There was an absolute silence; a silence full of uncertainties and regrets. The atmosphere had turned heavy and daunting, so much that it was difficult for those present to breathe easily. However, the most affected by the weight of reality was undoubtedly Chanyeol, who still had problems to assimilate what was happening. He felt numb, as if this were a scary dream, because there was no way that Baekhyun could have said those words for real. Baekhyun wouldn’t be capable of abandoning him, not when he knew how much the giant needed him in his life in order to function properly. But then he felt an inexplicable ache in his heart, indicating that this was very real, that the words his tiny lover had spoken were true. The puppy really wanted to break up with him and the giant couldn’t believe this was happening.

“N-No … ” The latter whispered when he finally found his voice.

Baekhyun looked at him with sad eyes – he still had unshed tears and his cheeks were still soaked – but there was resolution behind them too. This was all, there was nothing else to do but to end their relationship because the blond-haired boy had trusted in his boyfriend and this one had disappointed him so badly. For the puppy Chanyeol’s decision was quite clear, and he was already tired of being the second option all the time. Everyone had a limit, even Baekhyun.

“Chanyeol, you already made a decision apparently and I don’t fit in it anymore.” The blond-haired boy said gently, since as much as he wanted to be extremely angry with his boyfriend and hate him for all the suffering he had put him through so far, the pup simply couldn’t find in himself the will for that. By itself Baekhyun was already lenient and gentle, and to that we had to add the deep love he felt for the giant. The smaller was unable to have such negative feelings towards his lover.

“No!” Chanyeol repeated more firmly this time, refusing to accept the decision Baekhyun had made. “You're not going to break up with me. You are not going to leave me.” Stated shakily, on the verge of tears.

“Chanyeol … ” The other boy sighed, exhausted by the whole situation, because the taller wasn’t making things any easier. Not only he had to deal with the weight of his heart but also had to deal with the insistence and stubbornness of the giant. It was hard enough for the puppy to break with the man he loved already, so the giant didn’t have to add fuel to the fire.

“No, stop! I'm not going to break up with you! You're going to stay with me and we'll get through this, okay? I'm really sorry. I was a fool, a bastard, but don’t do this to me. I'll do what you want as long as you stay with me. Please, just … don’t go. I swear that this is never going to happen ever again. I promise that from now on I will spend every moment of my life make it up to you for what I did. So give me another chance, love … please.” Chanyeol said with desperation coming out from every syllable, word and promise.

And unable to bear the distance between them in more than one sense, the giant advanced towards his lover, taking a step at a time since he feared for the other’s reaction. As expected Baekhyun stepped back instantly, without wanting to be too close to the actuary, because he knew that any contact with him would make him lose all his determination. That was the effect the tall boy had on him, and couldn’t allow to lose himself in his eyes, in his smile or in his touch right now, not when he was so extraordinarily vulnerable, after all the pup just witnessed how the man who he had been dating for four years cheated on him with the former boyfriend that Chanyeol could never completely forget. It was something extremely painful, and he was trying really hard not to give in to his emotions and cry hysterically in a corner, and he feared that Chanyeol’s touch could ruin all his efforts to appear strong. Besides the view of the giant half- torso with hickeys on its entire surface only accentuated the fact that the taller never belonged to him in first place.

Nevertheless, despite the unsatisfied reaction of the puppy, the actuary continued to move decisively without enduring this situation any longer, but mostly he could not stand not being able to approach his lover and comfort him as he wanted to. Thus, as if it were a comedy, Baekhyun started running in circles around the couch to get away from Chanyeol, who in turn began to chase after the other insistently without giving up. It could have been a pretty comical scene. Well, that is if the blond-haired boy was not screaming in despair while crying pathetically in an attempt to escape from his boyfriend and their failed relationship.

“Baekhyun, dammit! Come here!” The giant yelled exasperated. He was very close to losing his special someone and that had him extremely anxious and fearful.

“Please leave me alone, Chanyeol! I don’t want you to touch me!” Baekhyun yelled back, dodging stupendously from the clutches of his boyfriend thanks to his agility and speed.

As soon the taller heard those words his heart started to hurt in an extraordinary way, but also something within him exploded, something illogical and irrational, because he knew he had no right to feel outraged and angry at what his boyfriend had said. In fact he deserved it, but he could not bear the fact that Baekhyun was pushing him away.

