Chapter Four
Broken GlassChapteR Four
Sometimes there live someone behind us.
I heard few thuds coming nearer, and it halted—just right next to me. Viewed through my peripheral sight, his long muscled arm slipping along his pocket, I made a turn to look at him due to my rising curiosity. Awe-struck. He has the image. He has this white complexion, but he looked perfectly manly and his nose shaped like showing his handsome feature. Those lips were telling how attractive he was; cloaked with a colour of pink even from viewing in the side. His brownish orbs were widely uncommon for a man like him; more into innocence, perhaps God designed it to put purity in it as it is the only portal to a man's soul. Studying his face seemed more astonishing, as if beauty was written along each line of that strange lad’s visage. It took me a little too long to return to my senses, not when he crop out.
“Staring too much?” There was a mischief tone from his smirking face; he made a look at me. Quickening my flinch, back to the sketch, was faltering. They seemed obvious.
“J-just being—“
“—awe-struck?” He butted out. Does not he have some manners? “It’s okay. I’m used to it. Girls really—I mean, usually do that when they will see me.” Someone is conceited here, or---is he just too confident with his image? An evident sigh escaped from my parted lips, deciding to just ask what I wanted to know.
“Look, I just want to ask why my face is here.”
“Oh. That?” His eyes glancing at me and to the sketch. “You were too—apathetic in the orientation earlier. It caught my attention, really. You looked funny.” Chortled he. Funny? Was there anything funny for being apathetic?
“So, you were the one who sketched that?” I admit, it was so, so perfect. This is usually the image that signifies in pain, and in struggle. I feel like crying.
“Yep. Do you want to buy that one for yourself? I will sell it to you for free, that if you will smile at me.” That lad offered that ridiculous condition. What are the means for me to smile? Are there any? Little I staggered, already motioning self to leave. And he was just right there as if blocking the way by holding up his arms on his sides.
“So, what? Where are you going? You just need to smile.”
“There is no need for me to smile. Forget it. Just leave it like that, and thank you—I just realized how the ache stays.”
Shortly, I have seen his expression, something like a question mark plastered on his face with a brow furrowed along and his head arched to the opposite side. He stammered, and could no longer asked what he wanted to ask as my legs were taking me out of the gallery. I found ease in just a brief while and sadness again when resuming to my old self. It was so bothering when seeing my own self like that. I could hardly breathe. It was suffocating me inside. What should I do? I felt so messed up and everything just re-evaluated from the past and today. These steps were teetering, slowly by slowly I lose my control and those tears were long held. It was all of a sudden and it gave people that surrounded me an astounded reaction upon my burst out of crying. The sting started to throb again in my head, which made me lose my all. The wall was my main supporter at that time. I felt frail. I felt hatred. I felt unending pain—till I lose consciousness.
Life had suffered me a lot that I could hardly recognized everything in perfect, nor could I even distinguished what is beautiful and what is not. Why do I need to still live in this way? I do not even know what my purpose is. Does everything come in an abstract? Every little thing? If life is an art, why do I still feel so bothered? Why do I still feel so clueless? Why do I still feel so empty? Or does that mean—I still do not know what art is? Or either way—my life is an art; a concept filled with pain and anguish. Empty. Dark as a black hole.
Warmth smothered my body just a little bit, I felt so. But, I truly felt warm. The fabric that covered me seemed like a life-giver. It comforted me much. There were also few sounds I heard. Every splutter of a spinning ceiling fan it gave, and every tick of the clock it poked my senses. I was awakened slowly by slowly. A finger moved, followed by another one and the rest. These eyes opened after which. I saw white—all white. At first thought, it looks somewhere they called heaven. But, I was wrong.
“Joohyun!” My older sister’s head popped out before me, she was too much worried. “Oh god! I thought you were not going to wake up. You have been asleep for five hours already.” It seemed like my sleeping state was dragging me deeper at those hours. I remained silent, just looking at her without a comment.
“Hey, are you not going to answer me?”
“I’m sorry.” Sullenly I said.
“What was wrong with you? The students told me that you suddenly cried out of control and passed out. Tell me, Joohyun. We are sisters, right? So, please, tell me what is wrong.” She transferred herself on the bed, sitting cautiously to not to give disturb on my condition. My head turned away to the other side. Apathetic.
“Nothing is wrong. I just need a rest, unnie. I will go home now. Our professor won’t make it for our class today.” Slowly I got out of bed while she motioned an arm to insist.
“No, you stay here for a moment, Joohyun.” But, I chose to be stubborn instead, and drifted out of the clinic as my feet reached the ground. Yoona chased me and still forced me to stay there—and yet I remained unshakeable. Yes, I left my own sister and got home alone. There were no days that I was happy, not even a single memory.
I buried myself on bed, realizing that night already engulfed the blue sky. I groaned gently and got myself up slowly. I have fallen asleep. It had always been a tired day. But, that did not convince me much, when the pain struck my head again. The shut of my eyes tightened. Gritted my teeth in pain. Unbearable. It was another pain that poisoned my whole self. When it was no longer in there, I felt changed. The way these thoughts ran was subsiding, it felt anew, but it was no strange. It felt fierce and the weakness spot vanished. It felt scary, but it felt good. Something from the other side dominated me at that moment.
