Daesung's Apartment Room

9:25 AM

 I woke up wrapped up in a soft, pure satin sheets. I was still groggily when I opened my eyes so I didn't see clearly. As soon as I landed my hand on my bedside table, I couldn't find my glasses and as more as I moved my hand around the table I realized that this wasn't my room. I shot straight up to see the interior and from that moment I realized that this was definatley not my dorm and I was definatley not in my bed. Before I could freakout I lifted my sheets up. Thank God. I'm still wearing my clothes. 

Okay, okay Taeyeon. Do not freak out. You are not in your room, you are in a strangers bed but still have my clothes on. Just think about what happened last night. Last night, I was waitinf in front of Daesung's apartment to discuss about the collab. I must've fell asleep while I was waiting for him. So that must mean that I was in his home. Thank God I wasn't kidnapped. 

The sun was already out and I looked at his bedside table to see that he has a picture of his mom and his sister. He is still such a momma's boy. Because curiosity killed the cat and I looked in his drawer. He had a familiair looking item. Once I held it in my hand it all became more clear. He kept it. It was the pink iPod I gave him on his 15th birthday and my message was still on there. 

The more I looked around his room the more I saw more nostalgic items from his room back in Jeonju. I stood on my feet and went to the sleek and organized black desks. He still had his old work books from high school. No wonder you were such a smarty pants. I remember he told me wanted to become a doctor. We pretended I was the patient and he would give me check up with his plastic doctor stuff. He had a MacBook that was opened. I saw an icon labeled "Do Not Share". Like anyone would listen to that.

"I'm wondering if you're living well
and doing fine all the time.
When I open and close my eyes,
I'm curious if you're eating well.
Where are you? I'm concerned about you.
It's because of you."

I read the words off the screen, I tilted my head in confusion. Since when did he become a romantisic? I closed the tab and snooped some more in his room. I opened some of his drawers and saw the accustomed set of leather covered notebooks. He would never let me read these, let alone touch them. I think you know what I was about to do next. 

09/25/05

Dear Journal,

Today, is September 25, 2005. I walked the halls alone of my high school. I didn't have that much friends, well I had no friends beside Taeyeon noona. But on the bright side, I got another A+ on my math test and my coveted 1st place rank continues.

Unlike my other classmates, they were not so happy as I was. Even though I was 14 and shouldn't get my hopes up for high school since I wouldn't have my best friend there. Despite the 3 year , it never gets in the way, we just hang out comfortably together. 

I'm going to high school next year and Taeyeon is going to debut next year. So, I'm preparing myself for the long days without each other. I hope I won't bo too lonely without her. 

Enough about her. Today more of the guys in my class started picking on me again. I guess something abiut wearing glasses and being smart is sign on the back saying to hit me. That's what they exactly did, the students watched and recorded it. I didn't cry, not in front of them. After school I ran to my safe place and just cried there. 

He was bullied? How come I didn't know about this? I filpped more pages to a familiar date. April 29th, 2008. It looked like a page was ripped out, but it had smudged writing. Was it raining? I saw my satchel on the foot of the bed and I shoved the journal in there. I heard footsteops coming towards the room and I immediatley pushed the drawers back in and belly flopped in the bed and pulled the sheets on top of me. 

I heard the door creaked open. Then I felt the bed being shifted to where I was sleeping. 

"You hated being covered in your sheets, you would always complain of being too hot." Daesung voice went through my ears. He lifted the sheet down to  the middle of my stomach. Then I felt his warm hand on my heard, brushing the hair from my face. But he quickly removed it. I missed his gentle touch. 

"What did I come here for again?" He asked himself as he got up from the bed and after 5 minutes of him searching and me pretending to sleep he left the room. 

You always managed to make me confused. 

I walked downstairs and found a sleeping Daesung on the couch with one blacket covering his body. He still had his glasses on him so, I removed them for him and brushed his hair through my fingers. 

"What was he watching last night?" I asked myself. He had one of those SmartTV's that connected to the internet. He was watching a video and I played it, with the volume on a minimal. 

"Who do we have here? SM's new star Kim Taeyeon!" Daesung panned the camera to me with my phone in my hand, shaking my led up and down to show how anxious I was. 

