A/N: I'm so happy you're all enjoying it so far. Thank you so much for your support and comments and I hope you'll continue to enjoy it!

4. Aveu Passionné

Youngjae sat on Mark's floor, utterly failing to suppress his I-told-you-so smirk. So you like mildly attractive singer Park Jinyoung after all, he signed, showing all his smugness in his face. I could have told you that a few weeks ago.

No, you couldn't have. I didn't like him like that back then. I was just- Mark tried to find the best word- ...interested.

Youngjae had responded quickly to his call for help, particularly since he'd been trying to get together with Mark since the Tchaikovsky concert to talk about his so-called 'date.' As close as he was to Youngjae, Mark still had qualms about talking about Jinyoung with him, if only because of Youngjae's infuriating self-satisfaction at having predicted Mark's crush before it had actually happened. Still, he was willing to put up with it for the sake of properly figuring out the best course of action. Youngjae technically wasn't much more relationship savvy than Mark himself was, but he offered a different perspective at the very least.

And now you're more than interested. Youngjae wiggled his eyebrows, and Mark rolled his eyes. So now that you've wised up, why do you need help? He likes you, too, doesn't he?

Mark froze. Why do you say that?

Come on, you guys were completely making love to each other with your eyes at the orchestra concert. I felt like I was intruding on something intimate, and I was a few rows behind you.

That was my fault, the whole staring at him thing, not his.

Mark, he was completely staring back. And blushing.

Because I'd embarrassed him.

Come on! If he doesn't want to take a lifetime vacation in your pants, then I don't know anything. Youngjae paused. And before you say otherwise, I know a lot of things and am not an idiot at all. Do you not know what to do about your own feelings?

Mark shook his head. I have to confess to him, don't I?

Youngjae blinked. Really? I thought I'd have to bribe that response out of you. If you know you need to confess, what are you waiting for?

I don't know where to start. I just know I have to. He could be in the beginning stages of a relationship with Eunmi for all I know. And that's why I can't stay by his side without telling him, because I can't just happily stay his friend as if nothing's wrong if he's seeing her. Especially if he's going to keep acting so sweet around me.

Does he seem as interested in that Eunmi girl as he is in you?

Not really. He pays about the same amount attention to all of us, I think. If I get a little more of his time, it's because I take a special effort compared to her or Jackson or Jaebum. And now that I think about it, Eunmi's the same way. She's equally nice to me and Jinyoung. They're just both so nice. They're perfect for each other.

Or they could just be friends if they aren't really treating each other specially.

I don't know.She has plenty of friends who are probably better company. Why would she instantly attach herself to Jinyoung if she didn't like him?

Because he's a good guy? Considering the way you are, I thought you of all people would think it's possible for men and women to just be friends. Youngjae tilted his head. Moving on. So you don't have any idea how to confess. I could help you there.

Before you say anything, I'm definitely not interested in a straight for the kill 'I like you,' Mark responded quickly. I like having a friend even if I'm having more than friendly feelings, so I'd prefer not to just kill that right away. I just want to, I don't know, become pretty sure he actually likes me back and then confess?

Then go ahead and confess. I'm telling you, that guy likes you!

I'd like something a little bit more reliable than your word.

Hey! Youngjae unfolded his legs just to deliver a kick to Mark's knee. But since you actually want to confess in some form, I'll allow it. You just want to figure out how much he really likes you, huh? Has he gotten jealous over people close to you before?

Yes, Mark realized. Not over Eunmi or anything, but over BamBam. When we went to Yugyeom's family restaurant after Jinyoung's competition, Jinyoung kind of made a point about me sitting next to him instead of BamBam. And, I think he may have jealous over you at one point.

Me?

About the fact that I have someone I'm really close to who I can speak fluently in sign language with.

Sounds promising. And he's interested in sign language because of you, too. How's he been in the class you've had together?

He's the best student by a long shot. I do give him special lessons and all, but even on top of that, he always comes to class having just learned something new. Something I haven't even taught him. He's clearly doing studying on his own time.

