“And then I looked up at the sun
and I could see
Oh, the way that gravity pulls on you and me
And then I looked up at the sky
and saw the sun
And the way that gravity pushes on everyone
On everyone.”

- Coldplay

For Taeyeon, today’s events aren’t as bad as she thought it would. For instance, it just started raining a couple of minutes ago.

Not that she was feeling depressingly emo by the drearily emotional lunch with Tiffany after officially ending their one-year and five month relationship, because it’s actually the opposite. Taeyeon felt free, as if a heavy weight has been lifted off her shoulders, and now she has all the time in the world to think about other things. Even though she never once felt abused whilst dating Tiffany, the thought of hiding her feelings inside and silently accepting the reality that the American-born ‘love of her life’ is in love with someone else was already torture.

Taeyeon is happy for Tiffany, and she was sincere about it. And the fact that Nickhun is actually Tiffany’s long time friend made it easy for Taeyeon to let go. The boy’s got the charms, the body, the looks and the attitude. Who wouldn’t fall for him?

But no matter how happy Taeyeon felt for the girl, it doesn’t mean that she wasn’t feeling sad about it.

Sighing contently, Taeyeon sipped on her freshly ordered mug of hot chocolate and set it back down on the table. Luckily for her, her choice of attire was a pastel-colored wool sweater and black denim jeans, patting herself in the back for not screwing up or else she’ll have to face the evil temperatures of Antartica that is the coffee shop.

Taeyeon fished out her phone from her pocket, and started checking her friends’ group chat to see if they responded the news about TaeNy’s breakup. The reactions are as follows:

Sooyoung: WAIT WTF WHAT IS THIS

Kwon Yuri: KIM TAEYEON WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS

SeoJuhyun: HUHHhhhhh unnieeee whyyyy

Hyoyeon: U GOTTA BE TING ME RIGHT KIM

Hyoyeon: U AREN’T HUH

Hyoyeon: WHY WOULD U RUINED TAENY!!!

Sunny Sunkyu: are u serious???

Sunny Sunkyu: OMG IM STILL NOT OVER ZAYN LEAVING 1D AND NOW THIS

Im Yoona: YAAHHH UNNIE WHY DID U BREAK UP WITH FANY UNNIE???

Im Yoona: Are u out of ur mind right now????

Taeyeon chuckled at the mixed reactions from her friends, realizing that she has yet to explain the real reason as to why she broke things off with Tiffany. Saving the story for another day, she mentally noted herself in order to tell the others after a few days. Because right now, she needed some time to think and get her pot of emotions intact before she really breaks down inside of a cafe with complete strangers all around her.

Exiting the group chat, she was about to lock her phone when she noticed a notification pop up indicating a new incoming message. Checking back on her Kakao, she opened up the chatroom and read the message. Finally recognizing who messaged her, it made sense to Taeyeon as she felt that someone in particular wasn’t responding to the news in the group chat.

Jessica Jung: Just read the group chat. U have some explaining to do, Kim Taeyeon

...

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Taeyeon waited in front of the house where Jessica Jung currently in resides along with hundreds of homes scattered around the neighborhood. The area was quiet and peaceful, accompanied by the cold air from the rain that ended not too long ago. Fiddling with her fingers, she felt her anxiety increasing as she came up with hundreds and hundreds of theories on Jessica’s reaction towards the news. Just like her other friends, Taeyeon hasn’t told Jessica any little detail regarding the backstory of the breakup.

It’s true that she and Jessica had been friends longer than anyone else has, so long to the point of knowing things like her favorite fashion brand, favorite time to sleep, favorite shampoo and soap and among other things, so Taeyeon has a slight image of what Jessica might say to her later on. Nevertheless, she still gets scared whenever the girl’s in a bad mood or on her period. But usually, Jessica’s period mood swings are a living hell.

Hearing fainted footsteps coming closer to the front door, Taeyeon readied herself for the upcoming storm and saw the door opening. Jessica came into view not a moment later, showing a surprisingly unreadable expression which still freightens Taeyeon. Silently gulping, Taeyeon let out an awkward smile and waved slightly. “Hey-yo.”

Jessica raised an eyebrow, but shrug afterwards. “Well, at least you’re not that late. Come in.” Taeyeon nodded, taking off her shoes and step forward into Jessica’s humble abode.

