THE DAY OF THE FIRST FULL MOON

Kita had barely slept. Tonight was the night of the full moon, the night she would finally figure out what the wolves were hiding from her.

She was still in Chen and Lay’s room, having taken up residence on Chen’s bed. She’d been opposed to the idea at first, but Chen had so many blankets that the bed was irresistible after the first time she’d sat on it. And that’s where she was now, sat on the bed counting down the minutes until darkness.

Once the sun was moderately risen, she forced herself to go downstairs to the kitchen and grab her usual cereal from the cupboard. D.O. slid a bowl across the countertop to her and Chanyeol flipped a spoon at her, this morning routine already established for the three of them.

“Luhan still sleeping?” She asked.

Xiumin snorted from his seat at the breakfast bar, “Of course he is, he’s never up at this ‘god-forsaken time in the morning’.”

The kitchen laughed and continued on, Kita watching with sharp eyes to pick out anything that could be different today, any sign that they were feeling the upcoming moon.

Because she could feel it. Moonlight was important to all magical creatures, werewolves just felt it a little more. So if Kita could feel her pulse beating faster and her nerves tingling, then the wolves had to be feeling something as well. But so far, the wolves were checking out fine. Of course, she hadn’t seen Luhan yet, or Sehun.

Or Kai.

Kai was the one she was really curious about, because there was no way that he didn’t feel anything, not with the magic he had in him.

Morning was taking too long.

The minutes ticked down, Kita growing more anxious by the second. Why hadn’t Kai come downstairs yet? Even when Luhan trudged in, his fluffy bed hair in disarray and his eyes barely open, Kai was still not around.

“D.O.?” Kita asked cautiously, walking into the living room where D.O. was sat on a couch next to a pile of limbs consisting of Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and Chen.

D.O. looked at her, “is everything ok?”

“Yeah everything’s fine, I was just wondering if Kai was ok? I just haven’t seen him at all today and-”

There was an amused glint in D.O.’s eyes, and then he replied, “he’s just tired.”

“Kai’s always tired near a full moon.” Lay collapsed on the sofa, squishing himself beside D.O. “probably because he’s a natural born, must take more out of him than the rest of us.”

D.O. nodded along with Lay, no longer trying to hide it since the information was already out, “actually Kita, why don’t you go check on him? I’m sure he’s hungry by now.”

Kita nodded, trying to avoid thinking about the playful look in D.O.’s eyes that was certainly up to no good.

In the kitchen, Luhan was just finishing his food, his eyes still bleary as he tried to blink them open.

“Morning Luhan,” she teased as she went to the cupboard Kai usually rummaged in in the mornings. She received a grumble back, still too early for Luhan to form actual words. Finding nothing suitable in the cupboard, she moved over to the fridge and grabbed one of those nutrient-protein-healthy drink things Suho always had stocked there.

And then Luhan was draping himself over her back, completely letting her support his weight. “Kita I’m tired.” He whined, his usual attempts to look manly completely forgotten. Kita chuckled, helping him back to his seat and dumping him back in it, smiling at his disgruntled face, but then she felt it.

Luhan, along with the rest of the wolves, usually felt like normal people, nothing supernatural at all. But today was the day of the full moon, today was when anything abnormal would show itself, and here was a prime example.

Luhan felt… stunted. Like there was a force inside him trying to come out but it was sealed within him. He didn’t seem to notice her hand lingering on his arm as she preserved contact in order to feel whatever this was. She was expecting magic today, but magic felt alive, this was flat, almost dull.

“Everything ok Kita?”

She whirled around and saw Suho, whose eyes flickered to her contact with Luhan. She nodded, drawing her hand back and grabbing the drink for Kai.

“Yeah, it’s nothing.” Suho nodded and smiled at her, but she couldn’t help but notice the small way he turned his body as she passed him to get to the stairs, almost as if he was avoiding direct contact with her. With anyone but this pack it would have been a normal move, a polite gesture to allow her to pass, but not here.

Almost running, Kita leapt up the stairs to make it to Kai’s room, desperate to know how he felt. She didn’t even knock as she burst into his bedroom, standing like a statue in the doorway as her eyes scanned for anything out of place.

There was nothing. Just a restless Kai slumped on his mattress, blankets thrown to the ground and pillow apparently thrown during the night judging from its placement near the closet.

