The cold air is refreshing as we run through the frost covered grass. Kiseop and Soohyun are in the front racing each other seeing who can jump in the water first. We all jump in at the same time. Once I hit the water all my breath seems to escape my body. Every part of my body goes numb and it’s hard to move. It feels like a thousand needles punctured my body at the same time. We all resurface above the water cussing and swearing under our breaths. We hurdle our bodies out of the body in a slashing mess. After we all stumble out of the water we race to the hot tub and jump in the warm water. “Oh sweet Jesus…that feels good,” Eli yells out. The warm water burns my feet but it feels good. Why did we even jump in the pool in the first place? That was so stupid. The water’s probably -10 degrees. Oh right, it was Kiseop’s brilliant idea. I splash Kiseop in the face with a good amount of force. “You’re so stupid.”

“Well, who’s the bigger fool?  The fool or the fool who followed him?” He says with a mocking expression.

“Shut up.”

                We all sit in silence relaxing until Soohyun decides he’s thirsty. He searches around the hot tub looking for a cooler since there’s no way any of us is getting out of the warm water. Since this house is perfect he finds a small cooler next to his head rest. “Oh~” He pulls out a beer bottle and flicks the cap off. He takes a sip and then asks, “Anyone want a sip?” He asks and passes it around.

“We’re too young to drink.” I say.

“So, everyone drinks before they’re 21. I even heard you got drunk before Kevin.”

“What…I did?” I don’t remember that…

                Alexander grabs the bottle and takes a long sip. He scrunches his face up after he swallows. “Sour,” He passes the bottle to Dongho and he takes a quick, small sip before passing it. When he hands it to Kiseop, Kiseop looks nervous almost. He looks at Soohyun almost like he’s waiting for approval. Soohyun just blankly stares at him like they’re almost telepathically talking. I grab the bottle from Kiseop and take a big gulp. It takes like . I give it back to Kiseop and wait for him to take a sip. If I did it why couldn’t he? Soohyun starts giggling for no reason and I know he’s going to make some kind of stupid joke.

“Come on Kiseop, you have to take a sip now. It’s an indirect kiss from Kevin.” He makes everyone else laugh a little but Kiseop just rolls his eyes. Kiseop takes a long sip and then passes it on. Unlike everyone else, he seemed perfectly fine with the taste… like he’s used to drinking alcohol…

                We start playing a game of Truth or Dare for no apparent reason. Soohyun and Kiseop start chugging down bottles of beer and they’re getting really goofy. Kiseop seems more drunk then Soohyun.

                “Alright, Alexander…how many girlfriends have you had?” Eli asks.

“I’ve had a few.” He says bluntly with a sense of humor. Kiseop starts hysterically laughing like a dope. “Kevin’s never had a girlfriend!” He goes crazy and keeps leaning on me invading my personal bubble. It’s awkward….

“Soohyun, how many boyfriends have you had?” Eli asks again.

Soohyun thinks for a moment, “Three, including Dongho.” He looks over at Dongho and gives him a hug, “Don’t worry your my favorite.” Dongho’s face looks annoyed but there’s a hidden smile.

                Soohyun moves toward Eli and pets his hair, “You’re a y blonde.” This makes everyone laugh. Dongho grabs Soohyun by the hair and yanks him back to him. “I love you!” Soohyun says and tries to kiss Dongho on the cheek but Dongho just says, “Uh huh…” and pushes his head away with his hand.

                “Who else is gay? I’m not.” Eli asks.

“I am!” Soohyun says happily even though we all know.

“…no…” Alexander says but he seems a little unsure, or maybe he just finds this subject awkward.

Everyone looks at me, and I’m not sure what to say. I don’t know! “Uh….” I can’t seem to figure out what to say!

                Everyone just laughs.

“Kiseop?” Luckily all the attention turns to Kiseop who has been creepily staring at me for the past five minutes without blinking. He smiles creepily. “Mmmhhh” He continues to stare at me and keeps trying to invade my space. Even though it’s awkward I almost feel like smiling for some reason. Every time he tries to get closer to me I feel overheated even though the air outside is cold.  

                ….is Kiseop…gay? I’ve never really thought he was. He always tries to act manly around me. For some reason the thought of Kiseop being gay doesn’t bother me… I know it should because it should be awkward living with someone interested in men…but it almost makes me happy…I DON’T WHAT I’M THINKING!!! I’m not gay and neither is Kiseop. He’s just drunk right now…

                “Alright let’s do a dare,” Soohyun says. “Kiseop,”

                Kiseop doesn’t draw his attention away from me for a few moments but then he turns to the others. “Yes?” he seems extremely happy right now.

“I dare you to run around the neighborhood .” Soohyun laughs and everyone else joins in. Kiseop smiles evilly smiles at Soohyun. “Only if you do it with me,”

They take a moment to smile at each other and then both jump out of the hot tub. Oh geez. I look at everyone else in the hot tub first and then we all get out. We watch as the two of them race around the house into the front yard. The moon light reflects off their wet bodies as the run into the dark. As we chase after them we see the remains of their clothes scattered on the ground. The idea of them running around like this is embarrassing. And the idea of Kiseop makes me blush for some reason. Good thing it’s dark so no one can see.

                Alexander just starts giggling and we all just walk back into the house to dry off. They’ll be back. We continue to sit in the dark on the floor drying our hair and changing into some dry clothes. I make some hot chocolate and the four of us sit on the couch together waiting to see what happens. Tonight’s been fun, and I’m glad Alexander came. I don’t even know what time it is but I’m not even close to tired. For some reason I’m anxious for the other two to come back.