“Staring too much?” There was a mischief tone from his smirking face; he made a look at me. Quickening my flinch, back to the sketch, was faltering. They seemed obvious.
“J-just being—“
“—awe-struck?” He butted out. Does not he have some manners? “It’s okay. I’m used to it. Girls really—I mean, usually do that when they will see me.” Someone is conceited here, or---is he just too confident with his image? An evident sigh escaped from my parted lips, deciding to just ask what I wanted to know.
“Look, I just want to ask why my face is here.”
“Oh. That?” His eyes glancing at me and to the sketch. “You were too—apathetic in the orientation earlier. It caught my attention, really. You looked funny.” Chortled he. Funny? Was there anything funny for being apathetic?
“So, you were the one who sketched that?” I admit, it was so, so perfect. This is usually the image that signifies in pain, and in struggle. I feel like crying.
“Yep. Do you want to buy that one for yourself? I will sell it to you for free, that if you will smile at me.” That lad offered that ridiculous condition. What are the means for me to smile? Are there any? Little I staggered, already motioning self to leave. And he was just right there as if blocking the way by holding up his arms on his sides.
“So, what? Where are you going? You just need to smile.”
“There is no need for me to smile. Forget it. Just leave it like that, and thank you—I just realized how the ache stays.”
Shortly, I have seen his expression, something like a question mark plastered on his face with a brow furrowed along and his head arched to the opposite side. He stammered, and could no longer asked what he wanted to ask as my legs were taking me out of the gallery. I found ease in just a brief while and sadness again when resuming to my old self. It was so bothering when seeing my own self like that. I could hardly breathe. It was suffocating me inside. What should I do? I felt so messed up and everything just re-evaluated from the past and today. These steps were teetering, slowly by slowly I lose my control and those tears were long held. It was all of a sudden and it gave people that surrounded me an astounded reaction upon my burst out of crying. The sting started to throb again in my head, which made me lose my all. The wall was my main supporter at that time. I felt frail. I felt hatred. I felt unending pain—till I lose consciousness.
Life had suffered me a lot that I could hardly recognized everything in perfect, nor could I even distinguished what is beautiful and what is not. Why do I need to still live in this way? I do not even know what my purpose is. Does everything come in an abstract? Every little thing? If life is an art, why do I still feel so bothered? Why do I still feel so clueless? Why do I still feel so empty? Or does that mean—I still do not know what art is? Or either way—my life is an art; a concept filled with pain and anguish. Empty. Dark as a black hole.
Warmth smothered my body just a little bit, I felt so. But, I truly felt warm. The fabric that covered me seemed like a life-giver. It comforted me much. There were also few sounds I heard. Every splutter of a spinning ceiling fan it gave, and every tick of the clock it poked my senses. I was awakened slowly by slowly. A finger moved, followed by another one and the rest. These eyes opened after which. I saw white—all white. At first thought, it looks somewhere they called heaven. But, I was wrong.
“Joohyun!” My older sister’s head popped out before me, she was too much worried. “Oh god! I thought you were not going to wake up. You have been asleep for five hours already.” It seemed like my sleeping state was dragging me deeper at those hours. I remained silent, just looking at her without a comment.
“Hey, are you not going to answer me?”
“I’m sorry.” Sullenly I said.
“What was wrong with you? The students told me that you suddenly cried out of control and passed out. Tell me, Joohyun. We are sisters, right? So, please, tell me what is wrong.” She transferred herself on the bed, sitting cautiously to not to give disturb on my condition. My head turned away to the other side. Apathetic.
“Nothing is wrong. I just need a rest, unnie. I will go home now. Our professor won’t make it for our class today.” Slowly I got out of bed while she motioned an arm to insist.
“No, you stay here for a moment, Joohyun.” But, I chose to be stubborn instead, and drifted out of the clinic as my feet reached the ground. Yoona chased me and still forced me to stay there—and yet I remained unshakeable. Yes, I left my own sister and got home alone. There were no days that I was happy, not even a single memory.
I buried myself on bed, realizing that night already engulfed the blue sky. I groaned gently and got myself up slowly. I have fallen asleep. It had always been a tired day. But, that did not convince me much, when the pain struck my head again. The shut of my eyes tightened. Gritted my teeth in pain. Unbearable. It was another pain that poisoned my whole self. When it was no longer in there, I felt changed. The way these thoughts ran was subsiding, it felt anew, but it was no strange. It felt fierce and the weakness spot vanished. It felt scary, but it felt good. Something from the other side dominated me at that moment.
yemakim here
omoooo finally our Joohyun and Yonghwa met. is there any chance our Joohyun would find comfort and hope in him? or would fall for him? please wait for more updates~ i love you all, precious readers! <3 <3 <3
PS: PLEASE LOVE OUR NEWEST LAYOUT MADE BY DAYDREAMER YAY! DO YOU GUYS LIKE IT? <3
PS: PLEASE LOVE OUR NEWEST LAYOUT MADE BY DAYDREAMER YAY! DO YOU GUYS LIKE IT? <3
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