A/N: Welcome to part two of my 2nd anniversary gift (and if you haven't read part 1, hop on over to If Not Right Now for something...steamy)! As I said there, it's been two years for me on Asianfanfics following my first story A Man's Jealousy, and to celebrate, Old Wounds is getting an extra chapter. This time, I decided to go from Jinyoung's perspective since during the course of this story, many people were curious about his take on the situation and thoughts. Since he plays such a pivotal role in Mark's transformation, I really enjoyed exploring the relationship from Jinyoung's side. I hope you also enjoy the continuation of this story, which has always been near and dear to my heart.  It's thanks to you that I've been writing for two years, so I can never say this too often. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

For those of you who like to follow along with the classical music included in the story, here are our main pieces from this chapter:

Pavane Pour une infante défunte

Liebesträum

Chopin's Ballades 1-4

Aveu Passionné (piano)

9. Bonus Chapter: Pavane

 Jinyoung fiddled with the controls on their second hand toaster, trying to find the barely-existent setting that would end him up with a plate of flawlessly crispy toast. If you turned the dial just a little bit too far to the left, the bread would remain squishy and barely toasted at all. If you turned it even a hair's width to the right, it would turn black and inedible before you knew what was happening.

But putting up with crappy appliances had been their choice from the beginning. It was either get a small apartment with nice furnishings or a big apartment with whatever furniture and home goods they could pick up used from flea markets. Since neither of them could imagine splitting Mark up with his grand piano, they'd opted for the bigger apartment with some financial support from Mark's family. It was now the end of their first year living there, and though Jinyoung had developed a severe hate relationship with the finicky toaster and the rattan couch with puke green cushions they'd practically received free of charge from Jackson, he was overall content with the place. He hadn't known what Mark would think of the idea of moving in together when Jinyoung had first suggested it, but Mark had accepted seemingly without a second thought. There had been one or two bumps along the way as they figured out each other's routines and adjusted their own accordingly, but Jinyoung thought they were a good fit. They shared their space harmoniously, and even their unfortunate couch could be beautiful when they sat on it together after a long day at work, Jinyoung leaning into Mark's shoulder and Mark playing with his hair with his gentle hands.

Jinyoung smiled to himself. The years had definitely been good to them. They'd both settled into good jobs. Mark was still with his family business and had a side gig of touring as a guest concert pianist in the orchestral circuit, and Jinyoung was splitting his time as an audio book narrator and a choir director at the nearby high school. Their schedules were flexible enough that they could spend plenty of time together and still be able to keep in close contact with their college friends. But even more than that, they'd both grown as lovers. Mark, who had always been a bit halting with love due to his past traumas and insecurities, had learned to be more open and unafraid. And Jinyoung, along with learning enough Sign Language to be able to speak to Mark with near fluency, had learned how to be a more supportive, stronger person in order to help Mark with difficulties that came attached to his condition. Becoming an adult hadn't magically made them go away—people in their world were still prone to misunderstanding Mark and not giving him the time and patience he needed to communicate. But it hurt less now, because they had each other. When he stumbled, Mark always had Jinyoung to fall back on. And Jinyoung felt he could also rely on Mark for the same. Whether it was at work or at home, Mark was behind Jinyoung for every important decision, trusting him whatever came.

The toaster pinged, and Jinyoung sighed in relief when he pulled out two lightly browned pieces of bread. Perfect. As he went to grab some plates, he heard the sound of Mark warming up on the grand piano upstairs. So much for breakfast in bed. Mark usually wasn't an early riser—neither of them were—but on the occasions when he was, it was straight to the piano for him. It helped him clear his mind at the start of the day, he said, and set the tone for the rest of the day. Jinyoung didn't mind; in fact, he loved this habit of Mark's. It was like being invited to a free concert every morning, and besides, he felt like he could understand what was going through Mark's mind from listening to his music. His speech condition aside, he wasn't a heavy talker, but he revealed so much about himself in other ways, his words and ideas pouring out of him from his body through his music, his gestures, the looks he got in his expressive eyes, the way he touched Jinyoung with his even more expressive hands. Jinyoung felt like he almost understood Mark better from the things that he didn't say than from what he did.

After warming up, Mark started playing his song of the morning. Jinyoung recognized it almost immediately—Maurice Ravel's “Pavane pour une infante defunte.” He was good at identifying composers now, thanks to living with Mark. When he wasn't playing the piano, he was pumping music from their speaker set or taking Jinyoung to his concerts or Youngjae's or his parents'. Jinyoung had always loved music, so it was special for him to be wrapped up in it, surrounded by it. He felt like all the songs he heard were a part of what had shaped Mark as a person and defined him to this day.

And “Pavane” was such a pretty piece. He supposed the feelings it evoked changed from person to person, but for him it was nostalgic, the melody of memories whether happy or sad or bittersweet touching and shaping the heart. He paused for a moment, leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and listened.

After another minute, he opened his eyes again and pulled some glasses from the cupboard, filling them with orange juice. A simple breakfast, but neither of them were morning people. In any case, Jinyoung didn't feel particularly hungry at the moment, at least not for toast or orange juice. A different kind of hunger had filled him at the sound of Mark's playing, one that couldn't be solved just by eating a half-assed breakfast.