Honestly, how could someone like that not be at least slightly interested in you as more than just a friend?

Because, he's kind to everyone, Mark replied, frowning. And not just the regular type of kindness, the crazy dedicated kind of kindness. He'll invite Yugyeom over at the drop of a hat if he's feeling lonely, even if he has other things to do around the house. He cooked Eunmi a dish from her hometown to make her feel less homesick, even though he probably ended up messing it up. One time Jaebum lost his wallet at a restaurant, and Jinyoung paid for his entire meal out of pocket, even though Jinyoung's usually completely broke.  It may seem like he's going above and beyond for me, but he does the same for everyone. I don't know really know if it's different when it's me or not.

That would be a problem, but still, I would be amazed if he looked at anyone else the way he looks at you. That has to count for something, right?

That's what I'm hoping for.

Anyways, you should ask him out on some sort of trial date. A date that he doesn't know is a date where you can get a better glimpse about how he feels for you. If it goes anything like that concert did, you can probably ask him out right then and there. 

But where, though? What's a good date-that-is-not-obviously-a-date place where I'll be free to use my hands and phone to communicate?

Youngjae considered for a moment, then broke out into a grin. I have just the thing.

0o0

You've been in a much better mood lately, Joohyun commented as Mark helped her clean off her blackboard before the start of their Sign Language lesson. It's nice to see.

Better mood as opposed to when?

You forget that I used to student teach at your high school, so I've known you for awhile. Including the brooding teenager Mark Tuan, as well as the one... Her hands stopped for a moment. Well, you know your previous condition without me mentioning it. You were brooding the first day you started university, too. It didn't take a genius to figure out you were there against your will.

Things have gotten better since then.

I'm glad of it. You have a good face for smiling. If Jinyoung ssi weren't in this class with you, I'm sure all the girls would be badgering me after class for your number.

Mark smiled faintly. I don't think any of them have the patience for someone like me.

Good thing there's someone else who does. She gave him a knowing smile, then left to unlock the classroom door and let everyone in for the lesson.

Jinyoung, surprisingly, looked a little bit disgruntled for the duration of the lesson, which was completely out of character for him. Mark felt a moment of panic since he and Youngjae had set up their plan for today and Jinyoung wasn't looking quite up to it, but his face still lit up when Mark approached him after class, all the tiredness vanishing from his features.

Are you up for another lesson after school?, Jinyoung signed, his increased level of skill still managing to impress Mark all over again.

Actually, I wanted to do something else.

“Something else?” Jinyoung echoed out loud. “Something else with me, I hope?”

Jinyoung kept scolding him for pulling out his phone to communicate all the time, so Mark did his best to express his idea using Sign Language Jinyoung would understand. My best friend asked me to look after his dog. The dog is very big and doesn't listen, and I have trouble taking it out to walk. Can you go to the dog park with me and help?

Jinyoung processed for a minute, suddenly looking wounded. Who's the best friend?

Mark gaped, bemused and a little bit encouraged that Jinyoung had chosen to focus on that first. Choi Youngjae. I've told you about him.

Jinyoung's slightly injured expression remained. “Why would your best friend leave you with a dog too much for you to handle? That doesn't seem like a fair thing to do.”

Mark shook his head. It's because I love Fusilli.

“Eh? You love who?”

Mark finally gave in and grabbed his phone. “Fusilli. Youngjae's dog. It's a big black poodle. And it's not so much that I can't handle him, it's that animals don't listen to me.”

Jinyoung's smile finally returned. “Got it. It's probably because they can't speak Sign Language.”

“Fusilli won't even listen to me if I set my text-to-speech at the highest volume and wave it in his face. He's not really good at listening to Youngjae either, but that's because Youngjae always whispers at him instead of talking loudly.”

“I guess I could try to help out, then.” Jinyoung stood up, and instantly winced. “Ugh, not this again.”

What's wrong?

