AN: This chapter is written in a different point of view for creative reasons. Enjoy. 

Sana's snoring reminded me of workers breaking through mountain walls. It was impossible to sleep. These past few days Sana's been staying with me instead of with Mina. Apparently Momo had insisted, and with a stern push, Sana had been sent my way.

I never thought this would be the outcome of this camp. To be honest, I was just confused. I couldn't wrap my head around Momo. She keeps sending me all these mixed signals and, Jesus- I just want her to tell me what to do. What do I do?

Orange streams of light slowly illuminated the small room as the sun began to rise. This was supposed to be our room. It was borrowed, it wasn't really ours. Somehow the room seemed even more alien to me than before. We only had a few couple of days left of camp, and I was constantly tired. Sleep wasn't coming to me easily, and I could tell that the members were getting worried. What would I tell them? That I had fallen for our main dancer, and that she'd rejected me after devouring me against a wall? That's insane.

This entire situation was insane.

Sometimes I would catch her looking at me. Every time i did, she would hold the stare for a couple of seconds before looking away again. It felt like she wanted to tell me something, but every time I tried talking to her she ran away.

Sana told me that she could beat her up if I wanted her to. I kindly declined.

I was glad that I had Sana. Sure, she obliterated every minuscule chance I had of getting even a few seconds of shut-eye, but she always had my back. In her sort of scary, genuinely sweet, and definitely insane way.

The days were getting colder at an alarming speed. A few days ago summer was in full bloom, now the nights left a chill in the morning air. 

This morning, like the past ones, I gave up on sleep and made my way downstairs to make myself a cup of tea. When I passed that spot in the hallway, I cringed, and my stomach churned with heat. I snatched a blanket and made my way back out to the small pond. Everywhere I turned, everything reminded me of her. I didn't have the energy to be sad anymore, I was just-- apathetic? Indifferent? 

Nevertheless, I took my spot next to the water and leaned back against a large rock. 

The heat spewed up from my cup, turning the chill air into a thick mist. I could imagine the burn on my tongue even if i just tried drinking it. 

"Why do you always go here?" I heard a low voice say behind me.

"I don't know. It's peaceful." I answered, my voice hoarse. I couldn't help myself. "Do you see everything?" I blurted out.

"No." she paused.

"I wish I could" She continued, and I could hear the gravel under her feet as she approached me.

Her red hair fell into her face as she sat down beside me. I didn't bother to turn my head to look at her. She knew what I was going through, she had to. I didn't have to explain myself to her.

"I'm sorry." She murmured, drawing a hand through her hair.

"I know. Thank you." I bit my lip and glanced towards her. Mina looked exhausted, with slumped shoulders and dark rings beneath her eyes. I've never seen her this sad. It made me think that something might have happened. I didn't want to pry, I had no right to, but I felt the need to comfort her. My fingers toyed with the hem of my blanket as I let my head fall to her shoulder.

"What are you doing up this early anyway?" I murmured, feeling my eyelids drooping.

"Someone has to keep an eye on things, don't they?" Mina chuckled, her voice barely a whisper. I never answered her, as I had fallen into a dreamless slumber.

One night when I came back to the room, Momo was there. Laying on her bed, deeply slumped over something she had her back turned towards me. She never looked up at me, and she never spoke to me. I walked around the room, picking and prodding at stuff as I kept my eyes glued to her. In the end, I fell to the bed with a magazine in hand again.

I couldn't stop looking at her, and she kept ignoring me. She was writing something in a journal. Even if I wanted to take a peek I doubt I'd be able to understand a thing. 

That night we both went to bed in the same room. My heart kept hurting, the need to say something, anything at all, was getting out of hand. I laid on my back, staring up at the monotone ceiling. When the familiar feel of my mattress shifting rocked my body, I froze. 

Delicate but strong thighs enveloped my waist, and her hands gripped at the sheets by the sides of my head. My mouth was dryer than a desert, and all I could do was stare into those pitch black pools. I wanted to ask what she was doing, my mouth falling open.

As she leaned down, closer to my face, I could feel a knot tangling violently at the base of my stomach.

"Tell me to stop." She murmured, hot breaths lapping at my ears. 

