Chapter 7 Someone To Love Pt. 2

    For days the relationship between the three youngest members of the band was somewhere between awkward and happy. The other two barely showed any affection towards each other any time Jimin was around, and for that he was a little thankful. They were at least trying to be sweet and TaeHyung was still around and still wanted to play together. Jimin’s main problem was that, at this point, he was having a hard time looking a certain dance choreographer in the eyes and that boy was making life hell for it. Any time that he was alone, or that Tae or Yoongi were gone, somehow Hobi would find him and he would remember that night. It was terrifying that he would let himself be roped into that situation and worse that someone who he’d once considered a close friend would be the one to allow it, to start it. Tae and Kookie had both asked but the little dancer had kept his mouth shut. It was embarrassing and gross and he never wanted them to know. He didn’t want anyone to know.

    He’d been cornered again and this time it was in the dance studio while the others had left to rest, Hobi had made Jimin stay behind, insisting that he was doing the dance incorrectly. Although some of the members had insisted on waiting the manager had pulled them away and Jimin was left alone again. They went through the dance several more times with the older boy physically changing the position of the younger, gentle moving his thighs and adjusting his chest. It almost made Jimin sick again. His heart raced and he tried harder each time but there was no escape. Finally he collapsed out of exhaustion, he could barely lift his fingers much less escape when the older boy approached him again. Normally the little dancer had a lot of stamina but he was exhausted, physically and emotionally these days. “You’re down already?” Hobi asked, “Want me to give you a little boost?” No. Jimin thought to himself, but he couldn’t vocalize it and the older boy came closer. Stay away, he panicked but he needed to catch his breath. Hobi was close again, and his scent mingled with Jimin’s breath. It was nauseating, dizzying, but the younger boy couldn’t find escape. A strong hand pressed itself on Jimin’s arm and he could feel the older boy’s heat now. He tightened his eyes shut as tightly as possible. Stay away! Suddenly he felt the older boy move away and crisp, cool air flow across his sweaty skin. “Ah, you’re still here?” came a voice but it was thick with a warning. The younger dancer immediately opened his eyes and rolled himself over to find his blonde savior moving to squat next to him. “You two, seriously… take a break Hobi, he can barely roll over.”

    “He needs to take this dance seriously.” The older dancer defended.

    “He still needs to sing, he has a lot of parts and we have recording coming up so let him go.” The collapsed dancer could hear the choreographer make an irritated noise but he didn’t argue with the older blonde when Yoongi reached down to help Jimin up. Strong, calloused hands that helped the younger boy’s soul more than his body. “I brought you some water.” Yoongi noted, once his friend was up, tossing a bottle at Hobi and pressing Jimin’s against his cheek. It felt amazing so the boy accepted it but didn’t move it and he followed the older boy out. The blonde didn’t say anything but continued to pull Jimin by the hand through the halls and towards the exit with a strong grip. Jimin had never realized before how capable the older boy’s hands felt. They were used to create music and also to play sports. Yoongi was actually really impressive. The younger boy just observed his savior as the got into a cab and passed through the streets all the way to their dorms. The older boy paid and then clasped hands with the younger again to lead him up, into the dorms and into his shower to bathe the sweat away. He bathed away the thoughts of Hobi too, trying to wrap his head around everything again. Suddenly a thought pressed his mind and he pushed it away as soon as it came. He hadn’t hit that bottom yet… but it crept up again, later, when he curled up in his bed. At least someone wants me…

    A week passed with little to no problems until it happened, Jimin came home early from recording, exhausted so he moved to their bedroom to collapse onto the bed. It was late but his roommates were not there so he figured he’d have a little peace… until he heard them. A soft shuffling from the restroom and then two, distinct, loving voices whispering to one another before the sounds of a kiss. A deep, passionate kiss and the dancer could see them in his head, kissing, touching and doing everything he’d wanted to do himself. He could see it so clearly that he felt his heart being crushed. He considered speaking so they knew he was home but he didn’t want to ruin it either. He knew they loved each other. He couldn’t compete with that, but the sounds of their passion was too much and he pulled himself out of the bed and towards the door all the way out to their balcony before shaking hands drew out his phone. He dialed the number by heart, as he had many times up to this point and listened to it ring but instead of the steady voice that he longed for, he got the answering machine, for the first time ever. He gasped to catch his emotions and once it beeped he spoke into the receiver, “H-Hyung..” he called softly, “I… I’m really lonely… I… I don’t know what to do… I could hear them…” he felt the tears start but he struggled to continue, “Hyung… what should I do? Will no one ever choose me?” An image appeared in his mind and he considered the idea. Someone that wanted him…