He set their food and drinks on the table, then climbed up the stairs to the piano room where Mark was staring to wrap up the final section of the piece. He lifted his eyes from the keys as Jinyoung entered the room, his lips curling upwards in an instantaneous smile, one as sweet, caressing, and gentle as the notes he was playing. Jinyoung felt his heart flutter. He still remembered the first time Mark had looked at him when those eyes had been filled with pure fury, and it still amazed him sometimes that they now always looked at him with a kindness and love deeper than anything Jinyoung had ever experienced.

Jinyoung sat down next to Mark at the piano bench, holding his eyes. Mark didn't need to look at the keys or the score for a piece he was as familiar with as this one, and kept on playing while looking at Jinyoung. The notes his fingers were playing changed just slightly, becoming slower, more longing, more gentle, shifting from a score determined by the notes written on a piece of paper to something shaped by his own individual feeling of love, love for Jinyoung.

Jinyoung leaned in and kissed him, thick and open mouthed, returning that love in the way his body had been begging him to ever since Mark had started playing. It was a slow kiss, paced in time with the music Mark's fingers were still playing even though his lips were now occupied, just as longing, just as leaden with emotion. It felt like Mark had been communicating to him with his music, and now he was responding back with an answer of his own. I hear you. I understand you. I love you.

Still, maybe it wasn't enough if Mark was still able to play fluidly while Jinyoung was kissing him. Even if the music was his own response—Yes, I love you too, of course I do—Jinyoung still preferred stirring Mark up into a frenzy that couldn't be matched by this soothing of a song. He maneuvered his mouth to roughly tug on Mark's lower lip, placing his hands on Mark's upper thighs and squeezing them as he did so.

A gasp. Several missed notes. Mark tried to put his hands back on the keys, but eventually gave up and grabbed Jinyoung by the waist, kissing him harder, deeper. Yes, just like this.

At long last, Jinyoung pulled away, once again holding Mark's slightly dazed eyes as he shifted back. Good morning, he signed, quirking his freshly kissed lips into a contented smile. Breakfast is waiting for you in the kitchen. Come on.

They both had the day off of work, so they went for a walk in the park together as they liked to do on warm days, ever since the first “date” with Fusili. Sometimes they did still bring the dog along when Youngjae needed a sitter, but today it was just them. They held hands for awhile as they walked, enjoying the silence, but when they reached the benches, they finally let each other go so they could talk.

“Do you have anything planned for today?” Jinyoung asked, signing along with his words. Even though he was a good signer now, Mark still wanted to hear his voice. “Besides this, of course.”

Mark shook his head. Just piano practice, he signed. Did you want to do something?

“Just staying home and relaxing is fine by me. Since you were off in China the other week for a performance, I want to spend time with you.”

Missed you, too.

“Hmm, it wasn't too bad,” Jinyoung said, trying to feign a look of indifference. Mark just lifted an eyebrow knowingly. Jinyoung had texted him quite a bit during his absence. And ted, too. As much as he liked his alone time, he hated the feeling of being in an empty house. It wasn't the quiet, because that came along naturally in being together with Mark. It was the distinct feeling of missing something that should have been there. Even when Mark was being perfectly quiet, Jinyoung could always sense whether he was there or not, and the nagging feeling of absence when he wasn'tthere drove Jinyoung crazy.

I'll take you with me to my next foreign concert, Mark signed. They always get me a nice hotel, so we can make it a nice vacation together.

“I've always wanted to go to Vienna.”

I'll try to worm my way into an invitation, then.

“Until then, let's relax for awhile here in Korea.” He gave Mark a careful glance. There was something he'd been wanting to bring up, but he'd never been able to get the timing right. Maybe now was the moment. “Although, our anniversary is coming up...”

Mark showed a lot through his face since he'd spent the majority of his life unable to use verbal cues, and Jinyoung could instantly sense the momentary flash of alarm when the word “anniversary” was mentioned. He tried to rearrange his face into a knowing look of ah-of-course-I-remembered-that, but Jinyoung had already caught the initial reaction.

“You'd forgotten?” he said, a little dismayed.

Mark shook his head. Of course not. It's been five years, huh. A big one.

Jinyoung wasn't at all convinced that he'd actually remembered before Jinyoung had said something, and a part of him was demanding him to scold Mark a little bit for it, but he held himself back. Don't be that guy who causes tension in a perfectly happy relationship over an anniversary, he coached himself. Just give him a gentle nudge and remind him we should do something special to celebrate if he hasn't planned anything.

“So any grand ideas about what we're going to do?” Jinyoung fished.

Mark shook his head. Looks like you're the one who's forgotten, Jinyoung. My solo showcase was scheduled on that day, and I couldn't change it. We'll be at the concert hall all evening.

Jinyoung blinked in surprise. He'd remembered that Mark was going to be having his first solo performance as a pianist—he was downright thrilled about it, in fact—but he hadn't realized that the date was the same day as their anniversary. Had Mark mentioned this before? Jinyoung did miss certain signs from time to time, and he still couldn't catch 100% of what Mark said to him.

