For the next couple of weeks life is pretty peaceful. Baekhyun lets his worries drown in Chanyeol's kisses, Jongin's hugs, Luhan's sassy comebacks and Kyungsoo's home-cooked meals. It's so easy to forget about the secret, so easy to push it to the very back of his mind and cover with more pleasant thoughts when he's with them. It's the little things that push him into the serene floating state he loves so much; Junmyeon's fatherly gaze, Minseok's soft fingers ruffling his hair, Sehun's head on his lap when he's texting Luhan while they're sitting in Baekhyun's room. He appreciates them. Even if he can't fall asleep at night if Chanyeol isn't there with his warm embrace to chase all the bad things away, Baekhyun takes in every moment he gets to spend with his friends. He gathers his courage from those seconds, minutes, hours, courage to face them someday; because no matter how easy it is to just let it go for some time, Baekhyun knows himself. He knows that he can't keep things from the ones he cares about. He braces himself in the meantime.

The only time when he forgets about the secret is when he reads.

Baekhyun can't say exactly why he loves books so much. Maybe it's the words; beautiful adjectives, complex sentences that take him into a completely different world of maze-like plots and layers of truths. It can be the way he lives through uncountable lives, adventures and the way his heart pounds as he brushes death with his fingers without moving from the comfort of his dorm. Or maybe its about colorful characters, different personalities he can see and understand; spending hours in someone else's head and being able to experience reality through their eyes. He feeds on their dreams and cries for their failures. It's heartbreaking and exciting, tiring and refreshing, sad and joyful. 

He wiggles a little on the leather armchair of the dorm's library, but the pleasant squeak of the furniture doesn't even reach his ears. He wiggles again.

"Baek, please."

He shifts again, just to punish Chanyeol for breaking his focus.

They're spending the afternoon basking in the early-summer sun pushing it's warm embrace through the grand windows behind them. The warmth seeks through the long sleeves of Chanyeol's hoodie he's wearing, his black skinnies and exposed socked feet (he gave up on his shoes, grey snickers left abandonned on the floor next to the armchair). The black ink of words seems to shine against yellowish pages of book lying on his folded legs, dust flying in the air evey time he flips the page to find yet another poem and yet another story of longing, sadness and love. Chanyeol is right next to him, caught up in his drawings once again, interrupted only by the soft whines of Baekhun's armchair. 

"Baby, can you?" Baekhyun smiles and turns his head to send a palyful glance in his boyfriend's direction. Chanyeol in not amused. "I'll draw your full body on a A1 paper and hang it in your classroom for eveyone to see if you don't stop."

Baekhyun weights his options. Does Chanyeol know his body well enough? He probably does. Would he be able to actually expose him like that? Naah.

"I'm only yours, though. Why would you share me with anyone?" he pouts, closing the book and shifting his position to kneel on the soft cusion, facing Chanyeol. 

The taller sits straight, one long leg thrown over the other. His right elbow is leaning on the armrest, the hand supporting his head and he turns to his left, slowly, to look at Baekhyun with a lazy smile.

"Why so cheesy?" He closes his sketchbook as the questions leaves his lips. 

Baekhyun can't help but take a second to admire the other. The sunrays play on Chanyeol's face, bringing up the twinkle in his eyes, the small bump on the bridge of his nose and the dip of the dimple on his left cheek. The shadows of his eyelashes flutter on his cheekbones and Baekhyun wants to kiss them. His hair is messy and his fringe is down, reaching just below his eyebrows.

Baekhyun blinks.

I love you

"I learnt from the master." he manages to squeeze out of his throat, shaking away the fluffy feeling.

Chanyeol chuckles lowly and Baekhyun leaves the book he's been holding on the seat of this armchair without a second thought. He crawls over both his and Chanyeol's armrests and the taller opens his arms, already knowing what's coming. Baekhyun twists his body as he's kneeling above the other and unceremoniously flops onto Chanyeol's thighs, wiggling a little right after to get comfortable. The non-affectionate Baekhyun would roll his eyes. The current Baekhyun only smiles when Chanyeol pecks his cheek, circling his arms around the smaller body. Baekhyun leans his temple against Chanyeol's shoulder, taking in the additional warmth, and wiggles his toes in his black socks. He doesn't know what to say, but talking has never been a must with Chanyeol; they find comfort in the silence surrounding them and for a second, just for a second, Baekhyun forgets about the whole wolf thing. It's just the two of them, sitting in a library, two normal students being together. Chanyeol's thumb caresses his hipbone, fingers sneaking under the hoodie to touch the skin. It's so easy to forget, he marvels.

"Should we trade secrets?" he whispers, afraid to break the serene ambience.

Chanyeol looks at him with a grimace on his lips. "You still keep secrets from me?" the taller murmurs, clearly unhappy.

