I was almost done with this chapter when my laptop crashed on me and deleted everything I wrote ;-; It felt like déja vu because a similar thing happened to me when I was in Secondary One... I was done typing my three page report, which I spent a long time on because I had to cut down so many words for my page limit, and I saved it. Then, I went to find the document again just to ensure that it's actually saved somewhere in the laptop and I couldn't find it anywhere, not even in the recent projects area T-T Anyway, here is chapter 5 again... I'll try to remember what I wrote.

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Both of them did not know how they ended up in that position but one thing was for sure. Joshua needed to get out of there and he needed to do it, fast.

Earlier on, Jeonghan was finishing up on his projects in his dorm. Due to the lack of friends in his years growing up, he learnt to spend as much time as possible on other things that he could focus on just to forget about the fact that he had no one to spend time with. Rather, he occupied himself with his academics because he wanted to feel like he was too busy for company and that he did not need it anyway.

Just as Jeonghan finished typing his report, he heard a knock on the door. Jeonghan guessed that it was Joshua since he had no other friends who would come find him for without reason anyway. He was right. As he opened the door, Joshua greeted him with a smile on his face. Jeonghan noticed that his eyes had a certain charm to them. They were not particularly big or anything, but they sparkled. He knew he was being silly, but something about the boy’s eyes attracted him.

He welcomed Joshua in, feeling glad that Joshua was early. Joshua wore a sheepish smile on his face as he entered Jeonghan’s room. Joshua was a little surprised at the disorganised state of his room. However, it had a fragrant smell and nothing looked dirty either. Joshua always had the impression that everything about him would be neat and tidy because of his tidy appearance.

Sensing the surprise from Joshua, Jeonghan explained, “I was busy typing my reports today so I have not tidied up my room.” Jeonghan laughed awkwardly, not knowing what else to say.

Joshua looked at him in astonishment and said, “It’s fine really. Usually, the guys here would have empty takeout boxed strewn all over the room.”

“W-what? But wouldn’t the dirt make them feel uncomfortable? Such guys exist? O-oh my…” Jeonghan asked while making a confused and cute face.

Joshua laughed at how adorably worried Jeonghan was for other people’s cleanliness. 

“Jeonghan, you act like you don’t have any guy friends around here. It’s really normal, I swear.”

Joshua flashed a grin at Jeonghan, expecting him to do the same. However, Jeonghan flinched. He was quick to smile again. Joshua was worried that he had said something wrong.

Jeonghan clapped his hands together and said, “Hey, let’s start practice! We don’t have much time left.”

Joshua felt uncomfortable at how overly enthusiastic Jeonghan sounded but was relieved that Jeonghan changed the topic.

They began practice. Joshua demonstrated how to sing the song and his singing voice captivated Jeonghan. Jeonghan wondered why Joshua was not as vocal during the acapella sessions, since he had such a clear and sweet voice.

“Jeonghan? Jeonghan?”

Joshua waved his hand in front of Jeonghan, trying to get his attention. Realising that he had been caught staring at Joshua, Jeonghan blushed deeply. At that moment, he wanted to bury himself in a hole and never come back out.

“Joshua, you should sing more parts.” Jeonghan began, “I think you should sing at least one verse. This song is a love song, right? It sounds a little like a duet. Joshua, let’s do a duet instead. I don’t mind if I still have more parts but I want to hear you sing more.” Jeonghan realised that he may have blurted too much of his thoughts and added, “Um y-you don’t have to listen to me or anything…”

Joshua’s face flushed after hearing another compliment from Jeonghan. He was sure Jeonghan did not mean that Joshua was cute earlier on but this time, he was sure Jeonghan was complimenting his singing voice. Others rarely did because people like Jihoon, Dokyum and Seungkwan would outshine him.

“I-I like doing background work but… Okay, I’ll take those two verses…” Joshua said as he pointed at the lyrics.

Jeonghan nodded and was glad that Joshua would listen to him.

“I’m thirsty,” Jeonghan said. He stood up and started walking towards the table, where his pink water bottle rested.

Joshua made a mental note to himself to remember that Jeonghan likes pink, though he was not sure why he would need that kind of information.

“Joshua ah-“

Jeonghan tripped on a file on the floor and fell on top of Joshua, who was sitting on Jeonghan’s bed. Jeonghan’s whole body covered Joshua’s slightly smaller frame. Not one of them dared to move.

They stared at each other, waiting for the other party to shift out of his position first. 

“J-Jeonghan I…”

Both of them did not know how they ended up in that position but one thing was for sure. Joshua needed to get out of there and he needed to do it, fast.

Jeonghan looked down at Joshua and swore that Joshua’s breathing hitched, or was it his own? He was hoping for Joshua to move first so that he could avoid any more accidents.

As if on cue, they heard a knock on the door. Jeonghan removed himself from the bed and released Joshua’s wrist that he was holding onto so tightly. Now that Jeonghan was temporarily gone, Joshua let himself ponder over what just happened.

“Jeonghan was… He smelled nice. He was on top of me… I don’t know why but I wanted to move so badly but I could not. I was frozen in place… Why? D-did I like it? No way!” Joshua thought. He shook his head really hard to assure himself that he had not enjoyed their brief physical contact. He knew that Jeonghan would find him creepy and never talked to him if he found out that Joshua enjoyed it.

“Fried rice for us!” Jeonghan happily announced while carrying a bag into the room. The smell of fried rice wafted through the air in the room, making Joshua’s mouth water.

“Let’s resume practice for a while, now that we’ve changed the line distribution.” Joshua said.

Jeonghan agreed and plopped down right beside him on the bed. Jeonghan moved closer to Joshua, trying to get a better view of the lyrics sheet. Joshua’s breathing hitched again as he felt Jeonghan’s warm breath against his cheeks, but Jeonghan was too distracted by the lyrics sheet to notice.

