Regret
Because Of You
It's been two weeks.
Taeyeon's efforts went useless of searching for Jessica. Yes, she was looking for her. She wanted Jessica back. The feelings she tied up inside her heart burst out every sleepless night. When she realizes that her best friend was not there to accompany her, to greet her every cold morning with a cup of tea in her hands, to offer her with sweet words, to feel awkward or stupid with or to share her stuff with her.
It was torturing. Taeyeon was hurt alot. She couldn't bear the loss she felt and as long as she felt that lonliness the more she felt numb. Jessica had not left any stuff with her. Not a single hairclip. She had wiped everything from the house. But Taeyeon was not sure if Jessica had moved on with their friendship, yet.
Two weeks spent with Tiffany. Tiffany had already moved to Taeyeon's apartment and owned Jessica's room. It was not her purpose. Taeyeon didn't want to make Tiffany who's her close friend, like a guest. It was not right. So, she decided offering Jessica's room but with few conditions on as long as Tiffany should not touch anything that belongs to Jessica and not mess up her room.
"Taeyonnie" Tiffany called out Taeyeon who was television in the living room. Taeyeon didn't answer but kept focusing.
When Tiffany didn't get her attention she just walked to her. Taeyeon's usual behaviour hurt her. She knew the reason. Taeyeon used to be friendly with Tiffany but things got worse ever since she moved in. Specifically at the same time Jessica moved out because of her. It was hard for Tiffany to talk to Taeyeon as she felt guilty all the time.
Taking a seat beside her, she sat down. She scanned the girl beside her who wasn't even affected by her appearance. Her eyes were glued to the TV.
"Taeyeon?"
"Hmmm?" Finally the girl just answered.
"Are you..angry with me?" Tiffany asked. Taeyeon stirred with the question but kept her gaze on the TV. "No, why?"
Tiffany's eyes loitered everywhere. Taeyeon's answer made her to feel empty and guilty at the same time.
"You know what I'm talking about?" She said.
"What do you mean? I don't know what you are talking." Taeyeon shrugged.
"I just.." She let out a heavy sigh. Tiffany knew this was going to be hard. Cluttering Taeyeon's inner feelings wouldn't make her go easy. "..I feel like I took her place."
Taeyeon haulted for a moment. Fingers started trembling as she heard that feminine word.
"It's..I feel like I ruined your friendship by moving in here and made you feel..feel uncomfortable."
Taeyeon only listened. Tiffany kept talking.
"Ever since they day I moved in here, you looked sad and regretful. I just can't bear that Taeyeon. It's hurting me. I mean Jessica's maybe thinking that..that..we are dating b-but..it's..it's not the truth..is it, T-Taeyeon? I never wanted to come in between you two..as in..to ruin whatever the relationship you had with her. This place belongs to you and Jessica only and I just know that. I didn't want to in. But I'm grateful that you offered to help me..when..when my dad almost threw me out..--"
Taeyeon switched off the TV and averted her eyes to Tiffany. She sighed before speaking her words.
"Tiffany I..." Taeyeon paused. She was at a loss of words but finally collected her strength to talk. "..you know, I don't want to talk about this. It's that you finally came here and I offered you my support and I already told you that I'm okay with it."
"You are not okay with it. You are not Taeyeon." Tiffany raised her voice. "I mean I admit that you gave me some space to be here and I'm thankful for you but..but I never wanted to take Jessica's place. I knew that she hated my appearance. It's just I don't know. Whenver she sees me with you I saw that spark in her eyes. She quite didn't like me and I knew that but I don't blame her for that. Because..people can have their own attitudes towards people. We can be judgemental..it's okay but..I don't wanted her to move out because of me. She doesn't know anything that happened."
"What are you telling me Tiffany? I can't go back and pull her leg. She..she left me. She gave me some space. Space for us to live in. She said she's okay with it. Sh--"
"This is not right, Taeyeon. Just..Just..tell her what actually happened. You know it. You know I was pregnant because of Nichkhun. You know what happened at the social and that I almost ruined my life becuase of that bugger. You know my father threw me out. And then..then you offered me your place to stay. You know that..you did these things because I was your friend. You helped me. You know that but...but...that innocent girl doesn't know anything T
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