ll be okay? I can stay a bit longer until you’re ready to come back with me.”

Sunggyu shook his head. “You need to be home now. I’ll be fine,” he tried to assure her. “He can’t hurt me anymore.”

“That’s true, but I still feel anxious about this,” she responded, not leaving her spot by her son’s side.

“Don’t worry,” now Kate had popped into the kitchen. “We’ll make sure that he’s very well taken care of.” Her words seemed to put the mother at ease, and the old woman began to collect her things. Kate helped. “Come on, let’s go! Sunggyu will be with you soon, right?”

“Right,” Sunggyu answered in a distracted voice. He was searching for the only person not in his kitchen. But his search was cut short when he was pulled into his mother’s embrace. They said their goodbyes, and then she left with Kate and Sungyeol for the bus station.

Now Sunggyu was the only one left in his kitchen. And he seemed to be the only one in his apartment, until his bathroom door opened up and Woohyun stepped out of it, rubbing his hands dry.

Their eyes met for what seemed to be the first time that day, and Woohyun quickly broke it and looked about the apartment, confused. “Where did everyone go?” he stammered.

“To drop my mom off,” Sunggyu was curt in his reply.

“O-oh,” Woohyun muttered. He was still only a foot outside of the bathroom. “I didn’t get to say goodbye to her.” He then looked back up to Sunggyu and let out an embarrassed chuckle. “I’m not even sure if she knows who I am.”

“She will,” Sunggyu assured him, and that seemed to make the younger relax. Woohyun began walking towards him in any case. But Sunggyu made him stop again. “Hey.”

“What?” Woohyun blubbered and froze in his step.

“If I was brain dead and on life support, would you pull the plug on me?”

“What?” Woohyun asked, blinking in disbelief. He walked into the kitchen, probably thinking that he didn’t hear him correctly. But he did. And Sunggyu repeated the question. Woohyun still seemed just as flabbergasted, but tried to give him an answer, “I don't know. I really don't know. I mean, guessing about the situation is far, far, far different from living through it. I can't tell you what decision I'd make then.” Woohyun was completely honest, but Sunggyu probably would’ve preferred a white lie right now in order to stop having these dark thoughts plaguing him. Why? Why couldn’t he get those thoughts out of his head? And why couldn’t Woohyun just say ‘no’? “But I can tell you this,” Woohyun interrupted his thoughts. His hand went down to grab Sunggyu’s. “If anything else bad were to happen to you, I'd die.”

The elder scoffed and threw the other’s hand away, “Don't exaggerate.”

“I'm not! I would! I'd die!” Woohyun exclaimed, hands to his chest, and he dropped to one knee at Sunggyu’s side. “You make my heart race, and more often than not, it's not in a good way.”

And Sunggyu could see that. Even now, Woohyun looked flushed and was breathing heavily. He was anxious just because of Sunggyu’s question. And he didn’t even know what kind of shape that Woohyun was in when he heard Sunggyu was hit by a car. No, Sunggyu did. I don’t think my heart can take it anymore, that was what Woohyun said when Sunggyu woke up after his surgery. I might actually send this kid into an early grave.

“I'm sorry,” Sunggyu murmured, hanging his head.

“No. I, ugh, I'm sorry,” Woohyun apologized as he stood back up. “I'm not blaming you. None of this is your fault,” he grew more flustered at every word. “If anything, I’m…”

Sunggyu stopped him: “Can we not argue about who is more sorry?” Now he was starting to feel guilty that Woohyun felt guilty and this could really be an endless cycle of apologies.

“Yea, I'm sorry,” it came out as a reflex. As soon as he realized what he said, Woohyun swore, “Aish, sorry!” He then plopped down into the seat next to Sunggyu, tearing at his hair with his hands. “Oh my god, I can't stop! Sorry!” Sunggyu laughed. Now Woohyun was riding through that endless cycle by himself. Sunggyu should just pull him out of it, but it was also cute to watch. However, Woohyun, piqued by Sunggyu’s laughter, managed to scramble out of the cycle on his own. “What?”

Now, right now with Woohyun staring at him with that frustrated pout, with their faces this close, and with no one else nearby, it was finally the perfect time. And Sunggyu couldn’t hold it back anymore. He kissed him, softly, perfectly for their first time. When he pulled away, Woohyun asked, “What was that for?”

