Chapter 6

He the tap and washed his hands that had dirt and dried blood on them. Leaving the water running, Donghae shrugged off his jacket. On the left shoulder of it was more blood and he was reminded of when he had placed Hyukjae’s head there. He threw it on the counter and braced himself, his hands pressed hard against the marble sink. With his head hung down, Donghae closed his eyes. He felt tears building behind them.

Donghae remembered himself rocking Hyukjae in his arms as his cries and pleas fell on deaf ears, waiting for help to arrive. But, he also remembered not seeing Hyukjae in his arms, that he was not outside near factories, but instead in a room. Only things that were the same were the blood and his feeling of lost. It was only when he heard the sirens that his sobs quiet down and his eyes turned dull once again. When Hyukjae was taken out of his embrace, Donghae only felt numb.

Donghae looked at himself in the mirror and saw the blood smeared on his neck. Slowly, he differentiated them, the two incidents. This time, there was less blood. This time, no one was around. This time, it was Hyukjae, his husband. This time, he did not lose anyone.

He rinsed the blood off himself.

Grabbing his jacket and feeling more composed, Donghae left the washroom and headed for the waiting area. It had been more than an hour since Hyukjae and himself were taken to the hospital and Donghae had contacted both his parents and in-laws. They were waiting for Donghae in the area, looking anxious. With his head bowed, he went to them. 

Hyukjae’s father, in his wheelchair, quickly rolled closer to him and grabbed Donghae’s hand, “Son, what happened? Where is he? Where is my son?”

Donghae hesitantly shook his head, not daring to stare into his father-in-law’s eyes. Just then, the doctor came. 

“Mr. Lee Hyukjae’s family?”

All of them nodded and Donghae let his hand be held by Hyukjae’s father as he turned to look at the doctor.

“Mr. Lee Hyukjae has been placed in a private ward, as requested by his husband. We have closed the wound on his head and it will heal without a scar. His prolonged exposure to carbon monoxide had led to hypoxia, which is why he lacks the right amount of oxygen and what caused him to be unconscious. We had placed him in a high pressure chamber with a high concentration of oxygen to counter it. As of now, his condition is stabilizing and no complications has occur but we will have to wait for him to wake up to know for sure. If all goes well, he can be discharged as soon as tomorrow’s evening,” the doctor, who seemed to be in his late forties, smiled encouragingly at them and Donghae heard the relief flooding each of the elder. 

“Can we see him now?” asked Hyukjae’s father.

The doctor nodded, “Yes, all of you are allowed to see him now but not for long and only one person can stay with him for the night. I’ll have a nurse brings you to him immediately.” The doctor gestured for a nurse behind him and requested she took them all to the ward. Donghae, on his own accord, helped pushed his father-in-law’s wheelchair.

They entered the spacious ward. At first, they all stood around the bed, looking over Hyukjae. Silently, Donghae was glad to see the red gone from his face. But, Hyukjae’s face was as white as the sheet, with a plaster covering the wound on his forehead and Donghae could see the pale lips behind his ventilator mask. The sight made Donghae gulped and he went to sit on the sofa placed against the far wall of the room. Donghae watched as his parents and in-laws stood closed to Hyukjae. They talked in hushed words, probably trying not to disturb the one unconscious on the bed. 

Hyukjae would be fine, Donghae told himself. The doctor looked positive and like he said, no complications whatsoever. As soon as his oxygen level had risen up, Hyukjae would have those colours back on him and looked healthy as ever. He would come home in a day or two and then he would be around the house, doing the things he usually do. Donghae was not sure if he anticipated the time Hyukjae would wake up or not as he and Hyukjae would not be on good terms still, after the misunderstanding they had.

Donghae felt something tingling in his stomach. He was not sure what bothered him more; the misunderstanding or how sorry he felt for Hyukjae. Then again, Donghae questioned why he should even feel bothered. It did not matter anyway…

“…Hae? Donghae?”

Donghae’s glazed eyes focused and he looked at those around the bed again. It was his mother that had called him. “Yes, mom?”

“We know you want to stay the night, right?

Donghae’s eyes blinked rapidly, hesitating for a second before he got a good look at all the expectant expressions, “Y-Yes. I… want to stay with him tonight.”