“Am I so disgusting that you don’t even want to touch me now? Am I that disgusting to you now that I have the traces of my sin in my body? Answer me, Baek!” He shouted angrily as he kept going around and around trying to catch the other in vain, well aware that Kyungsoo had left hickeys all over his torso. Just by thinking about that he himself was disgusted with his own person.

Baekhyun suddenly stopped short, not believing what he had just heard. Chanyeol took the opportunity without hesitation and grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him over almost aggressively to face him and examine his expression once and for all. The giant expected to see vulnerability and suffering, but nothing prepared him for what he saw in the expression of his puppy. The latter was really outraged and angry, for the very first time in his life he wanted to hit something to vent his frustration, because this was very unfair, what Chanyeol had said was very unfair. His boyfriend had no right to get angry with him for wanting to escape from all this, from all this suffering … from the betrayal. And as if that weren't enough the taller was trying to make him feel guilty for wanting to get away from him, for not wanting to be touched by him, accusing him in the process of grossing out his body when all the pup wanted was just to get away from Chanyeol to not be hurt again, to not give in to his impulses and go running into the arms that just seconds ago had held another person who wasn’t Baekhyun. Everything was unfair and Baekhyun just wanted to end it all to finally rest his aching heart.

“How dare you say something like that, Chanyeol? How dare you to be mad at me when the victim of all this it’s me? How dare you to act like this when all this time all I did was try to make you happy without thinking about my own feelings? Everything I did I did it for you, for us and all that you have done is being stuck in the past that you shared with your ex-boyfriend. I never reproached you anything, Chanyeol, because I understood what you were going through … I understood your feelings and accept the love that you still had towards Kyungsoo, but you took advantage of my understanding … No, worse … You took advantage of the trust I had in you. Maybe I'm the one to blame for everything, maybe I should have been a little more selfish and make you understand that I just want you to love me for me. I … I just wanted you to look only at me.” He uttered the last words softly, in a bleak and uncertain tone of voice. “And I would never be disgusted by your body, Chanyeol, even if it were full of scars and burns.” Added in a whisper with his eyes fixed on Chanyeol’s marked torso, the same soft and toned torso he had kissed and caressed just this morning.

“Baekhyun … ” Chanyeol muttered clumsily, leaving aside immediately his frustration and anger, as he could not be upset when all the smaller had said was the truth, the harsh reality, and now that he was hearing it by the pup’s own mouth the giant realized how much he had failed as a boyfriend. The blond-haired boy was always the one who put everything in the relationship while he was only receiving. That was the truth and it hurt so damn much.

“Just … Just let’s break up. I cannot continue like this. If you really love Kyungsoo I can’t do anything about it anymore, sorry. I tried, Chanyeol. I really tried to make you forget him and that all of your thoughts of him could be replaced by me, but I failed and I don’t want to keep fighting. I'm tired of always being the one who gets hurt. I want to be happy and want you to be happy too. So this is the best for both of us.”

Instantly the giant began to shake his head. He didn’t want this; he didn’t even have intentions to go back to his damn ex, that was out of the question, because he really wasn’t interested. The actuary wasn’t ready to let go of his precious boyfriend, never wanted to be prepared to do so, ‘cause he loved him more than he ever imagined. What happened with Kyungsoo was a stupidity, a slip, a damn mistake.

“Baekhyun, you don’t understand. I don’t want to be with Kyungsoo. I want to be with you.” Refuted frantically, tightening the grip he had on Baekhyun’s delicate shoulders with apprehension.

The giant wanted to make the smaller understand his true feelings, but didn’t know how to express himself, didn’t know how to convey his message in words. He had never been good with words and now he was losing his lover for it.

They were so busy with their argument that both had completely forgotten about Kyungsoo, who was still lying on the ground watching the whole scene with deep suspicion. He was not satisfied with this; this was not what he was expecting. He was not satisfied with Baekhyun’s reaction, not even with Chanyeol’s reaction. Well, he expected the puppy to react like that and say those words full of emotion and sense, after all Baekhyun was good with words and speeches. Yet what he wasn’t expecting was to see the pure and intense despair that Chanyeol was showing at this moment. Kyungsoo believed that his ex-boyfriend would finally realize that they belonged together after having reminded him how his lips felt against his own, but all he was seeing in the face of his beloved was deep repentance and a remarkable despair, and he ing hated it. And it got worse when he heard the last thing Chanyeol had said.

“Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo yelled, standing with difficulty since it had actually been a sharp fall.

