Chapter 6: Valentines

I wake up to Valentine’s Day, an invitation from Jen to go out together since her boyfriend has work, and Namjoon bothering me to video call him.

I shift uncomfortably on the couch, wincing as my laptop begins to burn my bare thighs. I reposition it onto a pillow before placing it back on my lap. Namjoon continues to talk about the new song he’s working on and how much he hates the new choreography.

“How are we even supposed to remember all these dances?” he grumbles. He sighs in exasperation to punctuate the end of his rant. “So have you been busy?” he asks as I lean back into my seat.

I shrug limply, “Sort of.” My loose, dirty hoodie say otherwise.

He sighs and shakes his head, the image lagging a little. “You haven’t changed at all—” he lifts a brow as I snort in amusement, “—Hoseok’s been looking anxious lately, you haven’t been ignoring him have you?”

When I roll my eyes he knows it’s true. I throw my head back onto the couch, already too emotionally drained for one of his deep lectures. I close my eyes. “He’s with someone else,” I explain reluctantly, “I should give him some space,” I grumble, my head still hung back.

There’s a silence and when I finally fling my head back forward, I see Namjoon’s waiting for me to elaborate. I look down at the keyboard and begin chewing on my lip. “He’s got plans with someone today for Valentines,” I mutter under my breath, any louder and I fear reality may confirm it. I stare at Namjoon’s image. He looks lost, or just lagging.

“I never heard he had plans but—” he stops as realisation floods his expression. His smile grows and he begins to laugh in amusement.

I sit up. “What? What is it??”

He shakes his head, still smiling from ear to ear. “I can’t tell you!” he grins.

I scowl. ‘Why’s he so happy?’ I sit up and look dead straight into the camera. “You made me video call you just to do this?”

Namjoon finds this even more amusing. “Cheer up, Ahri!” he chants, “You’re just dense.”

I laugh sarcastically along with him. “Thanks, that makes me feel better.”

I jolt slightly as my phone chimes with a new message, Namjoon assumes it is Hoseok. “Don’t run away this time.” He pauses for a moment, seriousness settling into his features. Here comes the lecture. “Remember Ahri, you’ve lost him once already. You could even say you lost him almost twice. I don’t want to see the both of you hurting again when you both obviously have mutual feelings—” I try to interrupt to remind him of someone but he cuts me off, “—Stop hiding how you feel from him.” Then he dramatically turns off with a peace sign to his forehead.

I stare at my laptop. I’m stunned by the weight of all the truth he had just spoken. I curse under my breath, why’s he always right?

Ever since the accident and the break up I’ve been so hesitant to truly open up to Hoseok again. He undeniably has kept some of my heart and soul with him but the pieces I took back, and the pieces I hadn’t yet gave him, I’m too scared to offer. What if I lose him again? I wouldn’t be able to go through it all over again. I feel apologetic for always getting other people included in my problems because I can never face the source alone, always preferring to hide away accumulating gloom and pity. Namjoon was so correct that I feel left hollow and empty of the truth that’s been taken from me, a truth I kept locked away and ignored. Maybe I had left it in a glass container, clear enough for everyone to see. I am ashamed.

After numbing over the thought I check my phone, I’m slightly disappointed to see it’s just Jen asking if I were ready yet. I check the time and realise Namjoon had blabbered on for longer than I had expected. I message her an apology and tell her I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Fortunately the dessert café she chose isn’t too far and that I had already showered. I apologise guiltily in my head to Hoseok and Namjoon, I’ll have to face Hoseok later.

The dessert café was delicious. The layers of cream, icing, mousse, cake and biscuit had me momentarily forgetting the heavy thoughts in my head. I return home with a slightly happier mind and stomach. I’m climbing the last few steps, rummaging through my handbag to ready my keys when I almost fall back at the sight of a mysterious man by my door.

“C-can I help you?” I stammer.

He turns around and I don’t know him but he smiles politely. My eyes are then taken away by the bouquet of blushing pink flowers in his hands and the overflowing basket by his feet, at their size they were hard to ignore. “Hi, do you live here?” the man asks.

I nod my head sceptically. ‘My celebrity career ended ages ago, there’s no way he’s a fan, right?’ “Do you need something?”

His smile grows. “I’m here to give you this delivery!” It’s now that I realise the logo on his polo depicting a rather famous gift store in the city.

I blink. “I didn’t order anything?”

The delivery man laughs, handing me the flowers anyway. I look at him in utter confusion as he instructs me to sign something. “I didn’t order these,” I repeat after signing in a fluster. My heart beat drums in anxiety, unsure of how to persuade him that these aren’t mine.

“There’s a card with the gift basket,” he points out before taking his leave, “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

I watch him descend down the steps with more shock and confusion than I had at the start. Hastily I crouch down to read the card attached to the cellophane wrapping the gift basket. My rush to correct the delivery man and give back the items comes to an immediate halt when I read the note. It reads, in printed handwriting:

" To 'Someone,'

Ahri, Happy Valentine's Day! ♥

I'm sorry I can't be there with you. "

'Jung Hoseok' is scrawled in the bottom right hand corner.

Author's Note: Surprise! I'm not dead!