"Yeah, right. I messed up my lyrics." I reminded him as I set my phone down on the couch and digged my head in my palms. "Don't think like that! You're going to make it, if they don't accept you, it's going to be their lost." Daesung cheered me up. Her parents were even waiting in the room to see if she made it. The phone ringed and the room was even more quiet, you could even hear a pin drop.

"Hello? Yes, this is Kim Taeyeon." She answered and pointed to the phone, and mouthed "It's them." She nodded her head and kept saying yes. When she hung up the phone I looked up to the camera with a sad face. 

"I..." Everyone else thought that it was over for me. 

"I made it!" I yelled at them and boucned up and down. Daesung was the first person to hug and congradulated me. "I knew it!" He yelled at the camera, with me in the background with the rest of my family crying tears of joy with me. 

That was the end of the video. Why was he even replaying this? 

I walked to the kitchen, I rememeber when I come over to his house to drop him off to his school, he would smile when he saw the dinner table filled with breakfast, ready to eat. The fridge had a carton of eggs, kimchi, quinoa, soju and strawberry milk. I took out the quinoa and kimchi and started cooking.He used to eat so well when we were growing up, now he barley eats at all. 

Daesung's POV

I heard crickling of oil on a pan and the smell of kimchi that comes along with it. I blinked a few times to get my vision back, but fue to my natural poor eyesight, I touched my face to see if my glasses were stil on my face and they weren't. Weird. I turned mt head to see two circles that looked like my glasses so I put them on. While I got up, I streched my arms and yawned. 

CRACK!

I think I need to see a chiropractor. I turned off the TV and combed my hair with my fingers. Today was my day off from the schedule and I planned to have a nice regular day in. But my plans won't seem to go as planned once I had taken in that ahjumma I mean Taeyeon in last night. How come she didn't just go home? 

Anyways, I followed the aroma to the kitchen when I saw her in my apron. (That's right, men can wear aprons!) I saw the container of quiona opened and the continer of kimchi my mom sent me from Jeonju. 

"What are you doing?" I asked startling her. Making her droop the wooden she had in her hand. "Yah! Don't ever do that to me!" She yelled at me as she picked up the spoon and shortly whacked with it. "Anyways, I made you breakfast." She put a small bowl on the table, with what looks like kimchi freid rice, but was a quiona version. 

"I'm not hungry." I told her and when I was about to leave the room she grabbed me by my arm and pushed me down in front of the steaming food. "I did not make this food for you, for you to say that you're not hungry." She told me. "I don't want-" Before I could even finished what I was saying, she stuffed a spoonful of quinoa in my mouth. "Just eat." She ordered me. I just chewed quietly. 

"By the way, what exactly happened last night?" She asked me. I finished swallowing the grains down my throat. "You passed out waiting for me, even though a normal person whould've actually gone home after 10 in the night. I can't let anyone see that one of the biggest idol singer in the most well-known idol girl group in front of a male idol's home. I already have enough scandals." I told her in a way that I didn't really care about her, I just did it because I didn't want the press to find another story to write about me. 

"How come you slept on the couch?"

"I'm still a man." I answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"Why were you even waiting?" I turned the table and made her sit in the hot seat.  "Because my manager told me to come and work with you for the collaboration."  She informed me. "Sorry to break it to you, but this is my only day off since my practices and I intend to spend it alone." I put down my spoon and put the almost finished dish beside the sink. 

"Why are you putting it away? You weren't finish." She asked me in confusion. "I'm on a diet." I informed her. "So how about we work on that song?" She brough up the obvious topic.

"Sorry, but it's my Netflix and chill day." I walked out of the room and plopped my body in front of the TV on my nice couch and my SmartTV. But Taeyeon was blocking my view and when I tried to stretch my neck to see the screen at a better view but she moved again. 

"Look, this is my house and at my house there is no you." I grabbed her wrist and started to push her out my room. "So, bye!" I told her when she was out the door and before I could even shut the door in her face I felt something coming back up. 

I dashed to the washroom, ignoring her calls and footsteps trailing behind me. My stomach was about to become empty again. How far is the washroom? Finally, what might've been forever for me, I made it to the toilet. 