“Eunmi-ssi asked me and Yugyeom to give her skating lessons. Not ripboarding, thankfully, but roller skates... and she wasn't very good. And whenever she fell down,  she'd grab me or Yugyeom and we'd end up falling, too. My body isn't thanking me this morning.”

Mark's expression froze. He tried to keep his hands steady when he typed out his response, but already knew he wasn't doing a very good job. “Why did she want to learn how to skate?”

“Well... apparently it was a really big thing where she used to live. They used to have these after school meet ups at the skating rink in grade school, and she used to go roller skating back then. Yugyeom, too. But she hadn't done it in years and got it in her head to try it again. She knows Jaebum likes to skate and asked him to help, but since he was busy, I went instead. I hadn't expected her to be that helpless knowing that she skated all the time when she was little. Yugyeom had a good laugh about it. Turns out he'd kept all his childhood skills unlike her.”

“It'll be hard on your body to have to handle a dog as big as Fusilli,” Mark typed, feeling a bit dispirited. “Maybe you shouldn't.”

“No, no, there's only one part of me that's really sore, and trust me, it isn't my arms.” He nudged Mark towards the door. “Besides, I kind of want to go to the dog park myself. I'm a big dog lover, but I've never had one myself. I'd like to meet Fusilli.”

I hope he listens to you better than he listens to me.

That would be-- Jinyoung paused, thinking of the right sign and not coming up with it-- “bad judgment,” he said out loud. "You're probably just as trustworthy as me. Or more."

Mark's mood lifted a little. Jinyoung's encouraging behavior hadn't disappeared, so either he was a bit of a flirt or wasn't aware he was doing it. The second option seemed a bit more likely, but for the sake of recounting everything to Youngjae later, Mark was trying to keep an open mind.

The two of them walked to Mark's house, where Fusilli was being watched over by Mark's parents temporarily. Though Youngjae wasn't actually out of town like he was pretending to be, Mark had fed the same story to his parents for the sake of convenience. Not that they minded having Fusilli around, provided the area of the living room which housed their instruments was gated off.

“Oh, isn't he cute!” Jinyoung exclaimed as soon as he saw Fusilli. The dog bounded towards the two of them, long tongue lolling out and tail wagging. He gave Jinyoung a few tentative sniffs before giving his hand a hearty . Jinyoung rubbed his head, causing Fusilli's back leg to kick in contentment.

He likes you, Mark said, grinning. He also slid his hand underneath Fusilli's chin to scratch it.

“I like him, too,” Jinyoung said. “Dogs are the best. So affectionate and loyal.”

This dog is only loyal to whoever's holding his rawhide bone.

“I just hope I can manage him well. He is on the big side.”

Mark pulled out Fusilli's leash and hooked it to his collar, then passed it over to Jinyoung. Fusilli, realizing he was about to go on an a W-A-L-K, immediately tried to make a break for it, but Jinyoung kept a firm grip on his leash and started them off at a gentler pace. Mark shook his head in bewilderment; whenever he walked Fusilli with Youngjae, Fusilli would instantly try to take any moment he needed to use his hand to sign something to run off after a squirrel.

The three of them trotted down the streets together to the dog park, where Fusilli was immediately bombarded with other dogs who wanted to meet him. Fusilli took all the attention in stride, his tongue still dangling comically out of his mouth and tail wagging eagerly. A few of the dog walkers stopped to talk to Jinyoung and Mark-- mainly Jinyoung, who actually talked back-- and though Mark was never opposed to anyone praising Fusillii, he was still happy when Jinyoung finally pulled them away to the walking path so they could make a perimeter around the park.

“Have you been friends with Youngjae long?” Jinyoung asked as they started their circuit.

Since I was thirteen, after I moved to Korea. We met in school. He's like me... he has a speaking problem.

“Mute as well?”

Mark shook his head. Jinyoung wouldn't know the word for stutter, so he tried to explain it using roundabout expressions. He has... broken speech? He couldn't talk well since he was little. He was embarrassed by it, and barely spoke for years.

“Stammer?” Jinyoung asked. Mark nodded. “So you helped him to open up a little, I'm guessing?”