It’s always the feel of the atmosphere Taeyeon always gets everytime she comes and visit Jessica’s house. The soft-colored walls radiaiting a mixture of pink and orange, wooden floor tiles, the minimalistic design and how every furniture is symmetrical towards a wall or a corner, the different paintings Jessica bought from the newest IKEA store a few blocks away. She often wondered why the girl didn’t chose the Interior Design or Architecture major during their college years, but then again, Taeyeon knew how horribly horrendous Jessica’s scores in Math were in high school.

“Not to be a jackass, but you’re kinda like the second owner of this house so you probably shouldn’t stare at my living room for too long,” Jessica said, smiling sadly at Taeyeon walking behind her. “God, I don’t know how long has it been since you last came here.”

“Probably, like, four or five months ago,” Taeyeon stated, trying to recall a memory of her being in Jessica’s house from the past. Realizing that she followed the girl into the kitchen, she decided to go straight to the point. “So, you wanna hear what’s up?”

“Hm?” Jessica hummed after opening the fridge and pull out two cans of beer, then closing it with her hip. “Oh, yeah, I forgot. We’re here not to talk about Taengsic anyways, so start explaining,” Jessica said as she set down the beers in front of the bar table, opening her can and started drinking it. With a satisfied sigh, Jessica sat down on a chair and draw attention to Taeyeon. “You’re not drinking?”

Taeyeon shook her head. “Nah, I’m trying to tone it down. Low alcohol tolenrance, all that bizz. I’ll get a glass of water later.”

Jessice nodded understandingly, drumming her fingers on the table. “Alright, so let’s get to the point here.” She stared directly at the other girl which causes Taeyeon to quiver in her seat. “I’ve known you and Tiffany for years now. And so far, everything you guys been dealing with for over a year now has been fine. Now, why the hell would you, out of nowhere and in the middle of the day, just randomly break up with my best friend who I’ve known since ing pre-school like it’s some ing piece of cake?”

This is the Jessica that Taeyeon predicted. Angry, vulgar, and horrifying. It’s as if she’s being interrogated by the Devil. She felt small, weak, hopeless, thinking that there is no way back and this is the consequences of to whatever she had done in this short life of hers. Taeyeon gulped, hesitated to utter a single word at first.

“Look, I-“

“You what? Found someone better than her? I’ll tell you, Taeyeon, I’ve encountered all the guys Tiffany had dated before and your explanation might come close to all the bull I’ve heard from those s,” Jessica sharply spoke, not sparing a single glance away from Taeyeon. “So do help me please, my ears are ready for your story now-”

Anger filled the insides of Taeyeon’s chest, not being able to control it any longer as she banged the kitchen table with her hand furiously. Jessica seemed to be taken aback by the sudden action, looking at the other with surprised and slightly frightful eyes.

Taeyeon took her time to calm her rapidly beating heart, but still unable to surpass all the emotions swirling inside her. “You wanna know why I did it? Do you really wanna know why I broke things off with Miyoung?” Pause. “She fell in love with Nickhun, that’s why.”

Jessica couldn’t believe her ears. “What?”

“You heard me, Jung Sooyeon, don’t make me repeat myself,” Taeyeon bitterly spat. That shut Jessica’s mouth up as she’s absolutely terrified to even spoke a word. “I love her. I love her with all my heart, and I still do. I let her go because that’s what she needed. That’s what we both needed. I can’t keep ing around with my feelings anymore, I can’t keep lying to myself, because after all this is over, she’s gonna be with Nickhun. She’ll be happy with him, no doubt about that. Why? Because I saw it. I saw the little hints, their little charades, and if I don’t do something about it now, then I can call myself a jackass for the rest of my life.”

Taeyeon felt tears streaming down her face, but didn’t even care a single bit. “I don’t hate Tiffany. And I never intended to. All the little imperfections she has, all the smallest to biggest mistakes she has done ever since she came into my life are all forgiven. Because I never could be angry at her, no matter how hard I tried.” Laughing out bitterly, she continued, “But I just wish she could’ve told me earlier. So I would come prepared, and won’t feel as ty as of now.”

The quiet ambience of the kitchen table resonated for a short amount of time, with Jessica trying to make sense of the situation right now. She truly couldn’t believe her ears and eyes.

Taeyeon sniffed, wiping her eyes and nose as she chuckled bitterly. “Now that I think about it, I’ll have that beer, thank you.”