09/25/2015, 7:50AM

"Yah! Sleeping beauty, wake up!" I was suddenly thrown out of bed and on to the soft wood flooring. Don't be fooled by the name, it was a hard landing. I was still rubbing my eyes as I stood up, to an ungrateful site to see in the morning. Manager Nam, a man in his late 4o's, who looked fairly young for his age but he has a serious case of that "judging you extra hard" look. He held out 5 minutes as a sign of a time limit and he walked out of the room. A "Good morning" would be nice you know. I grabbed a white V-neck shirt and put it on my, still groggily body and slipped on my black sweat pants. 

I walked down the steps and jumped over the railing at the third step. I opened the fridge and grabbed a can of Coke and before I can even get a drip of it in my mouth, it was taken away from me. "What are you doing? You have your recording for your new single!" He told me as he put the can back in the fridge. I noticed that he had a white, plastic bag filled with soju bottles from last night. "By the way, make my job easier and drink under 5 bottles." He advised and threw the bag in the recycling. "How can a young guy like you hold that much alcohol?" He mumbled under her breath. It's not my fault.

We were walking out of the lobby and just at one glance outside the glass windows, I can tell that all Hell will break loose when I take one step out that door. Don't these girls have school? Good thing I was wearing sunglasses to protect me from their flashes from their iPhones and professional looking cameras. 

Just as I was expecting, Hell broke loose. The girls screams were deafening and they were reaching their hands out to touch and I swear one of them slapped my . I hoped that this doesn't become a big issue I could not handle anymore press confrences. I accepted their gifts though, I had too. My manager gave me the O.K to take some pictures with them. 

"Oppa! Can you wish me good luck on my college exams?!" One of the fangirls yelled at me. "Good luck on all of your exams!" I yelled at everyone of the girls and honestly, this plastered smile was getting tired. I waved them goodbye as I walked inside of the van. As soon I was inside and closed the door I took of my sunglasses and threw the presents aside, with my "smile".

"Nam hyung, what's the scehdule today?" I asked in a monotone but loud enough for him to hear me since he was driving , not looking forward for my own Hell to start. "You have a meeting with the boss once you get there and the rest of the day is recording and dance rehersals." I know it sounds easy but I usually come home at 1:00 in the morning and repeats the next day and it doesn't help when you have a sprained ankle. 

"What's the meeting about?" I asked, even though I probably know the answer to it. "You're latest scandal." He blankly told me. Knew it. 

I looked over to the displaced presents and I decided to open one of the letters. I opened of of them that was shaped as a heart. 

"Dear Daesung Oppa," You think you're that close to me to call me by my real name? "I'm your number one fan ever since you debuted. Do you remember me? I was the girl you winked at your concert in Busan." How can I possibly remember one fan? "I hope you can perform for your fans and you can definatley expect your number one fan there. I love you oppa. Fighting! From your future girlfriend." After I read the last comment!, I scoffed, I barely know you and you think you can be my girlfriend?

I threw the letter back where it was and red box with a white bow on it. I opened it and revealed a bunch of homemade chocolates. "Do these guys want me to bloat up like a cartoon character?" I asked myself and put the cover back on and placed it back on chair. "Daesung-ah, just be glad that they went through a lot of effort to make you gifts." He told me I just cracked a grin. "Then last week that fan must've put of a lot of effort to break in my house to just leave their underwear on my bed." I reminded him again.

"Do you always have to put a dark side to a bright side?" He asked me, obviously not liking my attitude. "WIth the life I'm living, there's always a dark side." Before he can open his mouth again I plugged in my earphones and blasted my music and laid my head on the window. 

The door unexpectedly sild open and I literally almost fell on the hard concrete ground. Oh, so that's why there's seatbelts... 

I left the gifts there on the seat and climbed step down from the vehicle and I look at the tall building in front of me, with the sun still rising the building looked like something you would see in a movie. But to me it's a prison. I know to mere dreamer this building could be compared as the holy grail of entertainment companies. But I wish those dreamers well, because they only see the surface. 

"Hyung, you can keep the presents." I told him as we walked inside the building. He had set me free since he told me the schedule and he has more business to deal with the latest scandal. 

