The snow fell lightly as he walked in the lonesome street allowing him to hear the crunch of every footstep he made, causing his anticipation to increase. Youngjae was on his way to his friend’s house where he planned to let his bottled up feeling pour out, with the hope that she would accept them with open arms rather than it hitting a stone wall where they would shatter into pieces he was afraid to clean up. Youngjae felt as if he needed to confess before the New Year continued, knowing that he may be able to start anew if needed with the a new year. He didn’t live far from her allowing him to see the house in the distance; Youngjae desperately wished that the distance had been longer making him take smaller steps but to his dismay he had reached her front door in no time. He stood there staring at the familiar door that now seemed to be the door to his end, and to some extent it did. This confession decided whether his heart would stay intact or crumble.

            He finally found the courage to knock on the door and once he heard footsteps approaching the feeling of dread washed over him but unfortunately it had been too late as the door opened revealing his crush’s surprised expression to seeing him. He was terrified but the soft smile she had, replacing the previous expression, eased his nerves.

            “Hey Youngjae. Why don’t you come in?” She said opening the door wider but only for Youngjae to remain where he stood.

            “No it’s fine. I don’t plan on staying long” He said shaking his hands feeling more nervous as he was soon to confess.

            She stared at him confused but brushed it off thinking it must have been a quick conversation “Okay then. So what was the important ‘thing’ you needed to tell me” she asked leaning towards him trying to ignore the wind that blew against her exposed skin causing her to shiver.

            “…I like you” Youngjae finally confessed anxious to see a hopefully positive reaction but to his dismay he was only faced by a sorrowful expression.

            “I’m sorry but I can’t accept your confession” She stammered out avoiding his gaze knowing how disappointed he must have looked

            Youngjae felt confused and wanting to know the reason he asked “Wait why?”

            “Because, just I can’t” She vaguely explained hoping he would leave it at that but due to this poor reason Youngjae felt anger and confusion rise in him replacing the sadness he had felt earlier.

            He was hurt by the unfair justification she had given him thinking that, that he was only worth that much to her. “What kind of explanation is that? Don’t you think I deserve to at least know the reason behind your rejection?” He exclaimed getting riled up causing the girl to be taken aback. She has never seen Youngjae this angry being that he was always the one to remain calm and composed in many circumstances. Seeing him like that made her realize how much she had hurt him and that he deserved more than what she had given him.

            She broke and finally gave the true pretext but it did not ease the pain but only made his wounds sting more “I can’t because this is the exact same way my past relationship started and that path is one I don’t ever want to go back on”

            He gave out a spiteful laugh paired with a smirk, Youngjae was more than astonished by her logic behind her rejection. “So you’re basing your decision off past experiences? You do realize I’m not the same guy right?” He asked covered in both annoyance and hurt that she would think of him as if she hadn’t known him.

            “I do but I can’t risk the chances of getting hurt again” She stated trying to justify her actions but truthfully she knew it was not right for her to compare him to a guy she had become estranged to. Youngjae felt emotionally drained after hearing her, he knew that she had a right to be weary but did that mean he didn’t have a say? Did he have to pay for another man’s doing?

            “But you can risk me getting hurt because the assumption is I’m him” He mumbled as the feeling of sadness washed upon him once again, looking away he felt tears stinging his eyes. She cringed at his words knowing that she made a mistake but fear kept her at bay from accepting his feelings.

            “Youngjae…” She barely whispered reaching out towards him to provide some sort of comfort but she only grabbed air as Youngjae took a step back finally looking up at her, still holding back the tears that were fighting harder than he would have expected. Her heart pained as she gazed upon the boy she broke knowing that he felt more pain than she could imagine

            “No, you know what? I get it sorry for wasting your time” Youngjae said with spite leaking out amoungst his words. He turned around not giving her a second thought as he put on his hood hiding the tears that he had been able to break free from their jail.

            During the walk back to the dorm anger had left his system all together leaving him back to his regular mindset with a hint of pain lingering inside. Youngjae understood to an extent where she was coming from but understanding hadn’t eased the hurt he felt and instead lessened only the anger he felt towards her. The silence around him never helped to decrease the over thinking he had been doing during the walk but as he neared the dorm all thoughts left his mind leaving him feeling numb.

            “I guess we both been down the road now, both left to be alone on New Year’s Day” Youngjae mumbled to himself shaking his heading trying to forget as if it could work, but like they say nothing keeps you more aware of the past than the struggle to forget it.