The boy couldn’t lose his beloved once again. So he quickly approached the actuary and took his arm abruptly, keeping him away from the puppy by force. “How can you say that, huh? Stop lying, Chanyeol! Don’t you realize the situation? You’re finally free. You can now choose me without worrying about Baekhyun.” The boy sounded pathetic, grasping at any chance for more ridiculously low it was. But he wasn't thinking at this point, he was just trying not to drown in the sad reality.

The giant looked down at his former best friend and saw how pathetic he looked while he begged him to go back to him with his eyes. Chanyeol could only frown disapprovingly, because suddenly Kyungsoo looked unattractive in his eyes. Suddenly he could see everything clearly and when he looked at Kyungsoo wasn’t looking at the person with whom he wanted to be for the rest of his life, now all he felt when he looked at those big black eyes that he once loved with all his being was frustration and something akin to hatred. The smaller was the one to blame for everything; he was the culprit of Baekhyun’s pain and the cause of Chanyeol’s faults. Albeit it was a coward move of him to think in that so selfish way he couldn’t help but blame him from everything when his relationship was about to collapse.

“C-Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo whispered upon seeing the piercing cold glare that was headed in his direction. He had never seen such coldness stem from the giant, much less directed towards him since he was one of the people who Chanyeol most appreciated in the world. Well, that was before, now he didn’t even know what he meant for the guy.

“I want you to leave and never come back, Kyungsoo. Get out of my life once and for all. Don’t ever show up in front of me again and don’t you dare to get close to Baekhyun. I swear if you hurt him I don’t know what will happen to you.” He pronounced each syllable with fury. He was trying really hard not to lose it just because Baekhyun was there witnessing all and the last thing he wanted to do after this mess was scare him off.

“B-But Chanyeol … ” He muttered dumbfounded, incredulous and he was starting to feel really betrayed for some reason.

“Just get out of my damn sight!” The giant growled tired of kyungsoo’s annoying insistence, and without wanting to deal with this annoying guy any longer, he grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the door. He didn’t mind his screams or resistance when he opened the door to push him out of his apartment. The smaller didn’t even have time to hit him for being so brusque and careless with him because Chanyeol had already closed the door on his face with unnecessary force. Yet, Kyungsoo immediately began knocking the door endlessly, crying to let be in again as he still had his upper body and refused to go out in such conditions, obviously. It was finally Baekhyun the first one to react upon hearing that argument whereas Chanyeol only glared at the door, as if his glare was able to cross the material and reach the object of his annoyance.

Baekhyun picked up from the ground the thin shirt and leather jacket that should belong to Kyungsoo, or at least that indicated the small size of the garments. And then – with an unreadable expression – he opened the door and handed the clothes gently to a surprised and ashamed Kyungsoo.

“Uh ... thanks.” Kyungsoo whispered cautiously, examining the face of the other boy carefully waiting for Baekhyun to explode at any time and to finally vent his anger with the person with whom his boyfriend had fooled around. Yet he should have known better, because all he got was a slight and sincere smile as a goodbye before the puppy gently closed the door. When the petite male was face to face with the closed door once again he forced a pathetic chuckle, because what did he expect of Baekhyun really? A slap? An insult? After all the blonde-haired boy wasn't that kind of person, he was gentle whereas Kyungsoo was just a homewrecker ...

“You shouldn't have kicked him out like that, or at least you should have given him time to get dressed.” Baekhyun said once they were completely alone. The smaller was looking at the taller with a look that couldn't be read, his face was blank and Chanyeol could not guess what he was thinking.

“I don’t give a . I couldn't bear to look at him any longer knowing he is the responsible for everything that is happening. Thanks to him I'm about to lose you, Baekhyun.” He said more harshly than he had intended to.

“That's not true. Kyungsoo is not responsible for everything, because at the end you need two to tango, Chanyeol. Besides the one who was in a relationship here it was you, so you had the responsibility to say no. I didn’t expect anything from Kyungsoo because he’s nothing to me, but I counted on you, Chanyeol. I did trust you and I thought you loved me enough to respect me.” The blond-haired boy said with a soft but precise tone of voice, looking him straight in the eyes.

At that moment the giant felt ashamed because Baekhyun had a point indeed and he had to admit that everything his lover had said was nothing but the cruel truth. He could have stopped Kyungsoo, but he didn’t, quite the opposite in fact. He recognized it, he admitted it ... It was his fault, but what could he do to convince his boyfriend not to leave him? What he had to do to make it all better? What he had to do to put all this behind? Chanyeol was completely lost; he didn’t even know what to say to win the forgiveness of his beloved. The taller couldn’t even look him straight in the eye without wanting to cry in a mixture of shame and despair.

