Chapter 3:

I´m happy that I could meet Kyuhyun two times today. Especially when I heard that Zhoumi was just his friend~ Wait! That HE is not his boyfriend doesn´t mean he doesn´t have another guy! What if he does?! He CAN´T have someone else! It´s absoluty a no! NOOO!!! Get it out of your head, Sungmin. But still... Next time I´ll just ask him to be sure. Wait! Why am I worrying so much. I should be happy that he found someone he likes... right? It´s not that I have any right to say anything about it....To be against it.

I walked toward the house where i lived with my soon-to-be husband. Yeah, Sungmin... He´s gonna be your husband, so stop thinking about Kyuhyun already. You should leave this love as soon as possible! How can you still dare to think about him while you have a fiance, though it wasn´t because you loved him... But he IS still your fiance. Maybe... If I hear it from Kyuhyun, that he has a boyfriend, I mean girlfriend! Maybe I can give those feelings up.

I just dialed his number without thinking. I saw a bench near so I sat there, still holding the phone to my ear.

¨The number you dialed is not avaible at this moment. Please leave a message after de beep. Beep-¨

¨Ah, he´s busy...¨

I looked right before me, but didn´t really saw anything. Not because it was already dark, but because my head was totally blank. I signed and started looking at the ground. I felt really dissapointed, now that he was busy, just at the moment I needed him so much.

I looked around me to see where i was. And that didn´t make me any happier. I realized that I was at the place where I was with Kyuhyun a couple of years ago. This is the place that made my heart break apart for the first time in my life. I never felt such a pain before. It hurted so much. I wonder if there was anything else that could hurt so much. I don´t think so. Ah, yes, I felt it as well another time... Now that I think about it, that was with Kyu too.

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I sat together with Kyuhyun on swings. We were just talking about random things. I couldn´t help but ask him that, what kept lingering in my head.

´Kyunnie~ Do you like someone?´ I asked him with so much hope in my eyes.

´liking someone...? Yeah... I´m loving someone...´ he said a bit hestitated. W-what... Why did he never told me. Why? W-w-w-

´Really... Then... Who is it~´ I hided the fact that I was hurt deep inside my heart and asked him who it was since i really wanted to know it. I think...

¨Who?¨ he blushed obviously. He was quiet for a moment. ¨Just... Someone...¨

¨Pwease~ Kyu tell me~¨ I pouted at him cutely, ¨Pwease~¨

¨Sungmin I love -¨

¨KYUHYUN! SUNGMIN! HURRY UP!¨ a boy yelled from a far. We walked toward him.

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I wish I had never asked that. Maybe, I would still had some hope back then. But I choice the other way. I was afraid that if I confessed, he would get angry with me or something. Or he would say 'yes' because he felt bad for me or was afraid to reject me. I didn´t want one of them to happen. If he would say yes, I would only be between the one he loves and him. I didn´t want that. He should at least have an opportunity to be really happy. Honestly, I know that I did the right thing, letting him go, but it still hurt deep inside. Since I know that he really loved that someone. I remember him, singing a song for that girl.

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I heard some sound and recognized the voice immediately, so I walked to the room to listen to it. I opened the door a bit to spy the guy who was playing the piano. I was right, it was him.

Ah, he stopped with playing.Why, I haven´t heard him sing yet! I saw him breathing in calmly and began to sing again.

'You ask me.... are you still alone.... And I just laugh. I am loving some~one, I have someone- someone to love.

You seem to worry about me, telling me there is someone, you would like me to meet.

Do you know that I~ Do also have a freat lover, someone that I love so much, that I had to hide.

That someone, only I can see him, he is only visible, to my eyes. I keep him locked in my lips forever. Only the tears that fill my eyes now, know, that that someone is you.

I don´t want have him. I don´t want to be greedy, I only want to love him~

Can you see~ I´m not alone, so don´t worry about me so much, someday I´ll introduce him to you. Can´t you hear the tears that fill my eyes now say~ That person is you.'

I heard him sob and I just walked away, crying as well.

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That moment I realized that I couldn´t be totally happy anymore, everytime you smiled like that toward me, because I realized that there was nothing special in it toward me. Even though I wanted to believe that that smile was just for me. It probably wasn´t, right? Still... Just maybe...

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¨Kyuhyun... Let´s go to the park okay?¨ I need to tell him. Even though I don´t want to tell him.

We walked to the park where we usely sat, just the two of us. That´s why I love this place so much~ It´s the only place where i can be together with him alone. But unfortunaly, today will be the last day probably...

