“I felt his absence. It was like waking up one day with no teeth in your mouth.
You wouldn't need to run to the mirror to know they were gone.” 
― James Dashner, The Scorch Trials

 

► Last Goodbye - David Cook

 

I didn't wanna lose you,
Leave you with a broken heart.
But wherever we are,
We're miles a part.
I know that we tried,
But this is the last good bye.

 

 

 

Hi Joshua/Selfie King/Labidabs/Yu,

 

Yesterday was really fun. I laughed and smiled a lot. And I wanna thank you for that. Today, maybe you saw my relationship status. That's Dan, a girl who I decided to focus myself to. I want to look at her. Only her. When she asked me to be her girlfriend, I was really flattered. It would hurt not to answer her because she's been there for me. She's really nice and she expresses how much she loves me every single day.

I wanted to say "no", but my mind said yes.

I know I made the wrong decision again.

God knows how much it pained me when I said yes. Knowing you would probably turn your back to me. I didn't want that. 

 

It's unfair for her part, I know. But I want to love her, Joshua. I love her.

But whenever you show up, I feel like I'm lying to myself.

I KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. GOD, WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME TOO--I KNOW IT'S JUST A PLAYFUL I LOVE YOU--BUT MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT. I FOUND HOPE AGAIN. I WANT TO LOVE YOU. I WANT TO KISS THE OUTTA YOU. I LOVE YOU, JOSHUA. I AM DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH YOU. I WANT TO FIGHT FOR YOU. I WANT TO FIGHT SO BAD. AND WHENEVER I LOOK AT THE STARS AT NIGHT, ALL I REMEMBER IS YOU. I HOPE YOU FEEL THE SAME ING WAY. BECAUSE IT. EVERYTHING. WHY CAN'T I BE WITH YOU?! WHY DID I EVEN LET YOU SLIP OFF MY HANDS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?!! I WANT YOU BACK. I want you here, with me...

You're the only one who can make my heart flutter deeply. Just a simple hello from you, makes me smile. Your touch, your words, your warmth, comforts me in many ways. Another restless night for me, I guess.

 

I flirted with Dan. Yes, I did. I was wrong, I know. But I just wanna be honest with you. I flirted a lot with Dan because I thought it would be a way to get over you. But goodness, when I'm with her, I think of you. I feel guilty. It's like you're always here, watching me. And I feel tingles in my veins. And you know what? I don't mind at all. 

Alam mo ba wallpaper kita. Hahaha! I kiss your picture all the time. It's embarrassing but yes, I kiss it. Pag may tumutugtog na malungkot na kanta, tinitignan ko picture mo. Naiiyak lang ako. Seryoso. Parang tanga lang. Napansin nga ata ni mama kaya nung isang araw natanong ka niya. Sinabi ko yung totoo na wala na tayo. Niyakap niya ko. First time kong maramdaman yun. At mas lalo kitang namiss.

 

Oh goodness, my Yu.

God knows how much I want you back. How much I love you.

 

 

► Talking To The Moon - Bruno Mars
► Sa'yo - Silent Sanctuary 

 

 

//10:37 PM