“Kai?” Kita closed the door softly behind her and took a few soft steps into the room. “Kai are you awake?” He grumbled something but didn’t otherwise respond or acknowledge her. She placed the drink on his nightstand and stood there, observing the sleeping wolf.

He was laying on his stomach, his shirtless back tensed so much that she could see the muscles rolling underneath his skin. His brow too, was furrowed.

His distressed appearance seemed so out of place in a place that was so comforting. The room itself was nothing really special, D.O.’s bed was made neatly, a bookshelf and a cozy bean bag chair were in the corner, but it was the atmosphere, a kind of warm blanketing feeling –

Kita looked over at Kai, this atmosphere felt like him, the same undercurrent she’d felt that first time in the kitchen, and again days before, and every single time she’d made contact with him. It was his magic, and somehow he was projecting it.

Careful not to wake him, she tiptoed forward, noticing how the atmosphere thickened as she neared him. Kneeling down beside the bed she stretched out a hand, and then, hesitantly, brushed her fingers against his bare shoulder.

The effect was instantaneous, the air growing heavy around her, losing its comfort and becoming sharper as he woke up with a start, scrambling and falling out of bed. Rushing to stand himself up he finally realised she was there and focused his glare on her, “what did you do to me?”

She held up her hands in surrender “Kai I didn’t do anything”

“Lier, I felt it!”

“It’s you Kai! Please, calm down.” His magic was pressing down on her, uncomfortably tight against her skin. Her own magic didn’t stand a chance, it had always been a small flickering flame inside her, it was nothing compared to a wolf near a full moon.

Kai was breathing hard, like moving so much had already tired him, his chest heaving.

“Kai, sit back down.” She said, taking a step back to show she wouldn’t touch him again. He eyed her for a few seconds of pressured silence before sitting on the side of the bed, letting out a sigh and then his magic was calming. Kita was grateful, his magic was as warm as the wolf himself, if not warmer, and even with the small time she’d been surrounded by it she’d felt herself burning up.

“Can I open a window?” She asked timidly, Kai nodded almost immediately, as if he was also in need of a cool breeze. When Kita returned, she sat neatly on the ground near the bed, and had a silent staring match with the wolf who seemed to want nothing more than for her to leave.

“What’s going on Kai?” She asked, finally breaking the silence that had built up between them. “You told me you didn’t have magic.”

“I don’t!” He looked at her, confused, and then she realised that somehow, he still didn’t know.

“Yes you do, what do you think this is?” She gestured to the air around her, “this heat, this pressure, don’t tell me you can’t feel it.”

He shuffled uncomfortably, averting his eyes, “I’m just sick… I get sick a lot.”

“Yeah, every full moon I’ll bet.” She bit back sarcastically, “It’s magic Kai.”

“You’re just guessing, you can’t know for sure –”

“I have magic too.” She said, cutting of his denying ramblings.

His eyes grew wide and he stared at her like a kid being shown something new for the first time, “no way.”

She nodded, “it’s not a lot, and I can’t really do much with it, but I can feel when magic is around me, and I’m promising you Kai, there’s magic in you. Enough that it reacts this much to the full moon.”

                “Prove it.” He demanded.

                “Prove what?”

                “That we have magic, both of us.”

                Kita sighed, and then had an idea, “Magic reacts to other magic. So every time I’ve touched you I’ve felt your magic, have you ever felt mine?”      

                He frowned in thought, and then shook his head.

                Kita continued, hoping that this would work. “But you can feel your magic around you now? That heat?”

                “That’s my magic?”

                She nodded, “I bet if we brought in any of the other wolves right now they wouldn’t be able to feel a thing. So it’s my bet that right now you’ll be able to feel my magic. Want to give it a try?”

                Kai was obviously tired still. The full moon probably brought out his magic like this, and he’d never had to deal with it before. He didn’t know how restrain it, or control it, so the fight against his body was probably enormous, taking all his energy. Even so, he nodded and stood up.

                “What do we do?” He sounded so determined, like he was ready to fight a battle, Kita laughed, standing to match him, and stretched out her hand.

                “Touch it. You’ll have to focus a lot because I don’t have very much.” Kita was used to shoving her magic down to avoid detection, but now she bolstered it up, lifting it to the surface of her body and feeling it flow to her fingertips.

                Her hand hung there in the space between them, Kai looking at it hesitantly until he slowly stretched out his hand and touched her open palm with a single finger.

                Again, his magic flared around him as he yanked his hand back.