His mom nodded, an almost proud smile on her face, “We won’t argue on it. We will come back tomorrow,” she opened up her arms and Donghae immediately walked over and fell into her embrace, letting her caressed him, “You need to stay strong for him, okay? You must stay positive especially when he wakes up. He needs your love to give him strength, alright?”

Nodding, Donghae pulled back and smiled at his mother. His father placed his hands on Donghae’s shoulder, squeezing lightly before leading him to the comfortable armchair by the bed and let him sat there. Instinctively, Donghae lifted Hyukjae’s hand and interlaced it with his, gripping it gently. As he looked at Hyukjae, he felt a kiss on his head and a pat on his shoulder. His mother wished him goodnight before she left.

A heavy hand fell on Donghae’s shoulder, “Take care of him for me, son.” Donghae’s eyes fell to where his and Hyukjae’s hands were. He nodded, at first feeling unsure but then more confident. He heard the door shut very quietly.

The time passed as Donghae absentmindedly let his hand caressed Hyukjae’s, sometimes tracing the lines on his palms, other times running his fingers over Hyukjae’s knuckles. The hands were hoarse yet still soft, warm and comfortable to touch. The nails were neatly cut. He noticed there were a few scars on Hyukjae’s fingers, realizing that it must be from his training days – must have been hard to get use to the knife.

A nurse came in with dinner for Donghae and he knew it must have been his mother’s request. He ate the light dinner, immediately comparing the bland food to the one Hyukjae always prepared for him. Losing his appetite after the fifth spoon, he left the food alone and unconsciously went back to hold Hyukjae’s hand as his right hand reached to take his phone from his pants’ pocket. He searched randomly, reading the trending articles, yet, his hand still remained on Hyukjae’s.

Donghae closed his eyes for a moment, resting them after staring at the bright screen of his phone for a long time. He read the time and it was nearing midnight. He yawned, his eyes getting drowsier. Unknowingly tightening his grip on Hyukjae’s hand, Donghae rubbed his eyes, trying to ebb off the sleepiness at least a little bit more. 

“Oh, !” Donghae nearly jumped off his chair.

Staring right at him was Hyukjae. His eyes were opened but he was squinting.

Donghae placed a hand on his chest and took a deep breath, calming his own heart rate, “You…” he sighed, “Don’t do that to me again, if you can, unless you want me on the bed with you.” The pink that coloured Hyukjae’s cheeks was a huge contrast to his pale skin. Donghae stood up to press the call button, but then, he was restrained by a hand gripping his. He looked down and saw Hyukjae staring at him again with wider eyes. He waited with bated breath as Hyukjae pulled his mask off.

“Who…” Hyukjae coughed, his word sounded more like a croak, but he tried again, “Who are you?”

Donghae dropped down onto his chair again and he gaped. He blinked profusely, trying his hardest to comprehend the situation, “You… don’t know me?” Hyukjae shook his head. “Huh…” For a moment, Donghae was blank, not knowing what to do. Hyukjae was still staring at him, a mixture of wonder and scared on his face. 

“Is it permanent?”

The doctor sighed, looking troubled, “It rarely ever is, Mr. Lee Donghae. Retrograde amnesia can be cured in time, often from triggers. But, there is no fixed time nor is it guaranteed that all his memories will be recovered. Mr. Lee Hyukjae, as presumed, remembers his childhood, his name, his parents. But from my assessment just moments ago, he can’t remember most of the recent years. When asked about the year, he said it is the 2007. His latest memory is from eight years back. I’m sorry,” he hesitated, “but when I mentioned you, he said he doesn’t know you.”

Donghae threw his head back, unsure what to feel about the entire situation. The doctor had came to the room and ran a test while Donghae waited outside the room. He was told that amnesia was one of the complications that might occur as the oxygen deficiency could cause many disruptions to the brain. 

The doctor sat straighter and Donghae ignored the sympathetic look he was giving, “Aside from his memory loss, your husband’s condition has stabilize although he might be a little tired for a few days. Might I remind you that his behaviour might have change, depending on how he was eight years ago. My suggestion is to give it time and let him familiarize himself with what he things is a new surrounding. Let it be a slow build up for him to gain back his memories.”