I couldn't.

I couldn't say a thing.

I couldn't tell her anything at all.

I couldn't ask her what she was doing when she kissed me.

I couldn't stop my hands from pulling her closer.

I couldn't stop myself from not caring. I didn't care. I just wanted her. It didn't matter that she made my head spin and that she made me want to cry.

It didn't matter that I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't do anything. I just wanted her. That blonde hair, those perfect abs, her melodic laughter. I wanted her hands all over me and I wanted to be with her. So I kissed her harder. I sat up and wrapped my arms around her tightly.

I didn't want to let go. I never wanted to let her go again.

"So she just left, again?" Chaeyoung looked puzzled and slightly embarrassed. Her cheeks were a faint pink, and her hands wouldn't keep still.

"I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable by telling you all of this?" Chaeyoung shook her head fervently and took my hands. Hers were small, and a bit clammy. I guess she really was uncomfortable. 

"No, I'm just- you know, a bit shocked. I had no idea." She her lips and tried her best at giving me a reassuring smile.

"Okay. Well, yeah. When I woke up, she was gone. Nowhere to be seen. She hasn't talked to me all day either." I sighed, the memories of yesterday flooding and mixing with the pain of rejection.

"I don't know what to say, I wish I knew what to do. I kind of want to sic Sana at her." Chaeyoung grumbled. It was cute, the way she became so protective.

"That wouldn't solve anything, but I can't say that I haven't thought of it." I exhaled, a deep sigh deflating along with my spirits.

"You'll figure it out. I believe in you." Chaeyoung said as she put her arm around my shoulders.

The next night Momo came into my bed again. Only, this time, when I asked her what the matter was, she only wanted to know if I wanted her to stop. When I said no, that was the end of the discussion. I was getting angry at her. I didn't understand why she would do this to me.

She was being hot and cold at the same time. I didn't have a single clue what to think. I couldn't help but wonder, was she using me? 

At night, she would touch me like there was no tomorrow, and leave kisses trailing everywhere- I was at her will entirely. I didn't mind that part, but she never wanted to talk to me or acknowledge me during the day. I was getting frustrated with her.

I wanted more. I wanted her, all of her. Not this. I didn't want this. I wanted her, not her body or her kisses. I wanted her smile, her hands in mine.

I wanted her to look at me with joy. Not those dark pools that reminded me of hunger and anger.

I wanted her to feed me in the morning, burnt pancakes with unholy amounts of butter.

I wanted to brush my teeth with her at night before bed.

I wanted to cuddle up with her in front of the TV, as we watched some cheesy drama. 

I wanted to have all of her. I was starting to realize that I wouldn't.

Momo wouldn't be mine like that.

These were the cards I was dealt.

It was either this or nothing at all.

And I chose to have at least this.

Momo would never be mine.

But at least, I could be hers.

During the last night at the cabin, I found myself angry with Momo again. I was bruised, the marks of her hands and her lips covering my entire body. She'd left her prints all over me, and they were burning against my skin. I was painfully aware.

I watched her shove various articles of clothing down her duffel-bag, not at all putting any effort into it- like i was. I suddenly looked at that pink jumper in my hands. Even though i had tried and tried again to neatly fold it, it was disheveled and uneven and ugly. It reminded me of our first night at the cabin. I was confused, and a part of me wishes that i never tried figuring things out.

The pink fabric is violently suffocated into my own bag.

Momo didn't notice.

My hands are sweaty, and my heart suddenly starts racing.

"What's going to happen when we get home?"

Momo didn't answer, she blatantly ignored my question. I could feel the strain as my jaws clenched. 

"What even are we?"

Momo stood up, opting for the bathroom- I scrambled to my feet, tugging her back by her wrist.

"ing hell would you just answer me already?" Momo's eyes met mine, but hers were unresponsive. While i could feel my anger pulsing through my veins, and hear my heart shattering over and over again; she looked emotionless. It only further fueled my frustration. Why wouldn't she feel the same as I did, why wouldn't she feel anything at all?

"What do you want me to say?" She murmured, her dark pools boring into me.

"Don't you feel anything for me?!" I heard myself scream. She was unfazed, she only kept her eyes on me. I could feel my throat constricting. She kept shut.