The elevator door opened and revealed the person I hate the most. "DaeDae!" She shrieked at me. I just silently entered the death trap.

This is going to be long ride. 

Instead of the typical boring elevator music, our elevators played the other SM artists music and it was playing EXO's "Love Me Right". I'm not the biggest fan of EXO but some of the guys I'm close with like Yixing and Suho. The rest are, how do I say it? Oh, yeah. Meh. I was enjoying the music when I felt someone (obvious) poking me. I grabbed her wrist which made her stop.

"What?" I asked, not too pleased to see her. She didn't respond, she just pointed at her wrist. I released her from grip and she just rubbed it to make it feel better. 

"Wow. You gained a lot of strength when you went away." She told me with a smile. She always smiles when I try to make her feel hurt. Sometimes I wonder why can't she just get mad at me for one. I mean, that was my intention when I came back. "Anyways, since you're in the middle of your preperations with your comeback, you must be tired, right? So, let's go out and eat tteokbokki. My treat. Like, the old days." I laughed at her offer. Thinking that we can go back to the old days and I would go out with her. 

"I can't eat oily stuff." I informed her. She just let out a soft "oh". I took a deep breath and started to shake my leg. I'm pretty sure that it takes at least under a minute to reach the top floor. "But you used to love eating tteokbokki. Please DaeDae?" She asked me. 

I pushed her against the wall of the elevator. I knew that the camera inside this elevator was not working, so I knew that this wasn't going to get exposed for this. I slammed my hands beside both sides of her faces and leaned my face closer to hers. From the look of her face she was slightly suprised about my actions. I just laughed under my breath. 

My eyes travelled from her lips, nose and then to her brown eyes. They looked scared mixed with another emotion that I couldn't describe. She almost looked like she was looking forward for what's going to happen yet, sad for some reason. Does that make sense? I was confused but I didn't let that show on my face. I enjoyed her quivering in front of me. It's one of the things that makes me smile these days.

Did it seem a bit like a monster? Maybe. But I lived long enough to notice that I was slowly transforming to one.

"Don't call me by that name. You can call me that when you actually know me." I retorted and with each word I leaned closer to her, where our lips were only an inch from touching each others. "I-I do know you." She stuttered.

"You know nothing about me." I whispered in her ear. I heard the ding from the elevator that it was my floor. I retracted myself from her so that no one wil see what were doing. But when I was about to walk away, she pressed the button to make the doors close. "I do know you." She stated more confidently than before. 

"I know that you're nervous you would always rub your hands together, you actually wear glasses but wear contacts even though you hated them, I always had to tie your shoes until you were 9 because you get confuse with the hoops. Plus, back home whenever you needed to think you would always go to Deokjin Park and lay down in the middle of the gazebo, the same gazebo where we celebrated your 15th birthday." She listed and with each true fact she spurted out she took a step closer to me. I was impressed by her boldness. But knowing her she wasn't finished talking. "Do you want to know how I remember? It's because I'm your best friend." She told me like it was the right answer.

Deng! You're wrong.

"That's when you're wrong. Because I don't remember anything, because I'm not your best friend." 

8:05AM 

I was waiting inside of the bosses office. I was sittinf in front of his shiney, mahagony table. I was just playing Flappy Bird on my iPhone. The bird didn't even touch the pole! 

I got a text from Nam Hyung, saying that my appointment was delayed to 9. Great, just great. I have to spend another hour in this hell hole. The door creaked open and I put my phone back in my pocket.

The boss did not look so pleased wtih me. He sat in hischair and prompt his elbows on his shoulders. 

"Do you know why we're here today?" He asked me as he showed me his laptop screen that showed a headline of a gossip article. 

JD In A Relationship?

The new Hallyu star has been spotted on a date with a mysterious beauty!

He took of his glasses and took a deep sight. I rolled my eyes as my eyes scanned the article. The paparazzi really can't get their paycheck if they write about this garbage.

"Dating? I told you that you can't start dating until we needed to boost up your popularity!" He scolded me. I wasn't phased with what he was saying. I was annoyed. I know that this is the life that I signed myself for and this was just one of the consecquences. 

"Didn't you read your fancafe comments?" He asked me as he, what I assumed, was on my fancafe. I knew about comments, I just got bored reading them. I mean, they can't be more creative with their words. 

