“Usually, there is nothing more pleasing than
returning to a place where you have endured hardship.” 
― Tahir Shah, In Search of King Solomon's Mines

 

► If  I Cry A Thousand Tears

 

 

 

My Joshua Nicolas E. Yu,

 

"He took his shirt off immediately as soon as he reached his room. Excitedly, he sat down on the bed and grabbed his phone. He could finally chat her again, he could bring back the past and be happy with her again. But his wide smile faded when he saw the sudden news, he blinked once again and laughed, hoping it wasn't true. But, reality strucked him, it is true. He gripped on his hair tight, anger, jealousy and frustration was clearly showing. But in the end, he knew that it's all over. All the things and efforts he had done for his supposed to be confession was wasted. And then for the fourth time around, he cried for her."

 

And then I replied with...

 

"She stared at her phone's wallpaper as tears run down her cheeks. She closed her eyes, as thoughts come and go in her mind. She felt awful and hopeless. Gripping on the sheets tightly, and crying silently, she whispered, "Estara bien. Nunca me dejes ir. Estoy muy enamorado de ti. Por favor...""

 

 

I'm crying really hard at the moment.

 

God, Yu. I can't express my emotions. Come back to me. Please. Never let me go. I wanted to message you. I wanted to tell you to please wait for me. I just have to handle things with Dan and tell her the truth. But I can't hurt her. I messaged her and told her "I need to find myself first."

It's true. I'm not lying tho. I need to search for my lost soul. The loving soul that I lost when we broke up that only shows whenever we talk. Are you eating well, my love? You probably don't have the appetite right now but please eat something. Okay? Eat some chocolates.

I hope God forgives me.

 

 

My baby...

I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss the moments when we go to our secret hiding place. I miss all our blue lagoons. I miss it when you talk to Zeus. He never left me, tho he's not real. I feel like the imagination of him has been a very huge part of me. And I feel like he's comforting me. I hope he does the same to you. Our little angel isn't born yet. Hahaha.

This pain is new to me. I have never felt like this before. On a scale of 1 to 10, it's like 1111213131242131311. When I saw your post above, I was eating with the whole family. I stood up and mom got startled. And then I told them, "Tatawagan ko lang si Cess kung ano yung isusuot namin bukas."

I ran outside the house and cried dun sa kubo namin sa likod ng bahay. I was gripping tightly on my shirt and tears were running down my cheeks without stop. My heart was bursting because of pain and agony. I felt dumb. I felt like a user. I felt stupid. And I am.

I hope you forgive me for causing you pain.

You didn't deserve even an inch of it.

You're beautiful, you're perfect, you're you..

And that's why I love you.

 

I'm breathing heavily right now. I'm sobbing really hard. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. Tomorrow, we're gonna perform for the instrams. I hope I don't mess up my parts. It would be a sleepless night for me. I hope you talk to me. I hope you're here to hug me. I hope you're here to kiss my tears away.

 

I'll let the songs finish everything I wanted to say..

 

► Destiny's Child - Brown Eyes

► Miley Cyrus - Goodbye

► Miley Cyrus - I Hope You Find It

 

 

//6.49 PM