We sat down on the swings where we usely sat on. Now... Now is the moment to tell him. I have to tell him before it will hurt more. I don´t want those hurting feelings anymore, so I guess I have to tell him now--

´Min, I need to tell you something´ he looked seriously at me he stopped a bit. I interrupted him before he could talk any further,

´Kyu... Me first... I... I´m gonna to move away... I won´t see you anymore...´ Yeah... I can´t see him anymore from now on. It´s not that we can´t, it´s just that I don´t want it anymore. After I heard he was gonna confess to the girl he likes, I decided to break our relationship. I couldn´t bear him, having a girlfriend.

´...´

I didn´t dare to look at him, but when I did, I regretted doing that. Looking at him, loving him, breaking up with him (as friends), leaving him. His face at that moment broke my heart. I felt even worse at the time, he told me he loved someone.

I knew that I broke his heart. I just knew it. I was really selfish, running away from my feeling, the pain, but I didn´t realize that with doing that... I made another person feel the same... I suddenly saw tears all over his face and he ran away. Really fast. As soon as I saw that, I ran right after him.

´KYU!! KYUHYUN!! PLEASE WAIT!! DON´T RUN AWAY!!´ I ran as hard as I could, but unfortunately, he did that as well. He was always a bit faster than me. He

ran faster and faster and my sign of him became smaller and smaller. I cried out loud while screaming things to him, but he ignored me. I felt my legs go numb and I couldn´t

breath much anymore, but I had to walk on, I got to speak with him.

I came a bit nearer to him, but not enough. He ran even faster. Every step he walks-runs- further from me, more tears start to fall for both of us. I couldn´t see him very good, but I could see him crying. Of course he would, his best friend for years told him, he was leaving him. For the past years, you could only see us together. Where Kyuhyun was, was Sungmin. Where Sungmin was, was Kyuhyun.

¨K... Kyu... P... lease..... s....top....¨ He looked behind to see me, but ran away again. This time, I couldn´t run any further and fell on the ground. The only thing that I could do now, was watching you, going away to a place where i can´t reach you. I tried to reach my hand out to you , but no... I can´t catch you... So the only thing I can do is cry... cry...

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*bomb, bomb, bomb, my heart is like a bomb- bang, bang,bang, the break-up gun shot me bang~*

Ah, I forgot I was still here in the park. So many sad memories... I felt some tears on my face, most of them dried up.

*bomb, bomb, bomb my heart is like a bomb, bang bang, bang the break-up gun-*

¨Hello?¨

¨Sungmin? You called?¨ I heard Kyuhyun´s voice on the other side.

¨Ah yeah. It was nothing, sorry to bother you. Bye.¨

¨Wait! Where are you? Let´s at least talk a bit. I just thought about you.¨ I felt my head getting red and my heart beat like crazy.

¨R-really? S-sure, I´m just sitting on a bench in a park. I don´t really have anything else to do. Where are you?¨

¨I? I just came from my moms house. She needed my help, now I´m walking to my apartment.¨

¨Ah, your apartment... Where do you live?¨

¨Near my parents house. A couple of streets behind it.¨

¨Do you live with anyone? Your girlfriend?¨ Nice one, Min. Now I can also find out if he has a girlfriend.

¨hahaha, no I live alone. I don´t have a girlfriend. And to be true... I´m not really interested in getting one.¨

¨Ahh~ is that so. Why not?¨

¨I´m not really interested in girls...¨

¨EH! You don´t wanna fall in love! Why not?!¨ I accidentally shouted out.

¨Hahaha Hyung, you´re still cute even trough the phone. I meant... I don´t like girls but boys.¨

¨...¨ What did he just say... ¨SINCE WHEN!¨

¨Uhmm... Since...¨ I met you. Kyuhyun thought (short Kyu POV) ¨ High school? Middle school?¨

¨Really...¨ I felt shocked and hurt. I couldn´t believe what I just heard. Then... Who did he love back then?

¨Yeah. You sound shocked. Is something wrong with it?¨

¨No... it´s nothing... Then... Do you have a boyfriend?¨

¨... Min... What if I said... yes...¨

I broke apart. It felt awful. I- I- I can´t breath.

I fell on the ground. With tears falling over my whole face. I can´t describe this feeling. It´s worse than anthing I ever felt before. Why didn´t you tell me, that you already liked someone before? Right now, it hurts so much that i want feel like I want to die.

¨I-I-I- I h-h-have to go. Bye!¨

¨Sungm-¨

¨tuut, tuut, tuut, tuut, tuut, tuut,¨

How... How... I-I-I.... It´s not fair! It, it, it´s not fair!! Time is really unfair. If he just told me that before, I could confess. Today it hurts only more than yesterday.

