She still hasn’t returned her attention to him – focused entirely on the now softly breathing cherub in her arms. He tries to regain control of his emotions (he will leave her with a good impression this time) and waits patiently for her to place the baby into the stroller.

“Sorry about that,” she gives him a tiny flushed smile while straightening up.

Hyukjae swallows and moves closer “May I?”

She nods.

Gingerly he peeks at the little bundle of baby blue, “He’s beautiful.”

“I know right,” she is glowing with pride.

“What’s his name?”

“Jae Min. Kim Jae Min.”

That brings some questions in his mind.. a lot actually.

No ring? The same last name as her? So is the father no longer in the picture? Or did she just forget to put her ring on today? Maybe she wears it around her neck as a necklace?

But he’s not in a position to ask.

They stand there in an awkward silence.

She is playing with the edge of her sweater sleeve looking at the ground.. He longs to take her soft hand in his. Or to undo that topknot and run his fingers through her luxurious strands. Most of all he longs to kiss those full perfectly shaped lips.

But he can’t anymore so he settles for the next best thing – just standing there forever..  taking in the sight of her.

“So..” she finally breaks the ice, “do you come here often?” When he gives her a puzzled look, she elaborates, “the park, I mean.”

An honest sheepish smile crosses his face, “It’s my first time actually. I was going to the coffee shop when I thought I heard your voice and I sort of followed it here.”

There’s a brief flicker ofsomething in her eyes when he says that.

But all he gets is an “Ah… I see” back in response.

“You’ve been well?” he asks her after a moment.

She nods, “and you?”

“Yeah I guess,” (no not really, I’ve missed you to death!)

The phone in his pocket buzzes. He knows who it is – Ju Hyun who must now be freaking out that her boss isn’t in the office yet.

“Don’t you want to get that?” she asks.

When he shakes his head, a little smile appears on her face, “Girlfriend? It’s okay, I won’t mind.”

“No it’s work – my secretary actually!” he half shouts back, anxious to not give her the wrong idea. And then asking her to excuse him for a second, he puts the phone to his ear.

“Sir! Where are you? I know it’s not my place but this is highly irresponsible and unprofessional..” Ju Hyun’s voice is strained from trying to keep her frustration under check – that’s her in her freak out mode and Hyukjae is secretly happy because he is sure that Juhyun’s voice is loud enough for Hyoyeon to hear.

“I’m sorry Ms. Seo but I think you should run the conference for me. I think you are qualified for it.”

There is pin drop silence on the other end before he hears her sputter, “Me? Sir? Do you think I’m ready?”

“Of course you are, Ju Hyunah,” he says in a kind voice. He does feel like an older brother to her sometimes, “You will be great! I believe in you.”

He waits for a second and as expected the voice that comes back on the line is crisp and steady – Ju Hyun has overcome her classic one minute panic attacks and is back to being her efficient self – “Thank you sir, I won’t let you down.”

Hyoyeon smiles as she listens to the exchange. He’s matured a lot.

 It also gives her the opportunity to study him without any qualms. He no longer looks like the carefree boy she used to date. His shoulders are broader, his hair cut shorter – simple yet stylish –and there are lines on his forehead and around his eyes. Yes he looks older, but she kind of likes it. Even his aura is more assured and manly unlike the hyper, childish ex-boyfriend.

But her smile falters a little as her mind travels back in time to the end days of their relationship.

 A year, eleven months and twenty days ago she had broken up with him. But they both knew it was only because he had pushed her too far.

They met in the fall of 2004 on the first day of school – she had just transferred there and he was the first person she saw as she timidly entered the halls. The connection was immediate. It was strange because neither of them believed in soulmates but when their eyes locked, they both stopped for a second. When their hands touched by accident while reaching for the door handle, sparks flew and by the time they coincidentally ran into each other for the fourth time, they both knew – they were destined to be together.