Everything just kept coming up and out of me, nonstop. Taeyeon who was I bet was holding her breath when she slowly came in the cubicle and rubbed my back to ease the pain. I did not have enough strength to push her away. 

After a awkward amount of time, I stopped pouring my insides in the bowl in front of me. I sat back down, wiping the beads of sweat on my forehead, and controlling my breathing. "Daesung, are you okay?" She asked me as she attempted to touch my forehead. "I'm okay." I said in a big breath. 

"Oh my god you're burning." She informed me as she retracted her hand from me. "Come on, you need to sleep." She told me as she tried to make me stand up, but avoided her hand and tried to stand up by myself but end up falling in her arms.  I tried to push myself off of her, because even for me (and this is saying a lot) awkward. 

But as soon as I tried to give some force on her, she wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace.

"For once, don't push me away."

Surprisingly, Daesung didn't push me away when I said those words. Maybe it's because he's too tired or he didn't care. But in my mind, for once again, he'll accept for this one time. 

I had to carry his heavy body over my shoulder. Even though my body is frail I still kept climbing his stairway to his room. I gently placed him on the bed and I didn't pull the covers over him because I remembered he never liked it being bundled up when he's sick. 

"I don't want to stay in bed." He complained as he sat up and to be quickly pushed down by me. "Don't even think about it."

"But I don't want to do nothing on my day off." This time he acted as a 5 year-old. I have to admit that he looked adorable. Despite him being younger than me, he always had managed to keep a mature and protective face. I think he only turns out like this when he's sick, but if he acted like tis when he was home, I should've come over his house more often. I let out a small laugh and fluffed his pillows. "Besides, you're here." Okay, not adorable. 

I just flicked his forehead and he just tried to hit me with a pillow but luckily I dodged it. It's funny, this is the absolute first time that he has gotten sick. He normally has a strong immune system and now he's just really getting sick. The pillow that I just fluffed he just switched it with the other one beside him. Does he really think I'm that disgusting?

"This is my payback of when you took care of me when I was sick." I reminded him about the sick days I had back home when I used to visit back home from training. 

"I don't remember that." He answered back, but his voice sounded more nervous. He never gets nervous. Well, unless you were his mom, nothing could scare him, we would just have a stare down that would most likely end with him winning. 

I sat beside him, making him scooch over. I arched my eyebrow him. Oh, really then? "You don't? I guess I should remind you." He just puts a pillow to cover his ears, let's be honest where we lived, there is no such thing as silence. That's all I'm going to tell you. 

"You would miss school for me, because with a brain like yours, how bad could your rank drop? Then, you would come over to my home and tried to make me stay in bed, makin gme rebel and go downstairs where you are. You would always make me juk (rice porridge) and feed it to me, because I would ask you toYou knew that I was going there anyway, so you would turn on TV and play the movie that I currently liked at the time. You'd make me yujacha tea and watch the movie with me. After atleast 20 minutes later, we had a bowl of popcorn and suddenly you had the medicine pop out of nowhere and wouldn't let me smell the corny goodness unless I drank one spoonful of tea. When the movie was done, I would always fall asleep, either on your shoulder or lap. You leave me on the couch, so I wouldn't wake up and when I was sweating, you'd take off the blanket from me and when I was too cold, you'd help me layer up. Once, you knew that I was in a deep sleep, you would carry me up to my bed and tuck me in, just how I like it and than you put a cold towel on my forehead. I don't know if you stay there until my parents come back home, but I know that you would stay." I was looking up at the ceiling when I said that, reminiscing the sweet moments. I heard faint snores and I look at his face and saw that his eyes were closed and sleeping peacefully.

Really? This guy, seriously. I rearranged his pillows and pushed him so he can be laying on his back. Then his phone (because my ringtone is not BoA's Only One) and when I looked at the ID I saw the caption, "Love". Love? He has a girlfriend? Or maybe it's his little sister. Daesung started to turn around in his bed and that was a signal for me to get out

I dashed down the stairs and answered the call. 

"Hello? Honey?" A familiar asked over the phone. She sounds familiar. 