If- If- I confessed back then, you could have still fall in love with me. Now, I feel like you would have come to me if I waited for awhile. Maybe... I have still a change. No! Let it out of your head, Sungmin! You both have someone already. But still... The fact that he can still love me. I can´t leave anymore. No! he already has someone, If i´m going to think like that, it will only hurt more as time passes.

I sat on the bench with my head covered in my legs. I sat there for a half hour or soemthing. My tears where already gone. I didn´t have any left anymore. Even though I didn´t cry that much tonight...

Suddenly I heard someone panting before me, but I didn´t really care who it was. Until he talked to me. He first gasped for air.

¨S-Sungmin! Why did you suddenly hung up! I tried to call you back, but you ignored it! You know how worried I was!!¨ You could see that the guy run here. But why? ¨YOU! Look at me!¨

Instead of looking at him, I looked at my cellphone and realized that he really called me back. ¨I- I´ sorry, I didn´t know you called back...¨

He signed and sat next ot me. He leaned his head on my shoulder. That made my heart beat faster again.

¨I w-as so wor... ried stupid.¨ he was still panting a bit. ¨What´s wrong with you? You really make me worried again. Just like you used to.¨ he started to giggle. Now I couldn´t help but smile along.

¨Are you still worried about me?¨ He looked surprised at me and hit me on my head. I pouted at him and I saw that he started to blush.

¨Of course I am! I still care as much as before, about you. ¨

¨No... That´s not true... You´re caring more about your boyfriend now...¨ I looked the other way to avoid eye contact. ¨ I used to be your best friend. A friend which you would care more about than you girlfriend... But those times are over now... You now have a boyfriend to care more about. And I´m now, just an old friend from the past...¨

¨Min... That´s not true. My thoughts about you never, ever changed... About that from be-¨

¨It´s unfair!¨ I shouted out, that made me and Kyuhyun shock. ¨Why!¨

¨W-what...?¨

¨I was the one! I met you first! Itś unfair! We should be-¨ I started crying. No... Don´t say anymore. Those thought are useless now... Why did you tell him... ¨It´s not fair! Why can´t I get those thoughts out of my head!!¨ I cried even more right now. He began to hug me tightly.

¨Shh~ Minnie... What´s wrong? Which thoughts? Tell me what is hurting you so much. Are you nervous for the we-¨

¨NOOO~~ WHY DO I STILL HAVE THE THOUGHTS THAT YOU´LL STILL LOVE ME THAT WAY!! I DON´T WANT IT!! ¨ I hugged him tight as well and cried on his shoulder.

¨...¨

¨Naaah~~!!¨ I cried out loud. Kyu just kept silent. ¨Why does it still seem like you´ll come to me if I wait a bit longer...¨ I said soft through my tears.

We where still sitting.

¨Sung... Min...¨ he said worried.

¨Why did you never tell me?¨

¨Min...¨

¨Why! Weren´t we best friend! Why did you never tell! And why do you have a boyfriend!¨

¨Why would it bother you... You´re the one who is getting married...¨

Yeah.. he´s right... I have a fiance now... I´m going to live a great life with him... I shouldn´t do this

to Kyuhyun and his boyfriend. I feel like taking away his happiness...

¨... Yeah... You´re right... I shouldn´t love you anymore...¨

¨Eh-¨ he pulled me from him, but still holding me in his arms. ¨Y.you what?¨

¨Wasn´t it kinda obvious... But it doesn´t matter anymore... You have a boyfriend and I have a soon-to-be-husband... I shouldn´t have hoped for more, from the start... ¨

¨...¨

¨I think we should seperate ways now... My fiance must be worried...¨ Is stood up but he grabbed my waist.

¨Sungmin...¨ he whispered, ¨You misunderstood... I don´t have a boyfriend... I just wanted to know how you would react if I told you I had... I´m sorry... The truth is that I like boys... Just one to be true... I liked him since the first time we met and slowly loved him...¨ I started to cry once again. I never cried this much. I feel like a crybaby. Why is he telling me this... Does he want to hurt me even more...

¨W... What does that have to do with-¨ I couldn´t finish my words, since I suddenly felt a pair of lips on mine. KYUHYUN WAS ACUALLY KISSING ME! THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS! I MEAN THIS!! (I know strange for a soon-to-be -wife-husband, but I never wanted to kiss him)

I felt so happy yet sad at that moment. I started to kiss him back. I couldn´t help it. It was so romantic until I felt someone pulling me away from him.

¨SUNGMIN!¨ a guy yelled to me. It was him... my fiance.