Ghosts of the Past
Little MatchmakerSandara's day begin before dawn. Her posh penthouse suite was bright with artificial light. She would do typical things to prepare-- shower, dress, makeup. The routine was set on stone. She didn't even need to think about it. She never needed much more than a coffee to prompt her mornings, which was good, because it would be terrible to find out that she actually needed his good mornings. Especially now that she no longer has them.
After filling her travel mug with a good dose of strong black coffee, she heads for door and closes it behind her. She didn't need to think. She didn't want to, or else she might think she misses him or something.
She walked through the quiet hallway with just the staccato of her heels accompanying her, and she fights the assertive memories of walking beside him. Ryu Jin.
The elevator hummed a tired song something from the '60s, one that Ryu Jin insisted to hum along to. Sandara stared at her garbled reflection on the stainless steal door of the elevator... How can she feel so absolutely alone?
It was a mutual break up, over dinner where they had steak and potatoes, with a side salad drenched in a French dressing. She remembered he prepared everything, even opened that expensive wine bottle that they agreed to only share on their wedding night.
They ate and spoke of each other's day, like they usually do. She felt an incredible affection for him that night, something tender, something like eternal love of some sort.
Ryu Jin... She thought of him, in spite the deliberate effort of not wanting to. Ryu Jin... Born Im Yoo Jin, though he changed his name after a falling out with his family. The self-made man who she had dated since she was fresh out of college. She was 21 and he was 29... When they started living together, he told her he wanted to marry soon, have children. She asked if he could wait. He told her of course he would.
Then flash forward 13 years to the present, in between sips of the vintage Merlot, "Dara," he said in a whisper, and for some reason Dara knew... It was the end, "I want to get married."
Marriage. Sandara just stared at him, this man she loved for more than a decade. Why... Hasn't she married him? It was definitely not the lack of asking, since he had asked. Twice. Both at a grand gesture, with one under a bridge decorated with a thousand daisies, the other at a hotel littered with perhaps 10,000 rose petals. Both of the proposal, she turned down and begged him, begged him on her knees to wait for a little bit longer, just a little bit, because there was this promotion to supervisor, to manager, to director. She needed more time.
Why not marry him? Why not?
She needed to get Sang hyun to graduate, then Durami. Ryu Jin even told her he was fine helping her out but she needed to do it on her own. She promised herself that, at least. After her father left them to debt, she swore she will not be a damsel in distress saved by a prince. She needed to save herself.
Her prince... her Ryu Jin agreed, loved her for her independence, but he grew old, so, so old. Forty-two and still childless, waiting for something, for Sandara who seemed to never be ready...
"Oppa..." She began.
He bowed down, and chuckles. "You will be Director of Sales now. How far up do you need to be?"
"It's not that... Being director though... It means I have to take on responsibilities. The satellite branches in Singapore..."
"It doesn't have to be you..." Ryu Jin told her with steady eyes.
"What do you mean? Of course, it has to be me. As the new director..."
"I mean it doesn't have to be you who I marry."
Ah, that was it. She knew when he said he wanted to get married it was the end because the past proposals was please be my wife. The past proposals she was integral to the deal, now, he was just saying he wanted to be married. It didn't even have to be her.
"Oh." She said. "Oh."
"I want it to be with you." Ryu Jin said.
She smiled at him, and for a second she couldn't speak. She wanted to speak and tell him, yes, please. Yes, marry me. I am sorry for making you wait. I am sorry. But the words don't come out.
She worked so hard... So hard. She knew what they called her at work. Sandara the Spartan. Sandara the Perfect. She was a difficult woman to love because always, always she worked so hard.
She bites her lip. The wine clung thickly on her tongue. Ryu Jin smiled at her, he always looked so refined, like vintage wine. But then even the most carefully aged wine can turn sour.
"It's okay, Dara." He said, "I understand." He folded his table napkin and set it on his plate.
The next hour he was gone. The last thing he said was "I'll have someone get my things." Then left his keys.
That was a month ago, and she continued her pace. Her mornings s
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