The pup sighed deeply when he saw the expression of the giant. He could tell that the taller didn’t know what to do or what to say at this point, and he could also see agony and despair in those lonely watery eyes. However there was no turning back, this was final, the pup no longer wanted to continue giving more turns in this matter. He was so done and wanted to move on. “Well, I think this is it. I’ll pick my things as soon as possible, definitely before the end of next week.” He announced softly.

“No, please.” The other whispered stupidly. It was really happening, everything was ending here and now. And Chanyeol still didn't know what the hell to do.

Baekhyun grinned at him gently when he saw the confusion on the other’s face. “It’s okay, Channie. Everything will be fine. You just need to find yourself, get to know yourself and then you will know what you really want. And you need to do it alone, I can no longer continue showing the way ... you have to do it all alone this time.” He said looking at him with those adorable droopy eyes of his that Chanyeol adored so much.

Only then, after a last look full of love, the puppy was gone, leaving him lost and with a heart full of guilt. His last words were spinning in his head, but Chanyeol didn’t know what he meant with them. Besides, the latter was too hurt by the loss of his love to think of anything else besides pain and regret.

Chanyeol was facing the ceiling with a blank stare, trying to kill time somehow. It was nine o'clock at night and he had just returned from work. On a normal day he would be keeping his boyfriend company as the latter made dinner, and both would be flirting as if there were no tomorrow as they waited for everything to cook. On a normal day he would be happy to return home after a long day of work only to see the radiant smile of his cute lover. On a normal day he would be wrapping his baby boy between his longs limbs while he buried his face in the blond-haired boy’s neck to smell his exquisite scent.

However, this wasn't a normal day. In fact the giant hadn’t had a normal day precisely since his – now – ex boyfriend broke up with him, and that was five days ago exactly; five days full of emptiness and devastating loneliness. The giant didn’t even remember how was life without Baekhyun, because he would never have had a life if it hadn’t been for the smaller in first place. It had only been five days since the separation and he already felt lost without his precious puppy.

Chanyeol didn't know what to do or what to expect from all this. But regardless of the case he intended to win his ex-boyfriend back, knowing that he couldn't be without his true love, because yes, he loved him so ing much and his heart had chosen him before his mind could acknowledge it. So he didn’t have intentions to give up just yet, but life seemed not to want to make things easy for him, because when he finally mustered the courage to confront his insecurities and started begging again for the pup’s forgiveness after the breakup he had encountered several obstacles. Baekhyun wasn’t answering his calls or messages and the actuary had no idea where the other might be. He went to the house of Baekhyun’s parents hoping his baby boy would be there waiting for him, but not even his parents seemed to know where their precious son was. In fact, he went so far as to contact his former boyfriend’s friends for more information, but no one knew the whereabouts of the blond-haired boy.

Chanyeol knew they were lying and that they just didn’t want to tell him the truth perhaps at Baekhyun’s request, he sensed it in every fiber of his being. After all it was impossible for the pup to disappear from the face of the earth without warning anyone, he wasn’t that kind of person, he would never worry people he loved in any way.

So, how to find someone who didn’t want to be found? That was what Chanyeol wondered all the damn time. He was desperate to fix what he had done wrong. Although he knew it wasn’t that simple anymore, he had really disappointed his baby this time, he saw it in his eyes, in his actions. He himself was disappointed with his own self for having been carried away so easily when at that moment he was full aware of the promises he had made to Baekhyun.

If he could turn back time he would do everything differently. The giant wouldn’t limited himself to change only the moment of betrayal but also would hit his past self to make him come to his ing senses and make him notice that the perfect person for him wasn’t Kyungsoo but Baekhyun, all this time had only been him actually. How could he had been so stupid and blind to realize that Baekhyun was so much more than his special someone?

Now he realized of many things in fact, suddenly everything was much clearer, coming to the conclusion that during all this time Chanyeol had behaved like an immature teenager who didn’t know what he wanted. Always being the only one receiving without giving almost anything in return. Baekhyun was the one who always gave while the giant just received everything very comfortably, always inside his comfort zone. He hadn’t been a good boyfriend at all, on the contrary, he had been a troublesome burden all this time. Always leaning unnecessarily on Baekhyun, always depending on him like a damn child who needed protection. Always putting his own feelings above everything else, even above the feelings of his own boyfriend, showing again and again his undeniable selfishness. And yet, Baekhyun had never complained about him or his almost extreme egocentricity. His cute puppy had always been by his side no matter what, cherishing and loving him with all his soul, offering more than he should have. Chanyeol's friends were right after all; he was very lucky to have found Baekhyun, a very lucky bastard.

