I can't concentrate on my work again.
This is kinda depressing. I just can't stop thinking about him. His flawlessness.
His perfect looks and his dorky, cute, caring and adorable personality. 
Lee Hongki? Lee Hongki... Lee.. Hong.. Ki. 
Even his name is flawless. His existence just won't let me concentrate. 

I sipped my tea as yesterday's fan meeting came into my mind again. His outfit was really attracting, kinda confusing tho. Was he trying to seduce me? That oversized sweater which showed his collarbone and part of his shoulders. The black skinnies he probably wore to show of his legs. That cute hair of his, this time sadly hiding the mole I love so much. And those glares he sent me from time to time.
What was he trying to do? Smiling that adorably and looking at me all the time? Did he knew what feelings he caused in me? Did he try to make me angry? Was it fan service? But didn't he exaggerate then? But was I too obvious as well? Now that I think about it again, I actually stared at him a lot.

As I was deep in thought I didn't realize Minhwan standing behind me and creeping until he tapped my shoulder and said, "Hyung, what are you daydreaming again? Let's go have lunch!! Jaejinnie hyung bought chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! Chicken! [...]'' expressing his happiness while leaving the room.
As I went to follow him I forgot about my tea cup which shattered on the floor as soon as I stood up.

Wait. Why have I been so strange this past few weeks? Why am I in a trance-like state so often? It's not like I'm having a crush on him since last month. After all it's been years already. I don't even know what's happening. Is it because of the last events? Is it because of the season? The cold weather and all the lovey-dovey couples out there? Am I jealous? But why this winter? Last year it wasn't like this at all.

I heard the others rush into my room and bombard me with questions. But I could only hear Hongki's voice.
''Yah!! What are you doing?! Did you hurt yourself? Be more careful, Jonghun!'' He looked at me and held my hands to check if I was bleeding anywhere. I was getting all tingly inside, especially since his warm hands held mine which were cold. And he said my name in a worried tone again. I love him for caring for me.

''Aahh, seriously. I'm sorry. Everything's fine! Don't worry. I just didn't remember I held a cup. Let's eat now I'll clean this up later.'' I explained while smiling embarassed.
A moment later I realized which one of my tea cups it was. The most precious one. It was one of my first presents my mom gave me after our debut. Ugh. How am I supposed to tell her that I broke it? Usually I'm really careful and would never let anything like this happen, but why am I in such situations really often lately? I can't think straight and whenever I look at Hongki or whenever he looks at me, it gets even worse. I feel like being hypnotized and I don't know why. Or how I can get back to my usual self. 

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Oh it's so short :O looked much more on my iPod hahahaha.. okay.. first try.. and maybe my last try haha. Feedback is appreciated :) Once again sorry for mistakes, crappy English and boring writing style etc. :c