Four hours and I’m still waiting for the surgeon in charge of Dong Hae’s surgery to come out. I had cleaned up, changed into clean clothes brought by Eun Hyuk and Ye Sung that belonged to – what do you know – my brother. My cuts and wounds had also been cleaned and bandaged by the nurse I had cried in front of. She was in shock and I couldn’t blame her but it went back to normal after I calmed down.

  Eun Hyuk and Ye Sung told me they had contacted my mother. She was in Shanghai and was on her way on getting a flight home. She had ditched a very important meeting for Dong Hae and I felt guilty for making her miss it. They waited alongside me as we waited for another hour.

  I was biting on my lower lip and gripping my wrists until the blood had already been constricted when a doctor came up to us and asked, “Are you the relatives of a Lee Dong Hae?”

  I stood up and answered, “Yes. How is he doctor? Is he okay?”

  He was handed a clipboard by a nurse and signed it before answering my questions. “He suffered from an enormous amount of blood loss. After stitching him up we were able to get him stabilized. He’s lucky he had enough blood circulating in his system.”

  I was completely overwhelmed with relief that my knees buckled and gave in. I was fortunate I didn’t drop to the ground because Eun Hyuk caught me in time and I used him for support.

  I asked the doctor, “Will he be okay? Can I see him?”

  “Right now we’re replenishing the blood he had lost and need plentiful amounts of rest. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to visit him tomorrow, right now . . . let the nurses take care of him.” The doctor said and left us so he could tend to the others in waiting.

  Eun Hyuk and Ye Sung accompanied me home by giving me a ride in Eun Hyuk’s car. He drove a classic black Mustang. I would’ve gone berserk and ask him a million and one questions about it if only my mind wasn’t preoccupied with the thought of my brother.

  They offered to accompany me at home but I denied the offer. I didn’t want any more rumours to spread. I did tell them though to jot down any homework for Dong Hae so that he could do them when he wakes up. He liked doing work, especially those that needed calculating. He said it gave his brain a good work out.

  When mom reached home, she fired away tons of questions in my direction and I unconsciously answered them without noticing my mother’s tears. I would’ve joined her but I felt numb. I only gave her a hug and said comforting words in her ear – the way Dong Hae always did when I was in a bad mood.

  I skipped school the next day so I could visit Dong Hae. My mom tagged along behind me. She was overwhelmed yet again when she first set eyes on him. His face was bruise and badly cut in a few places. His arms too were bruised and the deep cuts were well covered with patches of white. He looked calm though despite his condition. In his left arm there connected an IV drip and a packet of blood that matched his blood type. It was almost finished.

  Mom sat beside him while I sat at the side and held onto the fruit basket I packed just in case he was awake and wanted some apples. Granny Smith – they were his favourite. I took a bite out of it and continued to watch my mom weep by my brother’s side with her fingers intertwined with his.

  It was silent but it wasn’t awkward. Only the sound of my mother’s breathing, my brother’s machine and the sound of my munching echoed off the walls of his ward.

  “I have to go to Italy tomorrow,” my mother suddenly spoke up, a little louder so I could hear as well. She turned her head to me and said, “It might be a long trip.” From her tone of voice, I could tell she felt heavy to leave Dong Hae in this condition.

  “Couldn’t you plea for a week or two?” I asked with a hint of hope in my voice.

  She caressed Dong Hae’s face with the back of her hand before letting out a sigh and said, “I wish I could but when your father left, I used up all of my vacation plans on getting over it. The boss even let me off the hook this one time was because it was an emergency. I have to get back to work by tomorrow.” She then retorted, “Not to mention the client being a big pain in the .”

  Mom was an architect, having to discuss designs and details with clients from all around the globe. She was the best there was and works very hard – hence the title. She had to nowadays since she’s in charge of the household and has to get the food on the table at the same time. I couldn’t argue with her. I once did and it caused us to be in silence for a week or so. Dong Hae was the one who got us talking again.

