In life, one has to be very careful of people more than anything. Just because they look okay on the outside, it doesn’t mean that they are on the inside. There are wicked people whose thoughts you just can’t figure out. And then there are people with a bright smile on their faces, but on the inside they feel broken beyond repair.

That was Sunggyu now. That was Sunggyu in front of his mother, his father, his sister, and his therapist. Given what had happened to him, when he said he was “fine” and flashed his smile, none of them were convinced. His parents coddled him. His sister came to see him everyday, even though she had a husband and a house of her own. And he got medication for his anxiety and reprimands from his therapist for not being honest, for still putting up walls. Sunggyu was safe now. He didn’t need to act so defensive. He could open himself up to people once more and not fear getting hurt. He was safe. He knew he was. Sunggyu knew that he was in Jeonju, miles and miles away from the attacker who was locked up in a jail cell. But he still didn’t feel safe. Nor did he feel less anxious, hence the medicine that he took more often than he’d like too.

So for the first week at home, Sunggyu hid like this. He hid emotionally and physically, locking himself in his bedroom with the curtains drawn shut.

But for the second week, he did a complete 180 turn. He didn’t want to be alone. He was attached to his mother’s hip, following her around. And once she was fed up with him, he clung onto his father and then his sister. And when they all went to bed and the nightmares kept Sunggyu from sleeping, he’d call Woohyun, who’d always answer, no matter how tired he was. So Woohyun would often fall asleep while still on the phone, but Sunggyu kept the call going. The soft snoring on the other side of the line was like a white noise machine, blotting out everything else and muffling those dark voices in his head.

Woohyun had started seeing a therapist too (although he hadn’t been to quite so many sessions as Sunggyu, not like it was a contest). They would talk about going to sessions and sometimes share the advice that they got. They didn’t talk much, though, about what actually went on during their sessions, but that was private. Sunggyu could respect that. And he liked how Woohyun never pressured him to share anything either. After all, sharing Sunggyu’s pains and struggles was what the therapist was for, not Woohyun. What was Woohyun for then?

Everything else.

Woohyun was there to comfort him, to distract him, to inform him about what was going on at the University, to play video games online with him, to be his friend, to be his support, to be supported by him in return, to make Sunggyu feel needed and wanted...Woohyun was there for so many reasons, but above all, he was there for this: to love Sunggyu.

A long distance relationship, it wasn’t how Sunggyu ever wanted to start a relationship. Heck, he never thought he’d ever find himself in one. What was the point of being in a relationship when you could physically bewith the person? Well, Sunggyu understood why someone would do that now, but he still wasn’t sure of how to do it.

They called each other at least once a day, and the phone calls varied in length, lasting from only 5 minutes to 3 hours. They had video called more in the beginning, like saying ‘good night’ to each other through short videos messages. They even tried ‘cafe dates,’ meaning they would video call each other while drinking coffee. Sunggyu would be at a cafe nearby and Woohyun would be somewhere on campus. But over time, they talked to each other like that less and less.

They’d also send pictures to each other often, of whatever reminded them of the other. Like Woohyun would take a picture of an empty seat in Kang’s lecture with Sunggyu’s coat (which he had really stolen) draped over it or of whatever he was studying in the library. And Sunggyu often took pictures of funny things he saw (like shirts with odd phrases on them) or things he’d like to do with Woohyun when he came back (like see that one animated movie). There was a lot, a lot of pictures exchanged between them, a lot of things that Sunggyu wanted them to do together.

Selcas were exchanged between them as well, less frequently than probably either of them expected. Sunggyu much rather preferred to video call Woohyun and show him his face like that. But to take a picture of himself that looked, well, cute and handsome and y and healthy and also effortless, all of the things that he wanted to show to the younger, it was incredibly embarrassing and his mother caught him on one or two occasions.

But why Woohyun didn’t send him more, that confused Sunggyu. It was times like those when Sunggyu couldn’t figure out if they were “together” or just best friends. Yes, they’d kissed. But kisses aren’t promises. Yes, they’d confessed. But feelings change. And Sunggyu was undergoing a lot of changes these days, sometimes several times a day. Woohyun was probably the same.

Some days, Sunggyu heard more from Kate than from Woohyun. Many days, Woohyun sounded distracted and cold, so cold that it’d make Sunggyu freeze as if he’d done something wrong.

And after a month and a half had passed, Sunggyu was almost certain that they weren’t together anymore (that is if they ever were together to begin with). He just had too many doubts flooding his mind to see any other possibility.

Which meant he overlooked the fact that they still talked everyday and that Woohyun remembered when his sessions were and asked how they went. Sunggyu even overlooked the heart-filled emojis and stickers that Woohyun would send over Kakao because, well, Woohyun was cute so of course he’d send cute things. And Sunggyu never even paid attention to how his own tone sounded like during some phone calls they had.

But one thing that Sunggyu couldn’t overlook was the package at his doorstep one day. It was from Woohyun, and he hadn’t said anything about sending a package. It was a surprise, and Sunggyu had absolutely no idea what was inside. The package was light but bulging at the same time. Whatever it was, it was too large for the box, and it made Sunggyu very curious about what was inside and also anxious. Why was he anxious? Well, everything made him anxious, especially things that were out of the ordinary. And everything filled his mind with thoughts that he’d normally wouldn’t think of before.

The package was large. What if this was Sunggyu’s coat that Woohyun had stolen? What if this was Woohyun breaking up with him?

What if it really wasn’t from Woohyun? What if it was from him? What if he’d gotten out of jail and sent him this? What if the man sent him this from jail? Were prisoners allowed to do that?

Because of those “what ifs” it took Sunggyu a longer time to open the package then he’d like to admit. A few times, he’d stop just to start breathing again, not realizing that he’d been holding his breath for so long.

“Kim Sunggyu, what are you doing?” he reprimanded himself. “It’s just a package. Just a package from your...from Woohyun. There’s nothing to be afraid of!” he spoke the last statement with a loud grunt as he finally tore the package open.

Well, it was a jean jacket, and it definitely was from Woohyun, even though there didn’t appear to be any note along with it. But Sunggyu just knew that it was. It was the one Woohyun had been wearing thatnight. Sunggyu recognized it because of the missing button near the bottom. That night, when Sunggyu was falling apart and Woohyun was trying to keep him together, his eyes were fixed on that empty gap where a button should be. His fingers had played with it, as they were now. There was something oddly calming about it.

Sunggyu didn’t know what Woohyun meant by sending this to him, especially since there was no note include, but it just felt like Woohyun meant something special, something important.

Sunggyu removed the hoodie he was wearing and put on the jacket. After checking himself in the mirror, Sunggyu sniggered. It really wasn’t his style and a bit short in the sleeves. But...he kinda liked it. He really kinda liked it.

He stuffed his hands into the pocket, and that was when he found it, a note.

Since I’m not there to keep you warm, have this. I miss you, a lot. But I’ll wait for you. —NWH

Now he loved it.

Sunggyu loved a lot of things. He loved his new (well, borrowed) jean jacket that kept him warm. He loved his family who supported him through this difficult time. He didn’t really lovehis therapist, but he loved how nice he felt coming out of their sessions. He loved his mother’s home-cooking that he got to eat everyday now. He loved being able to take naps whenever he felt like it during the day (although it was because he couldn’t sleep well at night). But most of all he loved...gaming.

Yes, during this break from school (and life in general), Sunggyu became addicted to gaming. So much so that he was nearing the status of those guys who live in their room and never come out. It started out as a way for him and Woohyun to keep in touch. And it easily went from playing with Woohyun to playing without him to playing all of the time, including at the dinner table, much to his parents’ chagrin.

Sunggyu was semi-aware that this new addiction wasn’t healthy, but it was his coping mechanism. It kept him distracted. It helped pass the time and fill up the day when Sunggyu didn’t know how else to do it. He didn’t have coursework. He didn’t have a job. He didn’t even have the courage to venture outside on his own. But in the games, he could go anywhere he wanted and do anything he wanted. So his virtual life became the only life he was living.

What didn’t help his addiction was the fact that everyone in Sunggyu’s real life didn’t seem to see it as a problem. They just let him keep playing. So Sunggyu himself didn’t see it as a problem either, until it became one. Until it became very evident that it was the life he preferred living.

The epiphany came when Sunggyu was playing and his phone rang. He didn’t have to look at the ID to know who it was. Sunggyu just swiped his finger across the screen and answered the call with the grunt, not daring to tear his attention away from the screen.

“Is this a good time?” Woohyun asked on the other side of the call.

And Sunggyu replied with brutal honesty: “No, I'm in the middle of a game. I'll call you when I'm done. Bye!” With that, he hung up the phone and tossed it onto the floor.

