They had agreed to part two months ago. He was simply too busy, too busy to meet up, too busy too talk, even messaged, he would at least took one hour to just reply. He was too busy with his projects, it had forced him to sleep like four hours everyday, other than the time he need to commute and eat, the rest of the time he had spent of his projects.

He had received a voice message, she was crying and requested a break up, his heart broke, to him nothing had changed, he was too busy to have any change, but to her, she was waiting for him, she has her needs and then he couldn’t fulfil, he didn’t even know when he could do it. He agreed, she deserved better than a workaholic, he didn’t want to, he had loved her so much. The breakup only made him work even harder, but every night, when he was alone, he missed her. Even when they didn’t get to meet, she used to write him messages, which he would read before he slept. But now there was only an empty void.

The company did well and hired new personnel, his workload lessen now but she was no longer beside him. He wanted to rush to her side, the first time he got to knock off early, he even had reached her company’s lobby but he saw her left with a male he didn’t knew, smiling. He had hid behind a pillar, she had lost weight and her face lost its usual shine. He had cursed himself and hoped whoever would be a better person than he was, even though he was broken hearted. That didn’t stop him from going back the next day, this time she left alone, he saw her face sunken, her eyes were heavy. Did he do that to her? He wanted to hug her and make her all better, but he didn’t dare to make a move, he was the cause of it all.

After observing her for a week, he knew she didn’t find anyone new. He wanted her back in his life but he didn’t know whether she wanted the same. Maybe, just maybe he should start finding out. Then he would at least have a chance.

“Seong Im, Merry Christmas! Wish you have a joyous and peaceful Christmas this year. Jong Kook”, he had used Christmas as an excuse to start the conversation, his fingers crossed, hopefully she would reply this message, no matter how insignificant it was.

He didn’t knew the impact it had made in her heart, the message had caused rippled in the forced peace that she crafted in her heart. She wanted to reply but she didn’t know what to say, told  him she was not well, told him it was not a joyous and peaceful Christmas all because he had said yes to her request. She finally replied, “Same to you.”

The short sentence made Jong Kook sad, he knew her and this made him believed she was very unhappy, he wanted her to be happy again. So he forced the conversation to go on. He wanted her forgiveness, but that needed her to agree to meet him face to face.

“Seong Im, I saw snow in Seoul this year, did it snow back in Pohang too?” his next message said.

She looked at it, wondering what was he doing, causing another ripple in her heart. Her short message back was “Yes.” He smiled at her reply, at least she replied. He wrote “Pohang must be cold then, wear warmer”, she wrote “Ok”. He immediately found a online store that could make delivery on the next day and he ordered a shawl and sent to her. When she didn’t receive any messages the next day, she was disappointed. But when a shawl came instead, she found herself smiling for the first time in these two months, he had even found one that had his and her favourite colours on it.

“Did you receive the shawl, I hope it will keep you warm.” Came the message at night.

She decided to be mean, “I gave the shawl to my neighbor, I don’t like the design” although the shawl was now hanging comfortably on her neck.

He was a bit shock by the message, she gave the shawl away. This meant he needed to work harder. But he wrote “At least it not wasted, just remember to keep yourself warm.”

The next morning, he thought of something he knew she would like, he sent her and her family breakfast instead. He had it timed so carefully, he decided to wake her up first. “A warm breakfast for you would keep the cold away” and the door bell rang shortly after she saw the message. She smiled, and saw her portion of the breakfast, he haven’t forgotten her preference. Her parents and siblings stood around the kitchen, ooing over the breakfast. She didn’t want to explain so she just told them she had ordered for them. “Thanks but my mum had cooked.” was her reply, she didn’t know why she didn’t want to give him an easier time. “Its ok, additional food on the table” was his reply.

He didn’t feel dishearten, somehow from the way she replied the message, she seem to be opening up. She should be due back to Seoul soon, he wondered whether she would arrive via the evening train like she usually would. She would be hungry by the time she reached home, although she usually would eat something light in the station. He ordered JaJiangmien, her favourite with dumpling.  “Hungry? Here some delicious noodles from our favourite place” he sent the messages after he out down the food. He rang her doorbell and walked off. She saw a packet of take out on her door. She looked around and didn’t see him, she closed the door. “I am, thanks” came her simple reply. She had eaten it in contentment, so did he, in his car which he parked under her apartment.

