Xiao's POV

I'm so stupid! All because of me, Wooshin hyung feels insecure! I'm the worst dongsaeng in the entire world! How could I ever make it up to him...

Before I could think further, everyone else came into the room and we had to start dance practice. After a few run-throughs, we take a water break. I sit down in my usual spot with Hwanhee and gulp down water hungrily. Looking over at Wooshin hyung, I see water dribble down his smooth neck before disappearing into the neckline of his shirt. I suddenly feel my cheeks redden considerably and turn back to Hwanhee. 

Surely it's not normal for me to feel that...but we aren't allowed to date and we've only been in contact with other guys for a few years, I guess such feelings should be a phase.

I snap out of my thoughts and my best friend and I talk and laugh as per usual before Kuhn called us to continue practice. We get into position and get ready to go through the same old routine.

The music boomed loudly and reverberated throughout the room, bouncing off the walls and echoing a million times. The sound of footsteps was synchronized and deafening, but at the same reminding us that we were dancing as team.

I glanced at Wooshin hyung, feeling guilty yet again, but I find myself entranced by his dancing form. Graceful, sharp and cool all at once, I guess I never really noticed how good of a dancer hyung was, another thing I should tell him.

We hit the chorus again and Hwanhee virtually tries to rip my shirt right off me, flashing my newly obtained abs to all the members. I feel someone was staring at me and I search for eye contact in the mirror, only to lock eyes with Wooshin hyung. If only he'd stop being insecure about his body, I mean look at his beautiful face! That basically beats everything that I have combined! I still feel so guilty...I'll make it up to him somehow, that's for sure!

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Wooshin's POV

How can someone so young have so much appeal?! This is seriously infuriating, I feel like I can't even look at him without blushing like some idiotic school girl. There's got to be a way to get rid of this stupid crush before I ruin our friendship by doing something really awkward that makes him hate me forever!

I unconsciously look out for the chorus, for when Hwanhee does the smartest thing that I've ever seen him do, which is lift Xiao's shirt up his upper body. 

We bend forward, do the all to familiar body wave and I feel eyes wandering to Xiao. 

Hwanhee's naughty hands reveal those white chocolate abs once again and I subconsciously my lips. If only he were mine, I'd be able to do whatever I wanted to him...

His shirt falls back down and I start observing his dancing. Such crisp and controlled movements, something I could never achieve. I was just the visual, working to become a good vocalist just so I wouldn't be labeled a useless pretty face. My dancing was no where near as good Bitto or Xiao or even Wei. 

All of a sudden, I feel like I don't belong in this group, that I wasn't good enough. I guess I sang decently, but compared to Sunyoul or Hwanhee, my voice was just so amateur. I guess didn't have to compete with anyone for the title of visual, but really it's kind of useless. I get put at the front of the formation sometimes just for that reason, but I don't really fit in at the front. It's heartbreaking, but for once I realize what a lack of talent I have in this group. Funny to think all these thoughts stemmed from Xiao showing me his abs. Having him tell me I was talented felt really good I'm not going to lie, but just because he says so doesn't make it a fact. 

We get to the bridge of the song and I kneel down the middle of the formation like I have countless of times before. I wasn't going to sing live in the practice room, so I gaze at my reflection in the huge mirrors for those few seconds. I let out an involuntary sigh as I wonder why I got that part of the song. Sunyoul or Kogyeol should have gotten it, someone that's a better singer than me. I've always thought my voice was bland, without a distinct tone like Hwanhee or an extensive range like Sunyoul. How can I even call myself a vocal in front of them?

The song continues and I get up from the ground, the two main vocalists letting loose their two high notes. The two decided to practise singing the high notes occasionally during practice to train for live singing, which every time still gives me goosebumps despite the fact that I've seen it so often. Why couldn't I do that? Why couldn't I be called a main vocal? I don't think any amount of vocal training could give me such skill.

The song comes to an end with me at the fron again as we unravel our fingers in the last pose. Once again, I question. Why was I at the front? It doesn't make sense to me. 

Practice ends for the day and the pounding of footsteps was thunderous as we ran our way out of the practice rooms, piling into two vans to head back to the dorms. I drag my tired body across the leather seats, retreating into a corner of the van and closing my eyes. Seconds later, I feel a warm body curl up beside me. 

"Hyung, lie down my lap, I know you're tired."

I smile gratefully at Xiao, accepting his offer and resting my head on his legs. I stare up at his face as his eyes focused on the road ahead, noting his sleepy drooping eyes and chapped lips. I become suddenly aware of the muscle in his legs and the content smile he wore as he chatted quietly with Hwanhee beside him. My consciousness slowly fades, but before I could drift off to dreamland, I feel the touch of Xiao's hand brushing my hair away from my forehead. 

"I love you just the way you are, hyung."

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The trip between the practice rooms and our dorm takes about twenty minutes, giving me time to take a short nap. A bump in the road jolts me awake, but I keep my eyes closed, reveling in the hand still my hair tenderly. I couldn't help smiling a little.

"I wonder what hyung's dreaming of. He seems pretty happy don't you think?" Xiao says with a giggle.

"He's probably thinking about going on a long walk on the beach with you- Ow ow ow!" Hwanhee cried. I imagine him clutching his arm where Xiao must have pinched him. Violent as always. I almost chuckled at my thoughts, but managed to keep quiet.

"Do you want to wake him up! And no, Wooshin hyung wouldn't be dreaming about me you idiot!" Xiao whisper-shouts, his hand stopped caressing my hair.

"Why did you stop?" I said in my groggy husky just-woke-up voice, rubbing my eyes as i struggled to focus on Xiao's face.

I registered the faintest of blushes, as he continued what he was doing. I let out a barely audible moan in pleasure at the mini massage, not missing the blush on his face deepening. I close my eyes again, unknowingly turning to my left, my face dangerously close to Xiao's crotch. I hear Xiao's muffled squeal before falling asleep again.

I breathe in and out heavily in my sleep, feeling completely at bliss sleeping on my secret crush's lap.

~~~~~~~~

Xiao's POV

Are you serious right now? Really? 

I shiver slightly in pleasure as Wooseok hyung nuzzled rather violently into my crotch. I resist the urge to wake him and ask him to stop, feeling an incoming 'problem' about to occur. What kind of situations am I getting myself into at the age of 16?

I glance to my right, only to see Hwanhee fast asleep. Whew, at least he won't see my little 'predicament' should this keep progressing.

Hyung stopped moving and I calmed down, thankfully. 

I study his beautiful face, smiling sadly. He was so handsome, kind, caring and so much more, yet I see him comparing himself to the other members during practice. His glances towards the vocalists during their high notes, his look of envy at the rappers, and observation of Bitto during his random bursts of freestyle during breaks.

I was slowly but surely falling for my hyung, but the fluttery feeling in my heart was often replaced by a dark dread, whenever I realise the impossibility of the situation. 

I brush the tip of my thumb across his soft lips, wishing forlornly for him to feel the same way, for society to deem such relationships normal, for him to at least see what I feel for him. 

But that would never happen, definitely.