And when he finished the level, Sunggyu didn’t have that wave of satisfaction and accomplishment he’d usually have. He couldn’t when he realized what he’d done. His eyes fell down from the screen onto his phone. Woohyun wasn’t like his mother. Mothers can take these small abuses from their children in stride. They were used to it, sadly. She probably thought her son was going through another puberty at the moment, which was most likely true. Sunggyu was undergoing a lot of changes. But for Woohyun…

We should make the most of our time together.

Unlike his mother who he saw and talked to everyday, Sunggyu and Woohyun hadn’t called in a few days because Woohyun had been busy with school. Because of that, Sunggyu had sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t a regular phone call. He checked the call log on his phone. Yea, Woohyun had tried to video call him and Sunggyu answered it with his cheek and hung up without even looking at his face.

Sunggyu dragged a hand down his face as he called the other back. I’ll be lucky if he answers, he thought as he sat up alert. And with every ring, his back slouched more and more.I made him upset. He’s not going to answer.

But then Woohyun did.

“Woo–”

And Woohyun hung up before Sunggyu could get the whole name out. Sunggyu was stunned and kept the phone to his cheek. He still called out the other’s name a few times even though the phone call had obviously already ended. This constriction in his chest and the sinking feeling in his stomach, he didn’t like it one bit. What did I do? He would’ve preferred it if Woohyun didn’t answer the call at all. It would’ve hurt less.

And it hurt even more when Sunggyu’s ringtone was blasting through his ears. He pulled the phone away only to put it back onto his ear. It was Woohyun again, and it was a regular call.

“Hello?” he answered anxiously.

“Doesn't feel good, does it?” Woohyun sounded bitter and cold. Sunggyu didn’t blame him.

“I'm sorry,” he apologized. “I'm free now to talk, if you want to. So...do you?”

Woohyun let out a heavy sigh. “I have no time. I need to study. Exams. That's why I called you during dinner,” he explained. He was so short with his words, as if he didn’t have time for Sunggyu now. But he still called back. He still made time for him. Whereas Sunggyu had all the time in the world right now and was wasting it. It hadn’t even realized it was dinner time already. He pulled back his shades and looked out the window. Everything was getting darker, the sky outside and the mood within Sunggyu’s room.

“Oh,” Sunggyu muttered and let go of the shades. “I didn't know.” He didn’t know that he was wasting his own time and Woohyun’s.

“I know,” but Woohyun seemed to understand. He was more understanding than Sunggyu gave him credit for at times. He knew and understood everything about Sunggyu. He probably was even aware of how terribly sorry the other felt too. Sunggyu’s heart twisted at those two words (I know) and flipped at the following: “Don't hang up next time, please?”

Sunggyu groaned. Woohyun shouldn’t even have to ask for that or sound so desperate.He really...really wanted to talk with me. “I promise,” Sunggyu spoke lowly and full of guilt. “I won’t ever do it again.”

“Okay,” Woohyun’s voice sounded a bit brighter, but then it fell again, “I should get going.”

No, not yet, Sunggyu thought. This call was far too short, too unsatisfying. Now that they were talking, Sunggyu didn’t want it to end. He had so much more that he wanted to say, and there was so much that he wanted to hear from Woohyun too. I should’ve just answered the first time, that ran through his mind and he winced. Well, he wasn’t going to waste their time together anymore. He was going to make the most of it.

“Woohyun-ah?”

“Hm?”

“I love you,” Sunggyu confessed. But he was met only with silence. He pulled the phone away and checked the screen. The phone call was still continuing. Woohyun hadn’t hung up. Then why wasn’t he answering? Did he mute himself? Sunggyu put the phone back onto his ear. “Woohyun? Are you there? I can’t hear you.”

“You're not saying that because you're sorry, right? Are you saying it just to make me feel better?” the words came rolling off the younger’s tongue hotly. Sunggyu’s eyes widened and his whole body jolted. This wasn’t the reaction that he was expecting at all. Woohyun possibly sounded even more offended than before.

“A bit but…” Sunggyu replied honestly. He had wanted to make Woohyun feel better, but also ‘feel better’ in the sense that Sunggyu wanted Woohyun to know that he cared for him, deeply. Isn’t that why people say ‘I love you’ in the first place? To make the other feel good? Feel loved?

This time, Woohyun didn’t quite understand Sunggyu’s motives: “Good night.” He was about to hang up again.

But Sunggyu wouldn’t allow that to happed. “Woohyun! I love you! I seriously do!” he shouted loudly, so loudly that his parents probably heard and the neighbor on the other side of the wall. However, Sunggyu only cared about one person who seemed intent on not listening to him. “I can’t really prove it now. I can only say it,” he added at a lower volume.

“Then tell me,” Woohyun’s voice still sounded sharp.

“Eh?” Sunggyu was at a loss for words at the wrong time.

“Forget about it,” the other muttered. No, he’s going to try to hang up again.

Sunggyu closed his eyes as if it would make what he was about to say easier, “Because you’re good to me. You tolerate me.”

“And…” Woohyun prompted him after a short pause.

Sunggyu whined but continued, “And...you’re cute. Aish, I don’t know what else to say. This is embarrassing.” There was only a few people that Sunggyu could feel vulnerable around and Woohyun was one of them, but Sunggyu was reaching his limit, even with Woohyun. “Hey…don’t you have anything to say? Are you still there?” Woohyun still hadn’t said those words back to him. Would he? In Sunggyu’s mind, there was no reason why the younger shouldn’t. In fact, up until this point Sunggyu could’ve sworn that Woohyun had liked him more. Was I wrong? Had I been wrong this whole time? About everything? Oh no...Sunggyu’s throat tightened. His heart sped up. He was panicking

“I love you too, and I miss you...so much,” and with that, the panic dissolved away. The Woohyun he knew was back. “When are you going to come back home?” there was a slight whine in his voice when he asked that and it made Sunggyu smile.

Sunggyu laid down on his bed, relaxed. “I am home,” he joked.

“When are you going to come back to my home?” Woohyun corrected himself with a short chuckle.

Sunggyu sighed and rubbed his face. “I don’t know,” he answered. Honestly, he didn’t really want to go back to the city, ever again, but he also didn’t want to stay locked away in Jeonju forever. He missed the life he used to have, but he also knew that he couldn’t get that life back just by moving back up there. He needed to work on himself more. That was incredibly evident right now. But he didn’t know when he’d be ready, so he gave Woohyun the best answer that he could: “It’ll be after exams, that’s for sure. So I won’t distract you from studying.”

“You would be a distraction,” Woohyun agreed with his wheezing laugh

“Because I’m handsome,” Sunggyu suggested.

“Because you talk too much,” the other retorted.

Sunggyu gasped and raised his voice, pretending to be offended, “I do? Me? Not you?”

“I do too,” Woohyun admitted. “That’s why we go well together. If you were here, I’d just want to talk to you the whole time.”

Sunggyu grinned. “Well, then you’re lucky that I’m not there, so you can study until you feel like dying,” he replied.

Woohyun whined, “Already feel like I’m dying because I’m missing you too much.”

Sunggyu groaned and rolled around on his bed, hiding his reddening face in his pillow. “Ah, did you have to say that?”

“You didn’t like it?” Sunggyu could perfectly conjure up an image of Woohyun’s expression as he asked that question, that nervous and quivering smile. That smile that Sunggyu had misunderstood for so long, but now, he knew it so well.

“I did,” it was his turn to put the other’s worries to rest. It was nerve-wrecking, being intimate through words instead of by touch It felt riskier somehow, but Sunggyu felt closer with him now. And it felt really, really good. So good that now, Sunggyu was ready to let him go. “Don’t you have to study?” he reminded.

“! I do!” Woohyun cursed and then let out a string of grumbles. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And Sunggyu waited for Woohyun to end the call this time, which took awhile. But when it was over, Sunggyu rolled out of bed and walked up to his gaming system. He unplugged it and began to pack it all way. It was time for a change. It was time to live in reality again.

Living in reality involved Sunggyu going outside and staying there. However, there still a lot of places where he felt uncomfortable. He didn’t feel comfortable in almost all places. But there was one where he felt okay, mostly because it was filled with older, harmless women and men would rarely ever step inside: his mother and sister’s knit shop. He began working there. He manned the cash register. He quickly grew bored by the slow stream of customers, even though the old women made for good conversation. They flattered him a lot, and he liked that. But when they left and when his mother was busy, Sunggyu was alone, and he’d have to fight off his growing anxiety. His eyes flickered towards the window, watching and waiting for thatman to come. His mother must’ve noticed it because before his first week there was over, she handed her son some scrap yarn and a crochet hook. At first, he had pushed them aside, whining to his mother that he didn’t want to, that he wasn’t a grandmother. But just an hour later, he called his mother back to the register to help him get started. Crocheting like a grandmother was more appealing than sitting there with nothing to do (he had left his phone at home to help him quit gaming cold turkey).