"Oppa, I thought you said you're not going to date anyone?" The company said that. 

"Didn't you say that we're the only special women of your life?" Never. You're just delusional. 

"Daesungie, you're not getting married unless I', walking down the aisle!" I never even see you in my life, well not what I knonw of. 

"You see what this is doing to your fanbase? We lost over 4.000 members! You cannont date as long as you are in my possession. You only debuted because of the Tao issue! I gave you a chance of the lifetime and you're just wasting it on this one damn girl! Are you crazy?! After all of the money I spent on you, you think you can just betray me like this?"

I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and slammed my hands on the desk. I heard a cracking sound. But despite my firery galre in my eyes, he sat there with a stone cold face.

"You don't think I know that? I don't give a about how many fans I lost! Can I even still call them that? Don't you remember the break in, where one of those "fans" broke in my own house to just leave their pair of their used underwear? Their ing underwear for god sake! So what?!" I yelled at him,

"I can date whomever I want! Do you know how jealous I feel when I see couples my age, holding hands and smiling with each other? Of course you don't. You don't have to be scared to even make eye contact with the girl. To feel scared to go to sleep at night because a sasaeng will break in my own home again. You obviously don't know what life I'm living." I spat him with venom in my voice. 

"You think I care about how you're feeling?" He asked me and a sadistic laughter echoed through the room. "I don't care about any of that. All I care about are the fans who pay good money to see you. The you that I created. You're supposed to the innocent and sweet "boy next door" and now with this, you're a total casanova to them. Remember you're their oppa." He informed me.

This is why we don't have cameras in here. 

"Their oppa? Is that what I am now, an object. Let's be honest, there are actual fans who knows their boundaries and then there's downright crazy, delusional ones who will do anything and everything to get a chance with me. They think I'm their actual lover because they are just lonely and once they see a good looking guy on TV singing about love. They think they can take possession of me because I'm singing it to them. In reality, I don't mean any of the words I'm singing because I don't have any experiences with actual love. With her, I can actually feel alive and not dead." By now, I was clenching my fist that they were turning to white. 

"Well, you better work on your acting skills. You're going to have to keep feeling that way, to make your fans happy. Because when they're happy, I'm happy. You know why? Because they pay me almost a thousand dollars a month, to see you every month. My intentions are still set on my goal." Like I actually care about how much I'm worth. 

"Don't you already know that because of this, every innocent and pure dreamer who comes in here, leave you as a monster. Kris hyung, Tao hyung, Kibum hyung, Sulli, and so many more are free right now from you clutches but are still binded to you, making them probably more miserable. I've been a trainee longer than I have when debuted and even back then I hated you." He stood up and made eye contact closer to my face, with his piercing and suffocating gaze.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. But as long as your name is signed to this contract," He opened his desk drawer and revealed the contract I made with this devil. "you're in my hands for the next 10 years."

Now I had nothing else to say, he was right. This is the reason why they call them "slavery contracts" because I have to do whatever they say, even if I'm on the bridge of death. Which feels like I already am and it was just only 5 months since I debuted. 

"Now get out." He ordered me and before I could walk out of his door I shoved his laptop of his desk, breaking it, leaving it in chips and wires. I walked out of the door and when my hands clutched around the handle I turned my head around. "Why do you still keep me around?" I asked him wanting to know the answer. 

"You're my newest project. Also, that's coming out of your paycheck."

12:50PM

I was in Practice Room 4 practicing for my comeback, rehearsing my comeback single. I was drenched in sweat and it doesn't help when the female dancers were trying to hit on me. 

"Take 10 guys." The choreographer told us. We grabbed one of the water bottles beside the speaker.

"Oppa, can you open this for me?" She asked holding the water bottle in front of my face. Seriously, you can't open this? Before I could drink my own, I handed her mine and took hers. 

I excused myself from practice and walked to the rooftop.

Once I opened the door, I took a deep breath of fresh air. This is my Heaven above the Hell below. I walked to the edge of the rooftop. The city of Seoul looked beautiful from the sunlight beaming down on it.

"Guess who." An angelic voice told me as my eyes were covered by their hands. Just by their touching her slender fingertips I knew who it was in an instant. How could I not.