It would take too long to explain, so Sunggyu shrugged and said, “Just wanted to.”

Woohyun’s gaze fluttered back and forth from the other’s eyes to his lips. “Do you want to do it again?” he asked in a low voice.

“Hm, nope,” Sunggyu pretended like he put some thought into that question, but he really didn’t. He just wanted to make Woohyun’s heart race in a good way, and judging by Woohyun’s peeved but happy expression, he did. Woohyun’s heart was going to be just fine from now on. Sunggyu’s too. They'd be just fine together. But maybe they'd be even better somewhere else.

“Woohyun, can you help me get to my bed?”

Sunggyu’s apartment was small. He had very few places to sit that weren't the floor or the chairs at his kitchen table. So the two of them would have to make do with sitting on his bed, which they couldn't do very well. Sunggyu took up a lot of space, with his cast and legs outstretched as he sat across the bed with his back against the wall. Maybe he took up too much space because Woohyun was just standing there, watching Sunggyu settle in. He didn't even move when Sunggyu patted the spot next to him, so Sunggyu just acted like he was wiping his hands on the sheets rather than silently asking for Woohyun to sit next to him.

“What?” Sunggyu grumbled, now rubbing hands on his thighs. Wow, they were really sweaty now.

“Why did you ask that question? About life support?”

Sunggyu stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and sighed when their gazes met. He then nodded over to the spot next to him. “If you sit down with me, I'll tell you,” he bargained. Woohyun followed through with it, maybe too eagerly. He climbed onto the bed on all fours and when he settled down, he looked up to the other in anticipation. Sunggyu couldn't even smile at that. His mind was already back to that hospital ward. He began, “I went to see Jinyoung…”

Sunggyu told Woohyun everything. He described Jang Jinyoung, what kind of person the neighbor was and who he loved. He revealed to Woohyun that Jinyoung’s attack made Sunggyu realize that he could be next, made him paranoid. Through Jinyoung, he found out that the cashier wasn't just an attacker but a killer. And things could've gone so so much worse for Sunggyu. And it made him deadly curious. If he was comatose, who would be at his side? How would they talk about him? What if he went to sleep and could never wake up again? Sunggyu couldn't stop himself from imagining him as Jinyoung in that hospital bed, hooked up to wires and unable to breathe on his own. Would anyone cry for him? Would anyone miss him?

Okay, so he didn't say all of that. Sunggyu was barely able to narrate what he saw. It was hard. However, he did say that he related to Jinyoung and he couldn't stop thinking about what happened. He just hoped Woohyun was able to read in between the lines.

Sunggyu looked over to see the other’s reaction to all of this and saw that Woohyun was crying, again. The younger had tried it best to hide it, lowering his head and biting his cheeks. But Sunggyu still could see the tears streaming down his face and the snot coming out of his nose. Sunggyu then pulled down his sleeve and used it as a tissue to wipe Woohyun dry. And for some reason, the younger looked up at him, dumbfounded. Did I do something wrong? Sunggyu put his hand back down and remarked, “You really do cry a lot.” It probably wasn't the time for teasing but Sunggyu did it anyway (to deflect from whatever he might've done wrong by doing another). “You have more tears than anyone I know.”

Woohyun faces forward and wiped his own tears away. “It's sad,” he mumbled below his breath and then sniffed before continuing. “For everyone.”

“Eung,” Sunggyu grunted. And his mind went back again, seeing himself in that hospital bed being pulled further and further into that inescapable darkness and void.

“I also don't cry this much, typically,” Woohyun defended himself, oblivious to just how far off Sunggyu now was. “But with everything lately…” he interrupted himself with a great sob.

“Huh?” Sunggyu murmured and looked over at the other, who now had given up on hiding. Woohyun was a giant blubbering mess. It seemed like Woohyun knew exactly how he felt. Woohyun was crying a little too bitterly for a complete stranger. He's crying for me. “Aigoo,” Sunggyu cooed at him with a smile on his face. He put his arm around the younger, pulling him into a hug. And Woohyun automatically wrapped his arms around the other and nestled into Sunggyu’s neck. The elder snorted. “Such a baby” He rest his head on the others. Sunggyu laughed again, recalling a time when he used to think Woohyun could eat him alive, but now he was letting this little wolf cub nuzzle into his neck. And Sunggyu was only afraid that Woohyun wouldn’t stop crying. That was a major worry now. His smile turned into a grimace as he nuzzled his cheek into the black hair and tightened his hold. What if he doesn’t stop? Sunggyu felt guilty for wanting Woohyun to cry in the first place.