“Oh, is it?” Jinyoung asked, trying to keep his voice light. He didn't want to sound disappointed, because Mark's performance was a huge deal, far more significant than an anniversary when they in a sense celebrated being in love every day, but he'd really been expecting a lot from this anniversary. He'd gotten Mark a spectacular gift, and he'd been praying for a spectacular gift back. Potentially an engagement ring, if that wasn't asking too much. “Well, that's fine. We can celebrate another day.”

Or in the morning, Mark responded. Don't worry about it, Jinyoung. It will be fine.

Jinyoung nodded. He really didn't want to be a brat about it, so he was going to try and leave it at that for now. Mark knew Jinyoung as well as Jinyoung knew him, after all. He wouldn't just do nothing if he knew how important it was to Jinyoung.

Five years, though, Mark said. Have we really been together that long? It really went by quickly, didn't it?

“Glad it wasn't a drag for you.”

I wouldn't have minded it dragging at all. I would have still savored every moment.

Jinyoung grinned. “I feel the same, you know. Every part of it could have lasted an eternity for all I cared.”

Mark smiled back flusteredly. Jinyoung knew even now he was still getting used to the idea of being loved after assuming he'd spend his adult life alone, but Jinyoung wished he could cure him of that small bit of shock every time Jinyoung said the words “I love you” to him. To Jinyoung, loving Mark felt as natural as breathing—that there were even people in the world who couldn't see everything that was so sweet, endearing, and blindingly beautiful about Mark was baffling to him. Mark was far more self-assured than he had been in the past, but still, Jinyoung wished he could make him understand that loving him wasn't a conscious effort on his part or even something he had the slightest reservation about. It was who he was, embedded into his very heart, and no difficulty or obstacle could change that. He simply loved Mark, and meant that love with every fiber of his being.

These have been the happiest five years of my life, Mark signed, holding Jinyoung's eyes. Thank you.

I wouldn't trade it for anything, Jinyoung signed back. But let's make the next five years even happier, shall we?

Getting to be happy was its own kind of miracle. He was reminded of that every day when he looked in the mirror and saw a smiling face looking back. And he was reminded of that now, in bed with Mark, tracing the line of a scar on his throat. He'd never noticed it was there until they'd start becoming intimate with each other, since it was a small detail. It had turned white and faded with age, and was barely visible unless you knew to look for it. But you could feel it with your fingers—that was how he'd discovered it the first time, when he'd run a finger down Mark's long and beautiful neck their first time together. Mark had flinched at first, but Jinyoung had done it again, gentler the second time, to let Mark know that he accepted this part of him too and didn't want to hide from it or pretend it wasn't there.

It was from the time when he has was fifteen, the worst of his panic attacks. He'd really tried to hurt himself then, so badly it had left a lasting imprint on him, though of course the memory of the incident had left a deeper and even more enduring wound on the inside. The panic attacks had ended and there hadn't been a new one in the last five years, but Jinyoung was aware the pain of what had happened would never fade, just as the pain of his parents' death was still a bruise on Jinyoung's own heart. That was why happiness was a true treasure—even if certain wounds never healed, you were always able to be stronger than the pain because there was something or someone worth enduring for.

Jinyoung pressed his lips gently against Mark's scar then pulled away, looking down into his eyes. Mark exhaled, wrapping his arms around Jinyoung's back. His fingers moved along his skin, shaping the characters for love, then “kiss me.” Jinyoung was more than happy to oblige—Mark had used to think his mouth was filled with nothing but emptiness, a manifestation of his bitterness at what had been taken from him, but he'd changed his mind about that entirely, and was always enthusiastic about kissing Jinyoung. I can't feel empty when you're filling me, he'd said once. When Jinyoung had asked him if he felt empty when Jinyoung wasn't around to occupy that space, he'd just shaken his head. I feel you everywhere, Jinyoungie. I'm never without you.

When Jinyoung pulled away, Mark reached up to cup his face, Jinyoung's jaw gently with his thumbs. They just studied each other for a few minutes, the comfortable silence stretching between them. But it wasn't perfect silence. Mark communicated with his hands, and right now Jinyoung felt thousands of words pouring into his body from all ten of Mark's fingers. He closed his eyes and listened. He felt the story of those five years together in those touches—the shift from hesitance to trust, from confusion to clarity, from friendship to love. They had come such a long way from then to now, and it made Jinyoung want to cry that Mark had put so much faith in him after not having much faith in anything for so long. That was a gift enough. That was the greatest miracle of happiness. Suddenly he felt incredibly selfish for looking at the day of their anniversary only as an opportunity to seize more. Mark had already given him the one thing he'd never given anyone else, and it didn't require any further symbols or binding words to make it any more real. They were already bound together as deeply as they could possibly be.

He opened his eyes, and Mark rolled him over, climbing on top of him, kissing the moist corners of his eyes, then his cheeks, then his throat. Jinyoung in his breath, hitching his legs up. Nothing more needed to be said. They knew each other in a way only two souls formed for each other could, and that knowledge didn't need to be expressed to be taken in.

Mark slipped inside of him, and Jinyoung sighed in bliss, taking in his own sense of never needing to feel empty anymore, of feeling Mark everywhere. It really was a miracle, the best and most beautiful miracle in the world.