                “Hey there, calm down.” Kita reminded him, “It’s a little strange the first couple times, but you felt it?”

                He nodded quickly, his lips twitching in a barely there smile, “can I try again?”

                This time he held on to her hand, wrapping his fingers around it until moments later, his other hand wrapped around her wrist to tug her closer. “Woah” he breathed under his breath, turning her hand every which way as if he could see the source of what he was feeling.

                Kita calmed, and subconsciously felt her magic settle back down into its comfort zone.

                “What, wait, no!” Kai pressed her palm to his cheek, “it’s going away!” Realising what had happened, Kita boosted her magic back up and watched as Kai calmed down, that content smile spreading over his face.

                When did we get so close? She wondered. With her hand pressed to his cheek he had yanked her closer, and now there was barely a ruler’s length between them. Still, he seemed not to notice it, so focused on the new feeling that would be passing from her hand straight through him.

                “How does this work?” He whispered, as if afraid to disturb the moment.

                Kita chuckled, he was more adorable now than she’d ever seen him. “It’s like an electric current. And since we’re connected, we’re sharing our magic.”

                “So you feel mine too?”

                She nodded, she certainly could feel his vibrant magic coursing through his body. “And as soon as we let go, all our magic comes back to us. See?” She went to lift her hand from his cheek but he wouldn’t let her.

                “Don’t, not yet, I just –”

                “It’s ok, you’ve never felt it before. It takes time to get used to.”

                “It’s not that, I’ve never felt this good during a full moon before, well not in a long time.” He paused, “Does more contact mean more magic?”

                Kita barely had time to nod before he was pulling her to him once again and cupping his hands on her bare shoulders and gently pressed his forehead to hers. His eyes were closed, and she could feel his breath flutter across her lips as he sighed in contentment. Her magic was probably rushing through him by now, she too could feel the amount of his magic rising in her own body.

                “This feels…. Nice.” He said, “Calming.”

                “Yeah.” Kita agreed. Any potential awkwardness from being so close to a half- wolf was overpowered by the soothing current of his magic, reminding her again of how it felt to be in the forest. She pressed her hands to his chest, and heard him take a breath at the unexpected move. “The seat of magic should be right here.” She pressed her fingers to his solar plexus and felt his muscles flutter under her touch. “Does it feel different?”

                He swallowed, “yeah. It’s… faster?”

                “Because I’m giving my magic a straight line to your centre, it moves faster that way.”

                The conversation drifted off, but two of them stayed there, simply standing and passing their magic back and forth between each other, finally comfortable in each other’s presence.

                “Are we interrupting something?”

                Kita and Kai jumped apart, Kai’s previously mellow magic skyrocketing once again. Suho and D.O. were stood at the door, both looking amused at the scene they’d walked in on. 

                Kita stumbled over her words for an explanation, but Kai was already talking. “Did you guys know I have magic? That’s what this thing is every full moon! Tell them Kita!”

                Kai was pretty much bouncing as he relayed the news, and then all eyes were on her waiting for her to say something. “yeah, he does.” She said lamely, what else could she say, she didn’t know anything else yet.

                “It’ll probably boost even more when you turn into a wolf.” She said idly, noticing Suho’s shifty eyes.

                “Let’s go downstairs. Kai, get dressed and meet us down there.”

Silently, Kita followed Suho downstairs as he called to everyone on the way to join them. Soon, she was sat in the living room, in a circle of couches that still didn’t fit everyone. Chen was sat on Xiumin’s lap, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were squished together on one chair, Sehun was sat on the arm of the couch, his arm around Luhan to steady himself, and Kris was stood like a formidable soldier by the fireplace. Kita was sat on the only other chair, a cushy cloth one, waiting for whatever this was to begin.

                “We know you think that –”

                “We can’t just give her all this without knowing anything.” Kris cut off Suho’s explanation, “she answers our questions first.”

                Suho sighed, but gestured that Kris should go ahead.

                “One of those letters suggested that you aren’t bound. Is that right.” His questions were phrased like statements, demanding an answer from her.

                Meekly, she nodded, “I’m the only person my age who isn’t bound yet.”

                “Why not.”

                “It’s complicated.”          

                “Then explain it.”

                Kita sighed, how should she begin? “You all know that a Fey has to bind their soul to get full rights in our world. But it’s much more than that, without being bound we feel… incomplete. Like there’s a part of us missing.”

                “We know that already.”

