‘It’s already winter huh? Where did the time go?’  Mark thought as snow started to fall upon the ground he walked on. As the summer weather was replaced with one filled with chilly winds, Mark’s thoughts visited the cherished memories of her more frequently.

      The cold air brushed against his exposed skin as he walked aimlessly around his neighborhood with no objective or destination in mind. He sighed at the sight of snow as the puff of his breath became visible; he lifted up his scarf higher as he continued on his journey through the quiet street. Mark gazed up at the night sky that was illuminated by the Christmas lights that hung outside and seemed to burn brighter than the few stars that lay among the dark.

     “How unfair, to make it seem like I can finally reach the stars” He whispered to himself as he stared at the bright Christmas lights that impersonated the stars above. It’s been more than a year since he had last seen her, but his feeling for her still resides within him.

      Mark was never one to believe in fate especially when it came to love but when it came to her she always managed to challenge his views and up until now he refuses to believe in such hope – because if so his fated love had slipped through his fingers long ago and there was no way to bring it back.

      The beginning of winter was the time where his pain seemed to resonate louder and he knew the reason behind it – she had first entered his life during the winter season. In the beginning Mark didn’t pay any attention to her but as he started to get to know her he had fallen for her bright and outgoing nature, one that resembled his best-friend’s. It took him awhile to find the courage to confess but once he did it was as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders, she didn’t say yes at first but then she agreed causing Mark to feel a type of happiness that could not be described. They were happy and it was seen through their smiles. Before Mark knew it he had found himself saying the first three words that he worried wouldn’t be returned but was, and at that moment the happiness that was once visible within their smiles found home in their eyes.

      Every time that memory played Mark wondered if he hadn’t said those words would the pain still exist but he then he remembers that words that are held within would kill any man before he realizes it.

      It had been a few years into their relationship before the start of their end hit them both. She was diagnosed with a terminal illness and was said to have only a month left to live. Once they found out Mark felt like he was being deprived of the love he had only be given a chance to hold for a short while, but she made it seem like everything was okay. He felt selfish for being in so much more pain when she was the one being robbed of something far greater, but he couldn’t help to want the girl that brought joy to him to stay with him forever. In the beginning they both were able to maintain a positive attitude and help each other have the best time before the end came. During the start Mark would have been lying if he said he was okay because he was far from it, the only thing holding him together was the girl that was fighting a battle that she was not prepared for.

      The pain she felt internally began to become visible as the once shining girl started to dim. The winter season descended upon them once more but instead of bringing joy it brought the feeling of a heavy-heart as both sat together inside the hospital room in silence. Neither of them knew what to say, they could only share smiles filled with bittersweet memories of the past as they watched the finish line near. She was so tired and Mark could tell, the truth was they were both tired of putting up a fight against a force that was already destined to prosper. They never intended to give up and they didn’t but they never fought either, they had reached a plateau that neither wanted to leave.

      In that room, Mark would watch her sleep trying to imprint her image in his mind in fear that one day he would forget and she would be forever faceless within his recollection. He was frustrated having to watch her suffer as he sat back and watched not being able to do anything to ease the pain. The last days with her were ones filled with words that contained all the feeling they had felt in that one month. She was smiling as she spoke to him trying to comfort him as her time lessened, he told her how much she meant to him and how she was a blessing to him and she did the same as she squeezed his had with the minimal amount of strength left. Before she left him she promised to keep his heart warm as she will always reside within it.

      Mark snapped out of his thoughts and had refocused his attention to the street in front of him not wanting to allow himself to indulge in the sorrowful memories but the tears he had fought to keep hidden had won and now was trickling down his cheek as he paused at the corner of the street   

     ‘Why is it so cold?’ He wondered as he placed a hand over his chest looking up at the sky as he stood at the corner.

     “Didn’t you promise to keep me warm?” Mark asked knowing he wouldn’t get a response, though a small part of him expected an answer but he was only met by the silence that taunted him. Mark gave a short laugh shaking his head slightly at his question before returning to his walk.

      He knew he should be use to the silence but the feeling of her warmth always gave him the slightest hope that maybe this time it’d be different.