Sunggyu ended up making one, large blanket, with only one kind of stitch and with all of the leftover yarn that this tiny shop had to offer. And it was the ugliest thing that Sunggyu had ever seen. The edges were uneven, waving in and out, because he kept adding and dropping stitches. Some stitches were tight; others were loose. And the colors didn’t meld together, but instead they crashed into each other creating some kind of chromatic dissonance. It was a damn ugly blanket. Even his mother couldn’t offer him any other compliment than congratulating him for finishing it.

His mother might not have liked it, but Sunggyu knew of someone who would. And he owed the kid a gift anyway, for the jean jacket and for the way he had been acting. So Sunggyu stuffed the blanket in a box too small for it, but he still made it work. And he left just enough space for a tiny yet cheesy note, a little something to bring a smile to that face he hadn’t seen in far too long. Writing the note made him cringe, hard. However, maybe it was because he felt guilty or maybe it was because Sunggyu could only express his affection for the man with words now, but he still wanted to write it.

“A stitch for every time I thought of you.”

Of course it was an exaggeration, but it would also be a lie to say that he hadn’t thought of Woohyun often, especially when he was bored. But it would be a lie to say that he only thought of Woohyun. He thought of Kate and Sungyeol too, the rest of the Conversational English Club, and of Myungsoo and Myungeun. Not only did he think of the people, but Sunggyu also thought of the classes he was missing, the food that he could only get in Seoul, and everything that he could possibly be missing out on. Since Jeonju was his home, Sunggyu was hesitant to say that he was getting “homesick,” but he was Seoul-sick for sure. He wanted his old life back. He wanted to be normal.

And just as he was thinking of possibly going back, when he got home one day, Sunggyu received something that turned those thoughts into a reality. He wasn’t happy about it. No, instead he felt himself panicking.

Luckily, before hurling himself into another deep chasm of anxiety, Sunggyu received a video call from Woohyun, who was beaming with delight over the package he just received in the mail.

“You must've thought of me a lot,” he exclaimed as he pulled the blanket up for Sunggyu to see, as if the elder had never seen it before. Woohyun had propped the phone on something and stood up. He unfurled the blanket, displaying it in all of its ugly glory (and Sunggyu had forgotten how wretched it looked and cringed). Woohyun’s head peaked over the top of it. “Look! It's bigger than me! I only thought of you this much,” he declared, folding the blanket in half and then in half again. He was laughing at his own joke and at Sunggyu’s reaction as he tossed the blanket on his bed. He walked up to the phone and took it down, holding it in his hands again. “I'm kidding,” Woohyun said as he laid back down in his bed, but he wasn’t smiling or laughing anymore. Sunggyu had seen this expression before though, a long time ago, when Woohyun was alone at the convenience store, the lone wolf with his eyes searching the streets for someone. This time, however, Woohyun had found what he was searching for with his lonesome eyes and was staring straight at him, longingly. Sunggyu wouldn’t be surprised if the wolf broke out into a whimper, and Woohyun practically did when he said, “Sunggyu, when are you coming back?”

“Next week,” Sunggyu answered, but before he let the other pull his lips up into a wolfish grin, he continued, “For the hearing.”

Woohyun’s eyes went wide, and he shot straight up in his bed. “Already? A-and you’re going?” He was in disbelief, and given how Sunggyu had been acting lately (avoidant) it was warranted. Sunggyu only added to the disbelief by nodding and mumbling a soft ‘yea’ that sounded more resigned than anything else. Woohyun juggled the phone in his hands nervously and his expression grew grave. “You don’t have to do this, you know?” he spoke in a loud whisper and slowly growing into a full voice. “You don’t have to act brave. They have more than enough evidence to lock him away for a long time without your testimony.”

“I know,” Sunggyu grumbled as he shifted down his bed and laid down. His gaze shifted down from his phone to his shirt, tugging it down and avoiding the other’s scrutinizing stare. “But it’s time to face my demon,” he mumbled under his breath while closing his eyes.

Woohyun still caught the remark. “Literally,” he added with a heavy sigh. Sunggyu waited for him to say something else, to try talking him out of coming again but it never happened. Curious, he looked back up at the phone’s screen and saw Woohyun trying his best to bite back his wolfish grin.

“What?”

“It’s bad of me, but I’m looking forward to it,” Woohyun admitted as he laid back down again, arm behind his head, relaxed. He wasn’t holding back the smile anymore. “You’re finally coming back to me.”

Sunggyu scoffed. Woohyun wasn’t going to fight him on this and question if he was really ready for it because his desire to see Sunggyu triumphed over those worries. And Sunggyu was fine with that. He was smiling too. “Not to youspecifically but to everyone,” Sunggyu corrected him. I’m going back to my old life. He then lowered his gaze again as he sputtered out the next bit, “I...I’m looking forward to it too.” He didn’t mean it, not 100%. He was not looking forward to being in the same room as his attacker, and just imagining it made Sunggyu’s whole body grow rigid and constricted. But, but...Sunggyu raised his eyes again to the screen and his body relaxed. Woohyun, however, didn’t seem as relaxed after noticing the sudden change in the other’s demeanor. Worry creased his brow, which made Sunggyu’s lips pull up into a grin. “I get to see you again.” Confronting his demon was a small price to pay in order to see Woohyun again (Sunggyu cringed at how much like a fairy tale that thought sounded). And if Sunggyu knew Woohyun as well as he did now, the younger wouldn’t let him fight the battle alone. In fact, Sunggyu might have a hard time getting Woohyun awayfrom his side. He sniggered at the thought of Woohyun sinking his claws into Sunggyu and holding on tight, and Sunggyu unable to shake him off (not like he’d be trying hardto).

Woohyun cocked an eyebrow, wondering what set the other off, but Sunggyu shook his head. So Woohyun chose just to laugh along with him. “You’re seeing me now,” he joked.

“You know what I mean,” Sunggyu fought back with a slight whine.

“I know,” Woohyun was acting coy. Sunggyu could literally see the excitement bubbling up inside of the other as he was wiggling on the bed. And the excited bubbled forth in his words, “I can’t wait until you’re here so I can hug you and kiss you and tell you—”

And Sunggyu couldn’t take it and interrupted him, “This is gross. I’m hanging up now.”

“No! Don’t! Not yet!” Woohyun cried.

“I’m going to! You can’t stop me!” Sunggyu .

“No!”

“I’m doing it!”

“Fine! Hang up! See if I care,” Woohyun growled. Sunggyu couldn’t help but to laugh at how upset he looked. Surprisingly Woohyun giggled too. “You didn’t do it,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t feel like it,” Sunggyu replied. And I promised that I wouldn’t hang up again.

For a moment, Sunggyu wondered if Woohyun could read his mind because the younger had an absurdly soft look about his face. Sunggyu was about to say something to rile up the other again and wipe that look from his face, but a clanging noise came from the background. Woohyun snapped up from the bed. The phone fell to the bed too and Sunggyu could see nothing but the ceiling. “Ah , my mom’s home. I have to go,” Woohyun swore and he lifted the phone back up at the end.

It seemed all too soon by Sunggyu hid his disappointment behind a slender smile. “Okay.”

“Sunggyu,” there he was again, going all soft.

“Hm?” the elder hummed, cautious. Woohyun had a weird look in his eye as he leaned in closer and closer, until he pecked at the screen. Sunggyu sputtered, “What? What was the for?”

“Why do you think? It was a kiss goodnight,” Woohyun answered, without shame and with a whole lot of pride. “Now do it back! Right here!” he chirped, pointing right at his cheek and then offering it for the other to “kiss.”

But Sunggyu refused, “No, I don’t want to.”

The younger pouted and faced the other so that he could get the full effect of his disappointment. “You don’t love me,” he whined.

Sunggyu blew a snort from his nose. Woohyun was laying it on thick, and Sunggyu sort of liked to see him beg. He put an arm behind his head, propping himself up, and got comfortable. “Maybe I don’t wantto love you, if you want me to do stuff like that,” Sunggyu retorted.

Sunggyu had pushed his luck too far. Woohyun went from disappointed to despairing. “Okay,” his voice barely came out.

“Woohyun, I was kidding,” Sunggyu spoke loudly, especially since the other one was so quiet. He sighed and watched Woohyun play with his sheets, looking at everyone but the elder. “Show me your cheek.” Woohyun finally looked back up at him with an expression that seemed too surprised for Sunggyu’s liking. So Sunggyu did the cheesiest thing that he didn’t want to do and kissed Nam Woohyun through the phone, on his cheek not even on his lips. “There you go. Happy?” Sunggyu asked, and now he was the one avoiding the other’s gaze.

“Very happy,” Woohyun answered. Sunggyu looked up and saw the younger beaming, happier than ever. “I’ll see you soon!”
Sunggyu smiled back, just as brightly. “See you soon!”

