REVIEW 001

SATURDAY MIDNIGHT  |  by GreenGardenPop

REVIEWED BY BULOUP

 

 TITLE: 4/5
 Though this title does seem to relate to the story's plot, it does not
 make much grammatical sense.

 I do find this title to be quite original, having not seen anything like
 this, and it definitely links to the plot.
 
 I do not suggest changing it completely, but maybe adding in a word or
 a comma or define the words.


 DESCRIPTION: 7/10
 Short and sweet, though not as eyecatching as it could be. You may want to think about describing the plot in greater detail to draw the readers in and grab their attention. The description does match the plot, however you could hint that something is not quite right with Jiyeon. You already described her as 'mysterious' but you could hint a little more without giving anything away to get readers interested.


PLOT: 25/30
I have seen a few similar plot lines in which meeting a person at midnight and falling in love with them is a key feature, but the plot twist you added really differentiated your story from the rest. I did not anticipate it which is never a bad thing! However, I cannot fully review the entirety of your plot as there is only one chapter available for me to read. But so far so good!

I really like that you focused on description but managed to build the storyline as the chapter progressed. It really fed the mind's eye!

The fact that you left the first chapter on a cliffhanger really makes me want to continue reading, but just remember that making people wait too long may lead them to lose interest.


CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: 17/20
You asked to focus on characterisation so I'm hoping this part really helps you in the future.

Though the reader does not get to know the characters that well in the first chapter, I know there is a lot of opportunities in future chapters to really allow the reader to grow close to the characters, especially Jongdae as the fanfic is mainly based on his experience with this girl and I'm assuming most things will be in his point of view.

The way you described Jongdae and Jiyeon's phyisical appearance really enabled the reader to have a vivid visual representation of the characters, which is always good. 

I also found it kind of amusing how Jongdae was certain that Jiyeon was crazy, but Jiyeon was adamant that it was fate and all that. That really helped the reader to see Jongdae as a rather level-headed person, if even a bit cynical.

One thing I would suggest to help give the readers a better understa