Woohyun didn’t know how good he was for Sunggyu right now, and maybe Sunggyu hadn’t fully realized it either. Through taking care of someone else, especially someone as easy as Woohyun, Sunggyu was able to take his mind off of things. He forgot all about his hospital bed. And how could Sunggyu continue to think about that when Woohyun was grumbling into his shoulder about not being baby. But Sunggyu wanted to show Woohyun just how much a baby he was, more specifically his baby, and pecked him on the head.

Woohyun snickered. “You’re really affectionate,” he commented as he pulled himself away. He even released his arms as he sat back up. But Sunggyu didn’t want to let go of the other just yet and kept his arm around the younger.

“You sound surprised,” Sunggyu grumbled. He didn’t really know how to respond to something like that.

“Of course I am! Have you met you?” Woohyun teased the other, laughing. Once he saw that he hit a nerve, Woohyun swallowed down his laughter and nudged the other. “I'm kidding,” he admitted. “I just didn't expect us to be like this.”

“I didn't expect to be the one to always initiate skinship,” Sunggyu retorted, raising his voice.  “This isn’t good. Do I have to kiss you first every time? What if I don’t want to? Will you never—”

Woohyun kissed his lips closed. “You talk too much,” he spoke in a low voice. He grinned. “Happy?”

“Happy,” Sunggyu repeated softly.  

“Me too,” Woohyun said before going in for another kiss. He must’ve taken Sunggyu’s words like a challenge. He was going to initiate skinship too, and he was proving it now. One of his hands was cupping Sunggyu’s face as he leaned in, kissing him harder. Sadly, Woohyun used his other hand to steady himself, right on Sunggyu’s thigh.

Sunggyu pulled away, wincing. “A-ah, ow,” he spoke through gritted teeth. “Watch it.”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Woohyun apologized and retreated back to his seat, hands in his lap.

“It’s alright,” Sunggyu assured him. He reached down and held one of Woohyun’s hands. “Just be more careful.”

That seemed to encourage Woohyun enough to try again. “Like this?” he asked and then brought their joined hands to his lips. He kissed Sunggyu’s. And Sunggyu thought that was just sweet, until Woohyun didn’t stop. Woohyun pecked his hand a few more times before his lips started traveling down to his wrist, then past it. He was almost halfway up Sunggyu’s forearm before the elder shook him off.

“N-no, that’s weird,” Sunggyu stammered. He didn’t really know what Woohyun was trying to do. Was he trying to annoy him or get him flustered? Because he ended up doing both. How is he like this...how is he so...

“Okay,” Woohyun gave up again with a small chuckle. He was embarrassed too; the blush on his cheeks showed it. The both of them were getting so worked up over something so little (as usual). And Sunggyu really liked how they were.

“Do it like this,” he instructed the other. He cupped Woohyun’s cheeks with both of his hands. His thumbs brushed against those cuts decorating them. He brushed his lips against them, careful not to apply too much pressure. When he was done with that, he tried to catch Woohyun’s eyes that were darting all over the place, and when they finally met, Woohyun kissed him and kissed him again, trying to mimic all of the tenderness that Sunggyu had showed him and giving it back tenfold.

Eventually, though, Woohyun did end up pressing against a sore spot again. It wasn’t hard when his whole body was one giant sore spot. He wanted to apologize and tried to, but he yawned through it. “I’m worn out,” he admitted.

“Kissing wore you out?!” Woohyun picked up.

Yes, but Sunggyu wasn’t about to confess that. “Life wears me out.”

“Sleep,” Woohyun ordered him. “I’ll come back later, after class.” That was right. School. Sunggyu sat there in a daze as Woohyun pressed a kiss to the side of his head and left.

School...I have to withdraw...I have to go home, to Jeonju.

