To reply, or not to reply.

Myungsoo held his phone right after he woke up, unable to comprehend what he is going to do. He gazed at the wall, trying to find the answer to his confusion.

“What is wrong with me?” he murmured to himself, eyes glued at the wall. “Very well, I will just pretend like nothing happened.” He shrugged his shoulder while tossing his phone onto the mattress and got up, getting himself ready for today.

Eight hours, and still no replies.

Soojung had become fidgety all day long, her eyes never stop peeking at her phone, in case if the cold guy replied her message.

No messages, still.

The girl’s concentration had been altered and it bugged her eonnis, especially their trainer, and it made him snapped at Soojung at last.

“Jung Soojung, keep your eyes off of your phone and let’s get serious.” The trainer glared, maybe secretly hoping that his glare could burn the phone. Soojung jumped on her spot and blinked, averting her gaze from her phone.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” She bowed numerous times as she flashed an apologetic smile. She could feel her eonnis’ eyes on her back yet she ignored it, trying her best to concentrate this time.

Eight hours, and still contemplating.

Myungsoo did the daily practice well, but his expression could tell anybody if his mind was not in place—which resulted in his hyungs trying to make him focused again. His gaze often wandered around, and he almost stumbled in the middle of his dance practice. The day seemed to be too long for him and when the practice finally ended, he escaped to the bathroom, wanting to freshen both his body and his mind by taking a shower.

“Myungsoo, you’re doomed,” he verbalized his worry out loud as he let the water running on his body. “And you’re not going to let this happen any further, are you?” the male let out an inquiry while staring at himself on the mirror. “You’re not going to let anyone get past your barrier.”

Fifteen minutes later, he came out from the bathroom, all fresh and ready to go home. He dried his hair first, laughing at his original curly hair. His fans had known about it since long time ago, yet he preferred to get his hair straight because going out with curly hair seemed too funny and did not match his image that was built by the agency. Myungsoo combed it for the sake of neatness and went to the dining room, joining the others for a late dinner before going home.

However, as he tried to appear as nonchalant as he could, the boys could not help to stare at him, especially when he was finally seated on the chair, and the first question rolled off Dongwoo’s tongue.

“Myungsoo, what is wrong with you?”

Myungsoo shifted on his chair, concealing his uneasiness of being asked about such things. He was always okay, was not he?

“I’m okay, hyung. Don’t worry.” The male responded before he fed himself. He tried to enjoy the meal, but he was sure he would not if they planned to bombard him with questions.

“You’re so bad at lying.” This time, Hoya jokingly teased. Myungsoo only let out a brief chuckle and continued eating in ease—honestly he was not in ease at all.

“Aren’t I?” Myungsoo flashed a grin after he swallowed all his foods, attempting to make himself appear cool and unaware of the whispers circulating around the dining room. Of course, he could hear it all—they deliberately raised their voice, turning it into a loud whisper—but he was too tired to respond and finished his dinner as soon as he could.

“Did you fall in love?” Sungyeol also tried to joke around, but the questions successfully made the younger male choked. He abruptly gulped his water and stared at Sungyeol in disbelief.

“Impossible, Yeol.” He scoffed while his heart was questioning himself, when did the last time he fall head over heels for a girl?

Since then, Myungsoo always brought his keychain everywhere, although, in silence, everyone could tell he was proud of having it. He hung it on his school bag, and he protected it with all his might so nobody could steal it away from it. It was the most precious gift he had ever received from her mother, thus the pride. He also did not forget to show it to his childhood crush, although it took some time because they were not in the same class again back then. He had to write a small memo and stuck it on her locker, and they met on the school playground after the school ended.

“Yoojung, how are you?” Myungsoo asked out of courtesy, although a part of him missed the girl due to the infrequency of seeing her.

“I’m fine. Glad to see you again, Myungsoo.” She mused, both edges of her lips tugged into a contented smile upon seeing the boy again. Myungsoo returned the smile with a warm one and for a moment, he worked on taking off the keychain from his bag to reveal it to the girl. Yoojung’s eyes widened and it made Myungsoo’s smile grew even wider.