                We sit and chat quietly. It’s already been over half and hour and I can tell Dongho is getting anxious to; he won’t take his eyes off the window.

                Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to let the two of them run around being drunk….

                Suddenly we watch as police car cruses down the road with its red and blue lights blinking. … We all stare at each other. “We should go look for them.”  Alexander volunteers first and we all agree. We grab our coats and scarfs. We grab Soohyun and Kiseop’s coats too since they’re probably freezing. What were we thinking letting them run off like that. What if something bad happened? I stop myself from worrying. Right now we just need to focus on finding them.

                We step outside and walk down the road scanning everything. We decide to split up in different directions, hoping we’ll be able to find them before the police do.

                It’s creepy walking around alone at night. I feel like something’s’ going to jump out at me. I flash my light in the trees and shaky branches. The wind makes it feel twenty degrees colder than it really is and I wrap my scarf tighter around my neck trying to preserve my body heat. “Kiseop!” I call out making sure to keep my voice low enough so I won’t draw any unwanted attention. “Soohyun!”

                The moon is full and bright and a few gray clouds pass over it and I’m just hoping it doesn’t start raining or something. That would be just my luck.

                Suddenly, something runs into me with full force and I fall back on the grass. “OUCH!”

               I realize that the person who knocked me off my feet was Kiseop. “Kiseop….” I can feel his body shivering and his hair is still dripping wet. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against him. I can feel myself blush like crazy…why does he have to be right now? His body is shaking like crazy and I know something’s not right. “Kiseop?” I try to move and look at him but he’s pretty much on top of me so it can’t really move. I heard him breaking down into sobs. Is he crying? “Kiseop what happened,” I ask again but he just rests his head on my shoulder. His soft hair messily covers his face. He’s dyed it back to black but left a few strands in the front a faded blonde. I try to move but he refuses to let go. “I’m scared…” He breathes into my ear and his warm breath gives me butterflies in my stomach.

“Let me take you home.” I say trying to get him off of me.

“No!” He says and tightens his grip on my waist which hurts a little. “Ah! Kiseop you’re hurting me!” He loosens his grip after a few moments. I’m able to get out from under him and look into his eyes. They’re full of confusion and fear. Some terrible emotion stirs inside me and I hate seeing him like this…so broken.

                “Kiseop…” I don’t know what to do. I want to comfort him but I don’t know how. I want to make him feel safe, but how can I if I don’t even know what he’s scared of?

                Of course this is when my eyes drift over his body. He’s got perfectly defined abs and his creamy white, skin shines so nicely in the reflection of the moon light…and then my eyes trace down below his waist…

                Oh I forgot he’s !  My face feels like its burning. “Ah...Ki-Kisoep…um…”

He notices I’m staring at his body and his entire mood seems to change. He smiles seductively. “Are you checking me out?”

“What!? N-NO! How? You were just? What?” He was just emotion wreck a few moments ago! Now what is that look in his eyes! He’s like bi-polar!

“That’s not fair.” He leans in and breaths down my neck again making me feel uncomfortable.

                Suddenly he shoves me down on the ground and gets on top of me. He pins my arms above my head. “Kiseop what are you doing!? Get off!” I try to shove him off with all my strength but it’s useless.

“It’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair!?” I yell at him.

“It’s not fair you get to see me and I don’t get to see you .”

“WHAT!?” His hands start tugging on my belt. “STOP!”

“Sssh!” He presses his finger to my mouth, “I’m not going to you.”

“Oh gee thanks! That’s good to know!” I scream at him, but he doesn’t seem to be listening.

                 “Stop!”  I’m totally being violated right now. I slap him across the face. I feel somewhat guilty about it once I see the hurt and confused expression in his eyes…he is drunk…but still.  I get off the ground and storm off in the direction of home.  “FREEZE TO DEATH FOR ALL I CARE YOU ERT!” I yell as walk off.

                As I walk back home I run into the other’s and Soohyun and just point them in the direction of the .  Once I get home, I run straight to my room and collapse right on my bed. I feel . I look at the clock and it’s already 3:09 in the morning. I can hear the others come in and close the door, and then there’s a loud thud and muttered laughter. A few moments latter Alexander knocks on my door, “Kevin are you ok?”

“Uh…yeah,” I get up and walk to them. I can’t hide in my room for the rest of the night…or should I say morning... We walk down the stairs and I see Kiseop passed out in the middle of the floor and everyone else chatting away on the couch. Soohyun seems to be back to normal, still a little drunk but not as much as Kiseop was.

                We talk for a couple more hours and then we all fall asleep on the couch. I know I’m about to have that stupid dream again but something wakes me before it can start. I keep my eyes closed because I hear Kiseop on the floor as he gets up. He walks into the kitchen and I guess Soohyun is awake too because I hear him ask, “What’s wrong Kiseop?” I look up from the edge of the couch to watch Kiseop run up to Soohyun and hug him. His body’s shaking and I can hear him break down into tears again. Soohyun tightens his grip around Kiseop.

“It felt just like that night.” Kiseop says in between gasps for are and sobs.

                Soohyun just sits with Kiseop in the kitchen for a while just trying to get him to calm down.  What could he be all upset about? What happened to him that he’s so afraid to remember?  What happened that night?  What are they talking about? These questions circle around my mind, but pretty soon sleep over comes my body and I can no longer listen to their conversation.