I brushed her hand off of my face and I kissed her fingertips. I looked up at her and she gave me her signature eye smile. With her black hair shining as the sun bounced of her strands. Which makes her complexion more soft and shining. Her pure gleam in her eyes sparkled brightly. She was my own angel and made my days a bit better. 

"How are you today?" I asked her as I gave her a kiss on her cheek. She giggled as a response. "Good. I can finally take a break now that our promotions are done. You?" I laced my arms around her waist and I didn't really catch her answer because I was focused on her plump lips. 

"Aren't you listening?" She whacked me on the head and I broke my grasp from her to aid my poor throbbing head. "I said "How about you?" She repeated her question. 

"Well, it was going a lot better when I saw you and now I'm kind of rethinking about my decision." I told her. She then took my face in her hands brought my head lower to her and the throbbing magically stopped when she laid her lips on the spot she hit. "Sorry." She apologized with a pouty lip. "You missed." I told her. 

"Eh? I'm pretty sure I-" I caught her off by diving my lips onto hers. I slowly moved my hands to her nice round , which were covered by her denim shorts. She groaned as I slapped her lightly. "You like that?" I whispered against her lips. But she pushed me away before we could get to the good part. 

I gave her an annoyed look. I was getting really happy now. "Not yet. Plus, you don't who could be watching right now." She warned me. I guess she's right. I just held her hand as we sat against the railing of the terris. "Did the boss go hard on you again?" She asked me, concerned about what's going to happen in the future. "You don't have too worry about that." I told her as my thumb circled her hand. "How can I not worry? I was the girl." She reminded me.

"That doesn't matter. I'm just glad I pulled the hood on you in time. Plus, this is what we signed up for." I informed her. I mean when you're part of one of the biggest companies in South Korea, who wouldn't want to keep their eye on you?  "But you're taking the heat for both of us." She said in a sad voice as she looked down on her lap. 

"Yah! I would let myself get burned, so people won't hurt you. I mean you already have enough fans bombarding you with death threats from your break-up with Nickhun still. Imagine, what would happen to you if my "fans" find out. You know how far they can go." I reminded her. 

"But that was just my probem and you weren't a part of it. Even when you told me not to break-up with him for you, I still did. I took the risk for the what I'd done. I don't want you to suffer because of something we both not just you. Sometimes I think that as long as we go out, I will always be the burden to our own relationship. I have to brush you off when we have skinship, I have to keep telling you to when to kiss me. I wonder if this re-" She wouldn't even finish her sentence because from her tears seeping down her cheeks.

I kissed each tear coming from her eyes. When we were just starting our relationship she was still with Nickhun. We had to sneak everywhere to just be a regular couple. I knew it was wrong but my feelings for her was too stong and I couldn't just break it off. When I heard her fighting with Nickhhun over the phone, I saw how stressed she looked. Nickhun was a good guy, he treated her better than I would've ever done. 

That's when I realized I should've let her go. 

May 27th, 2015

"What do you mean, break-up?" She asked me with tears rapidly going down her cheeks. We were in my apartment for our last date. We were just eating dinner and that's when I told her the news. 

"We have to end this." I calmly told her trying to ease the pain. But she was still not believing what I was saying. I stood up from the table and walked to the coat rack and grabbed her red sweater and handed it to her but she didn't take it. "Why?! It's Nickhun, right? I'll break up with him. Just don't do this." She begged me. As much as I wanted to comfort her, I couldn't. This had to stop right now. 

"No, you can't do that?!" I yelled her. "I will, if it means I'll stay with you." She told. As much as I wanted to take that offer, I couldn't. I held her by her shoulders and looked in her eyes. "Do you know what will happen? Fans will come and attack you. This relationship is not worth doing if you're going to get in trouble for it." But she smacked my arms away from her. 

"Is there another woman involved? Huh? It must be that. Is it Taeyeon? I knew she-", "It has nothing to do with her. Just listen to me." I tured again to make her calm but the angry yet sad look in her eyes told me she wasn't going to calm down any time soon. 