"Only two." Baekhyun responds honestly, shifting to sit straight on Chanyeol's lap. "So? I'll start." he searches for approval in Chanyeol's dark eyes before smiling again. "I've never shared this with anyone, you're the first ever." he confesses, bringing his boyfriend's curious glance onto himself. Baekhyun looks away, trying to find the right words and muster some courage. "It happened in the middle of October, right before we met." When we met for the first time, Baehyun thinks bittely. "You know that I like to wander around the woods to read when it's warm enough and that's what I was doing. I had some snacks and water packed, just to be safe. I was going to stay there till sundown." Chanyeol tenses under him and Baekhyun presses closer to stay brave. "It's really crazy, but believe me when I tell you this. I heard whining, as if a hurt animal was somewhere near. The sound was so heartbreaking, Chanyeol, you have no idea, I could actually hear the pain in it's voice." The sound is still just as miserable in his ears, as if he's heard it seconds, not months, ago. "So I did the stupidest thing ever and followed it." Chanyeol's fingers stop under the hoodie and Baekhyun's heart beats faster and faster with every passing moment. He forces a deep breath. "I found a wolf. It was the most beautiful creature I've even seen. It's fur was amber, gold and caramelish at once and it's eyes..." he cuts himself off when Chanyeol locks their gazes. The taller's irises are even darker, whenever it's with anger or fear Baekhyun doesn't know. "were brown, seemingly dangerous but only peaceful in reality." He feels a lump forming in his throat and breakes the eye contact to look at his toes again. "That's my secret."

Chanyeol's fingers start moving again, slowly drawing circles on Baekhyun's skin. "What happened next?" he asks, voice deeper than usual. It's Baekhyun's turn to tense up.

"I'll tell you if your secret is good enough."

Chanyeol hums under his breath and focuses on the ceiling, thinking. Baekhyun's pulse has yet to slow down, anticipation getting the best of him. He nearly jumps when Chanyeol finally speaks up.

"The first time we met was that day in the woods when you found the wolf." he muses, finally relaxing on the furniture again.

Baekhyun waits.

And waits.

And waits.

"That's it?" the disbelieve is obvious in his voice. "That's all you're going to tell me?" He supposes he looks awfully funny, eyes wide open and mouth nearly gaping.

Chanyeol smirks. "We decided to trade only one secret, remember?"

Unbelievable.

He's so close, so, so close, he can nealy touch the subject that has been hunting him for months.

"Park Chanyeol!" he cries, staring at the taller with astonishment.

Chanyeol laughs at his distress and pecks his mouth lovingly, palm sliding over the skin of his stomach. "Some other time, hm?"

Baekhyun huffs, annoyed and displeased, and gets off Chanyeol angrily. He climbes onto his own armchair and grabs the book he's been reading, opening it at a random page to make a statement. The low rumble of Chanyeol's laugh chases after him so he flips his boyfriend a bird and turns his back at him for a good measure.

Un-ing-believable.

It's three days later when he wakes up with 'the feeling' again. He opens his eyes fifteen minutes before his alarm goes off; the room is still, the only sound being his stable breathing. The air is cold, Baekhyun hasn't used his heater much at night since Chanyeol is nearly always with him. He's not today. 

Baekhyun sits up slowly, the blanket sliding down his -covered chest and landing silently on his lap. He takes a deep breath, taking in the scent of old wood and his laundry detergent mixing together into the aroma he's used to. Looking around the room cautiously, he searches for the something that is off, but eveything seems fine, normal.

Baekhyun doesn't trust 'normal' anymore.

He fishes his phone fom under the pillow and calls Chanyeol before even thinking about it. His fingers are numb and he feels his stomach gradually shrinking, making him nauseous. The unsettling feeling is not as strong as the last time, but it's there either way. Baekhyun hopes he's not getting paranoid.

The first six seconds, Baekhyun stays as calm as possible. Another six after that he's becoming anxious. Three more and he jumps out of his bed, looking for his pants, phone still pressed to his ear.

"Yeah?"

Baekhyun stops right at his tracks as Chanyeol finally, finally anwers his phone.

"What's going on?" he demands immediately, not caring how insane it sounds.

Chanyeol sighs tiredly into the receiver and , he knew, he just ing knew. "Nothing bad is happening, Baek, I promise."

Baekhyun nearly loses it right there.

"Chanyeol can you please, just for a second, stop bullting me and just tell me what the is wrong, because I'm this close to actually flipping and I have no idea why."

He's met with a long silence on the other end and takes this moment to grab his pants from his desk chair. Manouvering the phone between his shoulder and head, he puts on his skinnies before diving into his drawer for some socks.

"It's Jongdae, but he's fine, I swear. He won't be able to attend classes for a few days, but he's okay." comes a reply, hesiatant as ever.

Baekhyun doesn't need time to make a decision. "I'm coming over. I need to see him."

"Baby-"