Chapter 1 - Winter song

Music: Winter song by Sara bareilles

Lee Hayi was a petite and charming girl that tended to pass most of her time taking care of her mother with affection. She prepared everything for her from clothes to warm delicate meals. Some might even say that she was the mother figure in her home. But she didn’t care about what others said of their situation. She loved her mother and that even if her mother didn’t love her.

‘’Hayi your mom loves you. It’s just hard, you know?’’, explained her father hesitantly without daring to meet her innocent gaze.

‘’I know’’, murmured the 12 years old Hayi ‘’I understand Dad’’

‘’ I know you would, you’re really daddy’s little girl after all‘’ He patted her head softly. Teary eyed, she looked at the sight of the back of her mom crying alone on her bed. Her dad looked at her one last time and closed the door of their bedroom.  She was then left alone in the corridor of their home. The little Hayi went to her room silently.

That day it started to snow for the first time in Seoul. Hayi remembered looking absently the flakes falling slowly from the sky. She only had her mother’s sobs in mind. ‘’I understand mom’’, she then muttered after looking at the family picture she had on her desk.

To this day she still kept her promise to try and understand her mother. Hayi was now 19 years old and in her first year of university in the Psychology department. ‘’I will always understand you and stay by your side mom’’, she said sweetly while arranging the blankets over her mom. She placed a freshly made breakfast on the desk next to the bed of her parents. ‘’So pretty…’’Slowly, she flattered the sleeping face of  Bom.

‘’Be careful to not wake her up’’, said the deep toned voice of her dad.

‘’Ah, dad you’re awake already!’’ She hugged him and he took her in his arms with tenderness.

Her dad was a strange and awkward man in everything he did. Therefore, Seunghyung never became a perfectly loving father because it took him time to adapt to this newly found status. But when he was around her mom, he became a totally different person even Hayi could tell how much he loved her. Perhaps she didn’t have a perfect family comparable to the ones she saw in all those fairy tales she read alone as a kid. But what she could say without a doubt was that even after 19 years; her parents still loved each other to death.

‘’ I’m going to an exposition; I will be back by 7. Take care of your mom but I know I don’t have to worry.’’

‘’Don’t worry dad but don’t forget to eat before you go.’’

‘’it’s okay, I am a little bit in a rush. You go eat instead, I will say goodbye to your mom.’’

She then left both of her parents alone, closing carefully the door behind her. Hayi already knew that her dad was probably murmuring sweet nothings in the ear of her sleeping mom and kissed her forehead with warmth by now. It was the same sweet routine every morning.  A sweet routine that made Hayi somehow jealous but she didn’t know exactly why. Maybe she was jealous because she still didn’t find such a pure and true love herself? She entered her room to lay down a bit and stare at the ceiling. Suddenly, she heard rocks being thrown on her window. She already knew who it was. Annoyed, she opened her windows and looked down. Here he was standing with a stupid smile stuck on his face, Kim Hanbin. Her neighbour and childhood best friend.

‘’Hayi look!’’

‘’Look at what?’’

‘’The snow.’’, he then pitched a snowball in her direction but luckily it missed her.

‘’Don’t you dare throw another one Kim Hanbin!’’

‘’Kay’ but ladder please, its cold outside you see.’’

‘’Hayi, I’ll go now take care! ‘’ Screamed her dad from downstairs in front of their doorstep.

At the sound of the voice of her father she closed the windows immediately and responded.

‘’ Yes take care and it’s snowing don’t forget to wear a coat.’’

She then waited until Seunghyung was completely out of the house. Instantly after she heard him close the door, Hayi opened up the gigantic windows once again.

‘’Woah, I almost thought you were going to leave me out here to die.’’

‘’ Some guy’s would be so jealous to know that I don’t Netflix and Chill. Instead I’m being ignored while chilling with my childhood best friend every day. Basically living the life.’’

Hayi was casually browsing through her school notes but she then glanced at him with an obvious distaste in her eyes.

‘’I am not obligating you to be friend with me Hanbin.’’

‘’Sure, I know but did I complain?’’, he then proceeded to chew the gum in his mouth nonchalantly.

‘’I don’t know, you tell me because that surely didn’t sound like you weren’t.’’

He offered her one of those knowing smirks he always did when he found her amusing. Kim Hanbin didn’t exactly fit with the quiet and shy individual that was Hayi. But it didn’t stop him to at least try. They’ve known each other since primary school even if Hayi didn’t exactly go to the same school has him for a very long time. She had been homeschooled for the majority of her life until the age of 17. Meaning she came in the middle of their high school senior year. Not exactly, the perfect time to transfer but at least she had him to adapt. Hanbin was already strongly established in their school and even considered like one of the popular kid’s. It became easily known all around the school to not around with the new girl or they would hear from him. He was a naturally born troublemaker without a single doubt.  Trouble never seemed too far away from him. Although, he did had dreams.  Big dreams. He wanted to become a renowned rapper but right now he was still underground. Thinking about his musical career was making him wonder about the dreams of his best friend. He often wondered what does she really aspire to be. A psychologist just wasn’t cutting it for him.

‘’10 years and you still can’t detect my sarcasm, adorable’’, he picked up one of her pillows and laid down dramatically on her bed.

‘’Could you be a little bit more tactful? My mom is still sleeping’’

‘’Obviously she is, when isn’t she… Hayi can I ask you something?’’

‘’Go ahead’’, said Hi while reading attentively her notes.

‘’When was the last time she even looked you in the eyes?’’

Abruptly, she closed her handbook. Hanbin turned his head to see her face more clearly. She was sitting so rigidly he couldn’t even see her correctly. But he knew she had once again the same cold and sad expression she always seemed to bear lately.

‘’Why do you always ask such unnecessary stuff?’’

‘’Maybe because I care. Maybe because I am done watching her pretend to sleep all day when she’s clearly avoiding you. Maybe because I am done watching you believe in the words of your ed up dad’’

Hayi had mixed feelings after the sudden declaration of Hanbin. She didn’t know what to respond. No, she did know what to respond but she wasn't capable of doing it.

‘’ You better get out of my house now and never come back again! How dare you even mention my wife with your filthy little mouth and on top of that fill the head of my daughter with your hateful remarks bastard!!! It will be the last time that I tell you to stay away from my daughter you rascal.’’

Without their knowing Seunghyung came back to get his scarf but the moment he heard noises upstairs, he knew something was wrong. Unfortunately, for Hanbin he heard every single word he said. Blinded by his rage he took violently the collar of the young man’s shirt and hit him multiple times against the wall.

‘’Dad! Stop please! MOOOM.’’, choked Hayi tearful.

Hayi turned around and she saw her distressed mom looking at the scene with a serene expression. Lee Park Bom was standing at the doorstep of her daughter’s room for the first time in almost 6 years. Hesitantly, she walked in the room and touched the forearm of Seunghyung. Instantly, a peaceful feeling invaded him. She always was the answer every time he let his anger take over. He dropped Hanbin on the ground immediately.

‘’ Let’s go drink some green tea’’, she said softly while patting tenderly his arm.

Bom didn’t look in the direction of Hanbin or Hayi when she exited the room with her husband.

‘’ Why is it that she just keeps to avoid you? Even when you’re clearly in her presence.’’

‘’You don’t understand.’’

Author's note:

Double updapte in one day I feel a bit encouraged to have 18 subscribers even after 2 days ! So I will keep it up but it would be nice to know what you guys think of the story so far :/. Anyways i'll probably updapte a lot this week and the next week after !