That was something the actuary still wondered even after all these years though. How could he have been so damn lucky for having scored someone like Baekhyun? What was what his former boyfriend had seen in him? Chanyeol didn’t understand, and everything indicated that he would never get it. And he would never forget the circumstances that had led him to his baby boy either.

Their story began five years ago – both of them had nineteen back then – when the giant was really depressed about the loss of his first love. There was a time where he didn’t even leave his room because of his state, which made his parents worry more and more for their only son. They began to do everything in heir hands to try to help their child to overcome the deep sadness that the departure of his best friend had caused, but nothing seemed to work and Mrs. Park was getting desperate because of her beloved son. The woman felt helpless and useless, falling too into a state of depression upon seeing how Chanyeol sank into despair by each passing day. And that was enough for Chanyeol to decide do something about it, or at least pretend to do so to avoid prejudicing more his sweet and kind mother. Thus the giant began to leave his room more often, he started eating once again – only in the presence of his parents and with a lot of effort – and even convinced them that he had made new friends when in fact all he did when he was “at a friend's house” was walking aimlessly through the busy streets of his city all alone.

It was one of those times when he met Baekhyun for the first time ever.

The giant was resting – after a long walk – in one of the benches of a park he had never seen before; it was spacious, had games for young children and the atmosphere was pleasant and familiar. It was a good place to silence at least for a moment the annoying voices in his head, but what really made it ideal for him was the presence of a certain stranger. A beautiful boy with caramel-colored hair who had the brightest smile the taller had ever seen throughout his existence. That boy glowed like the sun, his smile was simply too breathtaking, and the fact that his eyes formed in an adorable crescent shape every time he smiled softened Chanyeol’s stiff and frozen heart in a way he never thought possible. Maybe it was the way the boy could make shine the whole place with his undoubted cheerful smile, but there was something about him that attracted the attention of the giant. His innocent appearance combined with his tender features made him look like an adorable puppy and for some reason that invaded Chanyeol’s being with tranquility. The presence of this boy was just plain nice and very soothing.

Since then the tall boy started going that park every day waiting to witness how the cheerful boy unfolded so freely, always with a small child as a company, who later would know him as his little nephew. Obviously not every day he had the pleasure of seeing the petite boy, but he did not care at all to waste time every day of the week because of the mere possibility of seeing him, not when his only moments of happiness were when he could hear that laugh full of joy and sincerity; a sound so soft and lovely that soothed his fears instantly.

All he did in those moments was observed and enjoy the expressions of that beautiful stranger. The giant could spend hours just watching the boy with caramel hair entertaining the little boy with enthusiasm and genuineness. And after a while of practically becoming his stalker – okay, not really – he memorized Baekhyun’s routine, figuring out at what time and which days he could see his new source of happiness. Before the giant could notice it they started exchanging curious glances, then small and shy smiles, until finally they exchanged greetings comfortably with a friendly and carefree wave at a distance, but they never exchanged words. Chanyeol had never expected to reach the point of being acknowledged by the other, so he was very pleased with what he had with the lovely stranger whose name was still unknown to him.

The tall boy was still struggling with his deep loneliness, but now had little moments in which he felt at peace, and obviously all those moments included the boy with caramel hair, and the giant was satisfied with just that, not expecting anything more really. So he never expected that said boy could approach him one day to talk with him. And even until this day, the taller never really knew what had motivated Baekhyun to approach him so suddenly, because yes, it was the puppy who took the initiative to enter into Chanyeol’s life.

From the first moment Baekhyun proved to be an extremely sweet and caring person, with a smile that could cheer you on immediately. He never looked down on Chanyeol for his depressive condition, on the contrary. Baekhyun gave him a hand and help him in everything he could. Always attentive to the needs of the giant and always willing to embrace Chanyeol between his warm arms when the latter felt alone and useless. And without explaining how or when the pup also started providing him of the most pure and innocent love. That love wasn’t unwelcome but left the giant puzzled at first, since who would want a broken person? Who would choose a person unable to pursue a decent life without his first love? It was pathetic, the tall guy felt pathetic and he believed that he didn’t deserve someone like Baekhyun; the latter was too good and pure for him. But love seemed to have no boundaries or limits, because in the end it was broken Chanyeol who Baekhyun wanted fervently and who was the giant to deny something to his newfound inspiration? If he could he would