    Yoongi sat back down in the comfy chair in front of the equipment and readied himself to listen to what had just been recorded when he noticed the little blinking light that signaled a missed call on his phone. He flicked the screen on and jumped when he saw the name, immediately pulling up his voicemail to listen. Hopefully it wasn’t anything big… He listened to the shaking sound of the younger boy’s voice and was already grabbing his coat by the time it cut off. He left everything as it had been and ran out of the door, the assistant working with him calling after him in confusion. In that state of mind there was no telling what Jiminie would do. He offered the taxi driver double pay to get him there as quickly as possible, dialing the younger boy back but there was no answer. “Damn” he growled before dialing again, and again and then dialing their fearless leader. “Yep” NamJoon answered.

    “Are you at home??”

    “Nah, I’m at studio B. You’re in A right?”

    “Not anymore. I’ll call you back.” Yoongi growled before clicked the call off and throwing a detailed slurry of insults at himself. How could he have missed that call? He paid the driver and took off into the building, electing to take the stairs instead of the elevator. Years of basketball paid off as he hurried up the flights with unfaltering speed. He swung the door open and saw the younger boy, standing in front of that door in their hallway. He raced forward and caught the little puppy before he could knock, yanking him out and towards his own room. He swung the door open and, a little too rudely, asked his hyung to leave. Jin shrugged, picked up his laptop, and moved out into another room. Jimin didn’t say a word, as usual. This time, though, Yoongi couldn’t let it go without a lecture. “What were you about to do?” he demanded and Jimin winced, unable to make eye contact with the older boy. “What. Were. You. About. To. Do?” He asked again, more forcefully and the little puppy boy’s eyes began to well with tears before finally he broke and rolled over on the bed to cry. This kid was going to make his hyung go crazy. How could he even consider that? He had a lot of emotional, angry questions but Jimin’s tears and shaking body told him that the younger boy didn’t need it right then. He sighed and reached out to touch the younger boy’s soft skin but Jimin winced and his hyung pulled away immediately. “Hyung…” the puppy managed, between teary gasps, “Don’t touch me… I’m dirty…”

    “You brat” Yoongi breathed before collapsing on top of the crying puppy and squeezing him tightly in his arms, “How are you dirty?”

    “I almost went in there…”

    “But you didn’t.”

    “Only because you came.”

    “I told you that I’d always come when you wanted me to.” Yoongi noted, as he felt the younger boy squirm to turn into his chest.

    “Hyung… why doesn’t anyone want me?”

    “Someone does.” Yoongi promised. He knew for sure, he knew that someone. The boy had cried himself into hiccuping in his hyung’s arms before the blonde finally sighed. “You’d look to him?” Yoongi asked, feeling a little betrayed… and really sad. Jimin tensed in his arms and he knew he’d struck a cord. “Why him?”

    “It’s just that… at least… at least he wants me.”

    “He’s not the only one!” Yoongi all but yelled and felt his own chest tighten. It was true that he hadn’t been very clear but it wasn’t the right time. It just felt like taking advantage of someone he’d watched for so long.

    “Then who else?” The little dancer demanded in return, pulling away to make eye contact, finally.

    “Right now… right now that wouldn’t be good for you. You need to heal first.” He hated saying those words, but they were true.

    “I’m trying… I’m trying but I feel so worthless, hyung! Only Hobi wants me and he scares me. My best friend is dating the guy I’ve had a crush on for years and I gave them my blessing because I love them both, but who loves me?? It’s so hard… I’m so worthless. No one will ever choose me.” It hurt. It hurt to listen to, it hurt to see the honesty, the sincerity in Jimin’s teary eyes and the hyung’s mind raced. “I just need someone… someone to love…”

    “And you’d pick someone that scares you over…” over me?