Mark shrugged. More like the other way around, Youngjae talks a lot for the most part as long as its sign language. We both used it, so I didn't make him speak out loud. He had a good personality on his own, or an enthusiastic one. His difficulties just got in the way for awhile.

“So he had a hard time, you're saying. Was it like that for you?”

Mark blinked in surprise. Yes. You saw how much I didn't want to be friends. Most people who try that wind up getting tired of how much work it takes. And I'm not much of an easy person to get along with to begin with.

“You just said you think you're hard to get along with it? I thought that was just because you didn't like me.”

No. I didn't dislike you. I wasn't happy about you hitting me, but I didn't hate you. I just thought that you would make things difficult.

“Make things hard for you?” Jinyoung clarified. When Mark nodded, he asked, “And did I?”

In a different way than I was thinking, Mark said.

“Hmmm?” Jinyoung looked at him curiously. “Well, I hope you didn't mind me pressing the point. I wouldn't have insisted if you absolutely hated it, but I wanted to be close... at first because you looked lost when I saw you. And I didn't want you to be.”

It's not your job to help everyone.

“Are you accusing me of helping too much? I don't help everyone. Or else I'd be a lot more busy than I am. I just do it for the people I care about, right?”

And you cared about me before you even knew me? Mark asked, looking doubtful though still feeling pleased.

“Um, it's more like I have good foresight about the kind of people I get along with. And about you...” He trailed off. “I don't think there's anything wrong in wanting to make someone who is unhappy a little bit better. Even if it is only a little bit.”

More than a little bit, Mark replied, turning his eyes away for a moment. Thank you. When he finally looked back at Jinyoung, he was greeted with a warm smile.

After doing several a few more laps around the park, Jinyoung pulled them over to a bench where they could rest. “God, it's still so sore,” he groaned when he plopped down. “I think maybe I should just give up skating in general since I'm so bad. I could focus more on learning signing if I did that. I mean, I just spent that whole conversation talking out loud, not even making an effort at all.”

Your hands were busy, Mark said, looking down at Fusilli, who was panting at their feet.

“Still, I should put it into practice more than I am...”

I don't mind. You've gotten so much better at understanding me, which is more important. And I like hearing other people's voices. Really. I can hear just fine, and I'm silent enough that I don't like it when everyone else around me is, too.

“You said you don't like too much silence? I guess that does make sense. But still, I'd like to talk to you both ways.”

That's fine, too. I do like watching people's hands. Yours are really nice. He flushed a little at this confession.

“Really? You think my hands are nice?” Jinyoung looked down at them. “Aren't they just average?”

Better than you think. I would know. I'm always looking at people's hands.

“If you say so, then.” He curled his free hand back on his lap. “But still, when I'm not pulling Fusilli around, I'll try and not focus so much on relying on just my voice. When I first started talking to you and you communicated with me mostly using your phone, I came to think of that as your voice. But now I think more of your voice being in your hands. You don't even have to say anything for me to your hear your tones or inflections or anything. It's in the way you move your hands and it's in your face and all in the air around you. It's like everything you are is your voice, and it's...” He trailed off, lifting his hands. Sweet?

Mark had to assume that Jinyoung had used the wrong sign to descibe it. Sweet how?

Jinyoung shook his head. “If I could explain it so easily, I would.”

Oh. Mark stared down at his lap. His heartbeat was behaving erratically, but it felt more comfortable than when he'd first realized his feelings. Here I am, on a kind-of date with the person I like, and we're having this kind of conversation. He may just feel the same way about me, if his words mean anything. He really might. Someone like me may just be lucky enough to have this kind of happiness.

A gust of wind blew past them. The fall was getting much colder, and both Jinyoung and Mark hadn't thought to wear gloves. Or in Mark's case, he'd thought it would make his gestures harder for Jinyoung to read. Jinyoung's jacket didn't have any pockets, so after a few more torrents of wind attacked them, he quickly tucked his hands underneath his forearms.