Donghae nodded. His temples were pounding mercilessly and his muscles were tensed. His body was finally catching up with the day’s event and he felt the stressed. He nodded again when the doctor suggested that he took a rest himself and left the room. When he entered Hyukjae’s room, the other had already slept again. Donghae was grateful for that fact, knowing he could not handle having to explain who he was and why he was there. He rightened the comforter on Hyukjae before he lied on the sofa and falling asleep almost immediately. It was nearing 2am and  better to just leave everything for the next morning.

***

Hyukjae cracked an eye open and observed the surrounding. When everything was quiet and no shadows lurked around, he pulled off his ventilator mask and sat up. Immediately, he regretted his action when his head started pounding. He shook himself and rubbed his face before taking a look around once again. His eyes landed on the figure lying on the sofa. Hyukjae’s hand fumbled to turn on the desk lamp on his right side.

He remembered when the man – the very handsome man – came closed to him and fixed his comforter. He felt warm – internally – when the man did that. Hyukjae would have said thanks if it was not for that fact that he pretended to be asleep. 

Hyukjae was about to cower back into his lying position when the man moved suddenly and crossed his arms on his chest, almost hugging himself. Concluding that the man might be cold, Hyukjae slowly got off the bed, placing his hands on the bed to help him pushed himself off. He yawned before he grabbed the white comforter he had been using and walked to the sofa. Staying quiet and being gentle, he covered the man with it. 

Lee Donghae? He remembered the name the doctor had mentioned, referring to the man in front of him. He tested in his tongue and found it easily rolled off it. But, he really could not remember who the man was – and he felt extremely frustrated for not knowing why such a handsome was by his side. 

Lee Dong…hae moved again and Hyukjae ran back to his bed, put on his mask and tried his hardest to sleep.

A few hours later, when the horizon was visible, Hyukjae woke up when he heard the light sound of the door opening. A nurse came in with a clipboard. She stopped in her track for a moment when she was about to come closer to Hyukjae.

“Mr. Lee Hyukjae, where is your cover?” she asked, clearly puzzled. Hyukjae took his mask and grinned slightly, feeling sheepish as he pointed at where Donghae was. His grin began to falter as he watched the nurse cooed in a high voice and smiled wide at him. She kept her voice lowered, “That is so sweet, but Mr. Lee Hyukjae, you shouldn’t do it again as you need it more right now than your husband. I’ll get another one for you.” She put the mask back on Hyukjae and gently pushed him to lie down again. 

Just as she was about to leave, Hyukjae took the mask off again and sat up, “What did you say?”

“I’ll get another one for you. Another cover.”

Hyukjae shook his head. He was gaping. His eyes moved from his bed to the man lying on the sofa and then to the nurse and again to the man. He was getting restless, “No… Uh… No, before that. He is my… what?”

“Hus –” the nurse cut herself off and placed a hand on .

Hyukjae already got what she was meant to say, though, “Husband?” 

The nurse looked at him apologetically, “I’m sorry. I forgot about your ordeal. I’m…” she exited the room, leaving Hyukjae to his thoughts.

Hyukjae was frantic! He stared ahead, not seeing anything. He did not realize when another nurse came in and spread opened a comforter over his legs. His body stayed rigid. Then, a moment later, he jumped off the bed and began pacing.

“Husband… Husband? Him?” he stopped and looked at the sleeping man for a while before he continued to pace, “How… I’m 19!” he whispered harshly to himself, a habit he had from when he was younger but gone as he grew older. “How can I be married? How… But, he looks not so bad. He seems nice enough… No! But… No…” He sank onto his bed. A thought just came to his mind. 

L.D.H.

If Hyukjae was married, then…

Hyukjae felt his heart sunk down as he lied down again. His stomach was squirming with the thought. Grabbing the oxygen mask, Hyukjae put it on in the hope that it would aid him in sleeping. He did not want to think about it, not right now. 

Not… ever.

Not if he had to forget L.D.H. because he had a husband.

The next time he woke up, the mask had already been taken off from him. The room was bright as the Sun streamed in. He adjusted his eyes and then the sound came. He heard voices from his left and he strained his ear to hear better.

“… right away, asking where he was but he said he did not know and so I tried to find him using a GPS. I found him there, in his car and he was already… unconscious at that time. When I opened the car’s door, there was a gush of air. I dragged him out and away from the car. Then, I called and waited for the help.” 

“How did you know he needed help?”

“Well… he sounded… different. He sounded as if talking was hard.”

“But how exactly do you know that he needed immediate help? How do you know he need you to come get him, Mr. Lee Donghae?”

