REVIEWING: Homewreckers
Author: TwiceAzeline
Reviewed by: chickenrawr

title and graphics: 8.5/10

Awesome title. Very attention-grabbing. I have never stumbled upon this term until now so I find it rather interesting. It made me very eager to read your story.

Your poster is also amazing. The colour composition exhibits a sort of mysterious and ominous atmosphere, and I particularly like the misty-like and smokey-like effects on the photographs of your characters.

description: 8.8/10

I love it. It's really fascinating when an author sees a fault or an issue in the real world and they attempt to present their arguments and sentiments through literature. Your description has not only made me more eager to read your story, you've made me extremely curious about your plot and characters. It was succinct and concise. You didn't reveal too much and you didn't reveal too little either. You had me hooked.

characters: 9.0/10

Made me speechless. Your characterisation were simply astounding. 

Younghee, Baekhyun and Yeonri were all very complex characters with many complicated layers. They had their good points and their bad points. They had their good sides and bad sides. 

I love the fact that you had made them as human as possible, and I think you did an incredible job with bringing them to life.

Younghee was crazy, in a good way. It was very engaging to see her progressively change from a thoughtful and caring girl into a bitter and vindictive individual. I thought she was the most interesting character out of the three.

Baekhyun was the character who I related the most. Parents with seemingly unreachable expectations and feeling extremely stressed and overwhelmed by it. Despite how 'perfect' he appears to be, I thought he was a coward, and although all three characters are at fault here, I think that it was mostly his fault for leading them into the messy situation they were in.

Yeonri was the typical rich kid. She gets what she wants and she is spoiled and pampered by her parents. I think she may have been a little bit possessive of Baekhyun, and really, what she felt for him was probably the same as Younghee. Nevertheless, I like how she turns out in the end.

plot and flow of the story: 28.2/30

The pacing wasn't too fast, nor was it too slow. The flow was very good. On the other hand, there wasn't anything surprising in the plot, and I found it rather predictable. Your characters compensated for it though, and it was intriguing to see you diverge from the normal happy ending cliché.

grammar and writing style: 7.9/10

There are several mistakes here and there throughout your story. However, your style of writing makes it fairly easy to overlook.

Here are a few things I want to point out.

• Wording and Phrasing

Clear and easy to understand. It's also very nice to see that you have a wide range of vocabulary. You utilise them quite well too. However, there are some words and phrases that made me slightly cringe when I read them. So be very careful.

For example, your use of the words such as inherent and pretentious.

'I had this inherent urge to strangle her.' (Chapter 1)

I don't think you used the right words for this sentence. Inherent means fundamental, intrinsic... something that is basic to something/someone. For example, you can talk about the inherent qualities of a person. So if a person was temperamental in nature, then it is inherent because it is basic— a part that makes him who he is.

'Soon after, however, I regained my composure and shone a pretentious grin at her.' (Chapter 1)

I see many people use this word incorrectly because of how similar it is to the word pretend. Pretentious means making something/someone look as if they're of very great importance, usually for the means of impressing others.

Phrases like, 'Emitting zealous laughter, I yelled back,' (Chapter 3) and 'An inquiry was released,' (Chapter 1) were awkward too. The former could've been easily replaced with 'Laughing enthusiastically,' whilst I thought that there was really no need for the latter. It's good to sound sophisticated in your story, but please keep it simple.

And of course, there are other minor errors as well, such as, 'The indignance and fury were building inside my mind, like a bomb ready to kill.' (Chapter 2) and '"Lee Younghee! You are the sinner!"' (Chapter 1)

It should be 'Indignation and fury were building...' and '"It's Lee Younghee! The sinner!"' respectively. The word 'indignance' does not exist in the dictionary and "'You are the sinner!"' just doesn't sound right to me.

Like I said, this can be easily overlooked, but I think it would be nice to simplify a few of your sentences and not make them too overly complicated.

creativity and originality: 18.2/20

Despite being one of those typical romance fictions, the elements you've incorporated in 'Homewreckers' makes it stand out from the rest. You were able to effectively show the darker aspects of life, love and relationships. One of my favourite things in your story was how you portrayed the destruction of innocence and the difficulties many teenagers experience through adulthood. 

enjoyment: 8.5/10

'Homewreckers' was definitely refreshing to read. It was different and distinct in its own way. I read through it in one sitting because of how truly engaging it was. It's short, but it is definitely one of those stories that leaves behind a great mark to its readers.

total mark: 89.1/100

Reminder: Please do not forget to credit the shop! Thank you for requesting!