It never hurt to have a crush on someone, as long as you keep it to yourself.

After you’ve shared your feelings to that certain someone, there are only two options left. Yes or no.

 “Please date me?” A young handsome boy asked a younger boy. His dark brown hair hid his eyes, which showed nothing but worry about the answer.

“No,” it was a simple answer, but it hurt more than anything else.

Jonghyuns eyes wandered a bit, but after several breaths to fix his heart rhythm, he asked: “Why not?”

“I’m not gay,” Keys eyes showed no emotions, but his fingers kept playing with the zip on his vest, showing his uncertainty.

The older boy noticed Keys nervousness and decided to persevere a bit more: “I’ve heard the rumors Key. I know, you’ve dated another guy before.”

Key tensed up. This was a topic, he had hoped never would be mentioned ever again in front of him. Something he would like to forget.

As the bell rang the campus, which had been deserted, started to get crowded around them.

People who pushed each other, thinking they were busier, than everyone else, and girls walking around in groups giggling about those small stupid things. The campus, which had seemed so dead a minute ago, had come to life once again.

“I’m busy,” Key mumbled those words, as he pushed himself past Jonghyun, their shoulders brushing against each others.

Jonghyun were confused. He had seen it. All those feelings mixed up in Keys eyes, when he mentioned the other guy.

He had seemed so hurt, so lost, so lonely. This look had made Jonghyun certain, that he weren’t going to give up on his feelings just yet. Those feelings he had treasured, since his freshman year.

Key ran all the way home, trying to prevent his tears from falling.

He knew, that Jonghyun hadn’t meant to hurt him. He was a really sweet guy, who Key thought, didn’t deserve someone like him.

Just as confident Key were everyday at school, just as uncertain was he on the inside.

He had no problems being the schools diva. It was his personality, but sometimes it just contradicted the feelings he had. His past.

The next few days went by like hide-and-seek for Key and Jonghyun.

Key would hide every time he saw Jonghyun. He didn’t want to see him. Not after hurting him so much yesterday. How could he ever tell Jonghyun, how sorry he was?

On the other side was Jonghyun searching for Key. He had to ask him, what had happened in the past. What could have hurt him so much, that he didn’t let himself love another person?

Several days passed by like this. They were both waiting for the other to get tired of either hiding or seeking, but no one did.

“Just listen to what I have to say,” had a very frustrated Jonghyun yelled through the hallway a day, where he had seen Key run around the corner to avoid him not caring about all the weird stares from people, who were passing by.

Jonghyun had only seen the back of him, but he had recognized his blonde hair and the fashionable set of clothe only Key would know, how to wear without looking ridiculous.

Maybe it wasn’t just the hair or the clothes, which had made Jonghyun realize, it was Key, but the fact, that he had observed him, since their freshman year.

He knew every little thing about Key. How he would laugh really exaggerated, when he found something funny and clap his hands. How frank he was, when he answered questions from people. How he would take care of his juniors. How he fixed his hair in between classes. Everything.

As Jonghyun had all those thoughts, he decided it was time to stop their hide-and-seek. It wasn’t time to be playing around, and he was going to show Key that. That he was serious about him, whether or not, that made him gay.

Sometimes a few hours can feel like a million years. You keep waiting for the bell to call it a day, but it’s like the time has decided to stop by itself not telling anyone.

Jonghyun kept staring at the clock. The second show kept moving slower and slower. Never had Jonghyun been so annoyed at the clock before in his life.

Finally the bell rang, and Jonghyun ran out of the classroom leaving all of his stuff behind.

He had to catch Key, before he left the school.

Students were slowly pushing each other around, as they were leaving after a long day at school.

Jonghyun were going in the other direction than the others to get to the place, where Key was.

He pushed students aside, who swore at him. Words he didn’t have the time to hear.

Finally he saw him.

He was standing in the hallway talking to some of his friends.

Jonghyun started to move towards Key and his friends, but as he neared him, Key saw him.

The world around them seemed to stop, as they stared into each other’s eyes, but Key suddenly broke it, as he turned around to hide once again from Jonghyun.

“I’m not letting you get away this time,” Jonghyun mumbled to himself, as he started running to catch up to Key.

He caught Keys wrist and forcefully pushed him up against the wall besides them, as he was determined not to let him get away this time.

“Stop running away from me!” Jonghyun smirked at Key, who was nervously looking around them.

“Everyone’s looking! Please let me go,” Key pleaded Jonghyun. He usually loved attention, but not this kind.

“I won’t,” a really simple answer, followed by a really hard question, “why do you keep running away from me Key? Please tell me the truth!”

Key tried to get away from Jonghyun, but he had a really tight grip on his shoulders. His back was pushed up against the cold wall making it impossible for him to run away.

People around them had stopped to see, what was going on. They were standing in a half circle around them whispering words only they could hear.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT? GET THE OUT!” Key jumped a bit at Jonghyuns outburst. He had never imagined that Jonghyun got such a powerful voice.