Those thoughts didn’t keep Sunggyu up for long. It was already a settled thing. No amount of thinking was going to change the fact that he was going home, away from all of this. So he slept and slept, until he was woken up by someone shaking him. He didn’t know who it was because three people were hovering over him now, the usual suspects. Kate then left his bedside to heat up some dinner for all of them while Sungyeol and Woohyun pulled Sunggyu up. They insisted that Sunggyu had to eat, and he could deal with that.

But there was one thing that he didn’t know if he could deal with. When the three of them were fixing to leave for the night, Sunggyu held Woohyun back by his sleeve. “Can you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone right now. I really don’t want to be alone.”

Thankfully Woohyun didn’t say anything besides, “Okay.”

...until they actually laid down to sleep.

“When you asked me to stay the night, I didn't imagine that we’d be like this.”

Woohyun was on the floor, yet again and laying on top of another dusty futon that Sunggyu happened to have lying around. And Sunggyu was nice and comfortable, laying on top of his own bed and next to the person he liked. His bed was just a mattress on the ground without a box spring. It was almost like they were laying right next to each other, so Sunggyu didn’t understand why Woohyun was sulking so much right now. But Woohyun was, with his arms across his chest and a deep pout on his lips as he rolled over to face the other. Sunggyu only had to gesture to his broken body to give Woohyun his answer. Woohyun rolled back around, staring up at the ceiling, huffing and grumbling under his breath, which all made Sunggyu laugh until it hurt. “What did you expect?” Sunggyu asked.

“Cuddles.”

Sunggyu scoffed in disbelief and started shaking his head. “I can't believe you just said that. Out loud,” he mumbled and then covered his face with his hands.

“You asked,” Woohyun retorted in a cheeky tone. At least it sounded like he was smiling again.

Sunggyu lowered his hands. “I regret asking,” Sunggyu came back. He let a heavy sigh. “How can you even cuddle with someone covered in plaster?”

There was the sound of sheets rustling and Woohyun muttering, “I think I can figure out how. Just let me.”

“It was rhetorical! Get down!” Sunggyu yelped and turned towards the other, but Woohyun was just laying down on his side, facing the elder, grinning mischievously.

“I was kidding. I wasn't going to get up,” he confessed. He then scooted closer to Sunggyu and quickly lifted his head to kiss him on the nose before he flipped onto his back again. He gave out a contented sigh. “This is nice. Even though I always end up on the floor when I spend the night with you, it's still nice. It would be even nicer if I was in a bed. I'm not about to throw you on the floor but…”

“Woohyun?” Sunggyu interjected.

“Yes?”

“Go to bed,” his voice was warmer than his words. Sunggyu was smiling with his eyes closed.

“Okay,” Woohyun chirped. There were more rustling going on. Sunggyu’s smile widened. Either Woohyun was having a difficult time getting comfortable for he was too excited to sleep. “Good night, Sunggyu.” Yea, Woohyun was excited.

“Night, Hyun,” Sunggyu said back.

“I like you.”

Sunggyu sputtered. “I like you too. Now be quiet.”

“Ah!” Sunggyu snapped awake, bolted upright, soaked in sweat. All he could hear was his heartbeat in his ears and his heavy pants. At least he was breathing, even though he felt like he couldn’t. Air was running away from him and he couldn’t catch it. His hands began roaming around, searching not for his lost breath but for something else. He’s not here. Sunggyu’s eyes acclimated to the darkness and saw that to be true. Woohyun’s not here!

But he was! Sunggyu had just seen him, the cashier, the killer. Sunggyu tried to run away from him. But there was no escape. He was just running through endless stacks of books, like a labyrinth. And then, and then, the killer took a hold of him, grabbing Sunggyu by the ankle and dragging him away. When he let go of the ankle, he grabbed onto something else and Sunggyu felt it being plunged into his heart.

Sunggyu was rubbing that spot now. Nothing was there. Was it all a dream? It felt too real. Or did he really die and this dark place was…

“Oh, are you awake?”

Light flooded into the room as Woohyun walked out of the bathroom door. Sunggyu still couldn’t make him out. The bright light made him look nothing more like a dark shadow. But his voice was enough. Sunggyu dropped his hand from his chest. It was a dream.