He confessed to her a month later – after they had actually gotten to know each other from being in the same clubs. And he did it in the cheesiest way possible - hijacking the morning assembly (much to the frustration of the school principal since Hyukjae was a Student Council member and a senior that many emulated –  and for good reason too because after that, there was almost one morning assembly confession every month. Once even by a teacher!)

But despite Hyoyeon’s aversion to cheesiness, she found she actually loved it when it came from Hyukjae. So she joined him on stage, albeit blushing and hiding her face behind her hair. They almost kissed too but were broken up by the Gym teacher, much to Hyukjae’s chagrin.

However, later that night, as he walked her home – her hand tightly held in his – and dropped her off on her doorstep, he got his kiss.

Their relationship after was the stuff fairytales were made of. They only saw each other, only needed each other .. Hyukjae was her first boyfriend, her first kiss, her first lover – pretty much her first everything and when she reflected back on it sometimes, she thought that might have been the problem.

Slowly things changed. He changed but, she? Stupidly she had stayed the same – looking only at him, needing only him.

It all happened when Hyukjae went away to University. She was still stuck in eleventh grade and suddenly they went from spending every day together to a long distance relationship – seeing each other once every weekend.. to twice every month… and eventually once a month – and this was in the days before skype!

To put it simply, Hyukjae got scared. University was an entirely new ball game – new people, new friends, new parties, new girls hitting on him… he loved Hyoyeon.. in all these years, he never stopped, not even once but all the warnings and scepticism from his new friends about being with just one girl all his life eventually got to him. He shouldn’t have listened to them – they didn’t know Hyoyeon, they didn’t know them – Hyoyeon & Hyukjae – together; but he was hypnotized by the thrills of his new life.

His friends told him to spend less time on the phone and more time with them at frat parties, so he did. His friends told him to stay behind instead of going home to see her or else he’s miss the awesomest football game ever, so he did. His friends told him to go away with them on a backpacking trip to South America for the summer and become a real man, so he did.

It wasn’t that he didn’t miss her – every night he thought about her as he lay in bed… but he made himself feel better by saying that they had the rest of their lives to be together. He was going to marry her someday so it was alright that he was getting everything out of his system right now.

She’d understand – it was for them both. And he was also doing her a favour by letting her enjoy her final years in high school.  

Thankfully he did eventually grow out of that phase and out of those friends; meeting his best friends Donghae and Siwon in his third year – who were both in long term relationships and made him realize that he didn’t need to try to force himself to be something he’s not – just for the sake of fitting in.

But it was all too little too late…

Just before Christmas, she broke up with him – through a letter .. and by the time he had received it and rushed back home, she was gone – just like that, vanished into thin air.

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When she shakes herself out of her trance like state, she finds his eyes – misty just like hers – gazing at her.

They both instinctively know that they were thinking about the same thing. It is no use pretending -

So Hyukjae inhales deeply, lowering his head before her, “I’m sorry. I never got to say it, but I am really sorry.”

She simply shakes her head, “Don’t be. I forgave you a long time ago.”

He has done a good job of keeping calm thus far, but the understanding look in her eyes breaks him. It’s not enough for Hyukjae. He doesn’t want her to forgive him so easily.. he doesn’t deserve it but the greater part of it is the fear that it means she doesn’t care for him at all.

“I tried to find you.. I went to your house and everything was locked up, your friends didn’t have any idea either, I spent all winter break searching the streets for you,” the words just tumble out of his mouth messily – his eyes pleading for her to believe him.

He had promised himself he wouldn’t do this, but… things were not exactly going according to plan were they now?

He was prepared to grovel for forgiveness, to fight for her against any man, to shower her with so much love that she would have to give in .. but a baby? How could he ever hope to do any of those things when there was a baby involved?

“Please..” she puts her hand out to stop him, “let’s not do this.”

He stares at her helplessly – almost two years worth of hopes and dreams – shattered in an instant.

“Walk with me?” she asks after a long pause and stands up. He follows suit.

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thanks for the comments & for subscribing guys! the next chapter will be the last if things go as planned :)