Hello my friends! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been having exam times and just started my two month school holidays so yeah... But on a brighter note, I got almost all As for my exams WHOOHOOO KOOKIES FOR EVERYBODY 

...

Yeah on to the story...

Chapter 4

3rd Person POV

"...and it's finally done!" 

Wooshin rubbed his hands together unconsciously as he studied the finished track on the display of the brightly lit monitors. 

His self-produced track was finally done and ready to submit to PD-nim. He was incredibly proud of what he had completed, but could only hope that PD-nim would like it. Like it enough to put it on their next album of course.

The studio was once again dim and gloomy, aside from the computer monitors, making it a perfect place for Wooshin to hide from the world, just his music and him. If he wasn't playing his song on the high quality speakers, the studio was also rather quiet, with only the whirring of air conditioning constantly filling the room with an annoying buzzing sound. 

Wooshin sometimes felt lonely in the week he had spent in the studio composing and producing alone, what with the cave-like qualities of the room. Xiao only came to visit on that first day, since everyone who wasn't challenging song writing was flitting around the members who were, checking on their progress.

Wooshin wished that Xiao would have come and accompany him more often, although he knew that it was selfish of him. 

Just as he was about to switch off the computers, the sound of the doors opening broke the silence.

"Hyung!"

Wooshin could recognize that voice anywhere. It was none other than the boisterous maknae himself, Xiao.

"Hyung, is your song complete?"

"I guess so. I've finished the backing track and recorded the demonstration."

"Can I hear it? Pretty please?" Xiao asked with his aegyo switched on at level 9999.

Wooshin found himself pressing the play button without a second thought.

The music poured from the speakers, almost like a wave of sound, enveloping the two in the song.

Wooshin cringed as he heard his own voice singing the lyrics he had written all those years ago. He was hoping that someone would be able to sing the demonstration for him, but he neglected to ask any of the main vocalists in fear that they would judge his work harshly.

Wooshin looked over at Xiao, biting his lip in nervousness.

Would he like it? Is it even good?

He got the answer to his question when Xiao turned around and gave him a huge beaming smile. 

Wooshin's heart filled with warmth like how hot chocolate would warm one up in the winter time, and he couldn't help but smile right back at him.

"Hyung, this is great! You're so talented, really!" Xiao clapped his hands while word after word of compliment flowed out of his pink, delicious, kissable lips...

Wooshin caught himself staring again before Xiao noticed, thankfully.

"It IS the first song I made, so it's not that polished. But I'm glad you like it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 The sound of a forlorn sigh filled the bathroom.

Wooshin stood in front of the mirror in the dorm bathroom. He ran his fingers through his bright red hair, scrutinizing his reflection.

He stared at his scrawny arms, his uneven eyelids, his thin legs and his lack of abdominal muscle.

"Why couldn't I be muscular like Xiao and Jinhoo? Or why couldn't I have a more manly face like Kuhn? Sigh..."

Wooshin gazed at the porcelain white of the sink, critising himself over and over.

He gritted his teeth as he pulled on his hair, frustrated. He fought the urge to scream aloud, but he would wake the other members.

He took a deep breath and calmed himself down, but he realized when he looked into the mirror...

Tears tracks ran down his face, his eyes outlined with a faint line of red.

He hated himself. Honestly, truthfully, Wooshin hated himself. He despised how he had the inability to create muscle, how he lacked a distinct vocal tone, how he couldn't dance as skillfully as the other members. He was a jack of all trades, but a master of none.

"How childish of me, crying all by myself while everyone else is asleep..."

He let out another exasperated sigh, leaning his weight on the sink. 

There were many nights like this, just him and his thoughts. While the night was silent, he was having a fight with himself, his subconscious to be exact. There was always a little demon inside him that constantly reminded him of all his shortcomings, reminded him that he was always a lesser human being to all his friends. 

Wooshin was tired, tired of his own mind that was trying to kill him slowly, thought by thought. He was tired of-

Wooshin's eyes snapped over to the door knob.

Someone was trying to get in...

The door was pushed open, the creak of wood deafening in the complete silence, revealing a groggy sleepy Xiao.

"Hyung, it's late, what are you still doing up-"

Xiao's eyes suddenly widened as he noticed the many clear tracks of where salty tears had stained Wooshin's face.

"Wooshin hyung! What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Xiao rushed over to Wooshin's side, embracing him as best as he could with his height disadvantage.

"Hyung, what happened?" Xiao whispered, rubbing small circles on Wooshin's back through the the thin material of his shirt. 

Wooshin didn't answer, but continued breathing heavily into Xiao's shoulder, fresh tears renewing the drying streams of previous salty droplets.

Xiao could do nothing but hug Wooshin tighter, reassuring him that he was right by his side.

"Surely, you aren't comparing yourself to the other members again?"

Xiao heard a sharp intake of breath on his right shoulder, telling him that he had guessed right.

"Hyung, didn't I say you were perfect? You don't need to change anything about yourself, alright?"

Xiao pushed Wooshin away from his shoulder gently, tilting his chin up with a single finger and staring into his eyes.

"Stop crying, hyung. I don't like seeing you like this."

Xiao raised his hand and wiped a singular tear from Wooshin's cheek with his thumb.

Wooshin stopped breathing as he closed his eyes. He felt a serene calm take over his initial anxiety. He seemed to feel safe in Xiao's arms, for reasons he was unsure of. 

Xiao pulled him closer once again, and Wooshin felt his face come into contact with Xiao's nearly bare shoulder, only a thin tank top covering his smooth skin,

Wooshin unknowingingly nuzzled into the crook of Xiao's shoulder and neck, his breathing finally slowing to a reasonable pace. The scent of his Xiao - dammit he knew that'd never happen - gave him solace in the cruel world he himself had created. It was a relief from the reality that pained Wooshin so much, even for just a little.

"Thanks, maknae. You have no idea how much this means to me..."