    “Over what??” The boy was almost yelling now and he couldn’t take it anymore.

    “You want someone who scares you?” he asked softly, “That’s fine.” He would give Jimin anything he wanted if it would help him heal. “What do you want? What will make you feel loved? Feel wanted?” He asked and waited in silence until the younger boy said it. Until Jimin asked him.

    “Hyung, will you be the one?”

    “The one for what?”

    “Will you love me?” Jimin asked and Yoongi was half sure the boy was asking just to make a point but if that’s what would help… “Will you hold me as your lover? Kiss me? Say sweet things to me?” The puppy in his arms continued and before he could rethink it, or talk himself out of it Yoongi answered

    “Do you want it to be me? Is that what will help you?”

    A pause that seemed like it lasted for an eternity before the younger finally answered, “Yes.” Yoongi’s heart stopped with the younger boy’s words and all of the concern in the world spoke in his ear but if this is what Jiminie wanted then… he’d give in. He’d give the boy everything he’d ever wanted, he’d fulfill all of the urges that he’d kept hidden. He’d love him until he wasn’t wanted anymore, because that is what the boy he had feelings for was asking. He breathed an okay before waiting and Jimin looked up at him with big  puppy eyes and asked one more thing, “Will you kiss me? Right now?” Yoongi nodded slowly and moved his face closer, softly watching the younger boy close his eyes. He breathed and touched his nose to the youngers. Warm skin against skin sent chills down his spine and the feeling that came with liking someone burst through him. Gently and slowly, he let their lips touch. He controlled the kiss, pulling away any time that the younger tried to push too deep, and then finally when it seemed like the puppy would beg, he pressed harder, forcing the other boy’s mouth open. A small moan sent his senses into chaos and he felt Jimin’s fingers tighten their grip on his shirt. He’d be damned for sure but he couldn’t stop. He explored the other boy’s mouth thoroughly before pulling away to breath. Jimin breathed heavily beneath him with an adorably flushed face and closed eyes before they slowly open and met the older’s. A moment of fear ran through the older boy. Had he gone too far? But the younger reached out and softly stoked his face. “Hyung… can we do that again?” he asked and Yoongi grinned down at him. Damn this kid who had wrapped him around his finger.

    Jimin woke up lying next to his hyung with chapped lips and a heart as light as air, it threatened to float away again when he watched the older boy shift slightly in his sleep. Who knew that Yoongi was so good at this stuff? They’d talked all night and kissed as many times and the little dancer had wanted. Just thinking about the kisses sent explosions through his body and his breath caught. The feeling of the older boy’s hands against his body, even through his shirt, was almost too much to handle but he couldn’t move away. All of him wanted to be there. It was more passionate and more fulfilling that Jimin could have ever hoped and he had no idea where it came from. One minute he was arguing, full of pain and self doubt, and the next… Yoongi asked the question. At first he’d denied the thought, but the more he thought about it the more he wanted it. More than ever thinking about running to the other room for attention he wanted it to be the blonde. At the time he’d ignored the selfishness of it all and merely answered how he felt. He didn’t actually think that it would happen or that it would feel this perfect or tangible. It actually felt like he wasn’t alone. He felt himself smiling up at the boy next to him. Quietly and softly he peaked over the blonde to see the other bed in the room empty before managing to place a soft kiss on the older boy’s nose. Sweet brown pools flickered open and glanced down to look at Jimin before strong arms tightened around him and pulled him closer. He felt warm, soft lips on his forehead so he snuggled in.

    “Good morning, Jimin” Yoongi whispered and the younger boy struggled to get loose enough to look up at him with the smile he couldn’t control.

    “Good morning, hyung.”

