Eram quod es, eris quod sum

I was what you are, you will be what I am.

Junhong woke with a start. He’d been sleeping almost soundly, but the sudden turn of events in his dream had turned that sweet unconscious hallucination into nothing short of a nightmare. Disoriented and exhausted as he was, he felt around for his phone. His hand fell on a slip of paper that had fallen off of his chest in his blind panic. Another meditation chart.

Since he had arrived nearly two weeks ago, Yongguk did nothing but stress meditation and focus and inner peace. While that sounded all fine and dandy, Junhong still wasn’t entirely sure why he was there. Yongguk did nothing even cue him in on the types of studies that he would be doing so far away from home. That book stayed by his side throughout most of his extrusions, and though the sight of it stressed himself the aura that it emitted was almost serene. That did nothing to progress Junhong’s meditation skills,though.

He found out quickly that Yongguk was a solitary man.

In all of the swooping foliage and bright green canopies, Junhong learned that Yongguk had created for himself a kingdom. Stunning branches that had been twisted and turned into tall arches, bridges over foggy green marshes and paths that looked like the woven sides of baskets. Each and every stone had been overtaken with crawling plant life that grew on it in patches and vines. There were hardly any animals around, save for the large lumbering black bear that never left Yongguk’s side. Everything seemed undisturbed and almost untouched by any sort of man. He felt like an anachronism in a place so lovingly caressed by the touch of time.

Traversing through the kingdom that such an ominous man created showed nothing but exploding bursts of Yongguk’s personality. Art work here, music there. Roots, leaves, and herbs somewhere else while books of spells, meditation and potions occupied another space. He was of a breed that lived in an organized chaos. The man would pluck exactly what he needed out of any given pile. He put all his trust in his first choice, and staying faithful to that choice proved to yield him wonderful results. Yongguk carried himself throughout his temple as well as his kingdom with an air of carelessness. He seemed at peace as he conducted himself, whether it was cooking or doing whatever it was he woke up early to do.

Even in those two weeks, though Junhong learned so much, he was still kept in the dark. Yongguk taught him the basics of meditation, which, apparently, were quite vital in practicing the magic that the elder was willing to teach him. He stressed the importance of good form and a peaceful place. Though it wasn’t difficult at all to find a nice, quiet place to do the action, even when Junhong was sitting cross legged surrounded by countless Buddhas, he still couldn’t achieve the peace that was so vital to have.

“You’re trying too hard.” Yongguk had said simply over a dinner of kai tun ya chin, a Thai soup that he was keen on making almost every night.

“No such thing as trying too hard.” Junhong had rolled his eyes whilst playing with a goji berry with the edge of his spoon.

Yongguk snorted, dismissing Junhong’s excuse with it. “You’re trying too hard for a specific result. You’re rushing it, Junhong. You need to be at peace with yourself before you can actually tap into your inner abilities.”

And with that, the conversation was over. Junhong had stormed off. What was even the point in meditating if he already was at peace with himself? There was nothing to gain from results already achieved. It seemed as if there really was no point in coming all the way out to another country just to meditate. What even of the book? Yongguk had not even gone as far to mention it. Still; Junhong wouldn’t let the thing out of his sight. He was worried what it would do, or who would take it. As much as he wanted to trust Yongguk, the book was his and there was no way he’d let some stranger have it.

After months of pointless meditation, though, Junhong finally reached his revelation.

It wasn’t some idea that just popped into his mind from seemingly nowhere. No, it was something different. It was a feeling of bliss that washed over him. The aching in his legs from being crossed in such an awkward way were nothing anymore, and the bustling whispers of the forest around him melded together into crescendo of raw serenity. He felt so wonderful,  so elated. It seemed as if he’d received guidance from the great Buddha himself. Yongguk even noticed the clear difference when he checked on Junhong to observe for a short time, something he did every so often.

“Less tense,” he’d nodded, and this time his words didn’t break Junhong from his concentration. “I think you’re ready enough.”