                “Stop rushing me” she hissed, continuing, “usually, a Fey feels drawn to whatever their element is. It’s like a pull, and as soon as you find it, you bind to it.”

                “How?” Kita ground her teeth and Kris’ constant interruptions, “I don’t know.” She grit out, “it’s different for everyone and I haven’t done it yet. Anyway, the point is that usually, Fey are drawn to the four elements. There are others too, but those are the main four. But I’ve tried all of those, and none of them fit, the only thing that has ever pulled at my soul is moonlight.”

                All of the wolves looked blankly at her, Chanyeol idly scratching his nose.

                “See, none of you understand.” Kita said, exasperated, “No Fey has ever bound to moonlight before, it’s never been done, it can’t be done. So everyone thinks I’m lying to cover up the fact that I can’t bind to anything, I’m the laughing stock of the Fey!” Her outburst was met with more silence, but this time the wolves looked sympathetic. Even Kris.

He was about to say something (probably to bark out another question), but at that moment Kai walked in the room, freshly dressed but that frown back on his face. “Kita I have a headache.” He slumped onto the arm of her chair and rest his forehead on her bare neck. He let out a sigh, “That’s better.”

One glance at Kris was enough to show he was back to being angry, and Kita rushed to explain.

“Kai has magic, the full moon makes it go wild and he gets like this. You know that, you’ve seen it every month. My magic calms his and makes him feel better.”

“You have magic?” Right. Kris didn’t know that part yet.

“Just a little. Not enough to mean anything.”

“And I’m supposed to believe you?”

“You don’t have to, you can believe Kai. Because of the full moon he can feel my magic.”

Everyone looked to Kai who was ignoring the world, soaking in her magic.

“Wait, is that why you took the moonstone?” Xiumin asked, perceptive as ever.

Kita nodded, “I was desperate for answers about binding to moonlight, and I thought if anything could have given them to me, that would have been the thing to do it.”

Suho stood, preventing Kris from asking his next question, “thank you for sharing this with us Kita, you’ve been very open and I’m sure it couldn’t have been easy for you.” He knelt before her and captured her hands in his, “it’s our turn now.”

Kita felt kai’s body chuckle as her magic spiked in anticipation, but all she could really focus on was the fact that Suho felt the same as Luhan, just as stunted and repressed.

Suho took a big breath before starting, “We used to transform into wolves, all of us. Back before we were a pack and then for a short time after. But being a wolf, it’s not a good thing Kita. We’d turn and not remember anything, waking up in an alley covered in cuts and blood that wasn’t hours. We’d spend the next month plagued with guilt and apprehension about what we might have done, and then have to go through it all again.”

He was looking straight into her eyes, as if he wanted her to feel all the pain he was feeling as he recounted his memory of the time. The other wolves too, all looked saddened. Happy virus Chanyeol had for once lost his smile, and Kita felt guilty that her curiosity had made him like this.

“We were dangerous as wolves, Kita, you have to understand that. Dangerous to anyone and anything around us. So when we were given the option to stop transforming, we jumped at it.”

To stop transforming. Kita mouthed the words, was such a thing possible? To deny the very nature of what you were?

“Who offered you this?” She asked, half-knowing but dreading the answer.

“The Fey.” Suho said, “they stop our transformations in exchange for us staying here and guarding the boundary line.”

“But that’s impossible.” Kita stood abruptly. Kai fell into her seat without her to balance him, and let out a shallow whine. Idly, she gave him her hand to which he pressed to his forehead to remove the ache. Kita spoke again, more to herself than anyone else, “the Fey barely have enough magic to keep ourselves alive, there’s no way that we have enough to…”

Then a thought struck her to the bone, and she felt Kai tighten his hold around her hand as her magic began fluctuating. She swallowed, “which of you is the oldest?”

The wolves shared a confused look, “Xiumin, why?”

Kita ignored the question and continued with her own. “That means he’s the one who transformed the most before you stopped?”

Xiumin shook his head, “no, that’d be Kai. But other than him, Kris triggered early so he transformed the most out of the rest of us.”

Kita looked slowly at Kris, the impenetrable wall who had questioned her every motive. She stretched out her hand, similar to that she had done earlier for Kai. But these were very different circumstances. “May I?”

Kris looked doubtful, crossing his arms. Kita threw every last hope to the wind, “I’ll tell you about the source of the Fey.”