    “Okay, I swear I’ll puke, now get up and come to breakfast” came Jin’s irritated voice from the doorway. And the blonde gave a grumpy groan before sighing and releasing the younger to sit up. He ran a hand through his hair and Jimin stared at his figure for a moment. He was in such good shape. Finally Yoongi pulled himself out of bed before turning to laugh at the younger boy who hadn’t moved an inch. “What are you doing? Let’s go.” He reached out a strong slender hand and, although he didn’t want to leave that moment, the younger boy accepted it and allowed himself to be pulled up out of the sheets. While his hyung washed up the younger boy abandoned the sanctuary to sneak into his room and do the same. He tossed through his clothes for a bit before coming across the shirt that he’d been given the first time he stayed over in Jin and Yoongi’s room. He slipped it on and hurried himself out to the breakfast table, heart stopping when nearly bumped into Hobi who seemed to be leaving at the same time. He collapsed onto the wall in shock and the older boy laughed, pinching him on the cheek, before moving into the dining room. His heart was still pounding when he managed to find a seat between Yoongi and TaeHyung. The two of them greeting him happily and their warmth calmed his heart.

    “Did you come out of the hyungs’ room again?” Hobi asked suspiciously and Jimin felt himself panic for a moment. His best friend twitched beside him and almost dropped his spoon but Kookie whispered something to him and he calmed down a bit.

    “Yep.” Yoongi answered for him, “Got a problem?”

    “You two seem close lately.” Hobi pried further and Yoongi smiled at him but the smile was a warning and it was obvious.

    “Recording and dance practice today and the salon and an interview tonight.” Their leader noted, interrupting the sparks flying between the other two members.

    “Yep. Only myself and Jiminie left, right?” TaeHyung asked and the leader nodded. Tae reached over to squeeze Jimin’s hand with a box smile. He was happy that they’d be together and spending a little time, just the two of them, made the little dancer smile too. He loved everyone in the group but it was nice to spend some time with his best friend, especially since Tae was so fair with his attention. Before the two of them left with the manager Hobi managed to sneak close enough to his ear to whisper, “I hope you’re not pushing our Suga  into anything.” What did that mean? What could he be pushing the blonde into. It hit him like a ton of bricks, was he pushing him? Was he being that selfish? Again Jimin pushed the thought away, even if he was being bad and selfish, he wasn't ready to let go.

    TaeHyung followed his best friend cheerfully into the car so that they could go record. He snuggled closely in the backseat and Jimin playfully pushed him away and they chatted happily on the trip. It was nice to be close again without having to worry about other things, but no matter how he thought about it or how he tried to play, something was on his best friend’s mind. Jimin who usually did very well continuously messed up during recording and stared off into the distance distractedly. Finally they got a moment to themselves so Tae asked him what was going on. The little dancer shook it off, telling his friend that he was okay and that it was nothing to worry about so the other boy let it go for a little longer. It seemed like Jimin would never finish his part and Tae could see the producers starting to get angry to he caught the embarrassed puppy and pulled him into the restroom. He grabbed his friend’s shoulders and turned forced them to face one another. “I don’t know what’s going on… and I get that you don’t want to tell me.” The deeper voiced boy noted and the little dancer’s eyes widened as he tried to assure his friend that it wasn’t like that but the other boy shushed him and then gave him the biggest, most genuine box smile that they’d exchanged in a while. “Jiminie, I don’t know what’s wrong but you know that, no matter what, I love you right? You’re my best friend.” For a moment the boy stared at him with huge, shocked eyes and then turned bashful as he lightly punched Tae in the shoulder.

    “That was so lame.” Jimin noted with a laugh, “Gross.”

    TaeHyung laughed too and struggled to wrap his arms around the shorter boy while the puppy dancer tried his hardest to escape. Before he finally pushed the taller boy away and escaped the restroom he mumbled, so softly that Tae almost didn’t hear, “Thank you, Tae.” He still didn’t know what was wrong, but his friend seemed to be doing better so Tae let it go. The rest of the day moved smoothly and after practice JungKook pulled him to the side to complain about how he’d been gone all day. Tae laughed at his adorable loved before gently kissing him on the tip of his nose and then escaping. It was fun to tease the younger boy and when he did, the magnae would come on stronger later. Their relationship was a rush of playfulness and loving affection. Everything the hyungs had said was true. It was like fireworks that exploded in his chest and then spread like wildfires through his veins. It was addicting, painful, suffocating, and terribly comfortable all at once. The main problem was that JungKook constantly wanted attention so it was becoming hard to share with the other members. He didn’t mind so much, he loved that little mouthy brat.