Sunggyu couldn’t wait a week. Whether it was because he was tired of wasting his time at home or because he anxious to see the others again, he booked his ticket to Seoul the next day. However, all of that desire to go back fled him. When he finally got to the station and his mother wished him farewell and good luck at the hearing, Sunggyu nearly scurried back into the car. But fortunately his mother was there to shove him onto the bus, and so now here he was, a few hours away from Seoul and getting closer with every passing second. Sunggyu had closed his eyes, trying to sleep, which proved to be nearly impossible. Eyes, Sunggyu felt eyes on him from multiple directions. Why was someone looking at him? Who was it? He felt his throat tightening and his finger clenched into tight fists, fingernails digging into his palms. Sunggyu had taken his medicine, but it wasn’t enough. So Sunggyu chose to distract himself and he pulled out his phone and played games until the bus pulled into the station.

, I spent too much in the game again, Sunggyu thought with a sigh as he shoved the phone back into his pocket. He rubbed his tired face roughly in frustration. Given how much he spent, he probably shouldn’t take a taxi like he originally planned. That meant he had to take another bus, which meant more people, more eyes, more opportunities for…

“SUNGGYU!”

His head snapped back up when he disembarked from the bus and he tried looking for the source of the shout. Could it be? Sunggyu didn’t know why he didn’t expect anyone to meet him at the station, which was quite silly of him. Kate had asked what time his bus was arriving earlier, but he didn’t expect her to see her standing a few feet away from him, waving like a maniac as if he wouldn’t spot her in a crowd normally. He didn’t expect it because she didn’t have a car, but Sungyeol did. And he was standing next to her, waving just as much. And now he was screaming Sunggyu’s name too, as if he hadn’t heard Kate screeching it earlier.

Of course Kate and her big mouth would tell everyone when Sunggyu was arriving, including Woohyun, who was standing behind the two crazy people just smiling. And that was it, he was only smiling.

Is that kid even happy to see me? Sunggyu thought as he approached them and yelled at the other two to calm the heck down. Kate excused herself by saying that she missed him. She even looked like she wanted to hug him, but she didn’t, given how awkward their last one was. And so she clung onto her boyfriend instead, smiling at her old friend. Sungyeol was beaming too, very excited to see Sunggyu again, and he told him. Sungyeol was trying to fill him in on every little thing that happened, while the other was away, and Sunggyu was just nodding along, focusing his gaze on the tall one and not letting it stray away to where it had wanted to go. And why should Sunggyu look at that little punk anyway? He didn’t even say ‘hi.’

Apparently, that little punk couldn’t handle being ignored any longer and pushed through the couple and wrapped Sunggyu in a hug that was all too tight but also all what Sunggyu needed right then, even if he was having a hard time breathing. He returned the hug and felt Woohyun settling into it, into him. Evidently, Woohyun wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon, or ever probably. A small part of Sunggyu was okay with that, but most of him was veryaware of how in public they both were and felt those eyes again. Even though his grip tightened on the other subconsciously, he told the Woohyun, “You can let go now.”

“I don’t wanna,” Woohyun whined in response but did so anyway. “Hi,” he finally greeted the other, softly.

“Hi,” Sunggyu responded back similarly.

“Hi!” Kate interjected, pulling the two’s attention over to her. “How was the trip? I forgot to ask. Did you sit next to any weird people? Did you eat? You look hungry. How’s the leg? See you have the cast off, but you still walk funny. And…”

“Are you ever going to let me answer a single question?!” Sunggyu barked.

“Okay, we’re officially wasting time now,” Sungyeol spoke up too. “We need to get going.” He then led the way back to his car and Kate scurried up to his side, which left Sunggyu alone with the little punk. Why do I keep calling him that? Sunggyu thought to himself. The kid wasn’t really a punk, at least not to Sunggyu. No, he was…

“I’ll carry this,” Woohyun offered as he picked up Sunggyu’s luggage, which the elder was more than fine with. He didn’t want to carry it. But Woohyun was carrying it because Woohyun was his boyfriend. Woohyun liked him. No, Woohyun loved him. The both of them had already confessed to that fact, but right now their relationship seemed all too surreal. Probably because it was finally much more of a reality after a long, long stretch of long-distance dating. Now they could finally act like a real couple, and it was really weird and really awkward for Sunggyu.

How the hell did Nam Woohyun become my boyfriend? Sunggyu caught himself thinking. How did I even start dating? At that moment, Woohyun glanced over at him and gave him that wolfish smile.Oh yea, that’s how.

The both of them couldn’t hold each other’s gaze for long. Woohyun felt just as awkward about all of this and looked away too. Small chuckles came from both.

All of this hadn’t gone unnoticed. “They’re so awkward. Were we ever like that?” Kate asked her boyfriend, not even being secretive about it. She was staring right at the two behind them.

“Yah, don’t ask that question when they can hear,” Sungyeol hissed back and pushed at her cheek so that she was facing forward again.

“What is she even talking about?” Sunggyu feigned ignorance.

“I don’t know,” Woohyun played along, and his smile looked easier. The air between them felt less tense now. They both were well aware of how awkward they were being, and being called out on it actually helped. Sunggyu smiled and put his arm around the other.

“You guys were worse. No matter what we’re doing now, you two were worse,” Sunggyu shouted back up at Kate. Woohyun nodded in agreement. “How long did you string Sungyeol along for?”

“I didn’t string him along!” Kate snapped back and then looked up at Sungyeol to back her up. “Right?”

“You did for a bit,” Sungyeol was blunt.

“Eh, you were always the only guy for me,” Kate tried to offer him that bit as comfort. She grabbed his hand. “I always meant to catch you at the end.”

“You’re not for me,” Woohyun whispered to Sunggyu. He pulled away and smirked. “I’m quite the catch. You’re lucky. Out of all of the guys, I chose you.”

Now Sunggyu didn’t find it difficult at all look to look him in the eye anymore, especially with a glare. “Fine then. Why don’t you go to those guys instead, if you’re so popular with them?” he called the other’s bluff.

“Because…” Woohyun was scrambling for an answer. “You’re already mine,” was all that he could come up. But that lame excuse paired with his nervous smile was good enough for Sunggyu.

Sunggyu had a meeting with the prosecutor later that day, but he still had some time to waste. And so the four of them went to Kate’s apartment to get Sunggyu’s things settled in there. Kate was busying herself to get him situated, running about the apartment, showing him where things were as if he’d never been there before. Sunggyu was about to snap at her. He’d left his mother in Jeonju. He didn’t need to have one in Seoul too. But luckily Sungyeol stepped in and began to drag her out of the apartment with him saying that Sunggyu probably needed some time to rest.

“You’re right,” she finally conceded. “We probably should study anyway. Come on, Namu! Sunggyu needs to rest.” Kate beckoned her friend to follow them.

“Oh my god!” Sungyeol exclaimed as he grabbed her by the collar and began pulling her out of the door with him. “How are you so dense?”

“Huh? O-oh!” The door slammed behind both of them just as Kate finally understood the situation.

“I was beginning to think that they would never leave,” Sunggyu joked, after a few moments of silence.

“They just missed you,” Woohyun replied from the other side of the room. He seemed to be having a hard time keeping his gaze on Sunggyu’s again. The awkwardness was returning. Sunggyu could see it in the other’s tensing body and wringing hands, eyes fixed on the floor, and that heavy sigh. “We all did.”

Sunggyu walked over to him (or limped over the best he could). “I missed you too,” he said as he was approaching him. “But now...I don’t...because I’m here...with you.” ! That was awkward and weird to say, not to mention completely obvious. It probably did little to help the situation. Nope, definitely made things worse.

Or so Sunggyu thought. But a snort came from the younger, which slowly turned into a peal of laughter. Woohyun lifted his head and fixed his eyes on the others. “Yea, you’re here...finally.” And finally, finally after a long, long time and even longer distance, they came together again and kissed. Things were falling back into place for them, back to where they had left things off: Sunggyu was back in Seoul, Woohyun was here by his side, and this kiss felt as good as it had before, maybe better because of the anticipation leading back up to this moment.

However, not everything was like how it was before. Sunggyu hadn’t left Woohyun when he left Seoul. No, their relationship had progressed. And Sunggyu could especially feel it when he’d pulled away and watch Woohyun’s eyes open again, seeing the hunger in them.

“So you’re not covered in plaster anymore,” the younger remarked, as his hands slid down gripping the other at the hip and began to push him, move him towards the couch.

“Uh, yea,” Sunggyu muttered, wondering where this all was going. I don’t know if...

“Let’s cuddle!” Woohyun exclaimed as he pushed the other onto the couch and settled on top of him.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Sunggyu shouted at him, but he was laughing too. Nam Woohyun was really ridiculous. “What are you doing?” he asked as Woohyun was forcing Sunggyu’s arm around his shoulders.

“I’ve waited months to do this,” Woohyun lamented and looked over at the elder. “Is it comfortable for you?”