"Tiffany?" I asked her. "Taeyeon? Why do you have Daesung's phone?" She asked me, but in my mind all that I was going in my mind is why does Tiffany have DaeDae's number? I mean I thought Daesung was still anti-girls since 5th grade. 

"Good question. Here's another one, why do you have Daesung's number?" I retorted back to her, but not in a sassy way, but in a very curious manner. "Because I do." Seriously? You think that's a good answer. I might as well just find out myself. "And why do you have Daesung's phone?" Should I say this the long and complicated way or the easy and straight foreward way? 

"Okay, I was suppose to come over to Daesung's place fo our collaboration and he was out somewhere and didn't come home until I was passed sleeping in front of his door and long story short, he took me in and I ended sleeping over at his house, now he's sick and I'm taking care of him. Okay, by-"

"Wait! When you woke up, you didn't smell anything dirty did you?" What kind of question is this? "Dirty, like laundry?" I heard her sigh over the line and she just muttered something that I couldn't understand under her breath. "Kay, bye." She told me in English. I quietly walked up back upstairs and I placed his phone on his bedside table. The baby was still sleeping soundly.

What can I do while I'm here? Geez, If I would've known that this sleepover would turn out to be a game of hospital. But the question that Tiffany asked me if I smelled something dirty, what did she mean by that? I mean, why would something smell dirty in his house? 

Daesung, for sure is the type of person to leave a mess hanging around, heck he was a major clean freak, unless if he's dead tired he would just leave it alone.

Wait. How do I look now, I just slept the entire night here and I do not have my make-up with me. I went inside his bathroom and looked at mirror. Not bad. I saw one thing that captured my eyesight. It was a small, whit pill on the counter of the sink. Where did this come from? I traced my eyesight and saw that mirror was cracked open and when I full opened the cabinet, I saw a display of medicine. From liquids, to empty pill bottles with labels with big words, but the one thing I thought was the most shocking was the neat assortment of cigarette boxes.

This was a cabinet full of life and death. Medicines to help him live longer and cigarettes to live shorter. I though Daesung wasn't like this kind of guy. He used to cough at the mention of smoke. 

Maybe he was right. I don't know him at all. 

I took a picture of the pill bottles, maybe I can ask a friend that went to medical school to ask what these are for. Is this what Tiffany meant as something 'dirty'? She knew that he smokes? Is everyone I know, aren't the people I know? 

When I was finished my little investagation in the washroom, I got a text from Baekhyun.

Yeobo, whatcha doing?

Nothing much. Just taking care of Daesung. I calmly replied. Not that long after my phone started to ring. I picked up without looking at the screen because I assumed that Baekhyun would be calling.

"You're with that ?" He asked with obvious venom in his voice. "Don't call him a . He's just in a mad mood.' I answered but with the way I'm saying it makes me question myself.

"So, does that mean he's in a bad mood all the time? Don't you ever get angry of the way that he treated you since he came back in your life? He treated you like dirt. Why do you even try with him?" You got me there. "You don't unders-"

"What? I don't understand what? That he's an ice prince who's probably going to get himself kicked out of the company sooner or later." I was really appauled over Baekhyun's negativity towards Daesung. Just by the mentioning of his name he would scrunch his nose in disgust. Honestly, I know that everything he was stating was true, but I just want to be to quick to believe in any of them. 

"He won't. The old him is still there, I can see it in his eyes." He just sighed in response. "That's called glaring." I feel like the more we talk about him the more we are drifting apart. "With the amount of scandels he's getting, at this rate he's going to get kicked out of the company by next month!" He argued back. I rolled my eyes and, grey hairs are starting to grow at this rate.

"Yah! You don't know him, only I do. You think I'm that oblivious to his cold attitude towards me? I know. Do I like it. Heck no! But do I put with it? Yes. Because, if I just wait long enough and keep telling him to remember me, he'll come back to his old self." 

"Your life is not a dream or a fanfiction. Not everything is going to turn out the best. You, out of all people whould know that!" Oh, is he really playing this game with me? "You don't think I don't know that?! But as long as I'm here and he's back, he's a bit of that dream from when I was back home." I sassed right back at him. 