After they were done with practice, they opened the takeout packets and began eating.

“Hey Joshua,”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for being my friend. People would usually just ignore me.”

“W-what?” Joshua stuttered, feeling puzzled by his words.

“D-did I say something wrong?” Jeonghan asked nervously. He was not sure how to interact with humans since he had close to no experience.

“Nothing… Don’t you have friends?” After the words left his mouth, Joshua internally face palmed.

“I shouldn’t have said that…” Joshua thought, recalling how the pretty guy flinched at the mention of having friends.

Jeonghan’s face fell a little but he began his story anyway.

“Joshua, I never had friends growing up. After I moved away from my birthplace in Seoul to Busan…”

“Oh I grew up in Seoul! We could have met,”

“When I transferred to my new school, everyone stuck to their own cliques and ignored me. I tried blending in to some cliques but they never worked. I always got stared at by others and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because my hair grew long… I think I should chop it off-“

“NO!” Joshua exclaimed, “I-it looks pretty on you…” Joshua added sheepishly.

Jeonghan blushed at his words. Joshua’s reaction was far from expected.

Jeonghan continued, “I missed the times when I was younger, when I had friends. I had this really good friend in particular. His name was Jisoo. I would call him Soo and he would call me Hannie. We would eat ice cream together… He would get chocolate and I would get vanilla. It was perfect. I was so happy. Jisoo and I would venture off together until our worried parents came to look for us… Those times were blissful.” Jeonghan closed his eyes and let all the memories flood back into his head. 

“However, Jisoo started to become sick and one day when I went to visit him, he asked me, ‘Who are you?’. That hurt so much. My heart just broke at his question and it haunts me even till this day. He was suddenly so cold. I think his parents took this opportunity to distance Jisoo from me. They were a Christian family and they suspected that if we hung out too much, Jisoo wouldn’t fall for a girl…”

“...But for you.” Joshua finished.

Jeonghan stared at Joshua with wide eyes. Joshua’s interjection surprised Jeonghan, to say the least. It was as though Joshua could read his mind.

“Yeah,” Jeonghan continued, “My parents were worried too, since I was their only son. They took this opportunity to move away from Seoul so that I could not contact my dear Jisoo anymore. I didn’t even have a chance to bid him farewell,” Jeonghan let out a cold laugh and added, “'Don’t be gay', said my parents. I bet they saw us kiss at the playground. Honestly, I did not know what I felt for Jisoo but I learnt that you’d kiss someone you loved and cared about and that’s exactly what I did, kiss Jisoo.”

Joshua did not know what to say. He shifted awkwardly on the bed, waiting for the man whom he had recently met to continue pouring out his life story to Joshua.

“I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me your story. Also, I’d never avoid you. You’re too pretty to ignore.”

Jeonghan blushed again at the compliment he received.

“I can more or less relate to your story. My parents has been telling me since young not to be gay. What have I done? Probably something I did when I was younger, I’m not sure. They never let me go out with boys alone. What have I done, though? Jeonghan, I remember having a friend who resembles you and I remember loving him like how you loved Jisoo too but my memory is cloudy. I cannot remember much…”

“Maybe you were my Jisoo.” Jeonghan joked. He knew it was impossible. Although the details matched, one thing did not, their names. Jeonghan remembered clearly that his name was Jisoo, not Joshua. Besides, even if he found Jisoo, Jisoo would ask the same question again, not knowing how it would break Jeonghan’s heart. He was not sure how he felt towards Jisoo but he remembered that there was love. Was it more than friendship love? Jeonghan was unclear.

Joshua laughed nervously at Jeonghan’s statement. "Surely not?” He thought. There was no way Joshua would have such a pretty friend when he was younger, if not, Joshua would remember him. Joshua glanced at the clock and realised that it was getting late.

Jeonghan must have realised it too because he said, “Joshua, it’s getting late, you should return to your dorm.”

“Yeah I should… Hey Jeonghan, can I ask you a question?”

“Well you technically already did but go on,” Jeonghan teased.

“Can we meet in the morning for practice too? I know it’s a bit of a hassle for you… I can make you breakfast if that makes up for your sacrifice! I’m so sorry…”

“Of course I’ll meet you tomorrow morning. When and where?”

“Hmm, 8am at my dorm? I want you to get to know Vernon too so that you’ll be able to be more at ease with us…”

Jeonghan was touched by Joshua’s concern for him. He nodded to signal his agreement and with that, Joshua left his dorm.

“Bye angel.” Joshua whispered.

“Bye Jisoo.” Jeonghan said after Joshua left. His voice was barely audible.

Jeonghan slapped himself. There is no way that pretty boy with an English name could be his Jisoo…

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How was it? :3 I’m so sorry for the delayed update! I discovered so many good fan fiction out there oh my >< I really like fan fiction that involve Sehun from exo… Although I do not stan exo, something about Sehun pulls me in and I really like some exo songs! 

If you’re curious to know, (probably not) I stan these groups:

Seventeen (well, quite obviously, and my biases are the people who appear the most in the story XD - Junghan, Jisoo and Hansol)

BTS (V has a really good voice, that boy deserves much more recognition for his voice and he’s a really cute alien hahaha)

Super Junior (but I support them in a different way; I see them more of as an older brother group rather than someone I would crush on if you get what I mean o///o) Super Junior’s vocals are daebak!!!

P.s. Today is Jeonghan’s birthday!!! I hope he has a happy birthday :D I’ve always written my birthday as 1004 (10 April) But his birthday is the other way round so maybe I’m the opposite of an angel?? OO: hehe. omo this chapter is so long ><

Thanks for reading!~