“Hold on,” Sunggyu mumbled, adjusting in the seat and moving the other around so that Woohyun’s elbow didn’t jab his side like it had been. It took longer than he’d expected for things to feel just right, probably because Woohyun was able to find and prod all of his still sore areas (accidentally, of course), but it was well worth all of that effort, to hold him in his arms and to be held. It was just what Sunggyu needed to finally feel good about his decision to come back to Seoul, to feel safe in the city, and to feel at home there once again. Sunggyu sighed as he ran his hand up and down the other’s back. “This might be a little too comfortable. I have to go soon.”

Woohyun squeezed him, like he did at the station, sinking his claws in and never wanting to let go. “Just fifteen minutes like this,” he begged. “I’ll set a timer.”

“Seriously?” Sunggyu asked with a snort as he looked down at the younger who’d already pulled out his phone. Indeed Woohyun set a time for fifteen minutes, and after he did so, he looked determined to make the best use out of the cuddle-time that he had left.

“Eung,” Woohyun grunted as he melded back into his spot, but he propped his chin up to look at the other. “By the way, how are you feeling?”

“Hm? About what?”

Woohyun looked back down and watched his own hand slid up and rest on Sunggyu’s heart. , Sunggyu winced while he mentally cursed. His cool demeanor wasn’t fooling Woohyun when Woohyun could literally feel Sunggyu’s body crumble into anxiety. And the younger did his best to soothe the other’s racing heart, rubbing the spot gently. “About going to the prosecutor’s office? Are you nervous?” he asked.

“Eung.”

“What are you going to tell them?” Woohyun raised his gaze back up at Sunggyu, but his hand didn’t stop moving. “Maybe it will be easier if we go over it first...if you want to.”

“I don’t,” Sunggyu answer honestly. “But I should.” He reached down for the other’s hands and went over what he’d wanted to tell the prosecutors.

And just like that, the fifteen minutes passed quickly, and it was time that Sunggyu made his way to the office. Woohyun walked him there but he couldn’t stay. And much of Sunggyu’s confidence left with him, and it kept dwindling as he talked to the prosecutors who filled him in on the investigation. The prosecutors admitted that it had been hard to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the cashier, Oh Younggon, was the attacker. Yes, they had Sunggyu’s testimony that Younggon had the same voice and build as the attacker, but that sort of proof didn’t always hold up in court. The defense could argue that Sunggyu wasn’t in the right state of mind, and sadly now Sunggyu had the mental health records to prove just that. Even finding him with a black cap wasn’t strong enough evidence because what young man in Seoul didn’t own at least one? The best they could do was charge the cashier with one count of manslaughter for pushing Sunggyu in front of a moving vehicle. However, when they were about to file that charge against him, the police finally received a warrant to examine the cashier’s apartment.

There, they didn’t find the blonde wig that the man was seen wearing, nor did they find any weapons. But they still found strong evidence tying Younggon to the rest of the attacks: a photo of Myungeun, taken from her brother’s apartment. Sunggyu felt his stomach drop when he saw it. He recalled that photo hanging on Myungsoo’s fridge. The man must have taken it when he invaded their apartment in the dead of night. Why this? Why Myungeun? Sunggyu caught himself thinking. And indeed it was strange. Younggon had seemed so fixated on Sunggyu, and yet the only thing that could tie him to the rest of the attacks was this photo. It’s not even of me. Why? Why did Sunggyu feel almost disappointed by this?

“That wasn’t all the police found,” the prosecutor revealed as he slid a second photo across the table. Once again, it was not of Sunggyu but of another young woman “Do you recognize her?”

“Yes,” Sunggyu answered. “She was a cashier too, but...I don’t know her name. Why?”

“Hong Seol,” the prosecutor provided. “That is her name, and she’s been missing for months now. We think it might be related to this case, especially since we found this photo and some other traces of her at the apartment, but Younggon-ssi isn’t speaking to us about her. And we had thought you might know something, since many of the victims seemed tied to you.”

“Yea, why is that?” Sunggyu tried to joke but it wasn’t the moment for it. The prosecutor wanted an honest answer. And so Sunggyu looked down at the photo again, at Hong Seol. It was easy enough to recognize her with her red and curly hair, but other than that, nothing about this girl ever stood out to Sunggyu. He didn’t know a thing about her. And Sunggyu had known all of the victims well and why they’d been attacked, all except this one. No one knew her story, her secret, or even where she currently was. For some reason, Sunggyu felt wrong for not knowing more about her. “I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

“Don’t worry. That’s okay,” the prosecutor said as he took the photo back.

No, no it’s really not.

The date for the trial had been set, and then pushed back again with the discovery of new evidence and a confession. Hong Seol had been found in the outskirts of the city, where she was left to die, and Younggon finally confessed. He had said something along the lines of his sins being revealed and being prepared to face his Maker’s judgment. He had nothing left to hide, except his motive, which he never did reveal. He only said that his Maker would know what he had done, and that was good enough.

No one was entirely sure why Younggon did what he had done. He obviously believed some twisted religion of his own making. But there was nothing about his upbringing or his conduct in public that could provide an answer. And Sunggyu couldn’t discover it for himself when he finally confronted Younggon again at his sentencing.

The sentencing was held in a closed courtroom in order to protect the identity of the victims, who all testified against the man to ensure a fitting punishment. Karem and Miran were the first to speak, followed by the old couple who had lived up the street. A doctor spoke on behalf of Jinyoung and reported the severity of his injuries and how they resulted in his death. Myungsoo took the stand next, and it seemed like Myungeun had no idea why her brother was walking up to the stand. She gasped when she heard his statement. She was hearing this all for the first time, and Myungsoo couldn’t protect her from the truth anymore. Woohyun was next, and Sunggyu had to hold back his own shock. This was the first time he heard of Woohyun’s attack in detail, and it pained him, not only to imagine the terror that Woohyun had went through at the time but the trauma that he was currently living with. It showed upon his face, pale as he faced Younggon, and in his hands which were trembling as he held the paper in his hands. At the end of his testimony, Woohyun touched upon his first confrontation with Younggon but stopped himself. It wasn’t his story to tell, he said. So he’d let the next witness talk about it, which would be Sunggyu.

Before Sunggyu spoke, there was a brief moment when he and Woohyun made eye contact and brushed hands as they walked past each other. That was it, and it was enough to give the both of them the strength to go on.

And so Sunggyu faced his attacker for the last time. But it almost felt like he was seeing Younggon for the first time. Like this, sitting across from Sunggyu in an ill-fitting suit with his eyes to the floor, Younggon looked so young. Baby fat still clung to his cheeks. Sunggyu found that to be terrifying.

You can’t tell what a killer looks like because it could be anybody.

Sunggyu was finally able to recall Younggon as the cashier and not the man who wanted to kill him. Those hands, Sunggyu remembered putting money in them and them offering him bags. He had no idea those hands would be around his neck one day. That mouth, before it spewed hateful words at Sunggyu, it had smiled at him. Of course it was a forced smile, but Sunggyu had thought it was because Younggon hated hated his job and was a naturally gloomy person. Sunggyu knew a lot of people like that and assumed Younggon to be the same. But he wasn’t. Behind those hands and that mouth was a hateful person. And that became evident when Younggon finally raised his eyes from the ground and fixed on Sunggyu as he was delivering his testimony. They were so full of hate. Younggon hated him.

When Sunggyu was finished and they were awaiting the judge’s decision, Sunggyu contemplated why Younggon hated him so much. Was it because Younggon was a hateful person? Or was it because Sunggyu deserved to be hated so much for what he was? Would he be hated his whole life for it? Out there in the world, more people existed like Younggon, who disagree with Sunggyu’s ‘lifestyle.’ But unlike the rest, Younggon acted upon it. The others, the many many others, will just plaster smiles on their faces, as Younggon had done before, and yet they would look upon Sunggyu with hate. Were there people like that now? Sunggyu raised his head and looked about the courtroom. The baliff, the stenographer, all of those that had just heard his testimony. What did they think of him now? Did they hate him too?

The stenographer must’ve felt Sunggyu’s gaze and caught his eye. She smiled at him. And Sunggyu’s heart sank as he lowered his head.

He was beginning to doubt if he’d ever trust a smile again.

Well, maybe he’d trust just the one smile given by the man sitting next to him, holding his hand. No matter how shaking or nervous or slender or ugly Nam Woohyun’s smile was, Sunggyu could always trust it, even the meager grin that Woohyun was giving him now. It was all to make him feel better, and Sunggyu was starting to.

The judge came back and sentenced Younggon to life without parole. The judge had spoken more on the matter, but that was all Sunggyu had wanted to hear.

With that, the trial had come to a close.

And no one had spoken on behalf of Hong Seol.

After the sentencing, Woohyun insisted that they all come back to his parents’ place to celebrate. And when Woohyun said ‘all,’ he had meant it. The English Conversational Club was there. Myungsoo and Myungeun came too. And even Sunggyu’s family, who came up for the trial, were there, talking with Woohyun’s parents, which seemed all too surreal to Sunggyu. He and Woohyun weren’t really official yet, and now their parents were meeting for the first time.

