I close my eyes, taking in a good breath. I let it out hoping that this feeling will follow it. I look at them one by one. However, I can see nothing but their eyes.

 Everything around me pulls back that lumb in my throat as I'm miserably trying to swollow it back.

 Yes, right… I wonder if I deserve their love. Even if I act all clumsy and stupid, or be selfish, their vision of me didn't change.

 Singing my part, I reminisce the time our "We are one" was real, when we thought we will be eternal, when we got tricked by our own jokes…

 It's in such moments that I reason myself. It's over.

 But in the other hand, like a phantom, I hear Luhan's soft voice joining ours. I see Kris standing in the opposit side to Chanyeol's, alternating their perfect raps. I feel Tao's joy while he is distributing some aegyo to the fans. I see their smiles… 11 smiles that I would be able to join.

As I distingish this glimmer in the fans' eyes, I return their smiles. This glimmer of love, sadness, pride and support. I know that they'll always be with us, it one of the two reasons that are keeping me from breaking down. The second being my band members.

 I feel so guilty… my members are suffering a lot. And I'm so helpless, so useless to them. Like I always have been to our currently absent members. I feel like I could have stopped them, held them tight, telling them that we will go throught all the obstacles, together.

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