The next morning, he picked up her favorite breakfast and left it on her door again. “Breakfast to start your day.” He wrote on the breakfast and he rang the bell before he ran off again. She thought it was prank before noticing an arrow pointing downwards on her keyhole. She opened the door and picked up her breakfast, she didn’t dare to smile so her expression was funny. Only when she closed the door, did she let out a large smile and started her breakfast. She went to work with a lighten heart, her colleagues noticed the change and asked her. She just replied “Nothing.” This went on for the next few days, their exchange grew longer. She had even giggled when he wrote something funny, she knew she had forgiven him for the agreement to break up.

It was new year eve, he felt the time was right. He could felt they were moving to where he wanted them too. He thought she would agree on a date with him, “That’s meet up for dinner? Haha place had something special.” She had hoped they would meet and was happy to receive his invitation. She took her time to reply, exactly half an hour later. “Ok, it will be dutch” she didn’t want to raise his expectation too high. He was delighted she had agreed to meet and he would agree on any terms she had stated, going dutch as so simple. “Of course,” he reply and she pouted. Did she think too much or maybe her simple minded Oppa had been too happy that she agree? She hoped it was the latter.

They met at the subway, she wore a simple black dress under her winter jacket. She had forgotten about the shawl and out of habit, put it on before meeting him. He saw the “given away” shawl on her neck, he smiled. He didn’t state the fact, he was happy she had kept it. The walk to haha place was a comfortable silent, as if both were happy with the meet up and wanted to immerse with each other company.

The menu came, his eyes met her, asking her what she wanted.

“Couple meal?” she stated, before blushing. She wanted to eat the food that was stated on the menu but to blunt out couple meal before he did, didn’t feel too right.

“Ok, couple meal please, and side plates too. Sparkling juice for both of us” Jong Kook finished his ordering. He turned to see her eyes, he couldn’t help but asked about her these two months. She answered but removed the details of her tears, her longing and sleepless nights. He also told her about his recent life, omitting the details of him missing her and nights he could only think of her. They enjoyed their dinner, he thought the time was now to ask her again.

He took her home after dinner, he wanted to ask her the questions at somewhere that offered more privacy. She invited him in, she just felt she needed too. He was in sweat, he didn’t knew it would be even more challenging to ask the same girl twice to be his girlfriend.

“Actually, I didn’t want us to break up,” he began. “But I could felt the loneliness you felt when I couldn’t give you time, my work was not the most important thing in my life, you are but I had made you so sad that I couldn’t say no to your question. I wanted to say no but I wanted you to be happy more. If leaving me would make you happier, I .. I .. would let go, even if I become the most miserable man on earth.” He stopped and sipped water she had offered him. Her eyes shone with expectation.

“But you didn’t become happier, I had made you lost weight, you lost your shine,” he touched her face gently, her tears flowed down immediately, she had missed his touch. “I didn’t know I was such a cruel man, I didn’t even ask or find out your true feelings before I had agreed. I was the one who make you suffered so much” he was glad at least she had gained back some of her shine since their correspondent. “Do you think you could forgive me and continue where we left of?”

She felt her heart elated but there was something she needed to say too. “I am sorry that I said to break up, I was just so mad that you didn’t take us seriously, or at least I thought you didn’t. I know you needed to work overtime, but I didn’t know whether you still love me. So I sent you that message, the message that broke us up, it broke me up too. I didn’t expect the answer, I thought you were came running, telling me you still love me. After that was the silent, you disappeared from my life. I lived two months as zombie, there was nothing else I could do. I forced myself to be calmed, but your messages sent multiples ripples back to my life, I felt I could live again.” She stopped, he passed her his glass of water and she sipped some. His eyes were filled with remorse, how could he had misunderstood her so much.

“I admit to be jealous of your work, you had put in more emphasis on it than me, but I forgotten it was not something you had wanted, I could had found ways to get pass it and go to you, forced you out of your cycle , or at least waited for you to make it better. The half a year, I didn’t see you make me lost hope. But now, I know I need to express myself better, obviously, you did love me more than your job” they smile, fully understood each other. He wet his lips with his tongue, then he moved closer to hers, she closed her eyes when his lips touched her. It was a gentle kiss but one full of promises.

“I love you Seong Im,I promised you no matter how busy I am, I would find time for you” Jong Kook vowed.

“I love you Jong Kook, I vowed that I have faith in you and if you got lost, I would find you instead.” Seong Im promised.