Sunggyu was sitting alone at a table while he watched the families come together. They were appearing to get along. The fathers were drinking while watching the baseball game on television, and the mothers seemed to be idly chatting. But what about? Sunggyu was trying to overhear, but something stopped him.

“Hey! Sunggyu!”

“Yah, where’s the respect?” Sunggyu chided Woohyun as the other sat next to him. “Don’t you think it’s time you call me ‘hyung’?”

Woohyun shook his head cheekily and retorted, “I don’t respect you. I just like you.”

“Punk,” Sunggyu scoffed. “What’s the difference? If you like me, you have to respect me!”

“No I don’t,” Woohyun teased but he gave in all too easily when Sunggyu glared at him. “I’m kidding, hyung.” And Sunggyu didn’t like hearing that as much as he thought he would have. It sounded unnatural, like like every time Kate called him ‘oppa.’ “What about me? Don’t you respect me?”

“Of course.” Sunggyu nodded. “Probably more than you deserve,” he soon added.

Woohyun didn’t take offense to that. He just took the fact that Sunggyu said he respected him and ran with it. “That’s what I like. That’s why I call you ‘Sunggyu.’ We’re equals,” he said, at which Sunggyu scoffed. But Woohyun ignored that too and kept going, “You know, I’m ahead of you in school now. I’m basically your sunbae. So if you call me ‘sunbae,’ then I’ll call you ‘hyung.’” He tilted his head at the other. “What do you think about that?”

Sunggyu mulled it over for a few seconds before replying, “Let’s not change a good thing. I like things the way that they are. Okay, Nam Woohyun?” He raised his class for the other to clink.

Woohyun did. “Whatever you say, Kim Sunggyu,” he replied and downed his shot of soju. Sunggyu watched him enviously. Due to his circumstances, Sunggyu couldn’t drink right now, and all he had in front of him was a glass of cider. Cider wasn’t cutting it, for the day he just had. And he wanted to celebrate with everyone else. Sunggyu scanned the room. Everyone was drinking, but he was the odd one out, the abnormal one yet again. Sunggyu tried to down the drink the best he could, but only could manage two gulps. And he hardly felt better for it. He just felt gassy.

“Can we change onething?” Woohyun suddenly asked. Sunggyu looked up at him and Woohyun put a finger up. “Just one thing,” he begged.

“What?” Sunggyu wasn’t sure if he could handle anymore changes.

Woohyun got up and moved his stool from across Sunggyu to right next to him. After he sat down, he began, “When all of this was over, I wanted to give you this.” 

“Don’t tell me,” Sunggyu spoke with a slight groan. Woohyun didn’t have to tell him what it was or what it meant. Everyone knew what couple rings looked like, and here was a pair in Woohyun’s palm.

“Do you want it? You don’t? Is it too much? It is, isn’t it?” Woohyun rambled as he began closing up his palm.

“No,” Sunggyu interjected and stopped him from doing so. He pried the palm back up again and took one ring from it. “Besides it’s rude to refuse a gift,” he added as he slipped the ring onto his finger.

“Okay,” Woohyun’s voice was soft again. “You know what this means, right? You can’t take it off. Not ever, okay?”

“You, you’re the one who’d take it off,” Sunggyu retorted. “Hm? Why isn’t it on now? You don’t wanna be with me?” he teased.

“So impatient,” Woohyun responded while clicking his tongue. He slipped the ring on and showed it to the elder, who nodded in approval and took that hand into his, hiding them underneath the table. They were official now, a genuine couple, but they didn’t need to flaunt it to everyone in the room, especially not with their parents so close by, their parents who were glancing at them every few seconds. Woohyun, of course, seemed oblivious to their stares and squeezed the other’s hand. “Does this make today our first day, or...did we already have that?” he asked.

Sunggyu scratched his forehead with his free hand. “I don’t know,” he spoke with a laugh of embarrassment. This should’ve been an easy question to answer, but at the same time, neither of them knew the answer. “It’s hard to say. And...honestly...I don’t want some of those days to be ‘our first.’ Not even today.”

When they had confessed, Sunggyu had almost died that day. When they had their first real kiss, Sunggyu had seen Jinyoung die. When they both said ‘I love you,’ for the first time, they had also hung up the phone on each other. And today, when they now have markers of their commitment to each other, they’d faced the man who wanted to kill them and spent a good deal before and afterwards having panic attacks and crying. Woohyun’s eyes were bloodshot now, and Sunggyu was positive that he looked no better.

Nope, none of those were days that Sunggyu wanted be reminded of once a year, forever,

“Then we won’t have one,” Woohyun suggested.

And Sunggyu nearly choked on his cider. “What?” he sputtered while coughing. Once he had that under control, he continued, “Yah, Mr. Romance, I’ve heard to talk with Kate about celebrating 100 days and 1000. You don’t want that?”

Woohyun did want that. Sunggyu could see it in his expression right then, but the younger still shook his head. “There are more important things that matter than us counting how long we’ve been together,” he stated. “Besides, I can find other excuses to do events. It’ll be Tuesday soon. I like Tuesdays. That’s a good enough reason for us to do something special on that day.”

Sunggyu chuckled at that. “You’re really good at coming up with excuses.”

“I know,” Woohyun said proudly. He then looked down at their joined hands, which he’d pulled into his lap at some point during their conversation. His other hand came down and played with the ring on Sunggyu’s finger, which was too large so Woohyun could wiggle it about. And Woohyun probably didn’t even realize it, but he was smiling, a small but honest one. An “I’m happy,” slipped past his tired lips.

“Me too,” and it was true. Whenever he saw Woohyun smile now, it was hard for him not to smile too.

But it would be hard to say if it would always be like this. Sunggyu had abhorred Woohyun’s smile before. What’s to say that he wouldn’t distrust it again? While there were rings on their fingers now, they could be removed. They could break up, when Woohyun finally grew tired of Sunggyu and his problems. It was a worry that crept in the back of Sunggyu’s mind, even at this moment.

At the end of every drama, after the main couple had conquered every obstacle in their paths, be it overbearing parents or maniac criminals, they enter into everyday life, when the excitement had died down and the couple is left to deal with each other. When the screen goes black, the audience doesn’t know how long the couple remains together. Do they last forever? Years? A few months? No one knows, but Sunggyu often doubted if they would, especially if they had several ongoing, unresolved issues and if one of them was tsundere, had a hard time showing his affection. And Sunggyu, being a tad bit (or a lot depending who you asked) tsundere himself and having heaps upon heaps of issues, he worried that in the second season of Nam Woohyun’s life, he’d have a new love interest.

But this current season hadn’t finished yet, and Sunggyu still had Tuesday to look forward to.

What came after that...that for for the epilogue.

EPILOGUE: Very Many Years Later But Not Too Many

Sunggyu still hated ‘public’ transportation. He hated being trapped in a confined space with strangers, strangers who were all too close to him, breathing on him, staring at him. He especially hated being trapped in a confined space with strangers while being thousands of kilometers up in the air. But Sunggyu also had no means to ride a private jet or to teleport from America back to Korea, so here he was, on a large airplane, trying to open his anti-anxiety medication with shakey hands. He didn’t need this as often as he used to, but every once in awhile, he’d panic more than he could handle. And it was just easier to pop a pill than to try to calm himself down.

After swallowing the pill, he closed his eyes and leaned back into his seat. In less than a day, he’d be back in Seoul, which seemed unreal now after being in America for so long.

I wonder if anything had changed since I left.

It did. When Sunggyu landed and was making his way through the airport, he spotted an ad in the duty-free shop. It was Myungeun and Myungsoo promoting some sort of chocolate bar. Sunggyu grinned when he saw it and went inside to buy a few bars. They had made the chocolate look good.

While Sunggyu waited in line to purchase the chocolate, he checked his phone. There were no messages. He didn’t know what he was expecting to see and put the phone back into his pocket. He just hoped that his ride would be here anyway, message or no.

“Who are you buying the chocolates for?” the girl at the register asked. She gazed down at his hand and noticed that there was no ring. “Are you going to confess to someone? It’s almost Valentine’s Day.”

“No,” Sunggyu answered. “This is just for me.”

“Ah, well, I guess you don’t always need a reason to buy chocolate,” the girl replied and put the items in the bag. “Have a good day, sir!”

And indeed, Sunggyu didn’t need a reason to buy chocolate. It was Tuesday, and that was a reason enough.

When he left the shop, he went to baggage claim, and there he found his ride. “Wow! You look…”

Kate got up from her seat with a slight wobble. But she steadied herself and raised her hand to stop the other. “Don’t say a word. I’m a mess. I know,” she said. She then put down her hand and added, “It’s good to have you back. It’s been so long.” She didn’t really look happy to see him, which was understandable, given her present circumstances. Sunggyu didn’t expect her to look happy for awhile.

“Not that long,” Sunggyu retorted. “ But I’m glad you waited for me.”

