Chapter Seven ~
Power off.“Um...J?” I chuckle, choosing a random letter. Was it really that random? That answer was only for me to know.
J? Not L? My mind is in confusion at his answer. Maybe..maybe he wasn’t L. Why couldn’t I just ask him? What, then be a random girl who talks to strangers online and probably is going crazy? Oh wait, he already knows I’m crazy since I just had an episode. I bite my lip, staring at my shoe, placing a smile on my face before looking up.
“J for Ji Eun?” I laugh, joking around trying not to be awkward. Chill, Ji Eun.
“Ah…” He chuckles with me, though I can tell that was far off the mark. It was definitely somebody else he had in mind.
“Aw, you have a girl you’re sweet on, hm?” I say the words, hopeful that he would push them away. I don’t know why I was disappointed...I just was.
Stop being such a basic girl, Ji Eun.
I bite my lip, mixed feelings overwhelming me as I watch him. I was so sure he was L, yet, there was so much doubt in me. I was too afraid to tell him I was IU, because, well...what if I was wrong? And he probably doesn’t want to know who I am anyways. Still, every time we talked on Line, he was always so warm, so friendly, so nice...so like a friend that I had always had. Somebody I had relied on for ages, not just for a few months with my inner thoughts. Who was the mysterious L513 that I could feel so comfortable with? Why had we connected immediately?
Why…
Why did I have feelings for him?
I roll onto my left shoulder, glancing at my phone which was on the bedside table. Three twenty-five...I couldn’t sleep at all, which meant there must be something tugging at the back of my mind. I think back to the conversation with Ji Eun.
“Nah, I don’t really talk to that many girls,” I make up a random response, wondering why I was internally panicking at that question. Who was I trying to hide? I glance at her, not sure how to read it. Had she even heard me? At that moment, a vibration on the couch startles the both of us, and I check the device in my hand quickly. Ah, it must be her phone.
“Hello?”
“We’re going now, come down.”
“Okay..” She hangs up, turning her face towards me. “Um, we’re heading out so guess I should go down...It was nice to meet you!” Ji Eun starts to leave but I stand up quickly, lightly touching her shoulder.
“Hey, let’s exchange numbers, it was nice meeting you too,” I hand her my phone, a friendly smile on my face.
“Uh, sure,” She returns it and typed her number in quickly, naming herself. I glance at the contact as she hands the phone back, raising my eyebrows.
“Jean?”
“Oh, yeah, I’m from South Korea - well I guess that’s sort of obvious - but Ji Eun is my Korean name...My parents are obviously not my real ones, they’re my foster parents so they call me Jean mostly...only Ji Eun when I’m in trouble,” She lightly laughs, and I look at her curiously.
“Really? Hey, I’m adopted too,” I grin slightly, my teeth revealed. “Do you know which orphanage?”
Her eyes light up, as if she had found somebody that truly understood her. Well, I could relate. Not many people besides other orphans could know what it felt like to have no family except those that had adopted you. Well, in my case, my foster parents had adopted me but it looked like Ji Eun’s hadn’t…
“Well, I guess you have to get going, hm?” I motion towards the downstairs where I heard rustling going on, probably from people bundling up and placing on their shoes.
“Oh, yeah...Well, maybe we’ll see each other again,” Ji Eun smiles at me, and I nod, walking downstairs with her.
I toss and turn, ending up on my back, hands behind my head. I bore my eyes through the ceiling, hearing the redundant ticks of the clock. My thoughts are consumed by her question - what’s your favorite letter?
Why did I choose J?
Why not L - the one I used online? Well, I mean that was obvious - she’d find out my identity if she ever found one of my videos. My online persona would only be revealed to me.
So why J. Why was it the first letter that popped into my mind?
And why…
why was Jung Soo Jung the reason I chose it?
“Alright, let’s do this,” I say out loud, trying to pump myself up. I focus hard on the sheet music laying on the bed in front of me, strumming a few chords on my guitar. Wah, the lyrics were definitely heartfelt. ‘When I think of you, tears fall’ I pause on that phrase, thinking. Who was he talking about? That girl who Myungsoo probably had his eyes on? Wait, wait, no- Ji Eun, stop associating stuff you don’t know about. Focus. I continue to learn the lyrics and melody, trying out a few different harmonies while listening to Myungsoo’s recording. By the end of the day, I have half of it fully memorized and the other half was getting there. Still, it was progress. I glance at the alarm clock on my bedside table, widening my eyes when I see it’s already past eleven. Oh, crap. Calculus homework. I totally forgot. Rushing out my backpack, I find the assignment and steadily start working on the problems, wanting to hit myself for not remembering about it.