Thus, things began, though not without some background information.

Yongguk had sat Junhong down in a clearing. Dirt covered the ground in the packed down, moist way that it always did, though Junhong long since stopped fretting about the stains on his jeans. Tall grasses spurted out from the ground like stiff, green hotsprings. They created an arch and shaded the area, leaving only slivers of space between their blades for light to peek through. There was an unsaid story to be told, and the gravity of the moment was further asserted by the fact that a certain asiatic bear was nowhere to be found.

“Kid,” Yongguk started, once again unintentionally rubbing the fact that he was older in Junhong’s face. Though this time, it didn’t bother him as much. “There’s a lot for you to learn, and I don’t expect you to do it fast, but I want to tell you about me first. You’re out of the loop in most of this.

“Necromancy is a hard thing to learn. It wasn’t easy for me, especially since I’m from a whole other class of magic.” The shifting of the topic was odd, but as Yongguk sat there legs crossed with his eyes trained on Junhong’s face there was honestly no telling what would leave his lips next. “That doesn’t matter, though. What matters is you. You’re a lot like me. I found an artifact of my own,” he produced a small pouch that had been tied around his neck with a leather cord. “It’s a bit different than yours, but it’s what got me into this class in the first place. Of course, I didn’t have the same resources as you. It’s been so long now I can’t even remember how I first got into all of this.”

He waved his hand in the air, dismissing any further thoughts. “That’s besides the point. What I’m trying to say is that the book, your artifact, is the most important thing in your life right now. In the future there’ll be easier ways to protect it, but right now you being here with it is the safest. That thing is necessary for you to learn. It’s chosen you, and now you have not even an ounce of a choice to practice what that book preaches if you want things to… to go right, I guess.

“Meditation is the first step. It releases whatever’s been blocking your potential. Once you unclog the blockage, you can really flourish.” There was a curious glint in his eye as he said this. “Next step is basic magic. Nothing too hard. This is generally stuff you should learn at age ten, but since you have no prior knowledge we’ll have to do it now. Generally you’ll be spells that are too broad for just one class of magic. I hope this isn’t too overwhelming for you.”

Junhong immediately shook his head. His eyes had long since glazed over, but not out of boredom. Rather, he was so interested, so completely immersed in what Yongguk was saying that he really had no input on the matter. He was eager to learn more and to carry on what his parents had bestowed upon him in his youth. After all, the spirit of magic had never left him.

Yongguk continued, the light catching him just the right way and amplifying his features to look almost divine. “After the basics, we dive right into a class, your class being the same as mine. I assume you know what necromancy is so I won’t bother explaining. Keep in mind, though, just how challenging this is. When I was learning, God, when I was learning I tried to quit so many times. It’s not going to be any easier for you. As someone who doesn’t know and ounce of the art, magic is going to, in short, make you it’s .”

He couldn’t help it. Junhong burst out laughing. Yongguk didn’t seem like the type to swear, and hearing the word leave his mouth in such a serious situation was too much. He assumed that the elder was only trying to lighten the mood, anyway.

“I remember being like you.” Yongguk finally uttered after Junhong calmed down. A reminiscent smile played at his lips. “Alone, lost, in search of just something to change things up. You jumped at this opportunity, and I jumped at mine. I just hope you make better choices than I did.”

He stood up, dusting off his worn pants that had obviously seen much, much better days. “That’s it for now, I suppose.” Whilst making his way back to the temple he stopped abruptly and turned back to Junhong. “Before I forget; peace be with you.”

As Yongguk retreated, Junhong inexplicably felt hot tears spilling uncontrollably from his eyes. Flashes of the academy danced across his eyes. Church twice a week. Leather covers of the expensive bibles open. It was all there, yet it was still hazy. Why was he crying? All he had said was three words. Three words that held so much weight, so many memories that he wanted to forget.

They reminded him of the purple larkspurs that greeted him the day that his roommate had left, said flowers being the only indication that he’d be rooming alone.

And he cried harder.