"Well, you better wake up. One day he's going to leave you again and you'll be crying to me." 

"I already cried thousands of times because of him. But I wipe them away because I don't want him to see me like that. He hates it when he sees me cry." I informed him, well, he doesn't like seeing people cry in general, but it's still true.

"How many times do I have to jab this in your brain? He does not like you at all. He, like the rest of us, have to put a pretty smile on our face and sing a tune to make money and when his contract expires are is terminated for obvious reasons he'll be forgotten. You should start forgetting about him now, before you actually get yourself more hurt." He warned me.

"Well, you can s-"

"And before he completley leaves you again he'll basically just make you feel more like and drop the bomb and say, "I never liked you in the first place" and I'm pretty sure everyone else saw that coming."

"Baek-"

"Also, for all we know when he's gone he'll spill every secret you ever told him will be out there for everyone to know about and you'll probably going to get kicked out the company too." 

"He's not that kind of person!" I yelled at him. My eyes were getting moist with everything that he was saying. I know that he's not trying to direct his hatred for Daesung at me, but the way he's speaking to me, just makes it seems like he was. 

"Stop being so stupid!" At this point, I was almost on the edge of crying. It's just a matter of time and words for them to actually spill out. I didn't even want to reply back knowing that he won't understand anytime soon. But soon someone took my phone away from my eyes and before I could realize it, the person started to talk.

"Do not call her stupid. I thought you were supposed to be her boyfriend? Calling her stupid, is not something a good boyfriend would say. I thought I was supposed to be the , but I think the more you talk to a girl that way, we all know who the actual is. I get that you don't like me and your girlfriend does, in a "friend" way towards me, but that doesn't mean you can take your anger and frustrations on her. Better yet, just call me or say whatever's on your mind to me. Because that actually takes a real man to do. Don't worry, I have no intentions to make her cry today, because that's clearly has been done already. If you don't mind me speaking on the behalf of Taeyeon, she needs some alone time."

 Daesung's POV

I woke up from Taeyeon yelling. Trust me, I did want to get up and tell her to shut up. But I started to hear shivers, like as if someone was crying. The curisousity killed the cat and I went downstairs. I quietly went down the stairs, because I wanted to hear what was going on. 

From my birdseye point of view, she was talking, well more like yelling over the other line. 

It didn't take long for me to notice that the person she was talking to was none other than the devil himself, Baekhyun. I am not stupid and the glares from him is intentional. It's pretty obvious that the guy hates my guts, because, I mean who likes the guy that their "girlfriend" talks about majority of the time? As sure as heck that I won't. 

I had to agree on what Baekhyun had said about me. With all the trouble I'm getting into, I'm going to get my kicked out of the company soon. 

Even though Taeyeon was facing the back of me, I could tell that her eyes were glistening with tears. I could hear the words that he was saying and normally, I would just let this past but I heard that one word that just triggered me to move.

I just flashed down the stairs (still without being noticed) and took the phone out of her hand.

I don't know about anyone else, but I just whooped that guys behind, to America! When I turned around I took her hand and placed the phone on it.

"You're a 26 year old women, for God's sake. Don't you know how to cut people off?" I asked her. 

Instead of a sassy response I was expecting from her, I got a hug instead. Damn, and I thought I was confusing. 

I didn't know how to respond to this, but awkwardly wrap my arms around her small frame and just patted her back. I would normally just push her away by now, but she looked to fragile to touch. 

"Sh... It's okay now. Just stop crying." I told her as I was rubbing her back. But she just kept her head where my heart is. She was clenching onto my shirt and leaving a lot of tear stains. Then I rembered she would cry less when I would rub the back of her head. So I softly placed my hand on her smooth blonde hair and started to her hair strands.

As I kept doing that, the short breaths became longer and the grip loosened on my shirt. "You remembered, that you don't like to see me cry?" She asked me, feeling hopeful and with the state that she's in, I had to be "nice". "Just for today." I answered.

Just for today.

What do you think about Daesung? Is he confusing for you guys too? Also, What do you think is going to happen to Daesung or Taeyeon?

Leave what you think about what's going to happen to them!

Bye! I'll try to update soon and I hope you guys had a Happy Halloween!