A thousand words of love and gratitude and happiness passed between them as they moved, and not a single word was spoken out loud.

Jinyoung had been planning on getting up early the day of their anniversary and actually succeeding in making Mark breakfast in bed, but Mark beat him to it, waking him up at 8:00 with a plate full of Jinyoung's favorite pastries from Tous Les Jours. Jinyoung yawned and stretched, his stomach immediately rousing him in response to the sweet aromas flooding his nose. Mark leaned over and kissed Jinyoung's forehead, setting the tray on his lap.

Happy anniversary, he signed. Your feast, my prince.

"I'm your prince now?" Jinyoung asked wryly. Still, he couldn't hold back his grin. "Happy anniversary to you, too. You know, I was planning on cooking you breakfast."

I know.

Jinyoung glared. "This better be you trying to save me the trouble instead of you suggesting I can't cook, Mark Tuan." He picked up a pastry and bit into it, sighing in contentment. "Perfect. Come on, you have one, too."

Mark picked up a croissant and shoved it into his mouth whole. Jinyoung wrinkled his nose. "Wow, you're so charming."

You love me.

"Your eating habits weren't quite what won me over, but sure." He glanced over at their closet, where Mark's suit for that night (complete with tails—he was going all out) was hanging. "You know, you never told me what your set list for your showcase is going to be."

It's a surprise.

"Is that why you haven't be practicing around here for the past few weeks? I thought that was odd."

It's better to practice on the exact instrument I'll be playing on for the show, so I've been dropping by the concert hall. I hope that wasn't a bother.

"No, but now I'm curious. I want to know what the mystery set list is."

Patience, my prince. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

"If it's you playing, that goes without saying."

After quickly eating their way through the Tous Les Jours pastries, the two of them got dressed and headed downstairs. Mark grabbed a card from the table and it into Jinyoung's hands. Here.

Jinyoung took it, lifting an eyebrow. This wasn't his gift, was it? Even after determining not to get his hopes up and deciding he didn't even need an engagement ring to be happy, he was still angling for a square shaped present in his heart of hearts. Or at the very least, something that wasn't a gift card.

He slit the envelope open and pulled out a card. "To my beloved on our fifth anniversary," Jinyoung read out loud. That was the printed message on it— he wasn't sure Mark would say something as dramatic as "beloved" if it were up to him. Perhaps he'd favor "my prince," but as a joke. Jinyoung opened the card. A few photographs slipped out. One was of their group of friends after one of Jinyoung's recitals in university, the time they'd gone out to Yugyeom's family restaurant before he and Mark had started dating. The second one was from the bonfire at Jackson's shortly after they'd started going out. It was a picture he'd never seen before or had been aware at the time of anyone taking, a shot of the two of them walking hand and hand together, staring up, smiling at the starry sky.

"Dear Ripboard Boy," Jinyoung read on the inside of the card. This time it was obviously written by Mark himself. "If someone had told me after you gave me a bruise the size of Texas on my leg that we'd fall in love with each other, I'd have probably smacked them one in the face. But I hope you know that this day five years ago was the most special of my life, to hear someone tell me for the first time I have the sweetest, most beautiful voice in the world. Because of that, every moment leading up to that day was precious, even the one where you hit me with a rip board. I love you, Park Jinyoungie who actually does have the sweetest, most beautiful voice in the world. Thanks for five amazing years."

Jinyoung looked up, hiding his smiling yet still quavering lips with his hand. "Mark...thanks for that."

Of course. I meant every word. Mark reached around for a moment to secure Jinyoung in a gentle hug before releasing him again. The pictures are from Jackson. I thought you'd like to frame them, or something.

"Yes, definitely." Jinyoung studied the one of them in the restaurant more closely. You could totally see him outright staring at Mark in it, his look almost possessive. That had been the time Mark had first met BamBam and Yugyeom, and Jinyoung's worry that either of them would swoop him up was plain on his face. God, he'd been so insecurely obsessed back then— he'd even convinced himself Youngjae was a rival at some points, when Youngjae had pretty much zeroed in on Jaebum and never looked back. He had been relieved when Mark confessed that he'd thought Jinyoung and Eunmi were together for awhile, since it made Jinyoung himself look like less of a presumptive and jealous idiot. "Is this your gift? Are you going to pay for a framing service, or something?"

No, my gift is coming later, Mark responded. A little bit more grand than two photographs, I promise. And what about my gift?

"Ah..." Jinyoung reached into the breadbox where he'd stashed his own card to Mark the night before. "Looks like I had a similar idea to you with the card lead up, I guess."

Mark slit the card open and read the front to himself ("Happy Anniversary to the one who has taken me on all of life's adventures..."). When he opened it up, a folded slip of paper fell out, which he set on the table for a moment so he could read the inside message ("Through joy and sadness, through good days and bad days, you are the only one I want to walk the flower roads of my life with. I love you even more this moment than I did five years ago today, and I know that love will keep building every moment we're together. I love you, my passionné, my Mark, my one and only. Love, your Jinyoung.")

Sappy, aren't we?, Mark signed, but there was no denying he looked moved. He leaned in to press a kiss on Jinyoung's cheek before picking up the paper that had fallen out earlier and unfolding it. Jinyoung held his breath. Mark wouldn't be reading it out loud, of course, but Jinyoung already knew the content by heart.

