Jaebum didn’t get much sleep last night. He tossed and turned, feeling restless. Nevertheless, he got up and went out for a run. With earbuds plugged in, he let the music zone him out as he ran. He ran against the cool morning breeze. It blew against his face and through his hair. when he started to feel the burn in his legs he ran harder but his legs were soon screaming for a rest, so he came to a halt and collapsed on someone’s front lawn. He shielded his eyes from the rising sun, his breaths heavy and his heartbeat going along with the music still playing.

With his breathing back to normal after a short rest, Jaebum jogged this time back to his house. Arriving back home, he left his shoes by the door and made his way to the kitchen. He finds his dad making breakfast and he goes to the fridge to get some orange juice.

“Good morning dad.” Jaebum says, taking a sip of his drink.

“Mornin’ Jaebum.” his dad says, transferring what he made onto a plate.

“Jaeun, breakfast is ready!” his dad yelled out to his sister. His sister came a few minutes later.

The three of them ate their breakfast in silence. It had been like this since Jaebum’s mother passed away three years ago. She was the light of their family. Always having a smile gracing her face and nothing could bring her down. But then the accident happened. It was unexpected for everyone. The man didn’t see his mom on time in order to avoid her. She passed away on the spot.

Jaebum was only 14 at the time. He was in school when he got called out by the guidance counselor. A forlorn look graced his face. After hearing the news, Jaebum went numb. It spread throughout his body and his legs turned to jelly. He sat there outside of his classroom staring into the abyss of nothing. He didn’t hear the worries from the guidance counselor of from his friends when they showed up.

But he heard his mother’s voice.

He looked up to see her standing in front of him. She had a smile on her face. The one she had to show Jaebum that everything was going to be alright.

He was quiet on the way to the hospital. He didn’t say anything when he met up with his father and sister. He didn’t hear her loud sobs. He didn’t feel the reassuring hugs from his father. He felt nothing.

The funeral had gone by in a blur. He remembers nothing of it (not like he’d want to). But he does remember that night walking into the living room because he had noticed that the tv was on. And there was his father, sitting on the couch. Light sobs emitting from him. He was watching a video of his wedding day. On the screen was a scene of him and his wife saying their vows to each other. Of their eternal love for one another. Then the video showed a scene of them cutting their wedding cake and feeding a piece to each other. Another scene was shown of the couple slow dancing. His arms around his wife’s waist while her’s were around her husband’s neck. The video ended with them staring lovingly at each other and when the dance ended, they shared a kiss.    

Jaebum had stared at his father, his sobbing echoing in his ears. His father is a built man. A stern face always plastered on. Everyone would think that nothing would bother him, Jaebum had been one of those people to believe that. But that demeanor broke down. And Jaebum continued to stare at his father, reality hitting him hard. He had lost his mother and his father had lost his soulmate.
 

After breakfast Jaebum went up to his room. He sat on his desk chair. He stares at the Green Day album he’d bought yesterday. Instead of going straight home, Jaebum made a detour and wound up at the music store he’d gone to with Youngjae. He looked through the rows and stacks of albums until that particular album appeared. Jaebum recalled Youngjae talking about it and he remembered how the other sounded happy, his eyes lit up. And without a second thought, Jaebum bought the album.

He takes the CD out of the case and pops it into a stereo he found in the attic. He puts it to a medium volume and leans back into his chair. The music blares out of the speakers and bleeds into his ears. For each song he looks up the lyric translations and nods his head along to the music and he reads along. Jaebum listened to the whole album. He even listened to two other albums he’d found went looking the band up. He decided that he’d take a shower since he could start to smell the sweat of his morning run.

When he was done he walked back into his room and dried his hair with a blowdryer. Once finished he lay down on his bed, phone in hand and staring at Youngjae’s contact info. He also checked his messages thinking shamelessly that Youngjae would message him. He should be the one to send a message since he was at fault but he didn’t know what to say. An “I’m sorry.” sounds too insincere. Not enough thought was put into it. As he was about to put his phone down, it started ringing.

Half thinking that it was Youngjae, he answered the call, “Hello?”

“Jaebum!” Jackson’s obnoxious voice rang through the receiver. Jaebum quickly pulled the electronic device away from his ear.

“What do you want, Jackson?” Jaebum asked after putting the phone back against his ear.

“It’s the weekend, we should hang out like we always do.” Jackson said, “I’m here with Jinyoung going to pick you up.”

“I’m not feeling up for it Jackson, just go without me.” Jaebum rejected to offer. Going out with his friends didn’t sound like fun right now.

“Geez, that sounds too bad...but we’re already here.” And not long after, Jaebum hears his dad yelling to him that his friends are here. Rushed footsteps follow the announcement and Jaebum sighs as he continues to stay on his bed.

“Jaebum!” Jackson hollers out as the door is slammed open. He jumps on top of Jaebum while Jinyoung closes the door after entering behind him.

“Jackson get off!” Jaebum pushed his friend away who ends up on the floor.

Jackson pouts a bit but it’s quickly replaced with a wide smile, “We’re here to get you! It’s the weekend, time to go out and have some fun!” Jackson gets up from the floor and sits down on the bed this time.

Jaebum sits up and messes with his hair, “But I told you that I don’t feel like going anywhere.”

“Come on, just for a few hours. Okay?” Jackson pleaded.

“Yeah Jaebum, let’s go somewhere. De-stress or something.” Jinyoung added.

“But-” Jaebum started to say.

“No buts, let’s go.” And with that, Jackson was out the door.

Jaebum sighed in defeat and reluctantly followed his friends. He changed his clothes and told his dad that he was going out. Jackson was already in the passenger seat. He reached over and honked the horn, signalling for his friends to hurry up. With everyone settled into the car, Jinyoung drove off.

“Hey, where’s Mark?” Jaebum only now realizes that one of his friends is missing.

“He’s on a date with Yugyeom.” Jackson answered.

“Date?” Jaebum stares bewildered. He remembers Yugyeom as one of Youngjae’s friends and who told him off the other day.

“If you’re wondering how it happened, that have a class together. And they got to know each through there.” Jiyoung explained. Jaebum nodded his head that he understood and leaned back into his seat.

“So have you contacted Youngjae yet?” Jinyoung asked. They were at a red light and he turned around to look at his friend.

“No.” Jaebum decided to be truthful.

“If he had, he wouldn’t be with us or look to gloom.” Jackson said. He was swi