“Because he…I know, alright? I could feel there was something wrong. If you heard him, you would have made the same guess. I… was worried.”

“That still does not explain your action. You, straight away asking him where he was instead of something along the line of ‘are you sick’ is rather suspicious. Besides, you don’t look worried now.”

Hyukjae saw a hand coming down and anticipated the hard slam on the small table next to him, “Of course I worries, he is my husband! What are you trying to accuse me with? Attempting to kill my own husband?”

Out of instinct and not liking the shoutings, Hyukjae slowly creeped his hand around the man’s – his husband! – wrist. All attentions then turned to him. Lee Donghae – again, his husband! – stared at him and looked to be in surprised. Hyukjae quickly took back his hand from touching the man.

There was another two men in the room. They both had the police identification cards clipped to their jackets. They stepped closer to the bed.

Detective Kim Youngwoon, Hyukjae read his card, addressed him, “Mr. Lee Hyukjae. We are from the Violent Crimes Unit of Seoul Police Department. I’m Kim Youngwoon and this is Kim Heechul. Can we ask a few questions to help with the case?”

Hyukjae stared at them, “Violent Crimes Unit? But… Why?”

Detective Kim Heechul took off his black Ray-ban sunglasses and said, “Mr. Lee Hyukjae, you have been subjected to a crime and we are trying our best to capture the bastards who had attempted to murder you.”

Hyukjae could feel the colour draining from his face, “M – M – Murder? Someone tried to kill me?” Suddenly, a hand grabbed Hyukjae’s.

“Detectives, my husband is not fit to be questioned right now. He will not even remember the answers for your questions.”

“We have gotten our permission from his doctor.”

“We know that he has amnesia. But, we still have to follow the protocol,” said Detective Kim Youngwoon matter-of-factly. 

“It’s okay,” Hyukjae said quickly, “You may ask me.”

The questioning started and as expected, Hyukjae could not answer any of them as they were related to the event when he could not even remember occurring. He lost count of the amount of time he said he did not know and shook his head. 

The two detectives thanked him and Donghae, “We will be keeping our eyes on you to ensure your safety, Mr. Lee Hyukjae, as the criminal is still on the lose. We need to have our eyes on you. In no circumstances are you allowed to go anywhere by yourself. We hope to have the cooperations from the both of you in this matter as it is essential to keep you safe while we are investigating. Will you cooperate?”

Hyukjae would love to protest but currently, he did not want to, he did not have the strength go. So, he nodded.

The detectives left and the hand holding Hyukjae’s was gone too.

“Lee Donghae.”

“Huh?” Hyukjae looked up at the man standing next to his bed, “Oh… Lee Hyukjae,” he laughed, nervous, “You must have known that, right?” Hyukjae waited for the moment when Donghae would look at him, but the man never did.

“You can be discharged this evening, the doctor said.” A few seconds passed before Donghae moved away, heading for the door. Hyukjae wanted to ask where he was going but he refrained himself, choosing to zip his lips. But, just before Donghae stepped out, Hyukjae heard him say, “I’m going to go freshen up. I won’t be long.”

Hyukjae nodded despite knowing Donghae had already went out.

***

Their parents had arrived when Donghae came back to the room. Unwilling and not knowing the right way to explain to them the current situation he called for the doctor. He leaned against the wall where a window was situated. He did not bother listening, but he stole a few glances at Hyukjae. Once, when the doctor mentioned that Hyukjae did not remember Donghae, their eyes met for a brief second before they both averted their gazes. 

Hyukjae was to go home with his parents, as the doctor suggested. It was the place he would be most familiar with so it was the perfect idea. Donghae did not protest, not sure if he wanted to, anyway. He would be free for a while in the house, there would be no need to wonder at which part of the house Hyukjae would be, no need to face his husband, no cold treatments. He believed he would be fine by himself in the house.

That evening, Donghae helped Hyukjae got to his mother-in-law’s car, staying by the other’s side and opening the car’s door. After helping his father-in-law got into the car as well, Donghae was about to step aside and wait until they left. But, a hand touched his forearm and he turned to see his mother-in-law. 

“Donghae, it might be hard to stay away after being so close. So, if you want or need to, you can come to the house and stay with us. Hyukjae has always been a fast learner. I know my son. He will learn of you as his husband and he will definitely accept it. So, accept the offer if you can, alright?” Hyukjae’s mother caressed his cheek and smiled at him, she seemed almost sorry.

