Kim Soeun spent her holiday liked what she normally did every year. She made lots of money because more customers mean more tips and she can also claim for overtime. She usually felt very happy to get more money but for some reasons she felt empty. She should immune to loneliness and emptiness because she lives in that world for so long but lately she started to miss a companion.

She still received the gifts from her secret admirer but she can’t feel the happiness like before. It’s all thanked to the new delivery guy who talked so fast like a robot. She started to miss the old one and she was afraid to ‘miss’ him because this feeling was new to her.

Ten days have passed by since the last time she saw him and only a few hours left for everyone to start a new year. Every year the restaurant owner will close his business for two days at the end of the year till the start of the year. It’s the only two days that Soeun can rest in the evening and usually she look forward for these days. But now sitting alone in her room while trying to understand the one page lecture note that usually not hard to understand, she wished that she rather been busy serving the customers than reading the same paragraph over and over again.

She tightened the blanket that drape around her body as the chill air continued to attack her. She already wore two layers of shirt and two layers of sweater but it still cannot defeat the chill air that coming from the snow storm outside her flat.  It was the first time the snow fell this heavy. In the end she decided to pack all her books and kept it inside her bag. She placed the futon on her bedroom floor and immediately laid herself on it and hides herself under the tick blanket, but she still shivering profusely. 

At time like this, she wished that she had someone to ask for help. At time like this, she wished that her mother still there by her side. She felt helpless and the thought of her die due to hypothermia dominated her mind. She hoped that her neighbour won’t take days to find her corpse and she started to feel afraid that nobody will realised that she already decompose under the thick blanket. She didn’t want to die alone.

Suddenly Soeun heard loud knocks on her front door and she ran to the door to tell the person that he or she went to the wrong house. But when she opened the door, the delivery guy (the previous one) immediately barged into her house and grinned at her.

“I bought you a heater. It’s freezing today and I remember that your house doesn’t have a heater so here I come.”

Soeun stared at him as he went to her bedroom without her invitation. He took out the heater from the box and assembled it for her. She studied his figure, his cap and his sweater were still covered with snow and she can see him shivering a little. She cannot believe her eyes, she can’t believe that there’s someone who still cared for her.

“Done!” The delivery guy grinned at her while rubbing his hands to warm himself but she just stared at him with unreadable expression. The guy’s face slowly changed to apologetic expression. “S..sorry, I shouldn’t barged into your house like this. I…I just I want to warm you. No! I mean I want to keep you warm…”

Soeun silenced him when she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face on his chest. She can feel him stiffened under her touch but then he relaxed and embraced her back. One hand rested on her back while another one caressing her hair.

“Thank you.” She mumbled on his chest.

 “You’re welcome.”

After a long comfortable silence, he gently pushed her shoulders and gazed at her face. Slowly his face descending to hers and she closed her eyes as an approval to what comes next. He gently kissed her lips and at first she didn’t know how to react but after a while her lips naturally reacted on its own.

She heard voices at the back of her mind telling her what she did with that stranger was wrong. She agreed with the voices but done nothing to push him away. Even when he laid her on her futon, she just deafened her mind and responded to his gentle touch. 

.

“Am I hurting you?” She heard the delivery guy asking her after their hot . It’s still snowing out there but being close to him, skin to skin, made her whole body felt warm. Maybe with the help from the heater too.

“No.” she answered huskily. She closed her eyes as she enjoyed his touch. His hand slowly made circles on her while his lips chastely kiss the top of her head. She can hear his hammering heart beating under her ear and she smile proudly at the effect she caused him. She tightens her embrace and rubbed her cheek on his hard chest.

“You should eat more. You’re so skinny and I’m afraid if I hold you tightly, your bone will crush.”

Soeun laughs heartily at his words. “Then you should hug my fluffy teddy bear instead of me.” She wanted to rise up from his body but he immediately hugged her waist to keep her close with him.

Distantly they heard the sound of fireworks thundering the black sky. They simultaneously looked at the window and saw the colourful fireworks through her thin curtain. “Happy new year Miss Kim.” He wished her.

She wanted to wish him back and asked for his name but her eyelids felt very heavy. She felt him tighten his embrace while kept rubbing her body to keep her warm. Slowly she drifted to sleep but she reminded herself to ask for his name first thing in the morning.

.

When morning came, Soeun woke up because of the sound of an ambulance passed through her area. It’s quite normal that many accidents occur on New Year’s Eve till morning because many drunk driver would violated the law after celebrating the start of the new year.

Soeun found herself alone on her futon and there was no sign of the delivery guy. She looked to her side and found the portable heater stood closer to her. She smiled at the device that kept her warm and wondering where the owner is. Then she saw a yellow post-it-note stick at the side of the heater and it’s written;

I’ll be back. Wait for me…

                                                       -Jun-

Jun? Soeun was wondering that maybe the letters stands for his name. Never mind, she will found out when she meet him later. So she waited patiently for him to come back to her.

One day has passed by and she kept on waiting for him but until the seventh day, there was still no sign of him at all. Then it started with one again, one week. She waited until the fourth week but then it started with one again, one month. But now, she wanted to stop waiting. What can she hope from a total stranger?

Her secret admirer also has stopped sending gifts to her. Maybe this mysterious man knows about her affair with his delivery guy.

She can’t believe that she can be so stupid to pay a heater with her body. How cheap the price of her ity is! She shouldn’t trust him at the first place and it was useless to regret it now. So instead of wallowing her miserable life, she chose to forget about her mistake and start her life again. She spent all her time with work and study because if she ever had a free time, she will start missing the delivery guy again.

She overwork herself and almost faint while working at the restaurant. Her colleagues had to force her to see the doctor and her boss was willing to give her a day off without cutting her pay.

.

“Congratulation, you’re pregnant Miss Kim.” It was the last thing that she never hopes to hear from the doctor.

“It can’t be. I can’t be pregnant. There must be some mistake!”

“Well after 20 years becoming a doctor, I’m very sure that it is not a mistake.”

Soeun stormed out from the treatment room and took a bus to the courier’s company where he worked at. She had to find him, she had to find the father of her child and told him about her pregnancy, but it hard to find a man without a full name. She tried to describe his physical appearance but no one knew him. When she told her area code, the only delivery guy designated to her area was the robotic-man that she met after her delivery guy took a leave.  

Her knees turned jelly and she dropped on the floor as she realised that she had been tricked by the delivery guy. She wanted to forget about her mistake but with his seed growing inside her womb, she sure be reminded about him all the time. And what will happen if his child looks exactly like him, will she hate it? Will she hate his child although it is hers too?

She can’t hold her tears anymore. She cried her heart out and didn’t care about how people looking at her. She will repeat her mother’s life. She can see her future already because it was just like her life in the past. She knew what will be her answer when her child asking about his or her father; only a dead silence.