Step one. Get your phone and turn it on.

Mark looked a bit baffled at this at first, but grabbed his phone from his back pocket and punched in his password.

Step two. Go to the third page of apps. See that box with the picture of a microphone at the bottom? Click on it. I installed that for you last night.

Mark touched it, and a blue screen popped up with the name of a famous technology company displayed. After a minute, the screen changed to a menu for a new text-to-speech app. Mark looked up at Jinyoung quizzically. I've never heard of this app before, he signed. I mean, I know this is the company that designed the app I've been using, but...

"That's because it's still unreleased," Jinyoung explained. "You're an official beta tester."

Mark looked even more confused. But Jinyoung, this company is world famous. Huge. There's no way I'd just randomly be picked for something like this.

"It wasn't random. Someone at my audio book company knows someone who works there. He introduced us, and I told the guy about you...about how you used their company's voice tech, but had some issues with it. I mean, you've really fallen off using it, haven't you? You don't need to use it as much with me anymore, but I've noticed when we're with Jaebum or Jackson or the others, you've been using me to translate instead of using your phone like you used to.”

With how modern technology is these days, I just hate sounding so robotic all the time, Mark admitted. It was advanced stuff when we first met, but it feels really outdated now, and I just don't feel as confident using it anymore.

"I understand," Jinyoung said. "I mean, I personally always liked it, but I get where you're coming from. But if you don't have that technology, it's really hard to talk with people other than me and Youngjae and your parents, right? And as much as I don't mind being the center of your world, I still remember what our sign language teacher said in university. About the importance of having a broader world. So I want you to feel more confident about using voice tech again. So check out the next step."

Step three. Type out something incredibly sappy to me and tell me how much you love me on our anniversary.

Mark gave Jinyoung a look. The card wasn't enough?

"I can never get enough words of love from you, Mark. Just do it."

Mark started typing into the phone, his eyes widening instantly as he did so. The interface of this app was far more intuitive—it collected data from the things Mark had typed in the older version of the app and could help him complete and map out his sentences much faster. There was also an emotion cue Mark could check off if he wanted to influence the inflections the program would use when it "spoke." Overall, the tech company had promised a far more satisfying experience for Mark— "We can understand how people can wind up burned out from constantly typing responses at every moment, so we tried to make it as simple as possible," the company representative had said to Jinyoung. "This app is of course for voice tech, but we also want it to be a bit of a mind reader, anticipating what the user wants to say based on their patterns and giving them all the shortcuts they need to say it as fast as they can."

After a much briefer moment than Mark usually required to type, the audio played: "How many times must I say I love you to satisfy your ego, Park Jinyoung? You're perfect, and you know it."

He'd clearly picked out the "annoyed" emotion, based on the inflections. And the inflections were clear in the audio, unlike his previous app which had been mainly monotone—for once, it fully matched the slightly exasperated look Mark had given him when he'd signed the card wasn't enough? in the first place. And best of all, Jinyoung had made sure to secure Mark the voice that had been closest to the kind he'd used when Jinyoung had first met him, the deeper toned audio file that Jinyoung had once (perhaps a bit idiotically) said suited him. And now, now that it had emotions and spoke less robotically, it suited Mark even better. They were his words, of course, so it felt just like him.

Mark stared at his phone in shock. He looked ready to sign something to Jinyoung, but Jinyoung quickly shook his head. "Type it," he said. "Keep trying out the technology. Let's have a full conversation like this."

Mark quickly began typing. "Is this for real? This is about five times better than the last app." This time the voice was slightly shocked. His previous app had always sounded a bit dramatic when asking a question, overemphasizing the higher inflection at the question mark, but this app executed the question naturally while still keeping the emotional tone right.

"Well, that's what they promised. As you said, times are changing, and we can't keep people sounding like robots."

"Seriously, Jinyoung, I sound like a person right now."

"I've always thought you sounded like a person."

"That's because you were delusional about me from the beginning. Every one else was incredibly weired out when I played the old audio files or were just pretending like they weren't." He dashed out another message. "And these text suggestions are even better than the standard text messaging program phones come with. I thought it was going to auto correct to something stupid, but all the suggestions are good." He smiled a little. "It says 'Jinyoung' is my most used word, though."

Jinyoung smiled. "Yeah, I saw that when I was setting it up."

"It makes sense that it would be. Because I love you. Sorry for not writing something sappy enough the first time, but I'm starting to feel a little bit sappy now." He typed out another message and let it play, clearly having set the audio to something like "y." "Too bad we wasted time getting dressed this morning. I think I need to take you back to bed right now. You've just earned a very thorough demonstration of just how in love with you I am and just how much I love every little thing you do for me like this." The y tone was kind of hammy, but Jinyoung loved it. Then again, he'd never been bothered by Mark's use of voice tech to begin with. If he had to pick, he liked signing more, especially since he'd put so much effort into learning it, but he really did want Mark to be able to communicate with everyone else who couldn't sign, too.

"Oh?" Jinyoung said, lifting an eyebrow and trying a y tone of his own. "Weren't we going to save that for tonight?"