Cold? Mark signed. This kind of weather always comes out of nowhere, right after a warm spell. If I had any gloves, I'd share them with you, but since I don't... He took his free hand and gently tugged Jinyoung's arm to get to his right hand. He wound their fingers together and slid their two hands underneath the hem of his coat, warming them against its fleece lining. Jinyoung stared at him, wide-eyed and flushing.

“Don't you need your hands free?” he asked quietly.

Mark held tighter to his hand in response. His hand was probably already getting a little sweaty, but he still liked the way it felt against Jinyoung's. Jinyoung held his eyes, then smiled slightly. “I won't let go, then,” he said quietly.

With Marks's hands occupied, they fell into silence, but Mark didn't really mind this restriction on his ability to speak. It wasn't as if he was being prevented from saying anything he needed to or fighting against misunderstanding as he was used to; it was more like it kept him from saying unnecessary things that would make the moment less than it was. He liked that he could just sit with Jinyoung, and it didn't have to be uncomfortable or awkward or even too weighted with unresolved feelings. It simply felt good. He hadn't felt that way about anything or anyone in a long time.

They stayed that way for a good handful of minutes, up until Fusilli rose from his rest and began wagging his tail and staring them down. “Looks like he's ready to go back,” Jinyoung said, getting up. To Mark's surprise, he didn't let go of his hand. “They're still freezing,” Jinyoung said, noticing the direction of Mark's gaze. “Do you mind?”

Mark shook his head. He didn't think he could say anything particularly coherent after that anyways, so he didn't mind the excuse to hold onto Jinyoung a little long either. Mark tucked both their hands into the deep pockets of his coat so that they would stay even warmer and they wouldn't receive weird looks from the other dog walkers. Some skinship was allowable, but this would definitely make it look like they were on a date. Which they may have been. Mark wasn't sure. He'd arranged it with those kinds of intentions, but he had no idea how Jinyoung looked at the whole thing. Probably the same as you, if he's holding your hand, Mark's internal Youngjae-voice pointed out. Just try to explain that one away.

Well, good for you, Youngjae, Mark thought to himself. I'm not interested in explaining it away. Not today.

“Hey, Mark, you're going to stay in Seoul, right?," Jinyoung asked. "To work in your father's shop after you graduate?”

He nodded.

“That's what I thought. I want to stay here, too. I don't think I can go back to my hometown at this point. I don't exactly want to, but I wish this could have happened without me losing my family to bring it about. Even so... I was hoping you'd still want to see me, even when we're done with university. I'm sure we'll both be busy and all, but I think it would be horrible if you disappeared on me anyways.”

Mark made the 'OK' sign with his free hand. If I can have your heart, neither of us will have to disappear, he thought longingly. Should I tell him that? Am I just wasting our time by not saying anything until I'm sure? Especially since I'm feeling so much more certain now. Everything about Jinyoung is so kind, but this is more than kindness. Whatever this is is something entirely different.

Jinyoung grinned. “Good. I think it would nice to be together for as long as you've been friends with Youngjae. I think I'll finally feel less guilty about hurting you when we first met if that happens.”

Funny, Mark thought to himself, smiling. I don't really mind that all that much anymore. If that was how I got to meet him.

When they arrived at Mark's house, his parents invited Jinyoung over to stay for dinner. After Jinyoung texted his gramps to say he would be late coming back, Mark ushered him to the kitchen table and told him to wait while he helped his mother cook.

“Oh my god, Yugyeom and BamBam are absolutely going to kill me when they find out about all this food I'm getting,” Jinyoung said, grinning.

“Are BamBam and Yugyeom your friends?” Mark's mother asked. “Should we make extra for leftovers?”

“No need. If you do that, they may actually try to move here.”

She glanced at Mark, her eyes glittering. Really, all these lovely friends of yours. You should invite them all over some time. Youngjae, Jinyoung, BamBam and Yugyeom, and the other two you met- Jackson and Jaebum?

Most of them are Jinyoung's friends.

What does it matter who introduced you if they're your friends, too, now? I'm sure Youngjae goon would be happy to meet new people, too. She patted his cheek. 