"Am I not worth your time anymore?" She kept throwing irrelevent questions at me. I never seen her cry this much. "You're worth everything to me. It's just that this relationship isn't worth risking your career over." I have to keep reminding her that she already had a public relationship with one of the members that are in the biggest boy group in the industry and in their rival company. 

"You're also worth everything to me. You're worth risking my whole possible career." She told me. I had enough of this going back and forth argument. It's obvious that this is going nowwhere at all. 

With her final tears cascading down her beautiful face I kissed them. This was my "I'm sorry." for her. It was silent but sweet. WIth only our breath filling the air and killing the tension. Her breathing started to calm down with every small peck I gave her. Each one more sad. I gave her one last kiss on her lips as a farewell.

It was passionate than any other kiss we shared. This was filled with regret and sorrow, most of all it was filled with love. We responded to each other aggressivley yet it was smooth. This time a couple of my tears slipped down my face and didn't want to let go of her. She didn't either. It was like it the rest of the world stopped and it was just the two of us. I know, cliche and cheesy, but that's how we both felt. 

As the couple seconds passed by from this present moment, I let her go. Despite her pleads and tears I had to push her out the door and out of my life. I took one last look at her and hesitantly closed the door.

After that, I had a sleepless night. Tossing and turning, thinking if I made the right decision. If I did, was it even worth it?

May  28th, 2015

I woke up from a barley peaceful slumber in to an even more miserable morning. I had my black glasses on and the TV since it was Sunday and I had a free day off from training. 

BREAKING NEWS! 

SNSD'S TIFFANY AND 2PM'S NICKHUN CALLS IT QUITS AFTER 1 YEAR AND 8 MONTHS OF DATING!

BOTH ANGENCIES OF THE IDOLS CONFIRMED THAT THE COUPLE SEPERATED EARLY TODAY. REASON - BUSY SCHEDULE.

After I heard the news my door got a knock. I was wondering who would be coming this early for on a Sunday. It took me sometime to get to the door, due to still processing what was going on. 

When I opened the door I saw a feminine body with a carton filled with two milk teas with tapioca as a face. I had no idea who this lady was but as soon as she removed it from her face, I saw her again. 

My eyes showed that I was shocked that she was here. 

"Don't ask anything." She told me as she greeted me with her arms. 

"I'm with you."

It was the day I realized I didn't let go at all. I was just hanfing by a string. My Tiffany. 

I looked back at her, at her now tearless face. "Tiffany, let me just tell you that you are beautiful when you smile, whether or not with your mouth or eyes, when you laugh, when you sing. But when you cry are you damn ugly. So, don't ever let a tear fall down your cheeks anymore. Okay?" I asked her.

She just hits me on my chest, I prenteded to be hurt but she didn't fall for it this time. "Yeah, right. Like I'm going to fall for that again." She told me as she poked my brain. "I get it." I said as I had a goof smile on my face as a victory sign to myself because I made her smile again. I looked at my watch and saw that I had one minute before practice starts.

"Five minutes are never long enough. I have to go now, so don't be upset that I'm leaving." I stood up and brushed off the dust off of my pants and gave her one last peck before I waved goodbye.

Practice Room 4, 7:50PM

Everyone else was gone and I was just cleaning up the floor from the sweat we all lost.

DANGER! DANGER! BOSS IS CALLING! THE BOSS IS CALLING!

Just like what my ringtone warned me, the boss was calling, so this definatley not good. Not good at all. What does he want now?

With a heavy body and mind, I trugged off to his office. I swear to God if he tells me that my comeback is being pushed forward, I am going all Hulk on this guys .

My appointment was approching so whatever's going down in that cage better be quick. 

When I opened the door I saw the devil sitting down behind his desk and his now damaged laptop, replaced with a new one. How did he do that so f-, wait nevermind, he's making himself rich off of eveyone here. I cautiously walked over to the chair as my eyes laid upon a familiar looking blonde hair girl. Kill me, kill me now. 

Once I sat down, I full saw the persons face and (shocker!) it was Taeyeon, sitting there with a smile on her face when she saw me. I ignored her and sloched in my chair, not looking forward for what's going to happen to me. 

"Glad you can make it." He told me. I knew Taeyeon saw through his sickening lie because, with the other concepts he had her doing before she had to do it, one way or no way at all. 