Kate groaned and grumbled, “It was hard, trust me. Veryhard. I kinda just want to end it all.” She sat back down. She didn’t even seem to have the strength to stand for very long at all.

Sunggyu sat down beside her. “Don’t worry. I’m here now,” he said, giving her a half-smile, which she just barely returned. “Thanks for picking me up, but should you really be picking me up? You’re not in the best condition. I could’ve taken a taxi, you know.”

“What? Should I just stay inside all of the time and wallow in my misery?” Whoa, Kate looked and sounded offended, and Sunggyu wasn’t even trying to get a rise out of her. She was just in a very sensitive state.

And Sunggyu tried to remind her of that: “Don’t call it that.” He got up from his seat and walked towards the conveyor belt. His luggage would appear on it soon.

“Then what should I call it?” Kate snapped back. She had gotten up to follow him. “Slow down. You’re moving too fast.”

But I’m not even moving right now, Sunggyu thought as he stared at her, huffing and puffing. “You haven’t been getting out much lately have you,” now he was trying to get a rise out of her.

“I can’t seem to. All I seem to do is eat and sleep,” Kate replied. She then groaned again, or was it more like screeching? Because it really hurt Sunggyu’s ears. “Ugh, I hate Lee Sungyeol! I hate him for what he did to me!”

“Yes, yes, what a bastard,” Sunggyu agreed in a flat tone while searching for his luggage.

“He is!” Kate exclaimed. “Speaking of which, have you heard from him lately?” she asked suddenly.

“No.” Sunggyu’s eyes were still searching for the luggage.

“That’s a real shame, what happened,” Kate mumbled. “I’ve heard that he’s been busy lately. He’s back in Seoul too.”

Sunggyu snapped his head back to look at her. She had his undivided attention now. “Really? He’s back?” Did Sunggyu sound too eager at that moment? Yes, yes he did. He cleared his throat and turned back to the luggage. There it is! He walked over to pick his up.

Kate followed the best that he could. “Yea. Sungyeol saw him,” she wheezed. “They could only talk for a bit before Woohyun ran off somewhere.”

Sunggyu chortled. That sounds like him. Sunggyu began walking towards the entrance, nice and slow for Kate’s sake. “I’m surprised that you still talk to Sungyeol,” he remarked.

“Well, yea, he’s lucky.” Sunggyu laughed at how serious she sounded. Kate then suddenly grabbed onto his arm. “Wait, wait,” she begged. “Let’s, ugh, take a rest here.” She said and sat down at a seat nearby. She was getting all red and sweating too much.

Sunggyu sighed and sat down next to her. It was going to take them a good hour to get out of the airport at this rate, which meant Sunggyu would get home even later. And all he wanted to do now was just go home.

But as he sat down, he wondered to himself about the last time he’d talk to Nam Woohyun. I guess it would’ve been before I left for America. Has it really been that long?

He glanced back over at Kate, who seemed even worse than before. She was breathing even more heavily and wincing in pain. Uh oh. This wasn’t good. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yea, it’s just…” Kate stopped to in another breath. “...a false alarm again.”

“Are you sure?” Sunggyu challenged. “That looks pretty painful.”

“Yea,” she spoke breathlessly. “It’s been happening a lot recently. And now. Stupid, useless pain. Not even the right kind. I hate everything.” It was getting harder for her to speak.

And Sunggyu was getting seriously worried. “How long has it been?”

“Almost a week,” she answered.

“Kate, I think these might be real.”

“What?!” she blurted out followed by a trail of expletives when the next round of contractions came.

Sunggyu jumped to his feet. “Where’s Sungyeol?” he asked while helping her up.

“Out in front.”

“Come on. We got to get you to a hospital.”

It didn’t take them long to find the car, or Sungyeol.

“Why? Why? What’s wrong?” Sungyeol shouted as he got out of the front seat of his car and around around the front of it to his wife. “Is..is it actually happening? Right now?”

“I think so,” Kate answered as she was being helped into the car. “I think the baby is coming.”

As he was about to get into the car himself, Sunggyu remembered. “Wait! My bags!”

“F**k! Now? Really?” Sungyeol exclaimed in disbelief, gesturing at the lady about to give birth in the front seat.

Sunggyu was already backpedaling into the airport to get the bags he’d left behind. “I need them. There’s something…”

“Go! Hurry!” Sungyeol yelled. “She’s hurting me! A-ah!”

“Trust me. This hurts me more than it hurts you,” Kate spoke with a sneer.

“I don’t doubt it.”

Sunggyu had witnessed many wondrous things in his life, and he was about to witness one more. Everything about Kate giving birth was strange, exciting, and very anxiety-inducing. Sunggyu was glad he’d taken something earlier because riding in a car with Sungyeol speeding towards the hospital with him and Kate screaming was something he’d never want to relive again.

And the screaming didn’t stop there. While Kate was being wheeled into the hospital, she kept yelling at her baby to “Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!”

To which Sungyeol replied, “Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet!” As if the baby could actually hear them.

And Sunggyu was very happy when they were being escorted into a room to await delivery, which could be anytime in between a half an hour to hours from now. So Sunggyu went to go grab some coffee and settle in. It seemed like he wasn’t going to be able to get home for a long time now.

After Sunggyu had gotten his cup of coffee and was walking back, he passed by the entrance and stopped. The doors had just opened, and he was there. God, it felt like ages since they last saw each other. But Nam Woohyun looked the same as ever, just a bit sweaty and disheveled from running. Did he run all the way here? Well, he wasn’t running now. Woohyun was just standing there, in the doorway, staring at Sunggyu.

What happened next felt like it’d come straight from a drama. Their eyes widened. Sunggyu felt his mouth go dry as it gaped open. He walked towards the other slowly at the start, but quickly gained speed. Sunggyu didn’t even know what happened to his damned coffee cup. Had he tossed it behind him or set it down? Because it wasn’t in his hands right now! It didn’t matter because Woohyun was approaching him in the same exact manner, and was smiling.

When they finally came together, they wrapped each other but in a tight, long embrace. Woohyun had craned his neck to surreptitiously peck the other wherever his lips could reach, and Sunggyu wasn’t so secretive. “I missed you so much.” He pulled away a bit and gave the younger a short kiss on the lips. Everyone around was too concerned with pregnant ladies to pay them any heed anyway.

Or so he thought.

“Here’s your coffee, sir,” a nurse said, after Sunggyu pulled away fully. He stared at her blankly. “You handed this to me before saying ‘hi’ to your…man.”

“Oh, thank you,” Sunggyu replied lowly and shamefully.

Woohyun chuckled. “Let’s go sit down somewhere. Sungyeol and Kate are going nowhere for a while.”

“If that’s true, then why did you run all of the way here,” Sunggyu teased.

“To see you,” Woohyun retorted not skipping a beat.

“Shut up.”

Once they were outside, they’d found a bench and sat down. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t pick you up at the airport. I wanted to, but I got caught up with the foreman for the new restaurant. It was the only time that I could see him,” Woohyun excused himself. “I’d just finished with him when I got the text from you.”

“So you finally got a new phone?” Sunggyu asked. Woohyun nodded. Right after Sunggyu had left for America two months ago, Woohyun had dropped his phone into a boiling pot of stew. But he was too busy to get a new one because he’d gone to a restaurant conference in Busan and stayed longer there to learn more about the seafood industry and help out at Dongwoo’s octopus shop there. He and Sunggyu had kept in touch through emails and messaging apps. But with the time difference, they’d barely talked, and Sunggyu hadn’t heard his voice in two months, which was just weird because he was used to hearing it all of the damn time. He actually missed it. He missed Woohyun. And he was disappointed when he didn’t see Woohyun at the airport to pick him up. But he was here now, and so it didn’t really matter. “You’re done, right? You’re on vacation now?” Sunggyu asked.”

“Eung,” Woohyun replied. “And you?”

“Yes,” Sunggyu answered and broke out into an awkward laughter. “It’s going to be a weird vacation. We’re not going anywhere.”

“A week at home sounds amazing now,” Woohyun remarked as he watched Sunggyu loosen his tie and undo some buttons. He then put his arm around the elder. “I get you all to myself.”

“Eh hey. So cheesy,” Sunggyu retorted. He then felt Woohyun’s hand brush against his cheek, along the thin scar that he’d gotten years ago. Sunggyu turned to face him and the hand fell away. “Which remind me: I have something for you.” Woohyun quirked an eyebrow as he watched Sunggyu slip from his arms and bend over to get something out of his luggage. “I can’t believe this is what you wanted for your birthday. Wait...I can believe it. But just so you know, you're weird,” he joked with the other as he pulled out a box.

“My birthday was just an excuse,” Woohyun confessed. “I wouldn't be able to get you to do it otherwise. The old ones were cheap.”