After they'd served dinner and finished eating, Jinyoung raved about the meal, and Fusilli determinedly tried to snatch up some of the leftovers from underneath the table. Mark had half wondered if Jinyoung would go back home, but he lingered to help clean up and went with Mark up to his room as well.

“Your first orchestra concert is coming up soon, isn't it?” he asked, doing his best to sign along with everything he was saying. “I'm invited, right?”

Eunmi-ssi didn't already invite you? She was going to do a dance performance to their selections from the A Midsummer's Night Dream ballet.

“She did, and she's also inviting Yugyeom along, but I was hoping you'd at least ask, too. BamBam told me you invited him. And you invited Jaebum, too.”

That's because he asked me like twenty-five times if Youngjae was going. I think he wants to meet him.

“So Youngjae's going, too?”

Don't act grumpy! You're obviously coming, too, aren't you?

“I don't know. You do want me to come, right?”

Of course! You still haven't heard me play, yet.

“Do I have to wait for the concert to hear you?” Jinyoung pointed to the corner of Mark's room. “Your grand piano is donstairs, I know, but you do have a keyboard right there.”

I haven't practiced.

“You practice every day at school! Come on, I really, really want to hear you!”

Fine. Mark crawled over to raise up his keyboard's stand. He pulled out the sheet music for a Rachmaninoff piece he was practicing for his lessons and was just about to start playing when Jinyoung stopped him.

“Um, could I make a special request?”

I guess?

“I was wondering if you'd let me hear Aveu Passionné from the Tchaikovsky concert again? If it isn't too much trouble?”

But that's for viola, isn't it?

"Right...” Jinyoung looked a little disappointed, so Mark decided the piano accompaniment part woud have to be good enough. He didn't have the score, but he'd listened to the track enough after finding out Jinyoung loved it to play it as true as he could.

Mark his lips. On the other hand, could he play that in front of Jinyoung without going overboard? The emotions of the song overpowered Jinyoung even on a regular day, so what would it be like performing it in front of him, and seeing those emotions right on the face of the person he was falling in love with?

Guess I'll find out, he thought, settling his fingers in front of the keys. Trying to keep his breath steady, they reached for the lower keys, and he began to play. The piece usually had a moody feel to it, like it was conveying a destructive passion, one that could wash over the heart and drown it, but he tried to weave a brightness into his rendition, bringing more fire than melancholy into his own understanding of passion. The passion he expressed would burn rather than drown, he thought. Maybe there was a chance it could leave everything in ashes, but there was also just as much of a chance that its flame would keep forever, burning eternally.

He met Jinyoung's eyes when he held the last note. He wasn't sure of everything he saw there, but there was definitely something different in the way he looked at Mark than what had been there before. It was very close to the time he'd caught Mark looking at him after they had both listened to the very same song together at the concert event. But this time he wasn't reacting in surprise to Mark's own intense gaze. It was Mark's own passionate confession he was looking at, and the reciprocal fire in his eyes was burning promisingly in response.

“You really are impressive,” Jinyoung murmured as Mark stepped back from his keyboard. “I don't know how you do it so easily.”

Do what?

Jinyoung waved his hand helplessly. “I don't know. I just don't know. But you make everything feel like-”

Jinyoung paused when they both heard a repetitive thunk on the door. Mark stood up and pulled it open, and Fusilli barged in, sniffing everything in sight. Jinyoung sighed and reached out to scratch his head when Fusilli approached him, looking for attention. “Hey, buddy.”

Horrible timing, Mark thought crossly. Youngjae will not thank you when he hears.

But still, he had what he needed. Assurance. There was definitely something going on in Jinyoung's heart for him, and even if it wasn't at the same degree as Mark's feelings yet, it was enough that something so seemingly impossible was there to begin with. All that remained was simply telling him that there was love in his own heart, and that he wanted them to be together. Past even the total of eight years he had known Youngjae. As many years as possible. As many years as his passion burned, strong and constant, like a fire in his heart.