"So, as you two already know we annouced that Taeyeon was preparing for her solo debut." He informed us. We both nodded our heads in agreement. "And prior to JD's debut, fans found out the both of you were best friends back in Jeonju. We thought it to produce more excitment to build up both of your promotions, for you two collaborate with each other." There goes the bomb...

"That sounds great!"

"That sounds horrible!"

Taeyeon and I answered together. She, for obvious reasons loved the idea. I, for one not loving the idea so much. I mean, we all saw this coming. Am I right? I am not working with her.

"But won't this seem like Taeyeon and I seem more in an intimate relationship? Like for what I was in here earlier, we still have that problem with my scandal. So this obviously, won't clear anything up about the allegations." I tried to excuse myself from this project but I know he won't budge easily. "But most of the fans know that you two were best friends and still are," So... about that. "you two would never go higher than that." Don't remind me.

"You also have to remember that Taeyeon and Baekhyun broke up recently. Doesn't this make her seem like she was moving on from him to me?" I took the second shot hoping that I would hit the bullseye. "More fans are joyus about the news, even though there are still fans that believe they will get back together again, this will take their minds off of it for quite some time." Aaannnddd it went way off the board. 

 I had no more excuses and the final nail was hammered in, in this coffin. "Then I guess it's all settled. I'll call both of your managers to rearrange your schedules. You may both leave now." He told us and I jolted out of my chair and slammed the door behind me. 

In the middle of my anger walk, a hand grabbed on to my wrist and I pretty sure I had a good idea of who it was. I whipped my hand back from their grip and turned at her with my eyes screaming with anger. 

"Do you really dislike me that much?" She asked me. "You used to be my best friend, not even that, you were my brother!" She reminded me and she had water wilting in her eyes. 

"I don't care anymore! You are not my best friend." I yelled at her, not caring if everyone was hearing us. This girl really needed to know her place in, whatever this is. I don't even know what to call it. 

"What does it take to not forget everything we'd been through? Just tell me." She ordered me as a teardrop slid down her face. I admit I wanted to wipe them away, but I just can't do it. This is what I've been forcing myself not to do anymore. But helping was second nature for me, a reflex. 

"Just let me forget you." I told her and walked away from her, leaving her standing there with tears in her eyes. But I had the urge to look back at her, and what I saw was me. So pitiful.

"So you're scans are all coming pretty well, but your valves seem to have gotten thinner. Didn't I tell you to quit smoking?" The doctor asked me. I was sitting at one of the rooms, with walls covered in posters of the human body with replicas of the organs inside our bodies. I was sitting on the bed with the sheet paper spreaded on top of it. The doctor was standing in front of the x-rays of my insides.

"I did, it must be a simple setback." I told him. Looking at my black jacket that had a cigarette box in the pockets. He sighed like he knew that I was lying, but he didn't really cared that much since he was going to get paid anyways. "Just let me check your heartbeat and you're ready to go." He told me. I took of my shirt and he put the stethoscope on my heart. 

"Heartbeat sounds normal." He told me as he wrote down on a green slip and ripped it out of his clipboard and handed it to me. "You need to refill on your ACE inhibitors and your Diuretics." He told me as I put on my shirt again. Everytime they tell me to take off my shirt for them, I feel so exposed or is it just me? Either way, I was outta there. 

"Also, my daughter is a big fan of yours. Can you perhaps sign this for her?" He asked me as he held out a black pen and a piece of paper. I still had my idol image to uphold so, I "gladly" signed the piece of paper.

I put on my surgical mask and headed to their pharmacy to refill on my medications. The TV was on and I smiled because it was playing SNSD's Party and Tiffany's face showed up on the screen and my smile had soon been replaced with a face of disgust when I saw Taeyeon's face on the screen. I just can't seem to avoid you. My pills were ready and I thanked the pharmacist and left.

5 bottles of soju later

Daesung's Apartment 10:37PM

I admit that I felt a little bit more tipsy than usual. But that didn't stop me from going to the corner store to buy 6 more bottles.  I have a very high tolerance when it comes to holding my alcohol. 

But I saw a petite figure outside my door.

What should I do with you?

Well, here it is. If you're confused with anything in the story feel free to type it in the comments and I'll reply to them as qucik as I can.