“Are you okay?” Woohyun asked. He sounded more worried this time because Sunggyu wasn’t answering.

So the elder did this time “Eung.” He was alive and not alone and that was enough.

Woohyun crawled onto his ‘bed’ and laid down. “Go back to sleep,” he urged the other and brushed his cheek with the back of his hand. Sunggyu immediately snatched that hand. “Oh.” The elder brought that hand to his lips and kissed it. Feeling Woohyun, smelling him, helped to bring him back to reality and calm him down. Everything’s alright. He’s in jail. That’s right, he is. I’m okay. I’m safe.

“Huh?” he muttered. Woohyun had brought their hands over to him and kissed Sunggyu’s.

“Everything’s okay. I’m here. Go back to sleep,” he whispered and kissed the hand again.

“O-oh,” Sunggyu replied. He dragged Woohyun’s hand back to his side and wrapped his other hand around it before tucking it under his cheek.

After that, he slept just fine.

The next morning, when Sunggyu woke up, the futon next to him was folded up and shoved along the side of the wall. But Woohyun was still in the apartment. Sunggyu could hear him in the kitchen, and it took a long while for Sunggyu to hobble over there. But when he did, he greeted Woohyun with a tired but warm smile. Woohyun was preparing food for the both of them (or was preparing food for himself and now was taking things back out to make some for Sunggyu too), and he asked how Sunggyu slept. As he was sitting down, Sunggyu remarked that he slept very well that night.

And they both knew that was a lie.

Without a word, Woohyun began to place dishes in front of Sunggyu and his empty seat. Sunggyu was almost too afraid to touch the food in front of him. Almost. He was very hungry and it wasn’t safe to take medicine on an empty stomach. So he started eating but watched Woohyun closely as the younger made himself some instant coffee and then sat in front of Sunggyu, rubbing away the sleep from his eyes. “I’m going to say something, and promise that you won’t get mad at me,” Woohyun announced after putting both of his hands on his cup.

Sunggyu put down his spoon. “What? What is it?”

Woohyun raised an eyebrow. “Promise?” he asked again. But Sunggyu did no such thing, so Woohyun forced him into it. He leaned over the table, grabbed Sunggyu’s hand, raised it so that they could link pinkies in a pinky swear. Proud Woohyun sat back down and pointed at the other. “You promised.” Apparently, Sunggyu’s compliance was enough for him.

“Whatever. Just tell me what it is,” Sunggyu mumbled back. All of this waiting was making him anxious, and he really didn’t need to be more anxious than he already was.

It was more nerve-wrecking that Woohyun wouldn’t make eye contact with him, even though Sunggyu tried. The younger just had his eyes down at his cup and that thin, apprehensive smile on his lips, quivering at the corner. “I think you need to talk to someone, a professional, about this,” he finally said. He raised his head, letting his smile fall to a frown. “I don’t think I can help you. I don’t know how.”

“Woohyun-ah, this isn’t your problem,” Sunggyu was stern. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared past the other.

“You promised that you wouldn’t get angry,” Woohyun reminded him.

“I didn’t promise,” Sunggyu pointed out, ending with a scoff. He looked the other, up and down, with his tongue in his cheek, before adding, “And I’m only upset that you think that you need to fix me. This...this is mine.”

Woohyun huffed, “I just want to help.”

Sunggyu uncrossed his arms, forced a thin smile onto his face, and reached over to pat Woohyun’s hand. “You’re doing enough, trust me,” he assured him. Then he pulled his hand away. “I have to do the rest on my own.” Those words appeared to convince Woohyun a little, but he still wasn’t won over. Woohyun looked helpless because all he wanted to do was help, ironically, but Sunggyu didn’t want to be too reliant on him. It would be so easy to be. Woohyun could be selfless and Sunggyu could be selfish. But that wouldn’t be good for their relationship. It wouldn’t be fair. Although Sunggyu seemed like he was being selfish now, (for one, he had to be) it would be better for the both of them in the long run, and Sunggyu wanted to go the distance with Woohyun, all the way to the end.

“But you’re right. I should see someone,” Sunggyu added, showing that he wasn’t offended by the suggestion. “I’ll go see someone later. I promise.”