"We can do it tonight, too. If I didn't have the showcase tonight, I'd do it with you all day. I love you, Park Jinyoung. There's never a limit on that, OK?"

"I know," Jinyoung said, smiling. "I wasn't lying when I said I only wanted to walk on the flower roads of my life with you. And honestly, the rose petal strewn road up to our bed is by far the one I want to keep walking the most."

Mark had to leave to go to the concert hall around 3, several hours before the scheduled 8 PM start time. Jinyoung used the time to himself to shower and get himself back to presentable after their morning detour, since he wanted to be just as nicely dressed for Mark's recital as Mark himself was. He pulled out some leftovers from the fridge for dinner (Mark had promised to take him out to a restaurant the next day to make up for missing dinner that night), then got into Mark's van so he could pick up all their friends for the evening out.

First stop was Jaebum and Youngjae's place. They'd also moved in together after graduating, and it seemed to be going well for them. Youngjae had been blossoming over the past few years, and though it was doubtful his stutter would ever go away, he'd been managing it a lot more confidently than previously. His volume, at least, had amplified considerably from his previous whispers.

"S-s-so h-how's it g-g-going lover b-boy?" he asked, bounding up into the van. "G-get a g-good g-gift?"

"Mark hasn't given it to me yet. He said I'd get it later."

"Later?" Jaebum asked. "It's already going to be pretty late by time this concert thing is over."

"M-maybe h-he's g-going to do s-some k-k-kind of c-crazy thing in b-bed?" Youngjae offered.

"Ugh, please," Jaebum said.

"If that was the gift, then he's given it already," Jinyoung said absently. "I think it's something else."

"He'll come through," Jaebum guessed. "He probably knows better than anyone the wrath of pissed off Jinyoung."

"Shut up," Jinyoung advised. He glanced over at Youngjae sitting beside him. "How's Fusili?"

"F-f-fine. H-He and Jaebum are f-f-fighting again."

"The giant noodle keeps on trying to eat my cats," Jaebum said petulantly.

"H-he j-just w-wants to p-p-play."

"Tell that to my traumatized children." Jaebum pulled Youngjae's cheeks. "You're lucky you and the noodle are so cute with those puppy dog eyes of yours or I swear to god..."

Jackson and BamBam's was the next stop. They were living together now, but Jinyoung wasn't exactly clear on the nature of their relationship, whether they were attempting a serious relationship and were just incredibly on-again-off-again about it, or if they were just friends with a tendency of fussing at each other as if they were in an actual relationship. Whatever the case was, they had some kind of thing going on, and Jinyoung really preferred not to fish around for details.

"Hey, man," BamBam said, sliding into the van. "Get any good gifts today?"

"S-s-," Youngjae informed him.

"And something additional to come later," Jaebum added.

"Fun," Jackson said. "What did you get him?"

"Top of the line, unreleased voice tech," Jinyoung said. "Be sure to get him to talk to you on his phone later. It's really incredible what it can do now."

"Can it do anything while you guys are in bed together?" BamBam wondered.

"Why do all of you live in the gutter?" Jinyoung wondered. "I started this relationship because I happened to fall in love with someone who I needed to be gentle and supportive with, not aggressive, and you guys all act like I'm in it to get laid."

"Oh come on, we all know you guys are completely over the moon for each other, but that's gross to talk about," BamBam said.

"And my intimate business isn't gross to talk about?"

"Actually, no, it's funny to see you get embarrassed," Jackson answered for BamBam.

"Please shut up."

The last stop was at Yugyeom and Eunmi's. It was always a bit odd to Jinyoung that they'd had an even longer road to getting together than Mark and Jinyoung had since they'd known each other since childhood and both clearly had been into each other before splitting into different locations. But Eunmi had her own share of hangups to get over, and Yugyeom (that giant brat) was too good at playing indifferent, which had only made things more anxious for her. It had made Jinyoung all the more grateful that he'd chosen to be as frank and straight forward as possible when wooing Mark since they could have had the same difficulties as Eunmi and Yugyeom considering that Mark had a laundry list of insecurities that easily put Eunmi's to shame. And he always liked feeling superior to Yugyeom, so there was that benefit, too.

"Happy anniversary!" Eunmi said brightly when she entered the van. "What's your gift this year?"

"Hasn't gotten it yet," Jackson answered. "Mark's toying with him."

"Well, at least we know he couldn't have forgotten about the anniversary and gift," Yugyeom said. "Considering Jinyoung probably reminded him every hour for the month leading up to the anniversary, sharpie-d it on to the calendar, and possible tattooed it onto Mark's body."

"Yugyeom, shut up," Jinyoung advised.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Eunmi said. "Mark always gives great gifts. Meanwhile Yugyeom..." She started laughing to herself, rolling her eyes. "Last year he put a bow on his head and started doing this dance where he was practically humping the floor."

"You liked it," Yugyeom reminded her.

"Yeah, but we were in the private room of an upscale French restaurant, and the waiter walked in to offer us more wine right when you were in the middle of doing it. I'm not going to lie, though, the look on his face was a pretty priceless gift."

