It was fine. It was okay.

Well, that’s at least what I told myself.

I don’t know why it had to be me. Since the beginning it was always me. I don’t know if it was because of the way I looked or the way I act. Or maybe they didn’t even had a reason. But I had no one. No one I could rely on, no friend or so. No one who coul have protected me. I was alone.

I got transferred to another school because of bullying. Bullying. How much I hated this word. I’m not a person to defend myself, I just can’t. I’m too shy and too weak. My knees shiver when those people attack me, may it be words or actions. I get so scared that I can’t talk. The words I want to scream, those endless shouts for help, stay in my head, not able to bring even one letter out. Maybe that’s the reason why they took advantage of me. Or maybe because I’m an easy target.

I will never know why.

I thought everything’s going to turn out great. That I got transferred for the good. But how could I be so wrong?

It didn’t stop. The first day I got in my school was a bad day. Everyone gave me weird looks. I transferred in the middle of the year so how could I think that it will be easy for me here?

I sank my head as I made my way to my classroom. I was embarrassed and shy - as always. I can’t change it even if I want to.

But why did I had to be so stupid? Sinking my head because of embarrassment.

I was doomed.

Doomed when my head bumped into the flat stomach of a tall person.

I didn’t see where I was going so my head hit this person’s stomach. If my mind didn’t do tricks to me right now, I could swear that I heard everyone in the hallway gaping. Frozen, I stood there, slowly looking up to see the face of the person standing there.

The first thing which entered my mind was - beautiful.

He was so beautiful.

And so tall.

It was weird. This feeling inside of me. I felt my heart in my throat, unable to speak - yet again. I felt like millions of butterflies exploded in my stomach. Such a weird feeling.

I don’t know why but he was mesmerizing. In those split seconds I figured everything from him out. His dark brown bangs covering his forehead, his shiny brown eyes looking at me, His outstanding ears. But those ears could only look good on him.

“Oh I’m sorry.” He said, his lips now quirking up to a smile, “I didn’t see you there.”

Why is he apologizing? I’m the one who bumped into him.

I stared at him like a deer caught in the flashlight. Why am I not able to speak? He looks at me, his smile which was wonderful the least, waiting for a response. There are so many thoughts in my head at the moment and so many things I want to say. I want to apologize. But none of the things I want to say, leave my mouth. Everyone’s staring at me, disappointed. All of these people give me frustrated expressions. I feel my self suffocate. I start sweating and I feel like I can’t breathe anymore. No, no. Not again. Not know.

I have a panic attack.

There is no reason why I should have a panic attack but I had one. I started running away. Away from him, away from them. I couldn’t handle the situation, I never can. In 20 minutes the lesson would start and I’m sitting here, in the girls’ restroom, crying like a baby. Why do I always have to feel so worthless? So shy and lost.

I tried to get myself together, washing my face and walking towards my classroom. My teacher approached me and here I stood, in front of the class not sure of what to say. Luckily she talked much and didn’t let me do the talking. I introduced myself and soon sat on a chair in the last row. The seat beside me was empty and honestly, I was relieved.

But this feeling wasn’t there for long.

“I’m sorry teacher! I got stopped by a teacher who wanted to talk with me.” A deep manly voice said, panting from running.

“It’s okay! Just sit on a free chair and be quiet.” The teacher said with a wide smile.

He came nearer and sat on the only empty seat of the classroom and somehow I recognized his voice. As I looked up my eyes got huge. It was the boy from earlier. The boy I bumped in earlier. The boy with the cute yet funny looking ears.

I felt people, mostly girls, stare at me with a mad stare. Maybe he is popular at this school? I tried to ignore it but my thoughts got distracted by a quiet deep voice. “Hello. You’re the girl from earlier, right? I’m Chanyeol.” He said with a grin on his face.

You can do this.

“H-Hello.. I’m y/n”

He gave me a smile and the words he said after, got my heart speeding up. “Lovely name.”

 

After school I made my way home. But something wasn’t right. I felt footsteps behind me, following me. I quickened my pace but that didn’t stop them. I started running but something stopped me before I could go any further, as I felt someone grabbing my elbow.

“Stop right here.” I heard a female voice with an annoyed tone. There were four girls, from my class, those who were looking at me frustrated, standing there and surrounding me.

“What do you want?” I managed to get out.

“How dare you be like this to Chanyeol! At first when we saw you being so disrespectful to our precious Chanyeol, we let you get away. But when we saw that you’re even sitting next to him, it was enough for us!”