“Do you like it?”

“I do. It looks beautiful!”

“Well then, it’s for you. I will ask Mom to buy me the similar keychain later.” The respond made Yoojung’s eyes glinting and without further ado, she took it from the boy’s hand.

“Thank you so much, Myungsoo.”

When he reached home and told his mother about the fabricated story of him losing his keychain, his mother was not angry at all. She promised him to order it tomorrow, and two days after he was seen with his keychain again, only this time, he wrote his name on the plastic surface behind the keychain with an erasable marker.

‘Belongs to Kim Myungsoo, 6-2.’

Later when he met Yoojung again, he wrote her name on her own keychain as well.

‘Belongs to Jeon Yoojung, 6-4.’

“I hope you will not lose it, for I will try my best to retain it by my side.” Myungsoo mused, a small smile made its way to his lips. Yoojung nodded while holding the keychain tightly.

“I promise I will not lose this, Myungsoo.”

“Good, then.”

Time flew fast and they were on high school now. Coincidentally, they enrolled in the same school again and this time, Myungsoo always lingered around his crush, although he never renounced his feelings toward the girl—and she seemed comfortable with his presence, too. They were always together—the teachers had been so kind to put them in the same class for three years straight—and when it was some days before their graduation day, Myungsoo finally mustered enough courage to speak up about his feelings to the girl.

It was a windy day in October, they were sitting together on a bench at the city park. Myungsoo was nervous; beads of sweat kept rolling on his face. On the other hand, Yoojung seemed to enjoy the sight before her, contented sighs could be heard from her.

“Yoojung,” Myungsoo finally called her in a timid voice. Yoojung shifted her gaze toward the boy, arching an eyebrow in a questioning manner.

“Yes, Myungsoo? What is it?” She softly asked, and it made the boy’s insides stirred up.

“Yoojung, I hope you are aware that I have been keeping some sort of feelings toward you for five years,” He started, nervousness latching onto him. Yoojung decided to listen, her eyes were fully focused at the male, who felt like Yoojung was scanning him from head to toe, as if she was thinking he is crazy. “And today I would like to let you know. If I were to ask you to be my girlfriend, what would be your answer?” Myungsoo continued, at this rate he no longer cared if Yoojung choose to run away, leaving him to wallow in his desperation. It took some minutes for Yoojung to answer—yet it felt like forever to Myungsoo.

“Myungsoo, I hope you are aware that I have been keeping some sort of feelings toward you for five years,” She rephrased what Myungsoo just said, only changing it a little on the end. “And today I would like to let you know. If you were to ask me to be your girlfriend, my answer would be…,” Yoojung hung her words, wanting to tease the boy a little although she quickly continued when she saw the look in his eyes. “I want to be your girlfriend, Kim Myungsoo.” A loud sigh of relief escaped Myungsoo’s mouth and with that, he pulled the girl into his embrace—the first time he actually touched a girl—while whispering lots of thank you to her ear, yet soon he pulled away from the embrace and made Yoojung confused, moreover when he got up from the bench and knelt before her, taking her hand to grasp on it lightly.

“Wait, I haven’t officially asked you. So, Jeon Yoojung, would you be my girlfriend?” The smile preserved on his lips, his voice was calm and firm.

“Yes, I would, Myungsoo,” she chuckled, squeezing his hand gently. “Wait, this sounds more like a proposal.”

“I indeed proposed you to be my girlfriend, Yoojung. Later if the fate is kind to us, I will propose you to be my wife, do not worry.” The answer made Yoojung’s cheeks reddened in an instant, yet Myungsoo laughed softly, straightening himself up to ruffle her brown hair. “I can’t promise you such things, besides we are still too young to vision the future, but if you want, I will strive my best.”