    Jimin didn’t even bother going to his own room, instead he veered off to peek into the room he wanted more. Sure enough, his blonde hyung was putting on a jacket and packing up what looked like pages of notes and lyrics. He was planning to head to studio. Normally the little dancer would abandon hope of getting a little time in together after the scene but today he hesitated, watching the delicacy in which the older boy used to protect his work. The accuracy of strong, slender hands, the way his hair brushed across his face, the gleam of his neck in the room’s artificial light, lips that puckered in concentration and beautiful, intelligent eyes. Why had Jimin never noticed how beautiful his hyung was? “Are you going in or hanging out here?” NamJoon asked from behind him and the little dancer nearly jumped out of his skin, and elbowed the door in the process. He crumbled in the unbelievable pain that came with a tap on your not-so-funny bone. The puppy boy had been so lost in Yoongi that he hadn’t noticed the sly leader sneak up behind him.  “Ah” NamJoon squatted down next to him, “I didn’t mean to scare you, are you okay?”

    “Yeah, sorry, hyung, I was a little zoned out.” the dancer admitted when he heard the door behind him open. He looked up to see concerned eyes barely hidden under white blonde bangs. He smiled up at the boy and rubbed his elbow for a second longer.

    “Ya! Why are you apologizing to me?” The leader laughed before turning to their new audience, “Are you coming to studio tonight? You haven’t come in a while.” Jimin twitched. He knew that the older boy’s absence from his nights at studio was his fault.

    “That was the plan” Yoongi noted, pulling the little puppy boy to his feet with the leader following on his own. There was a little emphasis on the word was and it seemed to irritate the leader as he made a clicking noise before moving into his room. His hyung gently pulled the little dancer into his room and looked him over but Jimin assured his handsome hyung that he was okay. For some reason, the blonde being close to him set his nerves on fire and he found it hard to concentrate, or look him in the eye. “You should go,” the puppy finally noted.

    “Oh?” Yoongi asked as he lifted his glasses from the table and slipped them on.

    “I know you’ve been missing work a lot… because… because of me…”

    “Because of you?” The blonde gave him a little laugh, “don’t get cocky.” That hurt a bit.

    “You’re going then?”

    “Still the plan.” For some reason the little dancer got the feeling that the older boy was fishing for something but he wasn’t sure what.

    “Okay.” Jimin noted before turning to leave and the older boy made an irritated noise before catching the little dancer’s wrist and yanking him back in his direction. Close, their faces were close enough for the blonde rapper’s breath to mingle with the dancers and dance across his skin. “Tell me what you want.” Yoongi noted, his words brushed Jimin’s lips and caught his breath in his throat. Damn, the puppy boy thought to himself. The older boy was even more beautiful up close with his elegant eyelashes and soft pink lips. The dancer felt himself gulp on reaction. What did he want? There was so much that he wanted right then but no words would come out, no thoughts were clear enough. You, I want you...but I want you to be real. He felt himself blush as the older boy’s eyes danced across his face. He felt like his heart might explode from the most delightful stress he’d ever felt in his life. Finally, one clear thought chimed through and slowly, gently, he leaned forward and the older boy didn’t move away. He waited, and it thrilled the younger boy to, for once, be the one who started it. He placed his lips against the older boys and once again his body was wrought with fireworks and a fire that spread through him. He moved away, for a small, chaste kiss and the other boy smiled warmly at him. I want so badly for you to be real. For you to feel the same. I don’t want to be using you, I don’t want to hurt you… but I’m so selfish… I want you.

    “Come to studio with me, I’ll show you my work.”

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I'm sorry again for making Hobi seem like a creep... but if you think about it, this is how Hobi normally is. Jimin is just reading into it too much!