Woohyun lit up when he heard the last statement, but then his expression darkened again with distrust. “When?” he challenged the other, making sure that Sunggyu really indeed was planning to go and wasn’t just dismissing all of this.

“When I’m in Jeonju, I’ll start then,” Sunggyu answered honestly.

“Good,” Woohyun muttered. He then began nodding with his lips tucked into his mouth, and kept nodding until his head was hanging over his cup again. “When you’re in Jeonju…” he repeated in a low whisper. He looked up at the other. “That’ll be soon, won’t it?”

“Eung, tomorrow,” Sunggyu responded. He flashed the other an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry.” Woohyun cocked his head at that, so Sunggyu added, “I’m sorry that I’m leaving, when we…” When we just became a we, that was the only way Sunggyu knew how to describe them now.

“Eh, don’t be.” Sunggyu was surprised by how casual Woohyun was being and almost playful. Woohyun waved his hand in the air as to bat away the other’s worries. “I understand. You should be home with family,” Woohyun explained.

Sunggyu was confused. Woohyun was positively sad a moment ago, but he was really okay with it? I guess that could happen, he thought as he cocked his head. “In any case,” Sunggyu drawled out. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

Woohyun chuckled with his cup to his lips. “I was mad?” he asked before taking a sip.

“You kicked my seat,” Sunggyu tried to stir up the memory, but it didn’t work. Woohyun narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Yesterday. In the car.”

“Oh,” Woohyun gasped, finally remembering. He put down the cup and explained, “That was an accident. I didn’t have a lot of leg room.”

“Oh,” Sunggyu muttered, followed by a groan. Apparently he wasn’t done with misunderstanding Woohyun. Would he ever completely understand him?

“Look, Sunggyu,” Woohyun called him out of his mind. He was grinning at Sunggyu, genuinely, and not that weird smile Sunggyu didn’t like. He doesn’t mind. “I knew that this wasn’t going to be easy. I mean, I didn’t expect you to leave town indefinitely like this, but I knew that we wouldn’t have an easy time of things,” he revealed. He then bowed his head a bit, swallowing harshly. Sunggyu kept a close eye on him. He gave this a lot of thought. Woohyun continued, with his eyes still dropped, “For the both of us. I’m not going to be easy for you either.”

“I know,” now that Sunggyu understood. He understood very well, so much so that he had a proud smile on his face.

Woohyun raised his gaze, completely serious, and shook his head. “I don’t think you do.”

“I know. I do,” Sunggyu stated, hitting the table for emphasis. He might’ve not understood Woohyun perfectly just yet (but he had time to learn); however, he knew this: Woohyun was lonely and thirsty for affection. Sunggyu sensed his loneliness when he caught the other eating cream bread at the convenience store and watching people walk by. And Sunggyu knew just how starved Woohyun was for affection from the very beginning. Anybody can see that you being ‘cute’ is just a desperate cry for attention. But Sunggyu never knew that he’d ever be sad that he couldn’t be the one to give it to Woohyun.

There was one more thing that Sunggyu learned, more recently: Woohyun could be easily misunderstood for being happy and okay with things when he really wasn’t. Woohyun wanted you to misunderstand him in that way. And right now he almost had Sunggyu fooled. Sunggyu grinned as he put one more piece of the Woohyun puzzle together. He’s going to let me go, but he isn’t happy about it.

But the smile fell away. Sunggyu knew all of this. His eyes traced over Woohyun’s face, stopping at every cut. One of the major reasons why Woohyun was probably sad to have him go (and Sunggyu was sad for this too), was that Woohyun was losing the one person that he could talk about this whole ordeal with. And even with Sunggyu, that conversation didn’t come easily. But he needs to talk. Sunggyu sighed before continuing, “I know you, and that’s why I think you should see someone too, especially if I’m not here for you to talk with.”

Woohyun tapped his finger against the table for a few seconds before answering, “That’s not a bad idea.” And there was that shaky smile. Yea, he needs to go.

“I know that too,” Sunggyu responded cockily, which made Woohyun scoff and then chuckle. Sunggyu chuckled too. And then he added another cocky statement, “We’re going to make this work.” He slapped his hand on the table, acting as if it was a done deal.