“I-I’m sorry.. I don’t know-

“You don’t have to know anything! You will pay for how you treated him back there. No one would be like that to him.”

“I.. I-

But before I could say anything further I felt a sharp pain on my right knee. They pushed me on the gound, my knee hitting the cold concrete under it. I whinced at the pain on my knee as I layed there. The only thing I heard where the laughter of the four girls, running away in glee.

Weeks passed and I am so damn tired. Tired of all this bull. Weeks passed of always getting hit and pushed on the gound or the lockers. My body hurts and I don’t know how to defend myself. One day it was too much. Too much pain. Chanyeol always asked what was wrong, what happened. But they said if I tell anyone or Chanyeol, they’d hurt me worse.

They started pushing me again and again and I just had enough. I wanted to defend myself, only this one time.

“Stop it..please let me be!” I begged but that didn’t stop them.

“Defending yourself now, huh? Talking back at us! That’s what you get from being so reckless.” She snapped at me, pulling my hair. My vision got darker as I felt a fist on the side of my face. It hurt so much. What did I do to deserve this? I am so weak.

I stumbled my way to the classroom, hoping no one would be there except for the teacher because the lesson didn’t start yet. I kept my head down so that no one could see my swollen face.

I felt my vision getting blurrier and darker but I still tried to find the way to the room. I made it, standing in the doorway. I saw to figures standing there, not able to tell who’s there through my blurriness. I heard them talking about school stuff but I couldn’t wait, I had to interrupt them.

“T-Teacher.. I’m..”

Both of those two figures started looking at me. 

“I’m..” But before I could continue I felt the world around me blacken and before I cound do anything I fell on the ground.

“Y/N!” I heard a male voice shouting my name. Chanyeol? Is that you?

The last thing I heard was the teacher telling the other person to bring me to the school’s nurse.

 

 

I woke up. My eyes burning from the sudden bright light, entering them.

“You woke up.” I heard someone say beside me. turned my head to the direction of the sudden voice. It was Chanyeol, looking at me like no one ever did. Concern and worry visible in his face and eyes. I don’t want him to see me like this. No, not him.

I sank my head, in order he wouldn’t see.

“Show me your face.”

I didn’t obey. How can I face him like this?

“Y/N” He said with a now stern voice. “Show me you face.”

I slowly lifted my face and turned my head towards him. I felt so embarrassed. I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want anybody to see me like this. 

I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

Chanyeol looked at my face with a hurt expression. I felt him muster every little detail on my face. Every litte scratch and bump. He’s coming closer and closer. I’m frozen on the spot. He’s mesmerizing. The way he looks at me. Everything.

What he did next was unexpected.

He streched his arm out, his fingers making his way towards me. His soft fingers on my cheek now. I flinched from the short pain but it was okay. He started carressing my cheek. My heart is beating faster and faster, scared he’ll might hear.

“I am so sorry.”

“..For what? It’s not your fault.”

“It is my fault.” Chanyeol said with a sad tone in his voice. “If those ‘fangirls’ of mine weren’t so obsessed with me, they wouldn’t hit you.”

Why does he know? If they find out he knows, then I’m dead! My eyes went huge from the shock.

“Of course I’d know..I’m not that stupid.”

I didn’t answer for a while but did soon after.

“You’re not stupid Chanyeol. You’re anything but that. You don’t have to feel sorry for things you’re not responsible for. It was them and not you. They wouldn’t have started this, if I wouldn’t have been so stupid back then. I was hyperventilating back then, I’m the one who should be sorry. Bumping into you and not even saying sorry. That was rude.”

“It’s okay”, he said, shortly after. His hand leaving my cheeks now. I already missed hia gentle touch on my skin. 

“You are the first person who were like this to me. I don’t know why, but you’re enchanting.”

Me? Enchanting? What is he talking about?

I felt my cheeks heatening up and my breath stuck in my throat.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, ever again. Especially beacause of me. I want to protect you.”

“I’m only a burden, Chanyeol. Let it be. I always will be alone no matter what.”

Chanyeol came nearer and took my hand in this. What is he doing?

“Since the first day I saw you, I was mesmerized. I don’t want you to be alone. I want to be by your side.” Chanyeol showed me a large smile.

 I felt my heart bleeding. And millions of butterflies flying around in my stomach. 

Is that what love feels like?

He cupped my cheeks with his hands and stared intensely in my eyes.

“You’re beautiful.”

He pressed his lips on mine. I felt like I am floating in heaven. His soft lips on mine is something I always want to feel forever.

As he pulled out he gave me a reassuring smile.

“You’re not alone anymore.”