L513: Hey, how’s the music going? Have any revisions?
IU: no it’s awesome! You’re srsly talented ;o
L513: nah, it just came to me one day and i have no idea how it happened xD
I pause, wondering if I should ask.
IU: what was your inspiration?
L513: mm...something in the past - I’ve always felt that I’ve been leaving people or people have left me. I guess this song was just a form of me regretting that? Hahaha
He ended with laughter, but I knew that wasn’t how he really felt. L must be lonely, I think to myself, a thoughtful disposition coming over.
IU: aw - but it’s not like your life is over, hm? I’m sure you’ll find people around you that will always stick by yur side
L513: like you?
A soft blush comes over my face reading those two words.
IU: yah stop making jokes - i have to work on calc hw so help me out here
L513: lolol what’s the problem? I took it last year
He took it last year? My mind skips to Myungsoo, how he was a senior. Maybe, maybe it was - no, again these thoughts had invaded my mind. There were countless 18 year olds around the world, and there was no way to be sure that L even lived in my country. I sigh, looking at the problem I was stuck on. Math wasn’t my strong suit, especially since it was the perfect class to fall asleep in.
IU: alright i’ll send a picture
“Jean,” the teacher calls me up while handing back the daily quizzes, a rare smile on his face. “The only hundred I graded! What happened for you to suddenly do so well?”
“Mm...I guess this unit just really clicked with me,” I fake a laugh, turning around and internally celebrating. The tutoring last night from L had really helped, and I had been surprised at how smart he was.
IU: hundred on the quiz ~ thank you ahaha
L513: nah i didn’t do anything - congrats tho!!
IU: :DDD no, you did a lot :)
L513: anytime
I smile at my phone, tucking it away in my pocket as I see Sungyeol approach. “What’s u-” I widen my eyes as I see a smile on his face as he walks towards me, acting like a small kid.
“Yah, yah, you’re scaring me, stop,” I back away, turning around and running down the hall to escape from him. He must have something planned since Sungyeol never, never looked like that. When we both escape into the courtyard, I slow down, out of breath. “Why are you looking like that? You better not be asking me-”
“Do me a favor, Myungsooo,” Sungyeol whines with pity eyes, tugging on my shirt. I slightly wince at the sight of his friend attempting aegyo, smacking his hand away.
“No, why should I?” narrowing my eyes, I wonder what Sungyeol would ask this time.
“Pleaseee, I need your help a lot, Myungsoo,” Sungyeol hangs onto my arm like a whiny child, not giving up.
“Tell me, and maybe I’ll think about it.” It must be exasperating to be a parent.
“You know Eunji, the girl who I know - I know I like her -”
“Yes the lucky 1000th girl that you’ve decided to hit on,” I sarcastically interrupt, knowing the conversation wasn’t going somewhere. Probably something like-
“Please will you go on a double date with me?”
I pause, replaying the words in my head. At first, it sounded like he wanted to go on a date with me, which..would be awkward. The second meaning would imply that I had a date to go with...who?.
“A double date with me and myself?” a skeptical look comes between the two of us before Sungyeol continues.
“No! Eunji said she could convince her friend to come as well! The one that was going to come to the party but couldn’t! It’s just, Eunji’s parents don’t let her go anywhere alone, especially with a guy so...ya know, double date!”
I sigh, walking away. “No way, get some other guy, Sungyeol - I’m not doing this.”
“C’monnn Myungsoo - a bro to another bro, am I right?”
“I am not your bro, and seriously reconsidering calling you as my friend.”
There’s a silence between us and I turn around to see Sungyeol scrolling through his phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Finding Soo Jung’s number, telling her how incredibly smitten somebod-”
“Sungyeol!” I lunge to grab his phone, receiving an amused expression as he holds it high above my head. Why did he have to be 6 ft?
“Well, well, well, looks like my conclusion was right? How...interesting…” The mischevious glint in his eyes terrified me as I knew how far Sungyeol could go. Fine, I would do it.
“Text me where and time” I shoot him a glare. “And this is the last time.”
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