Woohyun mimicked him and kept laughing as he agreed, “Yea, I think we will.” He then flashed his fangs at Sunggyu, which made him more intrigued than scared. “So for now,” Woohyun drawled out as he dragged his chair over to Sunggyu’s side, until his knees knocked into the other’s leg. He sat up a bit, hovering out of his chair, and pecked the other on the lips. He then sat back down, very proud with what he’d done. “We should make the most of our time together,” Woohyun finished in a low whisper.

“Good idea,” Sunggyu agreed, and he didn’t have to lean too far to kiss the other. Woohyun met him in the middle, still being careful, so the kiss didn’t last for long. But Woohyun stayed close, very close. When Sunggyu spoke, his lips were almost brushing against his skin. “I think I might actually miss you.”

Now Woohyun moved away and hit the other lightly with the back of his hand. “Do you have to say it like that?” he chided the other.

Sunggyu screwed his eyes shut and swallowed hard before confessing, “I’m going to miss you.”

“Me too,” Woohyun replied, almost cutting him off, like he was impatient to say it himself. Or maybe he was impatient for something else. Woohyun grabbed the back of the other’s neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. And Sunggyu reached over to hold him there. He didn’t want Woohyun to always be afraid of hurt him, even though Sunggyu was whimpering in pain a little now. In the end, Woohyun was right. They should make the most of their time left together. When’s the next time we can be like this?

Woohyun leaned away. Now Sunggyu whined for another reason. “Your breath stinks,” Woohyun teased.

“Yours too,” Sunggyu shot back but still went in to continue their kiss.

Woohyun broke it again. “Let’s get cleaned up and get you packed,” he suggested as he dragged his chair back and stood up. Woohyun started to clear the table. And Sunggyu pouted as he watched the other move about and move further and further away from him. It that they had to spend their precious time doing things like that. Then Sunggyu winced realizing that he still had to withdraw from school. So much to do when I just want to stay and...do nothing. He groaned.

“Do you need help getting up?”

“Ah, no, I can do that on my own,” Sunggyu refused his help, for that. He then gave the other the cutest grin that he could. He could see Woohyun being drawn into it. “Woohyun, are you understanding enough to pack for me?”

Woohyun scoffed. “No,” and with that he left the kitchen. Sunggyu huffed. And I thought he liked me. After he thought that, Woohyun poked his head back into the kitchen, “But Kate might be!”

“Oh, good idea!” There’s a reason why I like you.

After Sunggyu was cleaned up, or as clean as he could be, Kate and Sungyeol were at his place. They were going to help pack so that Sunggyu and Woohyun could go to the University and do what needed to be done there. While they were out, they had lunch together. Sunggyu asked if they could. So in probably the worst visual state of their lives, Sunggyu and Woohyun went on their first date, maybe. Neither of them said it was, but Sunggyu was pretty sure it was.

When they came back, Sunggyu hoped that the packing would be done, but he came in to see Sungyeol and Kate both trying to fit into one of his sweatshirts together. And they eventually did. “Look! Couple tee!” Sungyeol exclaimed and raised his arms, which made the sweatshirt swallow his girlfriend whole. “Oops!”

“Stop it!” Sunggyu yelled as he hobbled over.

With Sungyeol’s help, Kate was able to get her head through the hole again. “Sunggyu, can we keep this to remember you by?” she begged.

“No,” Sunggyu snapped as he tried to pull the sweatshirt off of them. “I’m coming back! I’m not going away forever.”

“Oh,” Woohyun muttered. He had just finished putting on Sunggyu’s long plaid coat. “Does that mean I can’t keep this to remember you by either?”

“Stop trying to steal all of my clothes,” Sunggyu grumbled as moved further into the room. “Clothes go into the bag, not on your bodies.”

“Yes, sir,” Kate said as she slipped out of the sweatshirt and then helped her boyfriend out of it.

While those two were doing that, Woohyun leaned over. “I really can’t keep this?”

“We’ll talk about it later,” Sunggyu whispered back and patted him on the shoulder. Woohyun took that as a ‘yes,’ and Sunggyu was just going to have to learn how to live without his favorite jacket for awhile.

When the packing was finally done, the four of them sat down to watch a drama while eating. It wasn’t until the second episode when it hit Sunggyu that this was the first time that Woohyun was with them to binge watch a drama. It just seemed so natural for him to be there, like it should’ve been like this all along.