"Don't you love me?" I whimpered, the first tear threatening to spill. Every piece of frustration, every piece of anger, every piece of sadness was threatening to collide into a big ball and run me over. I could feel myself breaking. I didn't know what I would do, without her. It's silly- now that i think of it. I'm a kid. And she's a stupid girl.

I let my head fall as she murmured her answer, and when she left the room I let her. It was like i was finally free. My heart had stopped beating- my lungs no longer felt as if weighed down by stone. I wasn't happy, but I was no longer caged.

I was no longer.

No.

Dahyun had gone off to spend time with Sana and the rest at the local karaoke- but Chaeyoung had opted to stay with me in our dorm room for the night.

I was genuinely surprised when she entered our room, holding a couple of blanket's and a six-pack of grape-soda.

We'd been back at the house for a couple of weeks, and while i was certain everyone knew something had transpired between me and momo, no one had the audacity to intervene or snoop. It was nice, being left to tend to your own wounds. Even Sana- as extreme as she can be -stayed out of my way.

That was until Chaeyoung decided to have a one-on-one sleepover tonight. She even wrote a slip that she put on the door; asking everyone else to "kindly -off", decorated with various doodles and hearts.

It was so very Chaeyoung of her. She constantly surprised me and the other members, showing new and unexpected sides of herself. Not to mention the uncharacteristic aggressivity and boldness.

Chaeyoung had flopped down on my bed, immediately snatched my stuffed dog and demanded that I put on the next episode of whatever drama it was that she had gotten into latest. I knew she would want to talk to me about Momo eventually. I had been lucky the past couple of weeks, but I could tell Chaeyoung wasn't having it.

"What motivates you to keep going?" Chaeyoung had broken the silence that I'd managed to keep for just under an hour. 

"What do you mean?" I pondered out loud.

"I mean like, when life gets hard- what keeps you going?" Chaeyoung queried as she had turned to look directly at me.

"Oh?" I was a little taken back. I had never previously thought of that question.

"I think, my family?" 

"Then why are you here, and not with them?" Chaeyoung spoke up again, probably unaware of how snappy she had sounded. I shrugged.

"This is what I love to do." Chaeyoung hummed in response, turning away from me again.

"You can think of me as family." I looked down at my hands. Chaeyoung was rarely this sincere or affectionate. I hear her break open another grape-soda beside me.

"!" I snapped my head her way again. She was hunched over, one hand high above her head and the other cradling a wet can of soda against her lips. She looked at me with wide eyes and a sheepish expression on her face. I couldn't help but smile. Purple stains covered her PJ's and my sheets. By some kind of miracle, my pet stuffed dog had been saved from the exploding soda.

"Wait here, I'll go get some fresh sheets. You can borrow PJ's from me." Chaeyoung simply smiled at me, putting down the can on my bedside table.

I fetched the sheets and came back to the sight of Chaeyoung in my way-too-large clothes. My old T-shirt looked like a tent draping her petite frame. I wasn't that large- really.

"I look ridiculous." Chaeyoung pouted.

"Yeah." I just snickered in reply. It earned me a displeased scowl.

"Shut up and sit down." Chaeyoung spat. I complied. Her small body bobbed as the mattress dipped down with my weight.

"No tip-toeing around anymore. What exactly happened between you and Momo?" My heart ached at the mention of her name. Like a vase shattering against a wall, I could feel it breaking all over again. I must've made a weird face because Chaeyoung's face distorted into one of  worry.

As I pondered she just waited. The air turned stale. I could taste the bitterness upon my tongue as I tried taking a deep breath. It came out broken and shaky.

I could see Chaeyoung fidgeting in her seat, I didn't know if she was impatient or worried or- whatever she might be. She was clearly not at ease. 

"We fought." I pushed through strangled vocal chords.

"About what?" I found her question a little irritating. She knew that I'd had a situation with Momo- did she really have to make me say it?

"I wanted to know if she loved me, and she doesn't." I croaked. My chest was filled with cement, my lungs unable to bring me oxygen. I could feel all the muscles in my body as they tensed and became numb. It was white noise within my skin. My ears were ringing.