“Right?” Sunggyu agreed with a snigger. “They completely changed color. And then yours actually broke,” he recalled. He remembered the guilty expression on Woohyun’s face when he came home with his couple ring broken in two. “Did you pick them up from off the streets?” That was meant to be a joke but…

“No, I bought them on the streets,” Woohyun corrected him as he took the box from Sunggyu. “I didn't have a lot of money then. Oh these are pretty!” he exclaimed as he opened it up.”

“They should be. I paid a lot for them,” Sunggyu stated. “They're tungsten too. It won't break.”

“Good,” Woohyun said as he pulled out a ring. “Let me put it on you. I didn't get to do it last time.”

Sunggyu immediately objected, hiding his hands. “No! I like doing it.”

“Why?” Woohyun laughed and offered the ring to the elder, who took it.

“I just do,” Sunggyu said at first, but the look on Woohyun’s face showed that he wanted more of an answer. “If you put it on me, then it's like you're forcing me. But if I do it, then it's my choice. See!” he exclaimed and showed the other his hand, ring and all.

“Then I'll choose to be with you too,” Woohyun spoke softly and slipped his own ring onto his finger. After he did so, Woohyun turned to Sunggyu and kissed him gently. “We should probably check up on the other two.”

“Who knows, there could be three of them right now,” Sunggyu reminded him as he got up.

“I can’t believe it,” Woohyun said as he stood up too. “We’re going to be uncles.”

“I can’t believe that Kate and Sungyeol are parents now,” Sunggyu added onto that.

“That child is going to be a terror.”

“And we’re going to have to deal with it.” The both of them shivered at that thought.

When they had got into the room, it was still only the two of them. Sungyeol told them to go home. He’d call him when the baby came, which wasn’t going to be any time soon, much to Kate’s dismay. So they left.

While they were walking to the car, Woohyun asked, “I’m hungry. Are you hungry?”

“Starving!” Sunggyu exclaimed. “Where do you want to go? Oh! Want to go to that all-you-can-eat place? A buffet?”

Woohyun shot him a baffled look. “How hungry are you?”

“What part of ‘I’m starving’ don’t you understand?” Sunggyu whined and pouted, rubbing his empty belly. “I feel weak.”

Woohyun looked him up and down before answering, “Let’s go home and order in.”

“And wait more?!”

“We have food there to tide us over, besides…” Woohyun stopped and latched onto Sunggyu from behind, arms threading around his waist. “I missed you,” he whispered into the elder’s ear, which tickled. “And I’m starving too.”

Sunggyu craned his neck to look back at him and scoffed. “You’re a monster. You know that, right? A giant cuddle monster.”

“Eung,” Woohyun hummed and hugged him more tightly, which was awkward because they both of them were still making their way to the car. So they were slowly shuffling now because Woohyun was weighing Sunggyu down. Woohyun didn’t care. He kept clinging on and spoke in a weird, monster voice, “I’m hungry for cuddles.”

“If have enough wherewithal to know not to cuddle in a restaurant but not to say things like that out loud in public?” Sunggyu pointed out.

And that finally made Woohyun let go. “Apparently not,” he mumbled. He then walked like a normal person and talked like one too, “So what do you think?”

“I don’t know. I kinda just want to eat,” Sunggyu replied, at which Woohyun rolled his eyes. He already knew that much. And Sunggyu knew he’d get food in his belly faster if they stopped elsewhere, but maybe, just maybe he was hungry for something else more than food too. “Let’s go home.”

And so he and Woohyun took their old, beat-up car back home. They weren’t exactly living a glamorous life together. Most of the money they made now was being funneled into the new location for Woohyun’s parents’ new shop and for Woohyun to open up his own seafood place. They’d also gotten a new apartment recently, slightly larger than their old place. The car was the last item on a long list of expenses. They’d probably replace it when it finally broke down, but for now, it was good.

They didn’t have the perfect life either. They had gotten into arguments and taken “breaks,” but ultimately these past two months was the longest time that they’ve ever spent apart. And it was for business reasons. Every time they fought or broke apart, Sunggyu worried less and less about them being able to make amends. They always did. They always managed to talk things out and through. They were good at talking. It might’ve taken awhile to get the conversation going sometimes, especially when one of them was in a mood, but they always ended up talking. It was something Sunggyu could always count on. Even now in the car, Sunggyu was half-falling asleep, but he hadn’t talked to Woohyun in so long, in person. He was just as hungry for conversation as he was for food. He wanted to make Woohyun smile, make him laugh, and laugh along with him. They both wanted it; they wanted to talk so badly to each other that they were constantly speaking over each other and practically shouting.

And it was great. It was one thing that would never change.

When they got home, Sunggyu slipped off his shoes, threw off his coat, and flopped onto the couch. Woohyun went into the kitchen. He took some frozen mandu from the fridge and began to heat them up. When he was done, he set the plate of mandu on the coffee table and flopped onto Sunggyu before he could get up and eat anything.

“You know, we have the whole week together?” Sunggyu teased the other for being so clingy.

“You know we spent the last two months apart?” Woohyun shot back. He pulled away, appearing annoyed. “Did you not miss me as much as I missed you?”

“You have no idea,” Sunggyu answered as he shoved food into his mouth. “Seriously,” he spoke with his mouth full of food, and it was very hard for Woohyun to take anything he said seriously at that moment.

He pulled the plate away from Sunggyu, who whined at its loss. “No, I really don’t, so just tell me,” Woohyun was forcing him to talk about it. Woohyun really was good at that, at making Sunggyu talk about his feelings, which wasn’t an easy feat, for sure. Yet the little punk managed to do it time and time again. It was one of the many reasons why they worked.

Sunggyu placed a hand on his knee and stared him straight in the eye. “I’m sorry. I love you. I really do,” now he was completely serious.

“When did you miss me the most?”

Sunggyu paused to think about it. When could Sunggyu say that he missed Woohyun the most? If he said ‘at night,’ that would imply certain things, which Sunggyu wasn’t sure if he wanted to do. ‘When I’m hungry,’ was very true because Woohyun fed him well (except for right now). But the best and only answer Sunggyu was willing to say was, “All the time.”

“Same,” Woohyun replied, with a large grin. He then pushed the plate back towards the other. “You can eat now.”

“Thank God!”

They didn’t hear from Sungyeol until early the next morning, and so Sunggyu and Woohyun spent the first day of their stay-cation at the hospital, with their new little niece.

“You guys want to meet her?” Sungyeol asked when he greeted them at the door.

“Nah, not really,” Sunggyu joked.

“Yea we only came to the hospital to get a check-up,” Woohyun played along with him. “What are you guys here for?”

Sungyeol stared at them for a moment and then ushered them inside. “Yea, you two are ready to be uncles with those lame jokes.” He then gestured over to his wife and the small bundle in her arms. “This is our daughter, Sarang. Lee Sarang.”

“She’s...” Sunggyu started but didn’t know quite how to finish. Sarang looked exactly like a baby, nothing more and nothing else.

Luckily, Woohyun covered for him, “Cute.”

“Yea, she is,” Sungyeol said proudly. He then patted Kate’s shoulder. “You did a good job, honey. Look how pretty she is.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you, really,” she replied. “She’s half yours.”

“Nuh uh, she’s allmine,” Sungyeol retorted as he gently took the baby away. “My baby girl.” He then turned to the other two. “Do you want to hold her?”

“Uh...Can I?” Sunggyu wasn’t sure if he could or should. This thing looked fragile.

“I’ve held her for long enough. Over 9 months,” Kate replied. “It’s your turn now.”

“O-okay,” Sunggyu stammered as Sungyeol had him sit down in the chair and hold Sarang for the first time. And the baby felt as fragile as she looked.

“She’s so tiny,” Sungyeol remarked as he watched Sunggyu like a hawk. “Are you sure she’s mine?” he asked Kate but didn’t even hazard a glance over at her.”

“She must have my short genes,” Kate teased as she propped herself to get a better look. “Namu, why don’t you take Sarang from Sunggyu? He doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself.”

“Can you blame me?” Sunggyu retorted. “Sungyeol won’t stop glaring at me.”

“Because you are holding her weird,” Sungyeol snapped back.

“Here, let me take her,” Woohyun offered. And the two new parents looked like they were about to have a heart attack when Woohyun plucked her away from the other and sat down. When he did, Sunggyu heard the both of them let out a breath. Woohyun nudged him. “This is how you hold a baby.”

“How is it any different from what I did?”

“I’m not so stiff, for one,” Woohyun replied. He then looked down at Sarang again. “She really is cute,” he said, below his breath.

Sunggyu smirked and had to agree. From this angle, and out of his arms, she did look cute. She especially looked cute in Woohyun’s arms. That’s when Sunggyu felt something stir inside of him that he didn’t expect to feel. And it happened again when he reached over to touch Sarang and she squirmed under his touch.

Sunggyu then looked up at Woohyun. Their eyes met. And that’s when Sunggyu knew that a ‘new car’ had gotten pushed further down their list of priorities and a new item was appearing near the top of the list.