Time passed, and they enrolled in the same school, again. Although not in the same class, they always spent some time to be alone together, either by strolling around the park or studying. They aimed for their dreams; Myungsoo to become a professional photographer, and Yoojung to become a professional cook.

The fate, however, had not been so kind to Myungsoo alone. During his early third semester, his mother passed away—Mrs. Kim had been battling against cervix cancer for years, and in the end, she lost. It was a great loss for him for the after-effect was significantly taking place. His scores became deteriorating and he lost his grip. Most of the time he would be seen as if he was in a trance, other times he disappeared and was found at the library, sleeping atop a pile of books. It made Yoojung worried and she helped him to heal, encouraging him to do his best so his mother would be proud for him from up above. Gradually, Myungsoo showed progress, yet when the scar was not fully healed, another major loss struck him.

Their last semester on high school ended well—both Myungsoo and Yoojung made it to the top ten of highest rankings—and Myungsoo had planned to surprise her at a café nearby. A huge teddy bear doll was seated, along with a red rose and sets of candles on the table. It was also the day when Myungsoo got accepted as a trainee in Woollim Entertainment, and he wanted to celebrate it as well with his dearest girl. He could not help it, he was actually a little sad because his mother was not here, but he was sure she had known about it from heaven, and begged her to always pray for him. Myungsoo had written a memo like he always did whenever he wanted to meet with Yoojung, this time, he added that the place was not in school.

Yoojung never made it to the restaurant.

Turned out when she was on the way, a drunk man drove his car in a high speed, exceeding the speed limit, and since he was under alcohol influence, he did not drive his car well. Yoojung, who was walking on the pedestrian, did not know about it and in a blink of an eye, blood was everywhere. It was not only Yoojung who got hit, several people on the location did, too, and the accident killed Yoojung and two other persons. Myungsoo, who got impatient because Yoojung did not come for two hours, was upset and he went outside. It was when he spotted the people swarming around and as he got closer, his hands become colder, and he wished he was only dreaming when he saw Yoojung laying lifelessly on the cold cement concrete. Everything was blurry, and he could hear himself screaming her name out loud, violently shaking Yoojung’s body as if hoping she would be alive again.

Myungsoo could not bear the loss, and he deserted himself from people for a few weeks. He wrote a letter to Woollim, stating that he had personal matters and would like to postpone his first training, and thankfully the company accepted it, wishing him to come back sooner.

“I would not,” He whispered, his hand clutching the keychain tightly. “I don’t have any reason to live again.”

Thankfully, his father and brother were there to support him. It was hard to convince Myungsoo that everything would get better, but eventually, he got himself another reason to live, and more, and more, and finally he could stand on his feet again.

“I will never forget you, Yoojung.” He murmured softly at Yoojung’s tomb, it lightly. “I will prove you and my mother that I can make both of you proud of me.”

“You’re at it again.”

Myungsoo was startled and realized pairs of eyes were staring intently at him, curious of what he had been thinking of. Myungsoo waved his hand in dismissal, trying to reassure the boys that he was fine, only stressed of some things, and hurried toward the building’s door to go home. He could not stop himself from thinking of his first love all over again, along with his beloved mother, and when he arrived home, he had no energy left to drag himself to bed. He simply threw himself to the couch and before the drowsiness got the best of him, he immediately sat up straight and quickly replied to the message.

Surprisingly, the reply came fast.

That was the time Myungsoo’s heart skipped a beat. He blinked his eyes several times, hopelessly hoping his eyes were deceiving him. He stormed to his bedroom and took out a photo from his drawer, and compared it to the photo Soojung just sent. His hands became shaky and he stepped backward, collapsing next to the bedpost.

“Why did I not realize it when I met her?”

Finally, he found the answer why he was being like this for days.

Soojung’s face was strikingly similar to Yoojung, reminding himself of his first love and the memories they had together.

“It can’t be like this.” He shook his head, not wanting to believe what he just found out.

A/N: The things are heating up, aren't they? >< I can't wait to see where it's going and I hope you do, too~ :D