Chaeyoung just took my hands and kept quiet. I was expecting something more, anything at all. I can't say I've thought of Chaeyoung as the most tactful person in the world, but she didn't impose anymore. 

She didn't say anything when I started crying either.

She didn't object when I stained her shirt a second time this evening.

Chaeyoung didn't even say anything when I started screaming.

For the first time in weeks, I slept with peace.

I went back to keeping to myself after the night with Chaeyoung. Things did change, though- I started opening up a little bit, and the thought of Momo wasn't a short way to excruciating pain anymore. I watched dramas with the others, ate with them, even laughed on occasion. We were on break career-wise, some of our more outgoing members had schedules. Dahyun, Nayeon, and Jungyeon more specifically.

This night was another night worth of mention.

After some half-assed attempt at convincing me to join them for dinner at one of the smaller restaurant's in the area, the rest of the group had left me to my own devices. I had decided on spending my night on the couch, accompanied by some grape soda and the mindless buzz from the TV. I didn't feel like actively watching anything, I just wanted to be mindless and numb for a while. The TV made a small beeping noise every time I changed the channel, jumping between western thrillers and scripted variety shows. 

It really did not seem like the most interesting of nights, but when I heard the door slamming shut I knew my plans had been ruined.

I heard some shuffling from the hall and soon after a scowling Mina appeared in the doorway.

I didn't think to ask- if she wanted to tell me something she would. So I turned my head back to the screen, silently praying for Mina to just go away so I could continue moping by myself.

"This has to stop." I heard Mina say from behind me. I didn't respond. I didn't want to talk about it. I was tired.

She moved to stand in front of the TV, her breath shallow and her hands shaking. Was she angry with me?

"What?"

"Tzuyu, you need to cut it out. You need to come back." Her voice was hard but broken. I could see from my spot on the couch that tears were forming in her eyes. I didn't know how to respond. 

"I'm sick of seeing you like this, I'm sick of seeing her like this- you need to get your ing act together." Her voice, usually so small, filled the entire room, frustration releasing into the air like a toxin. She fell silent, and the laughter from the TV unceremoniously resounded through the tension.

Her eyes were dark, boring into me. I was stunned, and although I probably should've felt sad or angry or anything at all I just felt shocked. Mina had never raised her voice at me, she was the silent support. Never demanding, never asking for anything in return. 

I suddenly felt remorse, it must've been tough on the others to deal with my moping mess.

"I'm sorry" was my only plea. 

"Stop saying you're sorry and get over yourself." Mina spat back, her hands wrapping into tight balls, the blood draining from her knuckles.

I raised my knees to my face and held them. I wanted to disappear. I could hear Mina let out a shaky breath, and then her feet as they shuffled against the floor.

The couch dipped down as she sat down beside me.

"I love you, you know. Both of you." Mina muttered. "This is bull."

I heard the TV changing channels again, the familiar beeping noise easing the silence.

Mina was right. I had been sulking for weeks, and over what? A girl. My fellow member, friend, and colleague. I had lost track of myself, of what I'm doing in this country, of my own desires and dreams. Correction; I had been focusing all my energy on that one desire and dream that I couldn't have. It didn't make sense. I thought of myself as someone more logical, a person above their own desires. 

"Thank you." I murmured into my knees as buried my face deeper. All I felt was Mina's arm draping across my shoulder, and the assurance of a low hum in recognition.

Weeks later my situation had changed in the most unexpected of ways. I was feeling brighter, healthier, happier. I felt in touch with the rest of the members, and life was, in general, looking up. Sana was pleased with my change for the better, and I'd grown closer to Mina.

Mina never raised her voice at me like that again, but we had plenty more nights together in front of the TV- Chaeyoung always opted to stay with us. I'm pretty sure Chaeyoung's reason for joining us was her unhealthy obsession with dramas. However, I constantly thought back to what Momo said when Mina's eyes would stray away from the screen and land on the petite brunette.

I couldn't help but feel a little worried, I didn't want my recently closer companion to face the pain of rejection like I had. What was I even thinking, falling for one of the members of my group? 