                Surprise filtered across Kris’ face, his stoic mask finally broken. Kita could see that her offer was tempting him, more and more until he unceremoniously stuck his hand out to her. Reaching forward, Kita clasped her hands around his fingers, taking her hand from Kai so as to focus only on Kris.

                She felt the same resistance she had felt in Luhan and Suho, but as she focused more she could feel something underneath. She had asked for Kris because he’d had the most time as a wolf, therefore his wolf side would be more developed than the others. And here, buried deep in him, was her explanation.

                She took her hands off him, breathing deeper like she’d been kept underwater. Then a comforting heat was surrounding her and she knew it was Kai coming to stand beside her.

                “What’s going on?” Kris asked, stepping forward, looking at his hand like he expected to see something different.

                “You have magic.” Kita said, “all of you. But it’s deep and repressed, and there’s not enough to trigger a transformation.” Given that Kai had magic, and Kris had a kernel of it buried deep down below that dull feeling, Kita knew that the rest of the wolves would be the same if she looked hard enough, their magic was the source of their transformations. “My guess is that the Fey are taking your magic for themselves, which would stop your transformations.” She looked to the wolf beside her, “but Kai is a natural born wolf. He’s had that magic in him from the moment he was conceived, he can’t be parted from it so easily. That’s why, powered by the full moon, Kai’s magic shows up once a month when it should be boosted to aid in his transformation.”

                There was silence as the wolves took in this new information, the truth about what was really happening to them. “Are you sure?”

                She nodded, she was sure. There was no other possible explanation.

                “Assuming it’s true,” Chen had recovered from the information the fastest, “Why would the Fey need our magic? Why is Fey magic going away?”

                “We don’t know, it’s just been declining for years. That’s why any Fey with magic is found and brought to the Forest Centre…” She trailed off out of habit, but then remembered what she’d promised Kris. “to protect the source of the Fey.”

                She ran her hands through her hair, “This is so complicated to explain.”

                “Just try.” Suho said, his voice soft, “we’ll try our hardest to understand.”

                She looked at all of the wolves, all of them still listening and wordlessly supporting her. “Ok. So, in the centre of the Forest there’s a Tree. That Tree is what gives life to the Fey. Every single one of us has a leaf on it, it grows when we’re born and it falls when we die. Our lives are tied to that leaf.” She spoke in simple terms, pressing the importance of the bare essentials, staying on the level that would be easiest to understand.

                They looked confused, but Kita couldn’t blame them. For wolves, who had no equivalent to this, understanding the concept would be difficult. “remember how Eunhyuk gave me a leaf? That was just a random leaf off any normal tree, but it’s a warning, saying that if I step out of line more than I have already, then they’ll pull my leaf from the Tree.”

                “But… doesn’t that mean you’ll die?” Tao asked quietly, taking Kita by surprise that he was actually speaking to her, never mind being concerned about her.

                Kita nodded, “it’s our final punishment. Fey heal too quickly for anything else…”

                “But that’s awful!” Chanyeol stood, the other wolves soon standing with him, “they can’t just kill you because you can’t bind to something! That’s not your fault!”

                “Just a question…” D.O. asked in the midst of everyone’s angry mutters, “would you telling us all of this count as you ‘stepping out of line’?”

                She nodded, “Yeah.”

                “Then why did you tell us?” Chanyeol was angrier than she’d ever seen him, although most of it seemed to be concern for her.

                And that’s why she’d told them. Because they’d given more thought to her life than anyone in the forest so far. No one back home thought the Leaf ritual was barbaric and unfair, none barring her family though she deserved her life, because that’s not the way things worked there.

                But Kita couldn’t bind, she obviously wasn’t built to fit in there, and seeing how the wolves treated her here, she could only agree with that sentiment even more.

                And as the night wore on, the boys were true to their word and didn’t turn into wolves, but it was only when the morning sun rose and Kita looked at Baekhyun’s still-human face that she truly believed what the Fey were doing. It was unforgivable, to take away the very thing that made them who they were. To change their very nature in such a way was something Kita couldn’t agree with.

                But the wolves seemed not as angry as she’d expected, willing to pay whatever price it took to keep themselves human all night long, every full moon. Apparently, even if it meant staying here at this farmhouse for the rest of their lives.

______________________

Phew, a big chapter filled with a TON of stuff!

So what did you guys think? Is it all starting to make sense or is it still a big mess? :P

See you Saturday!