  She left me in the evening because she had to start packing. She gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me to look after Dong Hae when she’s gone. The hospital allowed only one person to stay so I went back for a moment after mom had left to get a set of fresh clothes so I could change in the morning.

  Three days and those days were spent at the hospital instead of school. I intentionally didn’t go to school because I wanted to avoid the questions and sympathetic eyes. I was getting worried that Dong Hae wasn’t waking up still but I reminded myself he had just been through a car accident, even lost a lot of blood so he needed lots of time to rest and heal.

  It was the fourth day and I had run out of things to do. I couldn’t do my homework because I didn’t know who to call to ask. I had tire of the songs I repeatedly listened to in my Mp3 and my laptop had run out of batteries so I couldn’t use the hospital Wi Fi and check out movies. The only thing left to do was sit by my brother’s side and watch him.

  He seemed really at ease, almost like nothing bad had befallen upon him. If only he knew how worried I was when I first saw him on that tarred floor. I linked my fingers through his and relished the feeling of his cold skin. I massaged them the way he massaged mine that day in the principal’s office. His hand felt warmer and I suddenly remembered the memory of us – Dad, Dong Hae and me – at the lake, fishing.

  I was only eight and Dong Hae was ten. Dad had caught something and had trouble pulling it up. The three of us formed a chain and helped the other in front by pulling to get the rod up. We fell back after the hook released itself from being caught on a tree trunk that had immersed itself in the water. How we knew this? A piece of it clung to the hook. The three of us howled in laughter.

  I hadn’t realized I was crying until I felt a warm tear drop onto my hand. I wiped it away and smiled at the happy yet sad memory. “I miss dad, Dong Hae.” I spoke in a mumble. “He was always so care-free . . . just like you.” I gripped his hand tighter and lay my head on the bed beside him as I continued, “I miss you. I feel so lonely.” I confessed. “There’s not a day I don’t cry for you, Lee Dong Hae. So I’ll be waiting right here.”

I had fallen asleep after gazing at Dong Hae for such a long time. I was awakened when I felt a certain tug on my fingers. I slowly open my eyes and had to squint because of the light coming in from the windows. When my eyes were used to the light, I focused on my hand holding Dong Hae’s, I find his fingers gripping mine intensely.

  I then heard a light groan, “Ouch.”

  I sat up and watched in anticipation as Dong Hae’s forehead creased and his eyebrows furrowed as he slowly opened his eyes. When I saw his eyes looking at me, my heart skipped a beat.

  “Hye Ryung . . . you okay?” he asked in a croak.

  “Me? You should be asking yourself that question.” I said with a giggle.

  He looked down to his body and cursed, “Oh great.”

  I laughed louder and stood up so I could sit up his bed so he now sat up. I poured him a glass of water and let him take a few sips before I let him talk to mom as I got her on my cell. She was ecstatic talking to Dong Hae despite the fact she was in a meeting. After mom, I called Eun Hyuk and Ye Sung and they came over immediately after school was over.

  Eun Hyuk sat in the seats seated at the side of the room while Ye Sung sat on Dong Hae’s bed at his feet, giving Dong Hae a light foot massage.

  “Why are you suddenly this nice to me?” Dong Hae asked in a joking manner with a small smile on his lips.

  “In case you haven’t noticed, you were in an accident and nearly died, .” Ye Sung answered nonchalantly with a smile too on his lips.

  Eun Hyuk smiled in the background, watching us communicating. “Does this mean we might have to get a new leader in the dance team?” Eun Hyuk asked hopefully.

  “You little rascal,” Dong Hae said with a laugh and said, “You know you’re next in line.”

  Eun Hyuk silently cheered, ‘Yes!’ when Dong Hae said so.

  We continued to chat – well Ye Sung and Eun Hyuk did with Dong Hae. I just held on to Dong Hae’s hand and watched his expressions as he smiled, laughed and imitate. I just couldn’t help but feel glad as of this moment.