Chapter 1: Soon

I stare out of the window, the driver that was trying to take my spot at some point disappeared. Everything rings silent. My vision blurs and everything becomes unclear despite the heater having already whispered away the fog on the windshield. I let out a ragged breath, still steadier than my shaking hands. My phone is still slapped against my ear despite an ended conversation.

“What?” I mutter as I gawk at the steering wheel. Unconsciously, my fingers jerk around the phone. I bring it down, nothing still connecting amidst what I’ve just been told. Two years. It’s been over two years.

I drive home but my mind is everywhere but the road. I swear it must be a misunderstanding or my mind playing tricks on me yet why was the voice so clearly his. Am I delusional? Why was his voice still so familiar after so long, yet his name had felt so foreign on my lips?

“It can’t be—??” I choke as I make a turn. I’m not sure how I am supposed to react if I were to believe it. It’s been over two years since the accident so why only now and how? He had left me with too little information yet I’m holding onto it so tightly that it is already showing to be too much.

I almost drive past my flat. I hiss under my breath as I’m forced to drive back around.

I experience adrenalin of confusion and urgency as I hop out the car and dash inside. I swiftly rush to my desk and open my laptop, not bothered to sit down as I open a browser and search up ‘memory loss.’

I don’t know why I hadn’t researched it at the time or sooner. Maybe I was scared, in denial or just too caught up in my own shock and emotions of suddenly becoming a stranger to someone I was in love or so infatuated with, I’m not really sure which out of the two.

“Memory loss, also referred to as amnesia, is an abnormal degree of forgetfulness and/or inability to recall past events. Depending on the cause, memory loss may have either a sudden or gradual onset, and memory loss may be permanent or temporary.”

‘Temporary.’ I had never noticed that I had given up on that word. I thought it must have been permanent—that I had lost him permanently.

My screen is lined with online diagnoses, cures, causes to dementia, Alzheimer’s and so forth. I search up ‘memory loss head impact’ which leads to ‘TBI’ or ‘traumatic brain injury,’ which I somehow recall the doctor on that day mentioning. I read everything like a phobic madman diagnosing themselves.

To recover there’s medication, therapy and surgery—did he not take any of those or did he and just not tell me? I suddenly feel bad having known so little and possibly just causing him unneeded stress. There’s also mild, moderate and severe TBI.

‘Over two years of memory loss must be at least moderate—wait.’ My mouth gapes slightly as my brows furrow, ‘how do I know he didn’t remembered earlier but only told me now? I am just an ex-girlfriend.’ I have so many questions.

I hastily rush to the phone, fumbling with the phone book until I find the number I need. I punch in the numbers, messing up the first and second time.

“Hello?” I blurt before they even bring the phone to their ear.

“Ahri?!” Namjoon replies with a pleasant shock, slightly out of breath for some reason. I can hear footfall so I assume he’s running. The frantic in my voice then sinks in and I hear his footsteps stop as he asks what could be the matter.

“Wh—” I start equally as puffed out, I rephrase. “Are you with Hoseok?”

He hesitates to answer. No one has talked about Hoseok to me without apologizing and changing the subject as soon as they can, not to mention I was never the one to bring him up.

“I don’t know,” Namjoon finally replies, “He hasn’t talked to any of us all day. He left straight after breakfast without a word,” he pauses and asks carefully, “Ahri, what’s going on?”

I hold my breath, thoughts and questions whizzing in my head. “Since when did he recover his memories?”

Silence.

“His what??”

I clutch the phone closer to my ear as my fingers begin to weaken. My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water until I find the words. “He hasn’t told you?”

“He—” I can imagine Namjoon’s eyes widen as he takes a few steps to lean on a wall. He begins to laugh hysterically. “That bastard,” he sighs in disbelief. After letting it sink in a moment for both of us, he lets out a heavy sigh. “What did he tell you?”

I purse my lips. I stumble back slightly, collapsing into a dining room chair. I clutch the wooden seat. “He said—”

***

“Hello?” I greet sceptically.

“Hello?” an oddly familiar voice repeats.

I feel my heartbeat come to an immediate halt. I grip tighter around my phone and bring it to my other ear to make sure I had heard right.

“Ahri?” says the muffled voice.

The way my stomach flips and chest tightens I know it’s him. “Hoseok?” I murmur in disbelief.

“Ahri, I remember.”

My breath hitches. “Remember?” I repeat in dumbfound.

He laughs so softly I almost miss it. “Yeah.”

My mouth gapes open. Everything around me falls silent like the world has stopped to listen in on our phone conversation. “And?” I ask hesitantly, unsure what to really ask.

“Have you—” he pauses, his voice breaking. He discards what he was about to initially ask.  “How are you?” Hoseok asks politely—like a stranger.

“Good.”

“Good?”

I take a breath, it hurts my lungs, claws my chest until settling heavily in my stomach. My insides churn, heart beat loud by my ears until it all becomes white noise. A high pitch ringing sings in my head before numbing my senses and allowing me to blurt out what I haven’t dared admit the past two years.

“I’ve missed you,” I choke thoughtlessly. I begin immediately regretting blurting it out when Hoseok doesn’t reply straight after, but my surroundings disappear into meaninglessness, our distance closes in on our ears and I feel myself melt over his voice when he finally does.

“I’ve missed you too,” he sighs bitter sweetly. There’s a short pause before he dismisses himself. There’s rummaging and scurrying on the other end of the line. “Sorry, I have to go. I’ll see you soon,” he says hurriedly.

“See you—,” he drops the call, “—soon.”

A/N: due to kind-of-popular-demand-but-not-really here is the sequel to 'Hold Me Tight.' I hope to not disappoint. If you want to read where I read the TBI stuff (which I should have done earlier for HMT) click.

On another note, I would like to advertise *cough*myself*cough*

These are $4.00 AUD per set of 7 + shipping.

Click on the image and you should be directed to my Facebook page.

I'd really love it if you could support with my art just as much as my writing (or maybe more so)

I should be able to send these off once I manage my PayPal. I also do commissions.

I'm sorry I'm poor and have to shamelessly advertise myself here and there.