Donghae covered her hand with his and nodded, “Yes, mother. I will think about it.”

She entered the car and still smiled at Donghae as the driver drove away. Donghae stayed and watched where the car was seconds ago, thinking about his mother-in-law’s words. He snorted, not once imagining that he would take the invitation.

It was nearing 9pm when Donghae arrived home. He went straight for a shower as he felt sticky after one whole day of not changing his clothes. When he had put on something comfortable, he went down, feeling hungry. As he grabbed the refrigerator’s handle, he wondered if there would be his dinner from last night. Hyukjae was mad at him, the Hyukjae that remembered him, anyway. 

Sighing, he pulled the handle and was genuinely surprised to see there was a dish made for him. Something started aching inside him. Hyukjae made dinner for him even while Donghae had clearly upset him. As he placed the plate inside the oven to re-heat, Donghae leaned against the island. 

If he was right, that night he came home drunk was a week ago. Every day since, there was not a time where no food was prepared for him. There was no night where he was left hungry or forced to find his own dinner. Hyukjae’s cook had tasted the same the entire while. His husband had neither begrudgingly poison his food nor leave him with no food. 

The oven beeped and Donghae ate his dinner. Suddenly, the fact that he was alone at the table bothered him. He ate, his hand shoving food into his mouth, his hunger dissipated, but the loneliness did not ebb away. He cleared the plate before he went up to the room, thinking of just sleeping.

He lied down, closed his eyes, though, sleep did not come. No matter how hard he tried, how he twisted and the bed, he could not ignore the feelings inside him. 

He sat at the edge of the bed, leaning on one hand. 

Donghae was used to going to bed alone even after his marriage. Hyukjae would not be there next to him before he went to sleep. Hyukjae came home late every night except Tuesday. He would only be next to Donghae when he woke up in he morning. But, it felt different this night. Somehow, knowing that Hyukjae would not be coming made it all different. Hyukjae would not be coming home tonight. He would not be lying next to Donghae when he would wake up. There was no anticipation for Hyukjae to be there because Donghae knew his husband would not be coming.

His conscious knew this. 

His conscious could not accept this.

His hand felt the emptiness of the bed, where Hyukjae always lie. 

Donghae stood up, grabbed a bag and packed a few things before he left the house. He did not know what else he could do, so, he took the one option he had.

Donghae knocked on the door, biting his lip. When the door was opened, he was greeted by a smile from his mother-in-law. Donghae bowed, “I’m sorry for bothering you when it is almost midnight.”

Hyukjae’s mother shook her head, still had the knowing-smile on her face, “It’s okay, Donghae. I understand.”

Donghae held out the bag he brought, “This is Hyukjae’s clothes. I… thought he might need them.” He placed the bag next to the door, “I’ll… go now.”

“Donghae?”

“Yes?”

“Come in. I’ll show you the room,” his mother-in-law placed a hand on his shoulder and gently guided him inside before closing the door. She was still smiling as she led Donghae up to the second floor and then they stopped in front of a door near the end of the corridor. She turned Donghae so that he faced her as she said, “I understand. Hyukjae is sleeping right now. Just go in and sleep too, alright? You are prepared for bed, anyway. I understand, okay?” She caressed Donghae’s hair for a second before she stepped away and entered the door next to the room.

Donghae took a deep breath and entered. He did not look anywhere else when he spotted the bed. Slowly, he lied down on the empty side. Only then did sleep came. 

First and foremost, about the caused of amnesia, I did a month of research just for this, yet, it is a very limited research. The facts might differ and I could be wrong. I apologize if I do. Secondly, did you expect this? Hehehe surprised! if you did not, and I think no one did, right? I love plot twist, don’t you? Now, I don’t think tissues are needed for this chapter. But, I’m still giving out cookies. Please take them down below in the comment box, hehehe. I am sorry for another sightly late update. My headaches are not going away.

P.s. How long do you wish this story could be?
P.p.s. I really want to know your thoughts on Donghae again. I know I keep asking about him. Just, his character is more diverse than Hyukjae and I would love to know your thought on him as the story progressed.
P.p.s. Shoutout to 041586 because I lied and said I would only update after a month /winks/