Yes, I was still very much in love with Momo. I couldn't decide over the matters of my heart. Momo's smile, her incessant screaming and her constant onslaught of dirty jokes were all kryptonite to me. I loved Momo in ways I never thought I would.

Momo, on the other hand, didn't seem to do as well as I did. While I've always had issues trying to figure her out- I couldn't help but feel as if there was something hidden there. Just beneath her surface.

Her smiles weren't as wide, her screams weren't as loud, and her jokes not as dirty.

It was like Momo had just become a little less Momo. I missed her.

I somehow felt as if it was my fault- we hadn't yet repaired what was broken between us. I was angry at her for a long time- for leading me on, for using me. But after I decided to focus on feeling better, I understood that such might not have been the case. I couldn't know what was going on inside Momo's head, but i had this feeling like she was scared. 

Momo was most probably scared, of me. Of us, of where things might've gone.

I couldn't blame her for being scared.

Sana was the angriest one out of the two of us. She would always say that there's no excuse for playing around with someone like that, and on multiple occasions, she had generously volunteered to "smack the living crap out of her".

I always declined, with a smile.

My bedroom door creaked as it opened, and the orange hues of the hallway lamp slipped into the room.

Dahyun had been sneaking out almost every night this week, no doubt to do something mischievous or forbidden. I had gotten used to her most recent habit, so I merely pulled my sleeping mask down further and hugged my plushie tighter. The door closed quietly, and the room was silent for a few seconds before the shuffling of a pair of feet could be heard. 

As my covers were slightly lifted and the weight of someone crawling into my bed disturbed the mattress, I felt a familiar chill running down my spine.

A cold pair of hands encircled my waist, splaying across my stomach.

"I'm sorry." I heard her whisper against my ear. I was frozen in place.

She nuzzled further into my neck, pressing her body closer against my back.

My mouth was dry, was I dreaming again? She didn't actually come here again? She wouldn't-

"I do love you." Momo said under her breath. I barely caught it at all, if I'd been breathing I probably wouldn't.

My heart had stopped beating, my legs were numb, no amount of gasping could fill my lungs with air again. It was like I had been punched in the gut, with a bat.

"Momo, I-"

"No. I really do love you." She murmured.

With the fear of waking my roommates I tried turning around as silently as I could, but her arms only held me tighter, keeping me from looking at her.

"Please, just let me have this. I don't want to forget just yet." She pleaded, and my head spun. She'd been gone for weeks, she'd told me she didn't love me, she'd done everything in her power to make sure that I wouldn't get the wrong idea and now she's here. She's here and she's demanding I let her be close to me because she- she, she loves me. Momo loves me. It finally hit me. She did love me. 

"Why would you have to forget?" I croaked. A billion and one questions swirling around like a hailstorm in my head.

"I'm too late." her small voice broke, and I could swear that I heard a sniffle- something unusual coming from Momo.

And just like that- I knew everything would be okay.

"You're never too late." Momo's fingers dug deeper into my abdomen, as her head bowed down further and the sniffles became heavier.

I'm pretty sure Chaeyoung and Dahyun were already awake, but after Momo started full out crying they both silently left the room. I had to thank them later.

Momo finally let me turn around, and as I looked into her bloodshot eyes I couldn't help but smile. She was beautiful, even in the dark of my room. With tears on her face and puffy eyes, I had never found her more beautiful. 

I kissed her. Those soft, wet lips were better than I remembered them. I could almost taste her pain and her love on her tongue, and before I knew it I was crying too. I held her damp face between my hands as I tried to make her understand. Kiss the pain away. I wanted her to be happy again.

A small giggle soon erupted from within her chest.

"We're such losers." She murmured against my lips, and I had to break the kiss to smile back at her. The smile turned into giggles, and the giggles turned into laughter. And then we cried again. We cried for a long time until we were both too tired and too bruised to stay awake any longer. That night I fell asleep with Momo in my arms- like I would come to do for so many nights thereafter.

AN: Hi guys, it's been a long time since i last updated the fic. This is the last chapter, and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I do however feel as if me being gone killed my motivation, and I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter. I hope you'll have understanding and enjoy it either way.

If there are any errors- feel free to point them out and I'll change them. 

Thanks for sticking with me and this story.

Until next time~