Chapter 5: Plans

The next few weeks were filled with unending conversations on the phone. The device never seems to leave my side as I hold onto it like a life line. Despite being ahead time-wise, Hoseok still manages to message a ‘good morning’ before I wake up and often stays up late to wish me a ‘good night’ before I turn off the lights.

Despite all this, nothing has been made official and we wander warily between the boundaries of friends and past lovers becoming lovers once again. With Valentines Day coming up I find myself more uneasy about our relationship status as well as slightly envious of other people’s plans.

“Jo, do you have plans with your boyfriend?” Jen asks as Jo perks up at the sound of her phone, giving me an apologetic nod before checking it.

I stand by my easel, charcoal smearing the paper stuck upon it as she swiftly replies to the message. She sits on one of the wooden stools, dried paint splattered across its chipping wood, wearing a white off-shoulder blouse and a pair of light wash jeans. The sun strides across the room, her mousey brown hair in its hearty glow, something I just can’t manage to capture with only black charcoal.

Jo lifts her eyes from the device, nodding happily. “Jackson wants to keep the plans a secret but he’ll probably blurt it out at some point,” she laughs as I search for some conté.

My hands scurry through a red tool box filled with dry materials, my hands becoming a dusty mixture of different shades of brown and black.

“Lucky,” Jen huffs, “Mark has work,” she explains as she waves a hand from the sofa. She lifts a brow as my phone begins to ring in my pocket, a smile growing on her face. “What’s this? I thought we were your only friends?” She says as she gets up from her seat.

I pull on a smile and gesture at Jo to take a break. She happily complies and hops off the stool to restrain Jen from nosily listening to my conversation on the phone.

I pat my murky hands on my jeans which are already covered in dragged hand prints before plucking out my phone from my back pocket. A smile instantly blushes on my face as I see the caller ID.

“Hello?” I try to answer nonchalantly though it still comes out sing-song. My friends’ smiles become grins as they lend an ear to listen in.

“Hey,” Hoseok replies coolly.

I purse my lips as I try to refrain from smiling and point to the door with a sarcastic expression of sorry to the other two in the room. I hurry out of the shed and into the backyard of my parents’ house.

“What is it?” I say a little out of breath. I take a few steps away from the shed as I hear footsteps and snickering approach it from the other side.

“Do you have people over?” Hoseok asks regretting his bad timing slightly.

“It’s just Jen and Jo,” I reply indifferently as I lightly kick the shed’s door, the clang is followed by squirming squeaks of surprise.

“Do you have plans on Sunday?”

“February the 14^th?” Pacing the yard, I hum as if I’m flicking through my schedule in my head even though I know very well I’d probably just be watching movies at home. “Nope,” I finally reply “do you?” I ask mischievously.

“Yeah, I do.”

My feet stop. My eyes widen as my heart drops. “I-is that so?” I stammer. ‘What should I expect? We’re not dating or anything. He has every right to go see other people.’ “Is it work?” I add, hoping it really is but the bliss in his voice had already told me otherwise.

“No,” he laughs, “someone.”

“Oh,” I breathe absentmindedly, “I see.”  The weight in my chest grows heavier with each passing moment and the wind that grazes the grass begins to nip harsher at my bare skin.

“Is that all you have to say?” Hoseok jeers teasingly.

“I’m happy for you!” I attempt to chant though my voice breaks half way through and I barely manage to choke the rest of the sentence. “Really I am!” I add to his suspicious silence.

“Alright.”

I blink. His voice sounds oddly low, shallow, and a bit empty. “Is there anything else you want to say? because I—” I swallow as my stomach threatens to rise up my throat, “I should head back inside.”

Hoseok hums. “No that’s all.”

“Alright,” I murmur uncertainly.

“Alright.”

“Bye.”

The call ends.

I grit my teeth, my head hanging down as my grip on my device tightens. I take a deep breath in and when I breathe it back out it’s uneven and shaky. ‘At least I know where I stand,’ I persuade myself. After a moment I lift my head, my breath once again steady with the hurt locked away behind my clenched jaw. I slip the phone back into my back pocket and secure my composure before approaching the door of the studio shed. I hear scurrying as I pull it aside. Jen and Jo sit on the couch and stool respectively, fixing their hair or hastily pretending to check their nails.

Looking up from her nails Jen whistles an ‘oh’ in faux surprise at my arrival, to which I can only manage a small smile at. “Right,” she says as she dusts her jeans, “We forgot to ask Ahri if she has any plans for Valentines,” she says as she exchanges glances with Jo who flashes me a smile.

I sigh and wander back to the easel, their eyes watching me expectantly.

“Do you?” Jo presses hesitantly as I stare blankly at the paper. I feel suddenly disgusted by the drawing.

“No,” I mutter grimly, “Apparently not.” I put away the brown conté and switch to compressed charcoal, the black instantly blotting my fingertips and the creamy paper.

The two exchange looks and Jen is quick to change the subject. Dates and Valentines are avoided in conversation and the drawing becomes much darker than initially intended. 

Author's Note: Sorry this took a while. If you didn't already know I was overseas for 2 weeks for personal reasons. If you also read 'La Douleur Exquise,' I'm sorry that one's taking a while for me to update because I'm stuck ;;;