Remarks about them being gay were thrown randomly around, as people started to scatter from the scene.

Jonghyun stared deeply into Keys eyes once again. “Please tell me the truth,” the words only came out as a whisper, but Key heard it clearly.

Nervously Key started to look for a way to escape, but Jonghyun wouldn’t let him.

“Tell me,” Jonghyun tightened his grip around Keys wrists, as he demanded an answer.

“No,” Key mumbled with a hoarse voice, as he looked away from Jonghyun.

Instead of asking once again, Jonghyun forcefully pressed his lips against Keys, as he took a step closer to Key, so their bodies were only a few centimeters apart.

Key gasped in surprise, and Jonghyun took the opportunity to let his tongue explore Keys mouth.

At first Key tried to push Jonghyun away, but after awhile he started to enjoy it.

 It was starting to get hard for him to deny, that he didn’t have any feelings for this guy, who didn’t have a care in the world about being gay, but Key couldn’t just forget the past so easily.

He was fully aware that people, who were passing by, whispered hurtful words about them. Words that could come to kill a person.

Even though Keys mind was trying to stick to reality, he couldn’t help but kiss Jonghyun back.

Jonghyun broke the kiss, and rested his forehead on Keys - intertwining their fingers. 

A huge smile was painted perfectly all over Jonghyuns face, and his thoughts were filled with Key.

“This meant nothing,” the words were barely audible, but Jonghyun heard them.

Jonghyun didn’t reply. He just knew that they had to talk. Alone.

Without letting go of Keys hand, Jonghyun dragged him through the school.

He found an empty classroom, and pushed Key inside, as he closed the door behind him.

“Please tell me your story?” This time Jonghyun almost begged. He was starting to get really worried about Key. He had kind of figured that those memories of Keys had broken something really important inside him.

Key sighed; “I can’t… it hurts to much.” He stared intently at his shoes. White sneakers. They matched his white t-shirt perfectly.

While embracing Key in a hug, Jonghyun sighed.

“Please tell me what’s wrong, or I can’t help you.” Jonghyun wished, he knew exactly, what to say to make everything better. That he was older and smarter, but he weren’t.

Key hugged Jonghyun back, as he took in the fragrance of his perfume.

“I used to date a guy back in High School,” Key sighed, as he said those words out loud. He stepped away from Jonghyuns embrace.

“I loved him very much, and he loved me… everything just seemed so perfect,” Key choked on his words and just stared into the ceiling trying to hold his tears back.

“It’s alright to cry Key, I’m here,” Jonghyun took Keys hand and held it tight.

Key started to cry. The tears kept falling, as he looked Jonghyun into his eyes.

“He took his own life Jonghyun!” Keys shoulders started to shake uncontrollably, and his legs gave in, as he leaned onto Jonghyun.

Jonghyun sat Key down on the floor and embraced him, while making soothing noises. Key was shaking so hard, that he thought that he would break any second.

“He… he… he…” Key tried several times to form a sentence, but he couldn’t.

Jonghyun kept holding Key tight, without saying a word. He wished, he could do something for Key, but he couldn’t.

Key took several deep breaths, before he tried to speak once again: “He couldn’t handle all the hate from everyone. He lost his family, because he was gay. They didn’t want to see him. I can’t do that to you Jonghyun! Please don’t love me!” As Key spoke, he got control over his emotions for every word he said.

“Sorry, I can’t do that Key,” Jonghyun looked apologetic at Key, as he spoke, “I’ve already fallen really hard for you! And I’m different from him! I would never leave you alone to suffer all by yourself!”

 “I don’t…” Jonghyun cut Key off, as he gently kissed Key.

“You don’t really have a choice Key,” Jonghyun smirked a bit, and ruffled Keys hair a bit.

Suddenly Jonghyun turned serious again: “I know, he hurt you a lot, and I know, you won’t just come to me, but I’ll wait for you! But please! Please don’t let me wait too long!”

Key wished that he could make himself trust Jonghyuns words, but he couldn’t.

How could he?

Key explored Jonghyuns dark eyes, which showed nothing but consideration and patient. They assured him, that he would really wait for him.

“I’ll try…” Once again Key was only mumbling. Why was it so hard for him to talk clear and loud?

“What?” Jonghyun had heard, what Key said, but he wanted to make sure, what he was talking about.

“I’ll try to forget my past, so please wait for me,” more mumbling, but Jonghyun didn’t care, he just embraced Key once again.

“Take your time! I’ll wait forever,” every word he spoke was filled with happiness.

That was when Key realized, that he shouldn’t let his past control him.

He would never be able to redo his past no matter, how much he regretted, or how much he cried.

He should accept it, learn from it and move on, since if he didn’t, there would be so many things in the future, he would miss out on.

The end