Next time we do this, we should invite Myungsoo too. He was already thinking about the next time they’d do this as the four of them were laughing at the drama. He liked it that much.

When he was planning out their next gathering, Woohyun leaned over and whispered, “I won’t end up like her, right? Like Pyo Nari?”

Sunggyu sputtered into a laugh. They were watching Jealousy Incarnate, and the lead girl (Pyo Nari) had been stuck in a one-sided love for three years. And to make matters worse, her love moved out of the country to Thailand. “I’m not going out of the country, and I won’t be gone for that long,” Sunggyu responded. He then dropped his voice. “Besides, this isn’t one-sided.”

Sunggyu didn’t even notice how Woohyun responded because he was caught off guard by a gagging noise coming from his right. After he whipped his head over, he saw Sungyeol pretending to throw up ‘in disgust’ over the cheesy thing that Sunggyu had just said, and Kate was patting his back to ‘help’ him.

Maybe Sunggyu would reconsider inviting those two to the next drama watching (and if he did, he’d probably have to squeeze Myungsoo between them).

But even given the teasing, Sunggyu’s heart hadn’t felt this much at ease in a long time. It was almost like things were back to the way that they were. Almost.

Sunggyu still fell asleep holding Woohyun’s hand. It was the only way that he could tell what was real and what wasn’t when he was drifting from night terrors into reality and back again.

Sunggyu left the following morning, bright and early. It was both unfortunate and fortunate that there wasn’t much time for goodbyes. He didn’t know what more to say to them than just ‘goodbye,’ but also he didn’t want to leave them quite yet. After all, he didn’t know when he was coming back, and that fact made all of this harder.

There were no set day for them to count down to, no set return for them to look forward to. Nothing, they had nothing but a vague promise of ‘someday.’ And Sunggyu hoped that it would be a ‘someday soon’ (although not too soon because there were some things, demons, that he wasn’t ready to face yet).

When Sunggyu was two hours outside of Seoul, he texted Kate how Woohyun was doing and he jokingly asked whether Woohyun cried yet. And she responded with a picture message. They were at school in the library, and it was an all-too close photo of Woohyun’s profile. He was sulking, a lot, but was dry-eyed.

Kate: He said that you already took too many of his tears. He dried up. No more!

Sunggyu groaned. He hadn’t meant for Kate to actually ask Woohyun, but, of course, her and her big mouth read his text out loud, and now Woohyun was upset.

However, later that night, when he was at the dinner table with his family, Sunggyu received a message from Sungyeol. It was another picture, but this one was hard to figure out. It was a close up shot of something, something tan. There was a red mark across the bottom of the screen and what looked like a drop of water near the top. Sunggyu squinted as he studied the picture. What was it?

Then the messages rolled in.

Sungyeol: I found one!

Sungyeol: Be grateful for that photo. He hit me afterwards.

Sungyeol: It still hurts.

Sunggyu went back and forth between reading the messages and lookings at the photo and reading the messages again. When it dawned on him, he hit the table, which gave his parents a shock. He did! He was screaming with joy inside of his head. He did cry for me!

The next message that he got confirmed just that.

Woohyun: Stop wanting me to cry! It’s not nice! You’re mean!

Sunggyu quickly typed out a response: I just wanted to know if you missed me because I already miss you. With the distance between them now, it would be all too easy for them to get mad at the other and stay mad. To make this work, they needed honesty, both brutal honesty and cheesy honesty. Sunggyu might have cringed as he typed the response, but it was still true. Two hours away from Seoul and he was already texting Kate about Woohyun. And as day was turning into night, Sunggyu was worried about how he’d chase away those nightmares now. He missed Woohyun, a lot. And it hadn’t been a full day yet. Woohyun had to know how he felt.

A message rolled in less than a minute after he sent his.

Woohyun: Miss you too.

Woohyun had to know how he felt because Sunggyu wanted to hear it back. And once he did, the loneliness and want abated a little, and Sunggyu was able to smile. He put down his phone and continued to eat.

We’re going to get through this. We’re going to make this work. Sunggyu was sure of it, even though he wasn’t sure at all of when they’d see each other again.