Everyone is literally trying to fix me. I didn't choose to be like this nor constantly having many problems since the day I was born. When someone passes by me and looks into my eyes, these wild ideas pop up : "is it because I look mental that's why you're glancing at me?" I make a lot of effort to act normal and human like the others. But this beast inside of me is uncontrollable. The thing I fear the most is what if that beast suddenly unleashes and I start harming others because of my mentality..? So ever since the end of my 4th grade, I've grown quieter and quieter till I became known for being the mute girl in class. Exchanging schools, losing all my friends I've known for so long at once, it ripped a part of me. Every night, I would shed tears that lasted, who am I kidding, I do not even recall the hours. I gave up on making friends, became vengeful and hated basically every single thing standing in my way. I grew hatred, loneliness and my days were mostly filled of sorrow and depression. Now I've learned one important lesson in life : the older you become, the less you become happy cause you are aware of everything. 

Here's a shocking confession. I do not know why but since the age of 7-8, I wanted to be put out of my misery. Then no more pain, suffocation, loneliness, holding grudges, hatred. Yes, all of that would simply disappear as if was never there before. Crazy I know. If you are curious, keep on reading. Yes, I come from a family, a quite messed up o