Their group reached the concert hall and found their reserved seats at the front of the room. Mark's family was already waiting for them there, and both his parents immediately got to their feet to embrace Jinyoung. Mark hadn't even bothered to go through the process of hiding their relationship from them, but they hadn't minded it in the slightest. "Anything that makes our son happy," was their automatic response. "And he seems like the happiest he's ever been, there's nothing for us to worry about."

"Did our son manage to get you a good gift this year?" Mrs. Tuan asked anxiously. She seemed to be staring directly at Jinyoung's ring finger. Now that Jinyoung thought of it, everyone else had too when they'd gotten in the car. It looked like he wasn't the only one with high expectations.

"The gift's coming later, apparently," he said, keeping his voice upbeat. He was going to trust Mark. Whether the coming gift was an engagement ring or not, he was sure it was something that would make him happy.

At long last, the buzzer at the venue rang, and everyone scrambled to take their seats. Usually at these showcase events, the host orchestra's conductor would do the introductions, but Mark had selected Joohyun, the sign language teacher he'd worked with at their old university, so she could sign along with her speech since a lot of Mark's most avid fans were people who shared his condition and admired him for how he'd made a name for himself in spite of his setbacks.

"Welcome to tonight's event, the debut showcase of rising Taiwanese pianist Mark Tuan," Joohyun said, signing along with her words. "I've known Mark from a young age, and he's always wowed with his skills as a musician. One of the most famous stories from his elementary school was when he stopped the choir director mid-rehearsal for the school entrance ceremony and informed her she was causing Beethoven pain with her rendition of Ode to Joy. He promptly leapt onto the bench and played it so flawlessly that all the children were screaming and clapping for him by time he finished."

The audience chuckled at that, including Jinyoung. He'd never heard that one before.

"And ever since, Mark Tuan has only risen. I'm sure I don't need to list his résumé to those gathered here, but his more recent accomplishments include guest performing with the Beijing Symphony orchestra following a brief tour with the Seoul Philharmonic for their summer Debussy exhibition. But more so than his talent as a musician, Mark Tuan has always wowed me more with his determination as a human being. As many of you know, he lost his ability to speak at a young age, and that loss has lead to many challenges that most people would never dream of experiencing. But every time he's fallen, he's risen again stronger than before, and tonight I believe you'll be able to witness him at his strongest. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mark Tuan."

Mark crossed the stage, resplendent in his tux and tails, to bow and shake hands with Joohyun. The clapping in the audience was enthusiastic, and Jinyoung felt a surge of pride. He loved it when the rest of the world acknowledged Mark's brilliance. He wanted everyone to see it for as evident is at was, even if that meant sharing Mark a little.

Mark took a seat at the piano and set down his sheet music. As he prepared, Joohyun turned back to the audience. "The theme of this evening is 'The Road of Love,'" she said. "Each piece will express different emotions involved in the process of discovering and embracing love. We'll start off with our first two pieces of the evening: Liszt's Liebesträum and Chopin's Ballades, 1 through 4."

Jinyoung's cheeks flushed a little. The Road of Love? He got the feeling Mark was doing this specifically for him, though of course, he couldn't be sure. Mark had been planning this showcase for a long time, probably even before he'd remembered it was their anniversary. As a pianist, he was of course going to play to his strengths, and his strengths were definitely Liszt and Chopin, two of the pianists he most enjoyed playing. It may have had nothing to do with Jinyoung, even if he stuck a certain title on it.

Still, Jinyoung was content to sit back and listen, thinking of their own road to love as Mark played. No matter how you looked at it Liebesträum was a romantic piece considering that the title translated to Love Dream, practically the soundtrack of falling in love. He of course didn't know the whole process that had gone into Mark falling in love with him (it hadn't taken the same course as Jinyoung's, who'd already started to fall even before Jaebum's stupid ripboard had taken out Mark's shin), but he knew the journey his own heart had taken, and it felt something like this piece, sometimes gentle and temperate, sometimes fluttering and untamed. He remembered how his heart had felt looking at Mark's intense expression the first time, then watching that expression melt day by day, and falling, falling, falling until he was lost in that face and those eyes forever without regret. A wild journey, certainly, but one of the most natural things that had ever happened to him.

It was a short, five minute piece, but it felt like Mark had conveyed volumes with it, and the audience broke into enthusiastic applause at its conclusion. After the applause finally died down, Mark moved into the Chopin piece, a much longer piece at over 30 minutes. As Jinyoung listened, he thought he understood what Mark was trying to convey in this performance. It was less straightforwardly romantic than Liebesträum, but contained the full spectrum of love within it—the uncertainty, the liberation, the hesitance, the occasional sadness, the joy, the lightness, the fast fall into something unknown and potentially dangerous.

Jinyoung closed his eyes and let each ballade take him some place different. Back to the moment when they'd held hands after walking Fusili. Back to the classroom where Jinyoung had taken in his fill of watching Mark and his beautiful hands and where Mark had done his best to look at anyone but Jinyoung. Back to the Tuan's kitchen where Jinyoung had felt his heart nearly squeezed out of his chest when Mark's mother had told him about his panic attack. Back to the moments cooped up in his bedroom pouring over sign language books, praying he'd find the way to open up Mark's heart and world with each sign he learned. Back to their almost-first kiss backstage, back to their real first kiss, back to the butterflies and turmoil in his stomach giving him both agony and joy at once.

Following the applause at the conclusion of the Ballades, Joohyun returned to the front of the stage. "Our next two pieces are of special importance to Mark, and he said to make sure I emphasized that when I introduced them. Our first two pieces were to express the blooming of love in the heart and the turmoil and bliss of its growth. Our next two will also express different aspects of love. First is Tchaikovsky's Aveu Passionné from the Voyevoda, which to Mark expresses the passion and tension of falling in love. The next is an original composition to be debuted for the first time tonight. This piece will express the joy of realized love and the hope of a long journey into the future."

Jinyoung was sure now, that all of this was for him, Mark's gift. The first two pieces could be brushed off, but Aveu Passionné was their song and was always a form of communication between them. This is my passion for you. This is the the deepest, most potent emotion of my heart which you and only you can cause.

In the scheme of things, it was such a short piece for how important it was to him, but he held on to every note of it, feeling that passion roiling through him again, the memories of that time at the concert in the park, that time Mark played this piece for him in his room and everything he had been feeling on both of those occasions, a love flooding through him without release, an emotion so wild and all-powerful that he wondered now how he had been able to contain himself so long from giving his own passionate confession. He remembered how Mark had been watching him the first time they'd listened to this song together. The way your eyes looked when you were listening, it was really beautiful. Because of how much you felt it, I felt like I got it, too. And he could tell in his playing that Mark really did get it. That the passion Jinyoung had always worried he'd fallen into alone back then had truly developed into something for the two of them, a turbulent passion which swept over and claimed them both.

Mark didn't wait for the applause before moving straight into his next piece, the self-composed number Joohyun had mentioned. It was different in tone from the Liszt, Chopin, and Tchaikovsky, more modern, but somehow seemed to encapsulate the essence of all three notions of love within it. The breathlessness of the initial fall, the whirlwind of emotion as you tried to steady yourself and your heart, the tempest of passion when steadying yourself simply wouldn't work. But rather than Mark's interpretation of someone else's notes and melodies, these were Mark's original melodies, his own emotions expressed in music.

This was them, their love. There was no doubt about that now. Joohyun said it was about the joy of realized love and the journey into the future, and Jinyoung could feel both in the composition, the way Mark's fingers flew over the keys with leaps and bounds of happiness, then slowed to a more steady rhythm of people walking side by side together on a road just for the two of them.

We love each other, but it was never just love, the notes seemed to be saying to him. For you, it was being strong enough to put your hopes into something after losing everything you loved, taking that step to follow in the path of your lucky star. For me, it was learning to trust and love myself, flaws and all, enough to love and trust others, and above all you. It wasn't an easy journey. It wasn't always a happy one. But it shaped us and formed us into these strong, fulfilled people who will never know that kind of emptiness again. I would make that journey time and time again, if it's at your side.

Tears flooded Jinyoung's eyes. He felt like Mark was proudly narrating their love story for the world to hear, and he felt beautiful wrapped inside those notes, adored equally by the one he adored most in the world. Was this song his gift? If it was, he couldn't imagine anything more beautiful being done in his name than this music, immortalizing their love in a way that could outlast even them if it wanted.

Mark was always easiest to understand through his music. And this was the clearest, firmest I love you he'd ever conveyed to Jinyoung in his life.

The piece's conclusion was met with thunderous applause from the audience, and everyone rose to their feet, slamming their hands together for the brilliance of the pianist. Jinyoung was still crying and a bit unsteady on his feet, but made every effort to be the loudest of them all. Maybe no one in the room understood the communication between Mark and Jinyoung in that song, but Jinyoung knew and understood it, and that was everything to him. He waited for the moment Mark turned from his piano keys, gathered his sheet music, and rose to bow to the audience to meet his eyes and sign thank you to him, both the simplest and deepest thing his body could express at the moment.

Instead of bowing to the audience, Mark went to the edge of the stage and knelt down in front of where Jinyoung was sitting in the first row, extending the sheet music to him as an offering. Jinyoung accepted it into his arms, looking at the title. Jinyoung's Ballade: Mon Aveu. His breath caught in his throat, and he looked up at Mark again, suddenly oblivious to all the clapping and cheering going on around them.

Would like this to play at our wedding?, Mark signed, smiling gently down at him.

Getting to be happy was its own kind of miracle. He'd felt that every day for the past five years, but now more than ever, holding the hand of the person he loved and feeling the words of those expressive hands flowing into his body. You're not alone now and you never will be. I'll always be here to walk beside you. He felt that promise, and squeezed his lovers' hands, sending it back. You'll never face the darkness by yourself anymore. I'll carry your wounds, whether old or new, together with you.

A thousand promises of the eternity spreading out before them passed between them as they walked, and no audible words were exchanged for the others around them to hear, just the gentle movements of interlocking hands that never intended to let go. 

Bonus A/N: Mark's piano piece for Jinyoung is supposed to be an original, so I couldn't link it like the others, but for anyone curious, the closest comparison to what I was imagining is the piano part of Attraversiamo

Hope you enjoyed, my loves~ Leave your thoughts!